StephenSommers Tagged Articles at Cinematical

It's no secret around these parts that G.I. Joe is -- how shall we say ... the one-legged monkey of this summer's crop of movies. Already the butt of lots of jokes online and off, G.I. Joe and its small amount of marketing materials (including a trailer or two and 578 character posters) haven't exactly impressed more than four people (and some suggest those four people don't even really exist). Now I really hate to crap on a film before it hits theaters because a lot of people worked hard to make the thing and a whole ton of money was spent in the process, but the news just doesn't seem to get better when it comes to the live-action G.I. Joe adaptation no one really asked for.

The latest comes from a message board poster over at producer (and Cinematical's number one fan) Don Murphy's site. Latino Review found the post, which goes into lots of detail regarding G.I. Joe director Stephen Sommers and how he was canned and replaced with a "fixer" director after the film tested poorly. Normally a message board poster wouldn't be the greatest source for a story like this, but LR did some checking with people and say it's the truth. Of course Paramount will try to deny there's anything going on here (which kinda reminds me of all the hoopla surrounding Lexi Alexander on Punisher: War Zone), but if it is indeed true, then it kinda looks like Cobra is going to fall before they get to rise.

But give it two years for the bad taste to go away, and I'm sure someone will try to reboot the franchise. Read the detailed message board post after the jump. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra hits theaters on August 7.

UPDATE: Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura spoke to Latino Review and claims there's no truth whatsoever to this story. Read his response over here.

The cacophonous Super Bowl spot for Transformers 2 made me think -- not for the first time -- that Michael Bay is full of crap. There are plenty of directors who make stupid and expensive action blockbusters, but few who are so damned self-righteous about it. It seems that every interview with the man contains a response to his naysayers to the tune of: "I don't see anything wrong with spending a lot of money to make big action movies to entertain people. Yet somehow, I come under special scrutiny. I mean, why don't people get upset if Dow spends $300 million to invent some new chemical? Audiences like popcorn movies. What's wrong with that?" and "What we do is not brain surgery. We are entertainers, plain and simple, and we're responsible to bring that money back, to make a profit."

As a response to the criticism that his movies aren't very good, this is, of course, complete nonsense. There are people who make very commercial, very popular Hollywood films who don't have to resort to the "I'm just making popcorn movies" defense -- which, as Eric D. Snider pointed out to me, is another way of saying "I'm not making very good movies." Google Sam Raimi, and you'll get quotes about the power of great stories, and his love for his source material. Even Stephen Sommers, who has certainly made some reviled films, talks about his enthusiasm and inspiration; you can sense he's trying. From Bay, you get: "I'm an entertainer -- don't hold me to any standard."

There's an interesting trend going on in film right now -- everyone is grabbing up classic characters of pulp and adventure literature right and left. We've got Conan, Sherlock Holmes, John Carter, and now Tarzan. There's a sociological study in here for an aspiring student.

Tarzan has seen many a reboot, and there's always whispers of someone wanting to make a new version. This current project has been floating around since 2003 (the same year Warner Bros tried to bring Tarzan to television and the modern city), and once boasted Guillermo del Toro's name. Now, according to Variety, it has landed in the hands of Stephen Sommers, who is cowriting a script with Stuart Beattie. Beattie boasts some impressive credits, like Pirates of the Caribbean and Collateral, so the Lord of the Apes might be in quite capable hands.

But Sommers' movies tend to fall a bit short of expectation, to put it kindly. And I mean it kindly, from someone who does actually own Van Helsing -- I could write a long defense as to why, but it really just comes down to liking Hugh Jackman and David Wenham a lot. But, in my defense, I reportedly audibly booed the ending when I saw it at the theater, though I can't remember if it was because they so visibly CGI'd pants on a naked post-werewolf Jackman, or the floating head of Kate Beckinsale. I think it was the floating head, but knowing me, it may have been the pants.

