We know that Val Kilmer is talented, whether it's morphing into icons like John Holmes or Jim Morrison, or voicing KITT, or being Bruce Wayne. But these days, Kilmer is all about the inspiration. There was talk recently of a collaboration with 50 Cent on some music, and now the actor has told MTV that he's the man behind Dr. Evil's Mini-Me -- not quite the news you'd expect to hear.

He explains: "[I was] the genesis of Mini-Me... [On] Island of Dr. Moreau, I told Marlon Brando my plan to save my performance just in case there was a giant hole in the second half. I was going to strap the little man to my chest. And, you know, you can't get around that visual. And then he [Brando] STOLE my little man!" So then he sees Vern Troyer on the big screen as Mini-Me, and "I asked Mike Myers about it myself. He said, 'absolutely.'" (That it came from the movie.)

So there you have it, folks. Val Kilmer is the reason that we now have Vern Troyer.

***NSFW WARNING: The F-bomb gets thrown around a bunch in this clip of "The End."***

There's an interesting rumor going around that Val Kilmer is teaming up with 50 Cent for a little music. According to Ace Showbiz, the actor stated in a recent interview that 50 Cent liked one of the songs he had written and said "I want to help." How much the pair (who recently worked on Microwave Park together) will collaborate on the tune remains to be seen, but it did get me thinking of old-school Kilmer.

Seventeen years ago, he pretty much morphed into Jim Morrison for Oliver Stone's take on The Doors. Above is a clip of Jim-Val singing "The End" and shocking everyone with his unabashed language. Aside from it being a great song, it's a good example of just how spot-on Kilmer was.

Last Rewind Answer: This time around, the majority got it right -- Jason Segel was the guy.

Finally. After God knows how many trailers, TV spots, viral sites, movie posters, merchandise, fan art, contests, Batman Anonymous meetings ("Hi, my name is Earth ... and I'm addicted to Batman), and an assortment of tomfoolery, The Dark Knight will officially arrive in theaters this Friday. And I've heard shows are already sold out through March 2011. Right on! That said, this might be the week you want to reflect back and read your favorite Batman comics, watch your favorite Batman movies, or spend some alone time with your favorite Batman.

Which brings us to this week's super awesome Monday Morning Poll: Who is your favorite Batman? For this we're sticking solely to folks who've played the Caped Crusader on the big screen. Since a lot of Bat-fans have come to adore Kevin Conroy's voice performance, we'll include both live action and animated versions. For me, it's a toss up between Christian Bale and Michael Keaton. Bale has the looks and the charm, but Keaton had that "insanity factor" -- one look in his eyes and you knew this guy had a few screws loose. Tough choice. Where do you stand?

Werner Herzog's Bad Lieutenant cast just became a whole lot crazier. Variety is reporting that Val Kilmer and Xzibit are joining Nicolas Cage and Eva Mendes in the much-maligned remake / re-imagining / re-something of Abel Ferrara's cult classic.

Kilmer will be playing Cage's police partner, presumably the straight arrow to complement Cage's cop-on-the-edge. This comes right on the heels of Kilmer being cast in Silver Cord, so I think it's safe to say someone's trying to make a comeback. (Am I the only one who laments the passing of years, and what it has done to one of my biggest crushes? Has it really been so long since The Saint?)

Xzibit, fresh off The X-Files: I Want to Believe, will be playing their nemesis, Big Fade.
Remember, folks, it's a re-imagining, which is why you don't remember any of these characters from the original.

If there aren't shockingly hilarious tales of egos and fistfights from the Lieutenant set, I'll be among the bitterly disappointed. While I suspect Kilmer has chilled with the passing of years, I'm thinking that combining him with Herzog is bound to be tempestuous. Is it too much to ask that Herzog just goes even further, and hires Sean Young and Gary Busey? Perhaps even Mike Myers? Throw the script out the window, and just film the production. I think it would be far more fun than any re-imagining.

