See No Evil Tagged Articles at Cinematical

After presenting the universe with such wondrous pieces of cinema as See No Evil, The Marine and The Condemned, the theatrical distribution division of WWE Films is closing its doors (maybe) forever. (One can only assume that the contract between WWE and Lionsgate was a three-flick arrangement, with the distributor politely declining a contract extension.) But don't get too blue, schlock fans. They'll still be making movies. Those flicks will just be going directly to video is all ... kinda like they should have done with See No Evil, The Marine and The Condemned.

WWE Films CEO Linda McMahon (any relation to Vince, I wonder?) says "We are now able to move more into direct-to-video production, and that will be the next focus." "Able"? More like "required." But then the Hollywood Reporter article goes on to say "McMahon noted that the WWE is in talks with a major studio on a potential deal for theatrical distribution on a first-look basis." Which means ... what? That WWE Films might latch on to a studio kinda like Nickelodeon did with Paramount? I wouldn't hold my breath on that.

According to McMahon, all three WWE flicks will "make money or at least break even," which isn't exactly the business model you want for a production company. She also suspects that the R rating on The Condemned may have contributed to its limp arrival at the box office. Um, yes. It's the R rating that did The Condemned in. Not the plot or the script or the concept or the (lack of) cast or the fact that it stars wrestlers. Nothing like an R rating to keep the action fans away from your movie. Ms. McMahon predicts that The Condemned will "perform well" once it hits video. Which probably explains why they'll be bypassing the multiplexes on future projects.

The Ant Bully -- One of only 612 animated movies to be released this year in which animals talk and do silly things, TAB hits DVD packing a bunch of new animated shorts, a few deleted scenes and some family-friendly featurettes. Plus, admit it: You're curious about seeing a cartoon flick in which the voices are contributed by Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti, Nicolas Cage and Meryl Streep. Or maybe you aren't.

Clerks 2 -- Raunchy and funny I fully expected ... but kinda sweet, too? That I didn't really see coming. As is always the case with Kevin Smith's DVD, the C2 dual-platter promises 37 styles of supplemental goodness: Three commentaries, a bunch of deleted scenes, a feature-length documentary, a handful of featurettes, outtakes, internet shorts, and of course a bunch of vulgar little surprises.

See No Evil -- I surely didn't expect anything resembling "quality filmmaking" from the combined efforts of "WWE Films" and porn director Gregory Dark -- but I really wasn't expecting a low-rent slasher flick that was this outrageously unwatchable. Horror fans may delight in the few icky killings, but they're couched between a plot / cast / screenplay that's the absolute pinnacle of banality. Plus the killer is a big doofy dork who's not scary in the least. I'm not sure what extras Lionsgate is tossing onto this disc, but they could throw the entire collected works of Gregory Dark on there, and it still couldn't salvage this movie. (And just so you know, Greg once directed a movie called Hootermania.)

Supergirl -- Kal-El's hot little cousin makes her way to Earth and tangles with evil in the form of Faye Dunaway. Peter O'Toole, Peter Cook and Mia Farrow are somehow involved, if you can believe it. Director Jeannot Szwarc provides an audio commentary, should you just want to enjoy Helen Slater's Supertights without all that pesky dialogue.

Superman (4-disc Special Edition) -- One of the finest superhero flicks ever made gets a really fancy re-release that'll put the previous Special Edition (which is pretty damn solid) to Supershame. Choose between the original 1978 version or the re-jiggered 2000 cut, and when you're done with both of those you can pick through filmmaker commentaries, score-only audio tracks, documentaries, screen tests, deleted scenes, 1951's Superman and the Mole Men, and a whole bunch of classic Fleischer cartoons. (Someone please buy me this DVD for Christmas even though I'm Jewish.)

