TheNumber23 Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Tattoos in the movies have a storied history, from the simple, classic LOVE/HATE knuckle tattoos in The Night of the Hunter to the slick and sexy additions to Angelina Jolie's existing body art in last summer's Wanted. Recent movies like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Eastern Promises have used tattoos to great effect; in Button, Captain Mike's homemade tattoos both referred to his life on the sea as a sailor, which in that era was the most visible tattoo population, and his own father's discouragement of his hopes of becoming an artist. Instead, he brings his art with him everywhere he goes. And Eastern Promises based its tattoos (hello, Viggo in his undies sipping a shot of vodka getting tattooed) on the heavily researched Russian tattoos and their different signifiers in the gangster underworld.

Unfortunately, most recent movies have the tendency to slap some crappy tribal on a character to make him or her seem more bad-ass, which, given the context of tattoos in the movies, is kind of understandable. But what's not is just how freaking terrible they are! Here are my personal picks of the worst ink spilled onscreen, plus a bonus mention for the most gorgeous tattoos in a movie, both in design and story use.

Once upon a time, back when I started out this line of work, it was my aim to see every movie ever made. Then came the VHS player. Once the direct-to-video market began, numerous filmmakers stopped thinking of the pleasures and rigors of making films for the big screen. Instead, they started thinking of a quick payoff. VHS financed the rise of the indie movie for good (or often, ill). It all added up to a huge increase in the number of films released. Eventually, I realized if I wanted to do some ordinary things--hoisting an ale, listening to music, reading a book--I was going to have to let a few films slide. Coming attractions have been a huge help in picking which ones to avoid, particularly the ones that reveal every single plot point and the most likely resolution of the problem. So how can I really do a worst of 2007 list? I ducked a lot of contenders. Underdog, for instance.

I missed P.U., I Hate You, as those slashing wits at Cracked magazine will be calling it, but I really felt James Rocchi's personal agony at witnessing the last of Hilary Swank's trio of evil movies this year. Though some would call it a duo; some people fell for Freedom Writers. Maybe this kind of story can be told without Room 222-levels of obviousness and manipulation...perhaps from the POV of one of the students, instead of the earnest white teacher? I'm not going to get any prizes for prescience by saying Swank's agent needs to be renditioned to some country with deep dark dungeons. Swank's Lost Year has already been celebrated elsewhere.

But The Reaping (#1) was the worst of the three; no one wants to see this actress's career reaped anymore. The low-water mark of this swamps-of-blood Christian thriller was the scene where Swank is told by a yokel, "Some people just don't want to go to heaven." Meaning her, and the atheists, agnostics, and Odin-worshippers in the audience.

Over at Cracked.com, they've made a list of the top ten worst twist endings of all time. Obviously that list has a lot of spoilers, but I'm going to attempt to write this post without revealing any of them. Why? To make sure you go over there, of course. So, if you're not worried about ruining the endings to some movies you probably shouldn't see anyway, then head over and read the hilariously confusing explanations, or attempts at explanations, and/or how some endings don't make enough sense to bother with explanations. I will let you in on the titles of the movies, just in case you are interested in seeing any of them in the future and would like to go in spoiler free. The ten, in order from "least asinine" to "most asinine", are: Stay (2005); High Tension (2003); Signs (2002); Hide and Seek (2005) and Secret Window (2004), which tie for #7, because they're considered the exact same plot (is that spoiling it for you guys? probably -- oh well, I tried); The Forgotten (2004); Basic (2003); Perfect Stranger (2007); The Number 23 (2007); Planet of the Apes (2001); and The Life of David Gale (2003).

I haven't seen the number one movie, but I can't imagine it's worse than the others that I have seen, especially Planet of the Apes. Basically, I think Cracked.com considers it the worst because it stars Kevin Spacey, who also starred in The Usual Suspects, which pretty much, along with The Sixth Sense, obviously, got Hollywood on this crappy twist kick to begin with (He was also in Se7en, which had another so-so twist ending). Look at those films; they all came out between 2001 and 2007. And what was the most common twist? The main character did it. Either he or she has a split personality, or amnesia, or suffers from some other psychological ailment. Other idiotic yet easily written twists include: aliens did it; it's all a dream (as if you need to steal from Bob Newhart, come on!); and, in the fashion of Suspects, it's all just made-up stories. Personally, I'm upset to not see my least favorite twist ending. It involved a whole crop of great actors who just so happened to be explained as existing inside the imagination of some mental patient. That one had the split personality plus the dream plus the Suspects idea that none of what we watched is real. Can you name it?

Summer's nearly over, school is about to begin and Hollywood is counting its money. Looking back, we could assume the studios made bundles this season; almost every weekend seemed to deliver a new record-breaking blockbuster. In order of enormity, there was Spider-Man 3, Shrek 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Transformers 1 (it will have sequels), Harry Potter 5, 300, Ratatouille and finally another threequel, Bourne 3 (which should gain on at least that numberless Pixar movie). According to Box Office Mojo, the grosses for 2007 are up 7.2% over last year, and 13.7% over 2005 (aka the year of the slump).

Now, normally about this time of year, we can also look back and see a number of disappointments, bombs and otherwise failed releases. In fact, Entertainment Weekly should be giving us its annual rundown (my favorite) any week now. But Business Week has already announced the biggest losers of the season: Evan Almighty and Stardust. And as dishonorable mentions, it points to The Invasion, Grindhouse, The Reaping and The Number 23. Of course, the latter three were released much earlier in the year, and shouldn't be counted -- they seem to be thrown in as other mistakes of the year in general.