When films turn personal, there are a myriad of ways they can turn out. One way I never thought of -- out of body experiences that need soul saving. Variety reports that Val Kilmer, Shane West, Cam Gigandet, Eric Balfour, and Arielle Kebbel have signed on for a film called Silver Cord. James Ordonez will direct the feature, which he wrote with Ken Gord, and relive some personal experiences.

As Variety describes it, the film "centers on Ordonez's brother who came back to life after being declared clinically dead on multiple occasions. The brother died in 2004." But the summary up on IMDb says a whole lot more, written by James himself: "The story of a young man who is separated from the love of his life. To find her he has an Out of Body Experience but the silver cord that connects his soul with his body breaks and he is believed to be dead. In a desperate race against time his friends have less than 24 hours to save his soul before his body is cremated."

It's not every day you get so-called true life stories about people leaving their body to find paramours and then losing their body and being declared dead. Since he'd been declared dead a number of times, I guess the dude had a penchant for out-of-body travel.

We've been warned about global warming. The weather is a-changing. The polar icecaps will melt away. The world as we know it will change forever. But maybe it's not for the reasons we think ... We've got a new cautionary environmental tale on the way, but this time, it's in the realms of thriller territory. The Thaw is coming -- where the melting of the polar ice caps releases something creepy.

And now The Hollywood Reporter posts that Aaron Ashmore has signed on for a gig in the film, which is already starring Martha MacIsaac and Val Kilmer. If you've watched Veronica Mars, you'll remember Aaron as the seemingly nice O-niner Troy Vandergraff, whose secrets made Veronica none too happy. (Or Jimmy Olsen, if you're a Smallville fan.) Now he's playing a college student who is part of an Arctic research crew besieged by a killer parasite that has come from the depths of the polar ice caps.

This ditty comes from the team behind Ill Fated, Michael Lewis and Mark A. Lewis, with the latter directing the feature. Production begins in Vancouver today.

... and they say to the bartender, "Bet you never expected the three of us would team up on a film?" The bartender takes a good look at the three, goes back to cleaning a glass and replies, "Nah, I kinda expected it." Then Dylan McDermott, Brian Presley and Charles Winkler (son of Irwin Winkler) walk into the bar, and go, "Now what if we told you the three of us were involved too -- with Charles directing! And it's called Streets of Blood!" The bartender, tending to his glass, simply replies, "Nah, expected it." Fed up, Charles Winkler throws down his fist and shouts, "And it's gonna be a damn good film too!" Bartender drops his glass in a fit of laughter, looks up and cries, "Now THAT'S something I did not expect!" Everyone laughs and Erik will never become a comedian. The end.

Variety tells us the film centers on two cops dealing with "the lawlessness of New Orleans in the post-Katrina environment." Production begins next month. Another post-Katrina story, huh? Is it just me or is Hollywood really milking Hurricane Katrina? Perhaps I see more of it because I attend a lot of film festivals, and currently there are tons of Katrina docs and narratives on the fest circuit. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you, it just seems like a lot and we're getting close to overkill. This one, however, does sound like it has promise. Plus I've always wanted to see Kilmer, 50 Cent and Stone together in one film. Why not, right?

Any good performance is made up of myriad subtle nuances that go into turning an actor into his or her character. There's only so much costuming and makeup can do though -- certain roles just require a particular accent to make it work. Some actors are known for their uncanny ability to pick up and drop accents at will. If you are Meryl Streep, for instance, sometimes you go and learn a whole new language just to make sure you get it right. Occasionally actors take the plunge and decide to do an accent to just show off their acting chops, or to prove that they are serious artists and not just, "movie stars." Others take on a role that requires an accent, and then just seem to hope we'll overlook how badly they mangle it. The unfortunate actors on this list may have aimed high (or not), but they all missed the mark. And in some cases, they almost managed to take out the entire film solely with their bad accents.

