For ages now, Jake Gyllenhaal has been the superhero understudy who never gets called to the stage. Actor, after actor, after actor gets picked for the tights and hero lifestyle while his interest in the theme goes nowhere. From Shazam to Spider-Man, he's always been a possibility, but never a real contender who gets to save the world -- which is funny since he's found so much success in civilian clothes. Now it looks like the closest thing to a superhero we'll get from the actor is his strange, yet undeniably endearing Bubble Boy.

Jake talked with MTV recently about the tights, the capes, and keeping the world safe from villains. He said: "I have definitely wanted to play superheroes in the past. I've definitely been into [playing a comic-book character] but, for one reason or another, it hasn't ever worked out." So far, so good. He's had interest, but it doesn't work out. How does he appease himself? "I think of how a character, in reality, is like a superhero -- rather than actually being a superhero." So now his sights are turned to heroes who don't wear tights, and who don't come from the colorful pages of comic books; he wants something a little more real: "I'd love to play a really cool character like Jason Bourne, not necessarily a superhero, but definitely a cool character that does great, fun [real-world] action."

He still doesn't sound against the idea, but Gyllenhaal has definitely moved on from the dream. Perhaps it's for the best. Superhero flicks can be tricky, and I'm sure the last thing he wants is to get stuck in a stinker. If, through all of this, you're still holding out hope for him to take Spider-Man, he says: "No, it's been well done already." Then again, Spidey was only supposed to hit the screen 3 times, so news can always change. What would you rather see him doing? Action flicks, or superheroes?

In the vein of everyone having an opinion, many of which don't agree, The Guardian's film blog has a piece about superheroes -vs- talented actors. The spin -- the actors who are taking on the roles of comic icons are being fooled into doing so: "What seems to be happening is that the actors themselves are being duped into thinking that these are roles of Shakespearean complexity." Is that the case? The piece mentions George Clooney's less-than-loved Batman and Robin and Halle Berry's terrible stint as Catwoman. If either of them took on the roles thinking they were getting a meaty, complex story, they should probably get their heads examined.

The blog goes on to talk about the increase of suffering and torment in superhero roles, and that the ones who are truly successful don't take themselves seriously -- Spider-Man, Wolverine. Wait ... Hugh Jackman? His role isn't the darkest thing out there, but the character definitely has his share of angst. Considering the built-up aversion to dark superheroes, it's no surprise that the piece then goes on to describe Batman Begins as "a po-faced, dark (in every sense) and confusing two hours in the company of a man with the lowest voice and most clenched jaw in Gotham city." Sure, if Spidey had to fall into the depths of despair, that would be strange, but can you fault Batman for being dark? Isn't it supposed to be? It's based on an orphan who wants revenge. That's not light and happy fare, even if the television version made it that way.

What do you think? Are some superheroes failing because the actors are taking the roles too seriously? Did Eric Bana's green, fighting fiend fail because he made it too awkward and real life? Is Batman Begins not half as good as we've all said it is? Does suffering make superheroes smaller?

They say Hollywood's the dream factory. In Confessions of a Superhero, director Matt Ogdens shows us some of the sweepings off the factory floor. In quick order, we're introduced to four would-be actors -- Christopher Dennis, Maxwell Allen, Jennifer Gerht and Joe McQueen -- who make a living between auditions and rare acting jobs by dressing as superheroes and posing with the tourists outside Graumann's Chinese Theater. It's a tightrope of a gig -- they have to stay on the public sidewalk outside of Graumann's, they can't ask for tips, they're on their own for supplies and support -- and as they suit up as Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Hulk, their borrowed personas seem to press them down even as they raise them out from the crowd. Confessions of a Superhero finds delight and depression in the details -- Dennis over-spraying Superman's distinctive forelock, or how Gerht's Wonder Woman belt is held on by paperclips.

It also actually sits down with all the participants and takes them seriously -- just as seriously as they take themselves, which can be very much so indeed -- and asks each of them how they got in front of Graumann's, and where they'd rather be. There's a host of legal issues at play in Confessions of a Superhero -- the limits of free assembly, the nature of copyright -- but those don't get dwelled on; instead, we see the ups and downs of our not-so-fantastic foursome's work. We see Joe McQueen demolished by the heat inside his colossal Hulk costume -- on a record 106-degree day, it's a brutal 130 degrees inside the emerald-tinged mass of foam Joe straps on for work. We also see the curious aspects of making yourself into a public image -- when Dennis poses with one young woman for a photo, the camera gently drifts down to reveal that she is, in fact (and there's no other way to say this) cupping Superman's junk.

It really is good we have such competent, talented and knowledgeable writers here at Cinematical to provide you with all manner of insightful movie industry commentary -- because you sure won't get it in this column. Every now and then I let myself slip and actually produce a piece filled with meaningful dialog, but typically you just get a strange, rambling foray into what I loosely claim to call my mind.

If you enjoy high caliber, industry professional work, I suggest you try out the likes of Martha Fischer, Kim Voynar and the ever-popular James Rocchi. If you, like me, have trouble keeping your mind focused on meaningful things, I suggest you join my on today's flight of fancy. I'm not going to bother explaining how this concept gestated in my tiny brain, I'll just jump right in. Today's Geek Beat explores the results of crossing America's current summer movie trend -- superhero flicks -- with America's traditional summer pastime -- baseball. Now I'm probably journeying into difficult territory here, crossing a jock topic with a geek topic, but stay with me. Without further ado, The Geek Beat Presents: Marvel's All-Star Baseball Teams!

Note: This IS a movie website, and I am discussing summer superhero flicks, so the teams will be comprised only of those Marvel figures who have appeared in Marvel movies. Otherwise, we'd be looking at a whole different ballgame. Ha-ha-ha.

Odds and ends from Friday/Saturday:

• Make-up maven Stan Winston and his production company are now gearing up for their latest: Producing the horror mystery The Deaths of Ian. Pic, which will star Mike Vogel and be directed by Dario Di Piana, has a sort of Groundhog Day feel to it. Well, that's if you replace the silliness of Bill Murray with the scariness of Stan Winston, of course. Story will tell of an all American guy who is murdered, only to wake up again and find that, with each new day, comes a new kind of death.
• Now that the Dane Cook laffer Good Luck Chuck is finally on its way into production courtesy of Lionsgate, Variety reports that Jessica Alba has snagged the lead female role and will star opposite everyone's favorite comedian. Dane Cook and Jessica Alba? In love? Seems like the perfect match -- ya know, if either of them were actually good at acting. Pic will revolve around a serial dater who feels comfortable in the role of next-to-last-boyfriend-before-soulmate. However, when he actually falls in love with one of the girls (Alba), he must do everything to keep her from leaving him for a future husband.
• Since it's the weekend, I figured I would end things off with a funny, yet awfully moronic clip from YouTube. In it, some amateur actors dress up as some of your favorite superheroes to re-create the famous homo-erotic volleyball scene from Top Gun. Seeing as everyone has been obsessed with the notion that Superman may or may not be gay as of late, why not take the topic to a new level and really have fun with it? Enjoy the weekend folks!

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