We reported back in April on the rise of WWE Films, a new division of World Wrestling Entertainment dedicated to creating and financing (as long as distribution is in place before production begins) vehicles for the wrestlers who ply their trade for WWE. The label's first film, a horror flick called See No Evil, starred Kane and was released earlier this year -- albeit to largely dismal reviews -- by Lionsgate. Though the original report indicated that WWE Films' second release would be a Steve Austin vehicle called The Condemned, it turns out that an action/revenge film called The Marine will be hitting screen in October; Austin's film doesn't yet have a release date.

Now, I'm embarrassed to say this, but the Marine trailer really, really worked, at least on my little brain. It had me, as they, say at "hello" -- if by "hello" you mean "Robert Patrick as baddie." Patrick plays an evil, violent bastard who takes the wife of John Cena's character hostage at as a gas station, and drives off with her. Which, needless to say, is a bad idea -- in addition to being played by a badass professional wrestler, the guy is also an ex-Marine, giving him to ability to defeat legions of bad guys with his bare hands. What's so great about all of this, though, is the way Patrick has totally bought into his character's sleaze, and the sort of joyful irritation that colors his delivery -- you never dreamed "I tried to kill this guy twice today" could be pronounced quite so perfectly. He's basically playing Walken-lite, and seems utterly thrilled by the whole silly thing.

So, yeah. Maybe this WWE Films thing isn't such a bad idea after all.

[via JoBlo]

Riding gleefully on a wave of controversy-driven publicity -- not to mention the backs of zillions of eager Dan Brown-lovers -- The Da Vinci Code soared to the top of the box office the weekend, scoring the biggest open of 2006. The $77 million the film earned from 3735 screens gave it the 13th largest domestic open in history (for comparison's sake, Mission: Impossible III opened on over 4000 screens and made $47.7 million on its first weekend out) -- and that without even talking about the $120 million the movie made abroad, which was the second-biggest foreign debut ever for an American film. Who the hell needs critics, anyway?

The weekend's other big debut, Over the Hedge, finished a distant second with earnings of $37.2 million, while See No Evil made a paltry $4.4 million on just over 1200 screens. Joining The Da Vinci Code and Over the Hedge in the top five were MI3, which made $11 million (pushing its three week total over $100 million), Poseidon, which continued to disappoint with only $9.2 million, and RV at $5.1 million. The full top 10 is after the jump.

You may not have heard, but some movie based on a big book came out today. I can't remember what it's called, but there's an artist in the title -- The Rembrandt Follies, or something. Anyway, it's supposed to be the worst move ever, but actually most critics just found it boring, not hate-able. And, when they wanted to have fun, film writers this week went to see Over the Hedge, which they found to be a clever, vaguely environmentally conscious film, buoyed by great casting. Of the voices, obviously. For details, read on.

• Over the Hedge: It's amazing how many reviews specifically mentioned the good voice casting -- who knew film critics were sitting around, just wishing that someone would cast Nick Nolte as the voice of a lion? Whether they dream of a leonine Nolte or not, most of the critics were fans of this one. While the majority went out of their ways to caution that the movie was no Finding Nemo or Wallace & Gromit, they got a kick out of it, and enjoyed the film's slightly edgy humor.

• The Da Vinci Code: Contrary to what you might expect, the world is not full of reviews that scream "I HATED IT!" or "ZERO DAMN STARS FOR YOU, OPIE!" Instead, there are just a whole lot of people who, like Kim, were troubled by the film's endless exposition (borne, in part, of its extreme fidelity to Dan Brown's novel), something that most agreed caused it to drag even more than the 150-minute running time would suggest. As a result, critics were bored, and seem to find the film average at best. If you want to read a rave, though, there is at least one: Look for quotes from Lou Lumenick of the New York Post to show up on Da Vinci Code posters in a few days.

And, though See No Evil wasn't officially shown to critics, Scott, our resident horror freak, managed to smooth-talk his way into a screening. Unfortunately for him (since he'll never get that time back), he found the movie to be "a shamelessly derivative and helplessly inept piece of genre flotsam." Not to put too fine a point on it, or anything.

