Yeah, I was kind of thinking the same thing after reading that headline: "Ryan Phillippe? In a Viking epic?" Is someone playing a cruel joke, or is this thin-as-tissue-paper pretty boy really going to try to pull off playing a tough-as-nails Viking? Well, according to The Hollywood Reporter, it would appear as if the latter is indeed true -- Phillippe, Sean Bean and Abbie Cornish have signed on to star in writer-director Menno Meyjes' Viking tale Last Battle Dreamer. HR describes Phillippe's role as being a "seventh-century Viking warrior named Thorfinn (sorry, I need to pause for a chuckle ... carry on ... ) who, along with his older brother, the battle-scarred Hakon (Bean), invades Britain." Maybe I'm totally mis-judging the guy (and, to be fair, I've sort of warmed up to Phillippe over the past two years), but no part of me sees him playing "a seventh-century Viking warrior."

But I digress. Bean and Cornish, on the other hand, I'm really starting to dig. I can certainly see them starring in a film like this, which Meyjes says is "a love story written in fire and blood." Back when this film was first announced, Variety said Meyjes was looking for an American to star as the Viking and a British woman to co-star as the noblewoman with which our heroic Viking falls for. Monika suggested Brad Pitt for the role. Well, I guess they're both blondes. Phillippe and Cornish will also star alongside one another in the upcoming Stop Loss, while Meyjes (who's completing post production on his matador biopic Manolete) has the John Cusack flick Martian Child (a film in which practically everyone at Cinematical wanted to review for some reason) due out this October, courtesy of New Line.

I don't think any jokes are necessary here -- Lindsay Lohan backing out of a film titled A Woman of No Importance is funny in and of itself. According to her rep via People, La Lohan has simply been taking on too many roles as of late and "doesn't want to just yes everyone and compromise herself anymore." In the pic, she would have starred alongside Annette Bening (who was supposed to co-star with Lohan in Freaky Friday until she dropped out) and Sean Bean.

Honestly, with all her medical problems, so-called addictions and tardiness issues, it's probably best that Lohan take a little bit of a break; not including A Woman of No Importance, the girl currently has three films (Speechless, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond, The Best Time of Our Lives) in pre-production, one filming (I Know Who Killed Me) and one (Georgia Rule) she will soon need to promote. Oh, and that's not counting her potential involvement in that apocalyptic horror flick, as well as a Steve Nicks project. Damn, no wonder she's a mess.

Right now, there's no word on a replacement for Lohan (might I suggest someone a little less controversial -- Dakota Fanning, perhaps?). A Woman of No Importance is based on the Oscar Wilde play, will be directed by Bruce Beresford (Driving Miss Daisy) and is due out sometime in 2008.

Hey all. Tommy here, pinch-hitting for regular box-office soothsayer Patricia, who is off battling near-sub-zero temperatures in Park City, Utah, to attend the Sundance Film Festival this week.

So here's what's happening this weekend at the box office. In the wake of the Golden Globes and in anticipation of this coming Tuesday's Academy Award nominations, a slew of Oscar contenders (most of which were released in 2006) are expanding to more theaters. These include Golden Globe Best Picture winner 'Babel,' the critically acclaimed 'The Queen,' the enthralling adult fairy tale 'Pan's Labyrinth,' Clint Eastwood's other World War II flick 'Letters From Iwo Jima,' the powerful indie 'The Last King of Scotland' and the Edward Norton period drama 'The Painted Veil.' Alas, despite their lofty aspirations and high caliber, these almost-sure-to-be-nominated flicks will get crushed -- and I mean crushed with AUTHORITY -- by this week's only new wide release 'The Hitcher.'

Despite its R-rating, 'The Hitcher' appeals to that primal desire in a large group of moviegoers to watch a beauitful scantily clad woman (in this case Sophia Bush) flee from an eerie-looking -- and clearly deranged -- dude (in this case Sean Bean) who likes to thumb rides in the rain and then end the lives of his car-pool "buddies." Prediction: 'The Hitcher' will be riding solo atop the box office come Sunday.

Prediction deadline: Saturday at noon

1. The Hitcher
2. Stomp the Yard
3. Night at the Museum
4. Dreamgirls
5. Pursuit of Happyness

POST: What's your weekend top five prediction?

POST: What do you think of these movies?