So, while I want to think about how cool a new Tarzan movie could be, what hot dude they'll put in a loincloth, how feisty Jane will be, I can't. Because I'm picturing the whole thing saddled with the same CGI Sommers has used since The Mummy, a jungle peppered with apes that can stretch their jaws for miles. Am I wrong, readers?

Fair warning: This is a slight, trivial, and practically meaningless piece of upcoming movie news -- but it touches on three things we love here at Cinematical: Action movies based on cartoons based on ancient marketing campaigns, horny directors, and fake breasts. Here we go:

According to SFGate's Hot Dish blog, sexy actress Sienna Miller was forced to wear fake hooters so as to accentuate her cleavage in the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. Ms. Miller will be playing The Baroness, and apparently her god-given boobies were not adequate in the eyes of director Stephen Sommers. ("'I'm gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs," is what the director told her. Strange comment from a guy whose leading ladies have been Famke Janssen, Rachel Weisz, and Kate Beckinsale, three gorgeous women who aren't exactly D-cups.)

Ms. Miller notes that she was "mildly offended" by the breast issue, and I'm kind of surprised that the topic didn't come up before her first costume fitting, but hey ... The Baroness is pretty stacked. Perhaps Mr. Sommers is just trying to remain faithful to the source material -- or yeah, maybe he just likes big boobs. Lord knows the target demographic for G.I. Joe loves boobs. Check out images of Sienna as The Baroness in the gallery below.

...after the jump: more pics!

I do believe Ray Park is the first G.I. Joe actor to speak on the new movie -- which fits, as he's the first character the studio allowed us to see. Park gave a big interview to Geekscape! where he discussed Joe, Snake Eyes, Iron Fist, and the finer points of stunts and martial arts.

Park was determined to snag the role of Snake Eyes for himself. "One of the reasons I always wanted to play Snake Eyes is because I played as him when I was a kid. Star Wars fans and the fans I've met at conventions have said 'You'd be the best Snake Eyes ever if they did a GI Joe movie!' So when I heard they were actually going to do it I did everything possible to try and get in a meeting or try and get an audition cause I wanted to do it for myself, I wanted to do it for the fans and I wanted to do it for my cousins and all my nephews and my kids. It's great to be here and to be able to tell those stories."

It is a regular Stephen Sommers reunion on G.I. Joe. Latino Review reports that Brendan Fraser has been cast as Gung Ho, the Cajun gunnery sergeant. But don't get too excited to see Fraser sporting that Village People outfit -- word has it that it's a cameo. He's already finished filming his scene, a training sequence at The Pit.

LR says an offer has also been made to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson to play Hector Delgado, aka Shipwreck. He hasn't yet accepted, but what red-blooded male is going to turn down a role in G.I. Joe? Despite the difference in ethnicities, the Rock would be a good fit for the popular character -- and he has the right humor to have a pet parrot making wisecracks at him.

You know, as I type this, it occurs to me that for most people, The Rock is probably a bigger name than Fraser these days. I think the latter is on the way to a comeback -- but will he actually stay working this time, or vanish off into the private life again? Perhaps he won't have a choice, the Gung Ho costume may force him into seclusion. As we wait for the Rock to commit, let's speculate on which Sommers veteran we will see next. I think Rachel Weisz is a no go, but surely someone from Van Helsing should appear before too long. What's Richard Roxburgh up to? They better nab him soon, G.I. Joe opens August 7th, 2009.

If you were hankering for more details about the big-screen G.I. Joe, then today is your lucky day, because Hasbro's Brian Goldner is feeling chatty. MTV news spoke with G.I. Joe's executive producer and managed to score some important details about the feature film. Goldner is chief operating officer at Hasbro, and was responsible for releasing Joe back in the 80's to millions of military-minded children everywhere.