I've never been a big fan of what's known as "professional wrestling," so please forgive me if I don't greet the big-screen debut of a rassler called Kane with much enthusiasm. I am, however, a pretty staunch supporter of the horror genre, so I did hold out some hope that WWE Films could cobble together a half-decent slasher flick. To say that that hope was misguided is an understatement on par with "Michael Jackson is mildly creepy."

WWE's debut effort (and I use the word "effort" charitably) is called See No Evil, a shamelessly derivative and helplessly inept piece of genre flotsam that rips off everything from Friday the 13th to Saw 2 -- and does so in only the most tiresome and unremarkable fashion imaginable. This flick sounds like it was written by a mommy-hating nine-year-old who just discovered the joys of pointless profanity, looks like it was shot inside of an abandoned Motel 6, and feels precisely like the cynical, careless, and flimsy piece of plagiarism it so obviously is. While some horror flicks use their gritty, grungy exteriors to set a mood and create some tension, See No Evil is more than content to wander around its unconvincing soundstage, doling out nothing but atrocious acting and/or writing, desperately hoping that a small contingent of slasher supporters and wrestling aficionados will care enough to see what the thing has to offer. (Which ain't much.)

Did any of you know that there is such a thing as World Wresting Entertainment Films?! And that they've already got one movie in the can, and two others in the works? Christ, I had NO idea. As created by WWE overlord Vince McMahon, WWE Films have the stated purpose of creating vehicles for WWE wrestlers (oddly, they had nothing to do with Blade: Trinity, which starred a guy named Triple H), and will fully finance all projects as long as distribution is arranged before production begins.

Their first effort, a horror film called See No Evil, is due out May 19 and stars a large man called Kane; it's being distributed by Lionsgate, which also just agreed to handle WWE Film's newest project, The Condemned. Scheduled to begin shooting in a couple of weeks, the movie is another in the legion of titles that work off the Most Dangerous Game/Running Man evil-guy-hunting-humans riff. This one stars Steve Austin as a Stone Cold death row inmate who is "'purchased' by a wealthy TV producer, who pits him and nine other condemned men in a battle to the death." Vinnie Jones (soccer player, not wrestler) also stars, hopefully as the evil producer.

This is all The Rock's fault, isn't it?

Stephen Gaghan's screenplay for Syriana was based on a combination of independent research and Robert Baer's memoir, See No Evil: The True Story of a Ground Soldier in the CIA's War on Terrorism. In Gaghan's mind (as well as those the Writers Guild of America, who nominated the film in the adapted category, and of the folks at USC, who give out their Scripter award to the year's best adapted screenplay), his work relied on Baer's book enough to render it an adaptation, and Baer received screen credit. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, however, thinks otherwise, and has listed Syriana as an original screenplay on its ballots. Though the decision to make the switch was reportedly made last month, no one bothered to tell Gaghan, who's a little nonplussed. "I'm in shock," he said. "I have no idea how they make these decisions."

Why is it so hard for us to confront our problems? Are we lazy? Do we not have the time? Is it easier to run away from a situation and create larger problems, then it is to face the music? And what's so bad about music? When I was younger, in times of moronic behavior, my parents would always tell me to just "face the music." Instead of agreeing with them, I'd stand there with a puss on my face, expecting Mom to shovel out a boom-box and blast German techno music into my ears until, eventually, I caved.

Nothing against German techno, but that was my idea of bad music. So, in order for my problems to drift away, I figured I'd have to face this music until something clicked...or hurt - like my ears. And then it hit me: As hard as it was to listen to obnoxiously loud German techno music, it was much easier to get it out of the way fast (like ripping off a band-aid) then it was to avoid. Why let this uncomfortable anger towards German techno music ruin my entire day? They have a right to express themselves. And so do I.

While the above probably makes no sense whatsoever, so does avoiding your problems. So, while I call up the Lifetime Channel and pitch them "How I Learned to be a Better Person by Listening to German Techno Music," why don't you check out the following films. Put the suicide note down, we're running from our problems on this week's Trailer Park...