The original The Hitcher (1986) would probably have faded away unnoticed into the land of forgotten horror movies (Monster Dog, anyone?), if not for one thing: Siskel & Ebert reviewed it on their TV show (and we're talking the real guys, not the impostor that's on now). They gave it two thumbs down, to be sure, but on top of that, they were physically repulsed and morally incensed, outraged at the sick sensibility that would make such a piece of filth. Their strong response, naturally, triggered an interest in the film and it became a cult classic. (S&E should have known better; they did the same thing to Meir Zarchi's I Spit on Your Grave eight years earlier.)

Now I know how they felt, because the new remake of The Hitcher left me feeling just as angry, although not on any moral grounds. It left me angry because it's easily the dumbest movie I've seen since The Da Vinci Code. We're not talking a misfire or a disappointment; we're talking droolingly, numbingly stupid.

It strikes me a little funny that despite a long and varied career in the English film industry, Sean Bean has pretty much been relegated to the "British baddie" role in Hollywood movies. Well, that and the occasional so-so horror flick.

Solace in Cinema reported on a new trailer for Bean's latest film, Outlaws. The movie was directed by Nick Love, and is about a British military man (Bean) who returns home and bands together with some local malcontents to form a vigilante group. The local heroes then set out to solve society's ills. If you have seen Love's The Football Factory, you know Love isn't necessarily a fan of slow-paced introspective character studies. So don't expect these guys to organize grass-roots political action: It's all pipe bombs and ski masks. Rounding out the cast is Bob Hoskins as a policeman sympathetic to their cause that begins to supply them with what he considers to be some well-deserved targets.

The web site for the film promises a UK release date of March 9th, but as of yet there hasn't been any mention of any North American release. So until then, it's back to bad guys for Bean when The Hitcher hits theaters later this month.

[via JoBlo.com]

Just because everyone here at Cinematical loves The Hitcher, that hasn't stopped us from covering the hell out of the upcoming remake -- which is now opening on January 19th, just so you know. My take on remakes is simply this: Some of 'em work, most of 'em don't, and none of 'em can take the shine off a really classic flick. And while Joe & Jane Movierenter might know nothing of The Hitcher, that hasn't prevented the flick from becoming a cult classic genre flick of the highest caliber. Hell, even my mother loves The Hitcher, and she usually watches movies starring Sally Struthers and/or Lindsay Wagner.

So yeah, the remake is afoot. And if you can get this new-fangled doo-dad over at MSN to give up its wares, you can finally settle in and watch the all-new trailer for Platinum Dunes' new and improved The Hitcher. I think I've been pretty even-tempered toward this project so far, but I gotta say the trailer does next to nothing for me. Aside from the prospect of seeing Sean Bean play a psycho (which he's never done before), I feel rather ambivalent about the new Hitcher. Disinterested, one might say, but I've been wrong before.

Just so you know the score, the original was written by Eric Red and directed by Robert Harmon. The remake comes from screenwriter Jake Wade Wall and director Dave Meyers. The shrieking screamers, previously played by C. Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh, will now be portrayed by Zachary Knighton and Sophia Bush. And I'm sorry but, as cool as Sean Bean is (and he really is a very reliable and watchable character actor), nothing will be able to match what Rutger Hauer did with the role back in 1986. (According to completely fabricated rumors that I just now made up, Mr. Hauer actually killed 17 real motorists while preparing for the role of The Hitcher.)

[Thanks to BD for the tip!]

I know, I know: You freakin' love The Hitcher and you've been sick to your stomach ever since the remake got green-lit. But the flick is coming whether you want it or not (on February 7th, to be precise), and now we have certifiable visual evidence that this new-fangled version of The Hitcher is almost ready to roll. So here are the pics that a lovely publicist just sent me:



And that's pretty much all we have so far. As a re-cap, I'll remind you that The Hitcher comes from Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes outfit, is being directed by music video mega-pro Dave Meyers (from a screenplay by Eric (Highlander: Endgame) Bernt and Jake Wade (When a Stranger Calls) Wall), and stars the likes of Zachary Knighton, Sophia Bush and Sean Bean as the hitchhiker your mom warned you about. Repeatedly. Recap of the Platinum Dunes output so far: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, the Amityville Horror remake and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake prequel. You dole out the grades.

