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"Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we have very little reason to be interested in them." - Pauline Kael

You've heard the buzz. You've followed the rumors. You may even have bought the hat or the t-shirt, or photoshopped your own CNN title crawl involving the words snakes, plane and a couple obscene gerunds. Now, after months of waiting, Snakes on a Plane -- possessed of the simplest, the-title-is-the-pitch plot in years -- has opened without screening for critics, which is why I found myself at a semi-full Midnight show along with a crowd who, in many cases, brought their own rubber or stuffed snakes. Between TV appearances, interviews, recording material for "custom-made" promotional phone messages and photos draped in legless reptiles, star Samuel L. Jackson's been working overtime to plug, push and pitch Snakes on a Plane -- and looks like he's having a great time.

Of course, if you're going to bet your career on a roll of the dice, you'd probably want to look enthused as you toss them down. Jackson may be a movie star -- he's internationally known and, with his rippling vocal cadences, loved and mocked by pop-culture fans worldwide -- but he's yet to top-line a movie that opens to more than $35 million dollars. (Much like Jeff Goldblum, the total box office of films Jackson's been in is formidable -- but those are films where he's most definitely not the main attraction.) So, why not make a crazy-ass bet on some snakes?

Jackson plays FBI agent Neville Flynn, who is escorting Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips), a witness to a brutal gangland slaying in Hawaii, to L.A. to testify. It would be a serious setback for gangster Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) if Jones were to testify; Jones can't be allowed to make it to L.A. alive. And so, in one of the most ornate and inefficient assassination plots the silver screen has shown us since the heyday of Wile E. Coyote, Kim arranges for an assassin to load the plane with a time-release box of ... poisonous snakes. Kim snaps at an underling who questions the plan: "Don't you think I've exhausted every other option?" Well, let me think: Guns ... knives ... garrotes ... No, Eddie, I don't think you have. When Hank (Bobby Cannavale), Flynn's ex-partner on the ground in L.A., is told of the situation, he asks the question we all would: "What kind of insane plan is that?"

Just when you thought the frenzy over Snakes on a Plane couldn't get more annoying gleefully out of control, the powers that be have launched a Biggest Fan contest at the movie's official website. Since the winner is determined by on-site votes, it's really a traffic-driver more than anything else (all you have to do is register, and get people to vote for you; as far as I can tell, there's no need to actually prove any devotion to the movie whatsoever) -- but since you can win stuff like tshirts, hats, and posters just for hitting vote thresholds, if you're into the movie it's probably worth registering. Plus, the person when finishes with the most votes wins a private screening for up to 100 people, which is pretty damn cool. (In terms of devotion, however, it's going to take a lot to beat this gentleman.)

Sadly for the folks at FX, corporations don't seem to be eligible for the contest. If they were, the company would win hands-down, having recently agreed to pay up to about $20 million for the four-year rights to Snakes on a Plane on TV. Jesus. I wonder if this a good move -- I mean, if the movie sucks, how much TV appeal will a funny title still have three years from now?

[Contest links via Snakes on a Blog]

We know you love those Snakes on a Plane almost as much as we do. Okay, sure, it looks cheesy as hell, but would YOU want to be trapped on a plane at 20,000 feet with a bunch of poisonous snakes? Nonetheless, who ever would have thought a film about snakes -- on a plane -- would have so many people so excited? Not me, that's for sure. But somehow, the presence of Samuel L. Jackson makes me feel just a teensy bit better about wanting to see this film. I mean, c'mon. Samuel L. Jackson kicking a bunch of snake butt? Well, technically I suppose snakes don't have "butts", but I so wanna see Jackson get all righteous on those slithery reptiles.

Lucky for you, Cinematical readers, our cohorts from Netscape (including former Cinematical editor Karina Longworth) will be in San Diego for Comic-Con, and Cinematical has been offered a sneak peek at the Snakes on a Plane booth, which the good folks at New Line (who, I might add, have been leading the forefront in bringing film bloggers into their marketing strategy) assure us will be mind-blowingly astounding. They maybe didn't use those exact words, but they did imply it will be cool. There will be a graffiti wall! And a huge snake!

Take a look as these super-sneak peeks they just sent us and see what you think, and be sure to check back here frequently later this week, fanboys and fangirls, for more Comic-Con coverage than you can shake a ... well, a snake at.

Sneak-peek pics after the jump ...