StevenSeagal Tagged Articles at Cinematical

The Machete casting news is official. Buried in a longer article, Variety has listed the final cast list for the feature-length adaptation of Danny Trejo's man with the knives. Almost all the rumors are correct, with the exception of Jonah Hill. The roster: Trejo, of course, plus Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, and Jeff Fahey.

Strange? Yes. Surprising? Yes. Perfect? I don't know. Now don't get me wrong -- you could fill the film with tween celebs and I'd still head out to see it as long as Danny Trejo was the star. Yet while I usually love big casting twists, this one isn't invoking a reaction either way. It's not due to disinterest, as I've been dying for this to become a reality for a long time -- from rumors of a DVD spin-off, to big-screen potential, to love of Machete as a gun-toter, to silly fangirl hopes from a fake poster.

Woohoo, let's check one horror remake off the list for 2009! Yes, I was fortunate enough to experience the 3-D splatteriness of My Bloody Valentine at the jam-packed BNAT 10 last weekend -- and while I was equal parts skeptical and intrigued, I'm pleased to opine that this is one fun little gore-fest. Feel free to check out my review at FEARnet and / or Devin's over at CHUD for some specific thoughts. (Big fan of the original Valentine? Then check out this interview re: the new DVD!) Oh, and here's the newest teaser trailer:



Hmm, what else happened while I was down in Austin? Ah yes, Rob Zombie was officially locked in to directing Halloween 2, which excites me in the same way that would Uwe Boll directing a remake of The Thing. With all due respect to Robby Z. and his legions of fans ... I just hate his movies. Despite actively trying to enjoy each flick (more than once!), each one feels like a sweaty barbecue with the world's most disgusting inbreds. Not scary, just ugly and unpleasant. And since Halloween 2 holds a strange little place in my heart, I think I'll just forget about this project until it hits the screens this October.

Hey cool: Looks like that geek-friendly Outlander flick is finally touching down on January 23. Sounds good. Also in January? Sundance and Slamdance! My red-penciled genre flicks are as follows: Dead Snow, Grace, The Killing Room, and Moon (from Sundance), plus Conjurer, I Sell the Dead, Mum & Dad, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead, and Zombie Girl: The Movie (from Slamdance). Oh, and all the dramas and comedies and such...

True or False: There is such a thing as too many Bruce Campbell interviews. (Answer: False.) And Happy Horrodays! Here's a list of cinema's ten scariest Santas! Last and probably least: Anyone out there want to see Steven Seagal as a vampire slayer? This might cure you.

When Cinematical was asked to debut a set of exclusive stills from the new movie Kill Switch, all we needed to hear were two words: Steven Seagal. There could be 13 images of Seagal in the bathroom and we'd still post them! But fear not you Cinematical addicts, the images featured in the gallery below do not include any spectacular toilet shots ... but they do include Steven Seagal doing what he does best: kicking bad guy ass. Also pictured is Isaac Hayes in his second to last performance.

So what are we looking at here? Well, Kill Switch hits DVD on October 7th, and the film follows homicide detective Jacob King, who, following the murder of his twin brother, takes the law into his own hands and attempts to track down two ruthless serial killers. Come October 7th, you bet your ass I'll be hosting a Seagal triple feature ... and those who want an invite will have to bring Italian food and wear a leather trenchcoat. Who's with me? Show of hands ...

Check out our awesome exclusive gallery below ...

Think back to a simpler time in America when the films of Steven Seagal were box office hits. Some of you young'uns might not be able to fathom such a thing, but it's true. What happened? Why is he now stuck doing direct-to-DVD films with titles like Belly of the Beast and Flight of Fury? Some would say it's because he's made so many genuinely awful movies, but Seagal claims the cause for his decline goes much higher up.

Yahoo is reporting on a Los Angeles Times story that finds Seagal blaming the Federal Bureau of Investigation for his career slump. The FBI investigated Seagal because of his ties to former private detective Anthony Pellicano. Many Hollywood types worked with Pellicano, who was investigated starting in 2002 and is now in federal prison awaiting trial on wire-tapping and other charges.

"False FBI accusations fueled thousands of articles saying that I terrorize journalists and associate with the Mafia," Seagal told the Los Angeles Times. "These kinds of inflammatory allegations scare studio heads and independent producers -- and kill careers." Seagal has never been charged or accused of being involved in the incident that led to Pellicano's arrest, and he is demanding that the FBI publicly clear his name.

A spokeswoman for the FBI wouldn't comment, "because of the ongoing nature of the investigation." The U.S. Attorney's Office won't talk either, as the office "does not comment on talks it has with attorneys representing defendants, investigation targets or witnesses." In the meantime, Seagal will continue to make movies, and he'll make his triumphant return to the director's chair with Prince of Pistols. It will be his first time directing since 1994's On Deadly Ground, which co-starred Michael Caine(!). Can you believe that at one time Michael Caine was taking acting guidance from Steven Seagal? If you want the full Seagal experience, don't hesitate to check out his albums, Songs from the Crystal Cave and Mojo Priest (which includes a song called "Talk to My Ass"). I'm not making this up.

Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal were the kings of low-budget, B-action in the 80s, but only Seagal was the king of Three. Word. Titles. He was Above the Law, Marked for Death and Out for Justice. The longer his reign went on, though, the more eager people became to see him fall. I've never seen moviegoers go as nuts in the middle of a movie as they did when Seagal met his fate in Executive Decision -- it brought the house down with thundering applause and cheers. According to a new article on the man with the moves, Seagal isn't any happier about the state of his career than we are. In fact, the poor action star feels exploited and frustrated by his producers' continual insistence on keeping his films 'simple'. Seagal just wants some complexity!

He's so unhappy that he's disregarding the whole process of talking up his films and is instead badmouthing his current film, Once Upon a Time in the Hood. You see, according to Seagal, this direct-to-DVD thriller is without the 'spirituality' that guides the reincarnated Buddhist Lama in real life. AICN's Sasha asked the star if he was under contract with Sony Home Entertainment, and his response was: "not after this." It seems all that is keeping the aging martial artist ticking is his music. He's supposedly worked with the likes of Wyclef Jean, Bo Diddley and Kris Kristofferson on certain projects, and we can only hope that one day we'll see him on-screen as a struggling musician who finds himself in a dangerous situation that allows him to supplement his vocal stylings with a little bit of ass-kicking.