RockyBalboa Tagged Articles at Cinematical

1a. The Lord of the Rings (December 17-19, 2001-2003)
This just goes without saying, doesn't it?

1b. The Exorcist (December 26, 1973)
The Exorcist is a perfect Halloween movie, with its colored leaves and chilly autumn winds. But here's a secret: it opened the day after Christmas, 1973. I can only imagine: you and the family are slightly hung over from turkey dinners and an overabundance of gifts. You yawn, put down your empty egg nog mug, step over the discarded wrapping paper, move past the Christmas tree, past Grandpa Fred asleep on the couch, wrap up in scarves and hats, pile in the car, drive down to the movie theater, and buy tickets for... this? For spinning heads and pea-soup vomit? Yet it worked, and it was a huge hit. This was what people wanted to see that winter. Perhaps it was a reflection of those dark times. Just last year, during our own dark times, AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem opened on Christmas Day. I have an AVPR ornament on my tree to prove it.

• Tab Thacker (1962-2007) - Wrestler and actor (pictured) who played Officer "House" in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol and Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach. He also appears in Wildcats, City Heat and Melvin Van Peebles' Identity Crisis. He died after a long illness complicated by diabetes December 28. (WRAL.com)
• Jeanne Carmen (1930-2007) - B-movie actress and pinup model who appears in The Monster of Piedras Blancas and Untamed Youth. She died of lymphoma December 20, in Irving, California. (Variety)
• Peter Handford (1919-2007) - Sound recordist and mixer who won a Best Sound Oscar for Out of Africa and was nominated for his work on Gorillas in the Mist. He also worked on Hope and Glory, Dangerous Liaisons, Julia, Tom Jones, Night and the City, Summertime, Murder on the Orient Express and Hitchcock's Frenzy and Under Capricorn. He died November 6 in Suffolk, England. (Times Online)
• Edward Hansen (c.1925-2007) - Assistant director of Disney's Robin Hood, The Aristocats and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and production manager of The Fox and the Hound, Mickey's Christmas Carol and The Black Cauldron. He died December 20. (The Big Cartoon Forum)
  
• Jerzy Kawalerowicz (1922-2007) - Polish filmmaker who co-wrote and directed the Cannes winners Joan of the Angels and Pharaoh, which was nominated for an Oscar, as well as 2001's Quo Vadis? He died December 27. (EUX.tv)
• Michael Kidd (1915-2007) - Choreographer who worked on Guys and Dolls, The Band Wagon, Li'l Abner, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Hello, Dolly!, Star!, and Merry Andrew, which he also directed. He acted in Stanley Donen's It's Always Fair Weather and Movie Movie, Michael Ritchie's Smile and Blake Edward's Skin Deep. He received an honorary Academy Award in 1997 for "his services in the art of the dance in the art of the screen." He died of cancer December 23, in Los Angeles. (Variety)
  
• Pat Kirkwood (1922-2007) - Actress and singer who portrayed music hall star Vesta Tilley in 1957's After the Ball. She died of Alzheimer's Disease December 25, in Ilkley, West Yorkshire, England. (Variety)

Jakks has produced this line of 8-inch action figures based on beloved characters from all of the Rocky films. It's an amazingly extensive collection, though you'll note they're a little light on Rocky V. I guess nobody wanted to own "Badly Brain Damaged Rocky." And they've got this version of Adrian where she appears to be exploding, but where's my "Coma Adrian" from Rocky II? Where's the beef? Oh wait...we've got the beef. Yes, the movie merchandising world has hit a new low. You too can own...a plastic replica of the side of beef Rocky punched in the original. Oh, and it comes with a blood-covered smock. No, I'm serious. Go ahead. Click the link. I'll wait.

Imagine you're a kid waking up on Christmas morning. You eagerly tear open a beautifully wrapped gift to find an action figure labeled simply: "The Meat." Wouldn't you think your parents were pulling some sort of cruel joke? Who would buy this, you ask? Apparently a lot of people. Even at the outrageous price of $12.99, "The Meat" is currently sold out. Now, I made some stupid purchases in my youth. At one point, I owned six different Leonardo Ninja Turtles. They were all the same, except one could store swords in his shell, one had a mask and trenchcoat, etc. Admittedly, my money could have been better spent on Pixie Sticks, Fun Dips, and Pogs.

However, even as a dumb kid, I wouldn't have bought, say, a large rubber pizza for the Turtles to enjoy. I wouldn't have bought a plastic ham sandwich for Darth Vader to nosh on between executions. You've got to draw the line somewhere. I love the Rocky series with all my heart, and I suppose Rocky beating his meat (could have phrased that better) is an iconic film image. But "Meat" is not a character. "Meat" does not an action figure make. "Meat" is not...oh, who am I kidding, I want one of these right now.

The World War II movie Days of Glory opens today on 3 screens. That's not to be confused with another movie called Days of Glory, from 1944, or the other one from 1945. Nor is it to be confused with Hope and Glory, Paths of Glory, What Price Glory, Bound for Glory, Days of Heaven, Days of Thunder, or just plain Glory.

In the past, war movies used to be about something. By the titles alone, you could go to a movie expecting to see Attacks, Battles, Bridges, Boats, The Big Red One, Bullets, Dawn Patrols, Dirty Dozens, Fighting Sullivans, Fixed Bayonets, Flying Leathernecks, Great Escapes, Guns of Navarone, Merrill's Marauders, and even Full Metal Jackets. Titles like these make you want to roar and holler and tear around the woods, ripping right through enemy cover with thunder and trumpets driving you on.

I wouldn't necessarily call Joe Queenan a film critic. He's more of a humorist, though one that has devoted much of his writings to the subject of movies. I've followed his work for many years and think his book Confessions of a Cineplex Heckler: Celluloid Tirades and Escapades is only topped by Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese (by, of course, MST3K's Michael J. Nelson) where funny film writing is concerned. Lately Queenan has been writing about movies for UK's The Guardian, and so far, from the way our readers have commented on stories about his pieces, he's being taken too seriously over there. But then, Queenan is also seemingly guilty of trying to be taken more seriously as a film journalist.

Queenan's latest bit of internal musing disguised as a film feature is on the subject of The Departed, written in anticipation of the UK DVD release of the Martin Scorsese film. Queenan writes that Scorsese is trying to tell him something with the Oscar-nominated film because of the fate of a character in the film named Queenan (played by Martin Sheen). Apparently the name Queenan isn't very common, and Joe Queenan thinks the choosing of this name is a sort of payback -- or threat, maybe -- for unfavorable things he's written about the filmmaker, mainly that he has in the past addressed Scorsese's potentially misogynistic personal touches. In the end Queenan apologizes for making assumptions about Scorsese's real-life relationships with women.