Odds and ends from Monday:

• Patrick Wilson is set to spend a hot and steamy Evening with Vanessa Redgrave, as the actor has signed on to play the love of her life (through flashbacks, I assume) in the upcoming film to be directed by Lajos Koltai. Claire Danes, Toni Collette and Hugh Dancy also star in a story about a 65-year-old cancer patient who, with her two daughters by her side, reflects on the weekend in which she met the man of her dreams.
• Filming is set to begin next week in Norway on True North, starring Michelle Yeoh, Sean Bean and newcomer Michelle Crusiec. Directed by Asif Kapadia (from a script by Kapadia and Tim Miller), pic is described as "a story about the collision of a native culture with greed-driven invaders." Returning once again to produce (after working with Kapadia on his debut film, The Warrior) will be Film4 and The Bureau. The French label Celluloid Dreams will be in charge of the film's international sales. (Note: A subscription is required to view the above link.)
• With his tenth film (Arthur and the Minimoys) coming out this winter, Luc Besson has officially announced that he's calling it a wrap ... as far as directing goes. Though he's mentioned in the past that his tenth film will be his last, the director (whose resumé includes such films as The Fifth Element and The Professional) spoke out Monday and once again confirmed to the press that this is it. Says Besson, "They are my 10 babies and I love them all. Now it's over." While this may mark the end of his directing career, Besson did not say anything about writing or producing, which leads us to believe he will still linger around.

When National Treasure hit the screens (in a big way) in late 2004, everyone and their symbologist grandmothers were scrambling over each other to dub it a blatant rip-off of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code. But now that we can look back to the starchy disappointment that was Da Vinci Code: The Movie, all of a sudden National Treasure doesn't look so silly. I know I didn't think much of the flick upon my initial visit, but it's managed to grow on me just a little bit since then. (Plus a good portion of it was shot in Philadelphia, so it can't be all bad.)

Anyway, you know where I'm going with this: National Treasure 2 is about to get underway, complete with the entire cast (Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, Diane Kruger, Jon Voight and Harvey Keitel) but minus Sean Bean, presumably because Jerry Bruckheimer thinks it's time for a colorful new villain. Cool. The plot for the sequel is being kept under wraps, but director Jon Turteltaub dropped a hint regarding "Mount Rushmore," a location that might be able to lend itself to quality cinema.

Whether or not National Treasure 2 qualifies as "quality cinema" is up to you; the flick should be ready by late 2007.

Bean Beats Up Girlfriend!

Apparently, Sean Bean, who plays villain in National Treasure, is having a hard time letting go of the evil characters he takes on. While staying at a luxury hotel with his 28-year-old girlfriend, the two reportedly got drunk, then proceeded to kick the crap out of one another. The booze-fueled fight was so vicious, both were left bloody and bruised. Bean, who is currently starring in a re-make of The Hitcher, was stunned to find out he was bleeding and claimed the lady attacked him. Hmm, perhaps he's just trying to frame the girl for a crime he committed? The Hitcher? Bloody fight? Blame falls on the girl? Something about this whole thing feels familiar, though I can't seem to put my finger on it.

Colin Farrell Stalked on Live TV!

Now, this is the way you stalk someone. During a taping of The Tonight Show, a woman from the audience simply walked on stage in an attempt to speak with Colin Farrell, who was in the middle of his interview with Jay Leno. Farrell, who was on the show promoting his upcoming film Miami Vice, was forced to do some police work of his own. As the woman moved closer, Farrell quickly jumped up, grabbed her by the arm, instructed the cameras be shut down and escorted his stalker off stage. Apparently, this same woman tried to file a lawsuit against Farrell, claiming he was stalking her. Hey, how come I don't have a stalker? The whole thing sounds like so much fun!

Haley Was Drunk!

Wow, looks like Haley Joel Osment's car wasn't the only thing wrecked in a serious car crash the other day. After losing control of his 1995 Saturn, smashing it into a brick pillar and flipping over, Osment was rushed to the UCLA Medical Center where, currently, he's in pretty good condition. However, police are now saying they believe the teen actor may have been under the influence of alcohol, though the results of a blood test will not be ready for another three weeks. Drunk driving? Say it ain't so Haley! And here I thought you had a good five more years before rehab came knocking. I'm saddened. That said, part of me wants to buy Haley a drink to congratulate him for flipping his car over and still managing to survive.