Hope your Monday was a good one (but, really, aren't all Mondays super?). So, um, moviegoers went 'Hog' wild, eh? Or were 'Wild' for 'Hogs'? How many other obvious puns are there to make with that title? Too many to count, I'm sure. Or maybe not, considering that the flick made $38 million this weekend. Shew. It's official: Critics really have no relevance on box office take. I know there have been some preliminary reports to such effect, but I'm hereby making it official. And apologizing to the critics. There is one good thing we can say about Wild Hogs, though, and it's this: William H. Macy co-stars (coincidentally, one of the stars of our staff picks celeb crush gallery). Of course, I haven't seen this movie, and judging by the comments that Erik Davis' review received, I guess it's a crowd-pleaser (Moviefone's own Tommy DiChiara did have fun with the cast in Boston). And at least it made more than Norbit when that broad comedy (heh ... we said "broad") opened a few weeks back -- $33 million if you're keeping track -- so that's something. Here's what Patric ia predicted Friday:

1. Wild Hogs
2. Zodiac
3. Ghost Rider
4. Bridge to Terabithia
5. Black Snake Moan

And here's the actual weekend top five:

1. Wild Hogs - $38 million (!)
2. Zodiac - $13.1 million
3. Ghost Rider - $11.5 million
4. Bridge to Terabithia - $8.5 million
5. The Number 23 - $7 million

Get the full box-office report here.

Happy Oscar weekend, everybody! There's still time to finalize your Oscar picks -- if you need help, check out Moviefone's Oscar predictions (but don't blame us if you don't win, because free will is a powerful thing). And if you still haven't entered an Oscar pool, wander on over to our Movie Madness pick 'em game; judging by how good some of you box office predictors are, one of you is bound to win the 42-inch plasma TV. I can't win, because I'm not eligible, and no, I'm not bitter about that AT ALL. And now, on to the weekend's box office:

The Number 23: It's more than just Michael Jordan's number -- there's a whole school of thought surrounding 23, which apparently shows up everywhere if you know where to look: It's the number of chromosomes each parent contributes to a child's DNA, the number of times Julius Caesar was stabbed, etc. Jim Carrey stars as a guy who reads a thriller about the phenomenon and becomes obsessed with it, spending all his time not only imagining himself as the novel's protagonist and worrying he might be capable of murder, but also doing lots of math. Though it's certainly not your typical Carrey comedy, the man's always a big draw, and this seems like the film to give Ghost Rider a run for its money.
Get showtimes & tix | Watch the trailer | Count down Carrey's best

Reno 911!: Miami: The dunderheaded cops of Comedy Central's hit TV show (well, it's not about to rival American Idol, but it's a hit according to cable TV standards) storm the big screen in a comedy in which they have to save a convention center from terrorists. Jack Bauer they are not. I wasn't able to see this film, but my colleagues did, and they thought it was the bee's kneees. (Translation: hilarious.) It'll play well to young adults and teens, the same folks who made Borat -- which was also based on a cable TV show -- a success, so watch out. This may be the biggest thing to happen to Reno since the Great Reno Balloon Race.
Get showtimes & tix | Watch the trailer | Watch a clip

The Astronaut Farmer: Admit it, when you were a little kid, you wanted to be an astronaut -- because, as John Cusack points out in The Sure Thing, you get "all the Tang you can drink." In this feel-good film, Billy Bob Thornton plays a guy who never outgrew that dream; but when a crisis forces him to drop out of the Air Force, he starts building a rocket in his backyard. It's no lawn chair and balloons, but this crazy kid might be onto something. Astronaut Farmer is rated PG, and technically it's a family film, so in theory it should take some of Bridge to Terabithia's audience; but there hasn't been a ton of marketing for this film, and despite some positive reviews it may have a hard time taking off. (Sorry.)
Get showtimes & tix | Watch the trailer | See photos

Also Opening Wide: The Abandoned, a horror movie set on a remote farm in Russia. It could surprise, given that horror tends to do well; but there aren't any big names in this one, so I'm guessing it'll hover just under the top five.

Here we go. Earlier this week my colleague Tommy said I told him I planned to "dominate" this weekend, which I would like to say here and now is a total lie and a big, fat jinx. Thanks, man. So come all ye faithful box office predictors, it's all you this weekend. Deadline: Saturday at 2pm. And have fun watching the Oscars!

1. Ghost Rider
2. The Number 23
3. Bridge to Terabithia
4. Reno 911!: Miami
5. Norbit

POST: What's your weekend top five prediction?

POST: What do you think of these movies?

Back in November, Ryan managed to yank a couple of micro-details out of Melissa George about her upcoming vampire movie 30 Days of Night when he interviewed her. Also in November, I brought you word of a number of behind-the-scenes clips from the film, which is an adaptation of Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith's horror comics. Since then, a whole slew of new bits have been added and while no cast is shown in the clips, you can delight in some dismembered arms and prop blood. And now, courtesy of the people over at IESB, we get to hear a bit from one of the cast -- Danny Huston.

Huston is, of course, his usual smiling self. Seeing his lips always curled into a smile, you have to wonder if his cheeks are always hurting... Anyhow, after a brief discussion of the insidiousness of the number 23 (Huston co-stars with Carrey and Madsen in that upcoming thriller), they get to his stint as Marlow -- a "pre-Ice Age vampire" who finds humans to be insignificant food. If the thought of Josh Hartnett heading the picture scares you more than the idea of a month of darkness while being attacked by vampires, you may take comfort in the fact that Huston has nothing but praise for the film. He describes it as very well-written, visually stunning, shrewd and conceptually smart.

Huston told IESB: "I just loved trying to justify these incredibly evil actions -- and make them make sense to me." It will be interesting to see how he pulls it off. He brought depth to Nick Cave's Arthur Burns, adding a smirk to the devilishness of the outlaw, but only time will tell if the 'sense' he makes of the character leads it to camp or creep.