First up -- what the filmmakers have in store for main bad guy, Cobra Commander. According to Goldner: "In effect, this is all about the rise of Cobra Commander. ... For fans, they're really going to love this, because we take them on a journey. ... We have to go through the first chapter and then build from there." Rumors currently have Joseph Gordon-Levitt taking over the role of Cobra, but that has yet to be confirmed.

But it's not just about the bad-guys. Goldner also hinted about some new back-story on some of the more familiar characters, including Baroness (played by Sienna Miller) and Destro (Christopher Eccleston). As for the 'rah-rah military' tone of earlier incarnations of Joe, Goldner says that while the original feel, will still be there, we shouldn't start looking for any metaphors about global politics or foreign policy. According to Goldner: "Clearly, the American military is involved, as are other forces. But at the end of the day, the force that matters is the G.I. Joe force, and the Pit, and all the things that relate to that."

Now, what would a G.I. Joe movie be without the toy tie in? Goldner confirmed that Hasbro will revive the 3 and 3/4 inch figures from the 80's. "[That size] gives people a chance to get all the figures but get all of the vehicles. So it's going to be in that scale. ... Very true to where we were in the 1980s, and then we'll take it forward" -- gee I can't wait for my Marlon Wayans figure with kung-fu grip. G.I. Joe is set for release on August 7th, 2009.

Like most people, when news broke that English party girl Sienna Miller had signed to star in Stephen Sommers' big-screen G.I. Joe flick, I was a little surprised at the choice. Usually, when you think female action stars, Miller probably would not be at the top of the list. Luckily, she seems to be taking the part seriously, and in between champagne cocktails at a pre-BAFTA bash, gave the gossip wags at The Sun a little sneak peak into her preparations to play the infamous Baroness. Miller told the press that, "I've started taking boxing lessons, and I've also had to learn how to fire guns with live ammunition. I'm a baddie, running around kicking everyone while wearing tight, thigh-high boots...I'm getting muscles everywhere."

The official synopsis for the film reads: "From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite co-ed GI JOE team, based from its headquarters The Pit, deploys the latest in next-gen spy and military equipment to fight crooked arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious COBRA organization from plunging the world into chaos." In the original Joe stories, Baroness was COBRA Organization's intelligence officer. Serving as a lieutenant to Cobra Commander, Baroness was a dark femme fatale type. In both the comics and the cartoons, she had a romantic relationship with Destro. I guess now that a fellow countryman has been cast as Destro, Sommers might be looking to include the romantic sub-plot.

My goodness, it seems like everywhere you turn somebody else is signing up for the big-screen adaptation of G.I. Joe. Variety reports that Dennis Quaid has now signed to star as General Hawk. You know, your typical 'grizzled' military man. He's probably going to have a cigar chomped in his teeth for three-quarters of the film. The news came on the heels of official word that Channing Tatum had been hired to play Duke; the second in command of the elite team with 'kung-fu grip'. Yesterday, Erik had also reported that Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy) will be playing Zartan, but so far there is no official word.

It looks like Quaid is technically one of the biggest name stars in the cast, which includes Marlon Wayans as Ripcord and Sienna Miller as The Baroness. Some of the other 'Joe' characters who will be making an appearance are Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who will play Heavy Duty, Byung-hun Lee as Storm shadow, Ray Park as Snake Eyes, and Said Taghmaoui as Breaker.

So far, there aren't many details about the plot, but what we do know is that Stuart Beattie's script will focus on "A European-based military unit known as Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.), a hi-tech, international force of special operatives that takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer". There are still a few more spots to fill, but it looks like director Stephen Sommers has almost finished assembling his team. Just in time too, since the film is scheduled to start shooting next month. G.I. Joe is scheduled for release on August 7th, 2009.

UPDATE: IESB now says that David Murray (a theater actor, apparently) has landed the role of Destro in G.I. Joe. Destro is the main villain in the film, and is described as the "faceless power behind Military Armaments Research System, the largest manufacturer of state-of-the-art weaponry."