SpyKids Tagged Articles at Cinematical

I'm spoiled. As a kid, I woke up with Beanie and Cecil and Rocky and Bullwinkle, gobbled down Looney Tunes, Merry Melodies, Speed Racer and Gigantor after school, and passed the early evening hours with The Flintstones and The Jetsons. Even as an uneducated child, I knew the ones with replay value and the ones that quickly grew tiresome. As an adult, I know the ones that still hold up and the ones that make me embarrassed to admit I ever watched them.

That brings me in a roundabout way to Robert Rodriguez' new, live-action film Shorts. Funny, inventive, and very, very clever in micro-bursts of six to eight seconds, Shorts becomes tiresome over the length of its 89-minute running time. I couldn't shake the feeling that it would have been better-suited as a weekly television show, chopped up into brief segments with plenty of commercial breaks in between. Shorts could just as easily have been called "Six Short Sketches in Search of a Synopsis," but then the title would be longer than its attention span.

Aimed squarely at kids, Shorts may, perhaps, please the modern sensibility of today's sub-teens, but I suspect the well has run dry for Rodriguez and family films. The Spy Kids franchise devolved in entertainment value from the first installment to the third, and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl was an unfortunate mess. Rodriguez has built a cottage industry based on a scattershot approach to filmmaking. He's always been a "shoot [film] first, ask [narrative] questions later" kind of director / writer / photographer / editor / composer / visual effects artist. That doesn't serve him well with Shorts.

It's not easy reconciling the two sides of Robert Rodriguez. One likes to make pseudo-schlock flicks with machine-gun-leg chicks, and the other likes to make kids movies -- not exactly an expected transition is it? Latino Review has posted a script review for Rodriguez's latest kiddie romp, Shorts. So let's get right to the point, shall we? Review's scooper liked what he saw. Sure there were some complaints, and we'll get to those in a moment, but overall it's a solid thumbs up.

Shorts is the story of Toe Jackson, a young boy in a Texas subdivision who narrates four stories set in the heart of the suburban neighborhood. Now for the bad news. According to the review, the script is a little heavy on the "fart jokes" -- also, it may be a little too focused on the boys. This is a shame considering what a great young female character Rodriguez created in Spy Kids. Then again, he also managed to make a list of the most misogynistic flicks, but I digress. The reviewer also had some complaints about character names, because the script is loaded with cutesy ones like Loogie and Nose.

It's likely that most of Rodriguez's fans are focused squarely on the long awaited sequel to Sin City, not to mention those of you out there hankering for a full-length Machete feature, so Shorts probably won't be high on your list of priorities. If, however, you've got some rug rats at home, then you might want to get used to the idea of seeing this movie in theaters. Shorts is tentatively scheduled for release in 2009.

Once upon a time, back when I started out this line of work, it was my aim to see every movie ever made. Then came the VHS player. Once the direct-to-video market began, numerous filmmakers stopped thinking of the pleasures and rigors of making films for the big screen. Instead, they started thinking of a quick payoff. VHS financed the rise of the indie movie for good (or often, ill). It all added up to a huge increase in the number of films released. Eventually, I realized if I wanted to do some ordinary things--hoisting an ale, listening to music, reading a book--I was going to have to let a few films slide. Coming attractions have been a huge help in picking which ones to avoid, particularly the ones that reveal every single plot point and the most likely resolution of the problem. So how can I really do a worst of 2007 list? I ducked a lot of contenders. Underdog, for instance.

I missed P.U., I Hate You, as those slashing wits at Cracked magazine will be calling it, but I really felt James Rocchi's personal agony at witnessing the last of Hilary Swank's trio of evil movies this year. Though some would call it a duo; some people fell for Freedom Writers. Maybe this kind of story can be told without Room 222-levels of obviousness and manipulation...perhaps from the POV of one of the students, instead of the earnest white teacher? I'm not going to get any prizes for prescience by saying Swank's agent needs to be renditioned to some country with deep dark dungeons. Swank's Lost Year has already been celebrated elsewhere.

But The Reaping (#1) was the worst of the three; no one wants to see this actress's career reaped anymore. The low-water mark of this swamps-of-blood Christian thriller was the scene where Swank is told by a yokel, "Some people just don't want to go to heaven." Meaning her, and the atheists, agnostics, and Odin-worshippers in the audience.