1. Kevin Costner - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

No list of bad accents would be complete without the granddaddy of all bad performances; Kevin Costner as Robin of Locksley. This 1991 stinker cast the corn-fed Costner as a British Lord with a penchant for thievery and social justice. But in spite of Costner's revolving door of accents, the film still went down as one of the biggest box-office hits of 1991, second only to Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Costner has also conceded that he never really had the time to work on a real accent (You don't say? We'd never have guessed ...). With a budget of $48,000,000, you would have thought they could have spared a few bucks for a dialect coach. But perhaps worst of all is that this film is responsible for unleashing Bryan Adam's unholy power ballad "Everything I Do" on the world and ruining wedding receptions forevermore.

2. Val Kilmer - Alexander

Now I know what you are going to say, how could I overlook Angelina Jolie and her laughable 'Gypsy-Russian' hybrid? But Kilmer as the one-eyed King Phillip gives Jolie a run for her money in the laughable accent department with his Leprechaun-inspired Irish/Welsh brogue. Director Oliver Stone has plenty to answer for when it comes to his epic drama. The wig selection alone deserves some serious mea culpas. But, this is a list about accents after all, so we go straight to Stone's decision to hide Colin Farrell's natural Irish accent by surrounding him with what sounds like a chorus of Lucky Charms spokespeople. Jolie might have been over the top, and writhing with snakes, but Kilmer still stands out as a bad accent and a horrible stylistic choice all rolled into one.

Earlier this month a bunch of us came up with a list of the movie characters we'd love to have thanksgiving with. Now, here's the opposite. The title is pretty self-explanatory, so I don't need to set it up much. But as usual, we invite you to tell us of your own picks for worst Thanksgiving dinner guest. Please try to make it a movie character, though, because none of us know your annoying aunt, and plus this is a movie site.


Hannibal Lecter from Manhunter, The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon and Hannibal Rising

If you were to have Dr. Lecter (Brian Cox; Anthony Hopkins; Gaspard Ulliel) to your Thanksgiving feast, you'd want to prepare and cook all the food yourself. Otherwise, you might end up eating human flesh instead of turkey (or turducken, or whatever non-people-based meal you prefer). Then again, you might actually end up the meal, which is certainly much worse than unknowingly tasting Ray Liotta's brains. So, the best thing is to not even invite the guy.


Graham Young from Young Poisoner's Handbook

Another character who might be an interesting guest, but like with Lecter, you'll need to keep an eye on the food, or at least on the tea. Graham (Hugh O'Conor), aka "the teacup murderer" likes to play with poison, and there's a good chance he's going to spike the dinner or drinks with thallium.

Sony Pictures has just launched Stage 6 Films, "a label that will acquire and produce films for theatrical and straight-to-DVD release." The Variety announcement reports that Stage 6 will focus mostly on the DVD market, and on films budgeted at $1 to $10 million dollars. They've got a lot of movies on the horizon, with some pretty big stars involved. Conspiracy is an action flick starring Val "Iceman" Kilmer, Gary "Lumbergh" Cole, and Jennifer "Hot" Esposito. Thomas Jane is acting in and directing Dark Country (hope it's not a punisher!). The Stone House is a horror film starring Shane West and JK "Schillinger" Simmons. The Lodger stars Alfred Molina, whom I always picture in his underwear singing "Sister Christian." And Felon brings us even more Kilmer thrills, with Stephen Dorff and Harold Perrineau in tow.

And you know when you're talking direct-to-DVD, you're talking about some really random sequels. Stage 6 has announced a prequel (a prequel?) to this year's pretty cool horror flick Vacancy. There will also be a second Starship Troopers sequel -- Starship Troopers: Marauder, with Casper "Van Dien" Van Dien, Boris Kodjoe, and Jolene Blalock. Wesley Snipes will star in a sequel to the absolutely terrible action movie The Art of War, which I will refer to as The Art of War 2: Seriously? And Center Stage 2 will capitalize on the public's love of melodramatic teen dance dramas. I must confess a special place in my heart for the original Stage, because it led to a memorable high school back seat rendezvous. Put that quote on your poster, Sony! "Stage 6 will also continue to leverage our vast library of studio films, as we have done with Daddy Day Camp and the I Know What You Did Last Summer franchise," threatens a Stage 6 executive.