TonyCox Tagged Articles at Cinematical

"What fresh hell is this?"
-Dorothy Parker, reportedly as she cast her first glance upon a poster for Disaster Movie

Let's get this out of the way: Disaster Movie is indeed a disaster first, and a movie barely, pure pop culture pablum for da masses (say it aloud, there you go) as can only be expected from the likes of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. It's another opus that, despite opening titles done in the style of Armageddon's and a feeble thru-line borrowed from Cloverfield (mixed with some of The Day After Tomorrow), is as much a send-up of disaster-related films as Epic Movie was a spoof of actual epic movies.

It takes two minutes for the first crotch shot, four minutes for the first belch gag, thirty for someone to get breast milk on their face, forty-five for someone to get feces on their face, and about sixty for a record scratch to tell us that something peculiar just happened. In between, the characters relentlessly name-check movies and celebrities and websites and any other manner of the vaguely familiar, the bulk of which I've taken to listing below (because if you're still going to see this willingly, I still doubt that you care much for reading at all).

(As for the rest of you: You're welcome.)

With the release of Little Man, I was shocked to find no protests from little people. Is this movie not the worst representation of dwarfs in decades? Though I'm not sure if the actors playing Marlon Wayans' body are actual little people, it must be insulting that a real little person isn't playing the "vertically-challenged" character. Wasn't it bad enough that The Lord of the Rings trilogy didn't use dwarfs as hobbits? Basically Little Man backtracks the portrayal of little people and makes them out to be freaks once again.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to salute the little people in movies. They are in fact all over the big screen, mostly as stand-ins and stunt-doubles for children, but once in awhile they are really celebrated with prominent roles. These roles have decreased, though, since CGI replaced many creature characters so we have fewer little people dressed as Ewoks, robots and other sci-fi/fantasy inventions. I chose seven films I think are quite significant in the showcasing of individual little people. I've deliberately left out Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on account it obviously doesn't use actual little people, and I've also omitted The Wizard of Oz since there are no real standouts, only a lot of dressed-up extras.