Kevin Smith has had a panel at almost every Comic-Con since for the past umpteen years, and the line for it is always out the door, around the corner, down the block, across the street, and stretches into Mexico. You can be sure of one thing at most Cons, and that is the fact that you're going to need to line up early to get into this thing.

Wait, I meant to say you can be sure of two things. One, line up early for anything Kevin Smith related, and two ... be prepared for a lot of swear words. This really isn't the sort of thing you want to be bringing your seven year old daughter to in her Pokemon costume unless you want to be explaining some fairly graphic things to her. If you do, get ready for an incessant stream of, "Daddy, why is everyone laughing?" Although the eleven-year-old kid in front of me sure seemed to get a lot of the oral sex jokes. Wow.

The Quick Stop Entertainment site (which is the new incarnation of View Askew's Movie Poop Shoot site) has launched a new feature that I think has plenty of potential. Quickcast Commentaries are all new audio commentaries for existing films or TV shows that are downloadable in MP3 format. (Yes, it's kinda like Mike Nelson's RiffTrax.) Just synch them up to the film or show in question and your off. Future entries will feature a full range of creators commenting on films they've either loved, despised or worked on. The first in this series is a commentary by Quick Stop editor-in-chief Ken Plume and columnist Widgett Walls for Star Wars Episode III-The Revenge of the Sith.

As I said, the idea has promise, though, unfortunately, the feature is off to a shaky start. I was not a huge fan of Revenge of the Sith, but even if I utterly despised the film I can't imagine wanting to listen to this non-stop gripe-fest. Ken and Widgett don't like this movie. I mean, they really don't like this movie, and the commentary stops just short of the two of them running over to George Lucas's house and leaving flaming dog crap on his doorstep.

The problem is that people who listen to audio commentaries are people who love film and the filmmaking process. Listening to this commentary is like being stuck in a cubicle next to that co-worker who never stops complaining. Granted, there are people who despise Episode III, so maybe this is more their cup of tea. Personally, when I see a bad movie I kick my stuffed penguin, perhaps write a negative review, and move on. I still like the idea of alternate audio commentaries, though, and I'm anxious to see where this feature goes in the future.

Let's play the question game again. I'll ask you a series of questions. If, at any point, you answer no to one of the questions, you can probably stop reading this post, as it will no longer interest you. I'll doubt you'll do that though, because really, who stops in the middle of a 200 word article? That's like stopping halfway through a piece of toast. You could do it, but ... why? It's not like it's a big commitment. Ready? Good.

1. Do you like Kevin Smith?
2. Do you appreciate amateur films?
3. Do you enjoy alcohol? (not an actual requirement, just a bonus for those of you who do)
4. Do you have 20 spare bucks?
5. Will you be in or around Los Angeles on Wednesday, September 6th?

If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, you might want to make your way to Cinespace sometime around 6pm this upcoming Wednesday and join Kevin Smith and a collection of other fans for the big Movies Askew Film Festival. The 12 films that will screen have been culled from thousands of shorts collected by Smith and company over the last year, and the big winner will be announced after the final flick screens -- sometime around midnight. The prize includes a fancy camera, a fancy TV and sound system, and a position working on the next View Askew film. You can read more about it here, if you happen to be interested.

Kevin Smith's films have not exactly been burning through the box office of late, although until Jersey Girl most of them could be (and were) viewed as modest successes by Smith and his fans (yours truly included). This means he needs either a good box office return or a great critical reception in the manner of Chasing Amy  -- preferably both -- for his upcoming Clerks 2. To help with this goal, Smith has been inducting his fans into a personal marketing team, creating a contest to get the word out on his latest theatrical release. The deal is this: fans are to post Clerks 2 banners (which link back to the film's website) in every possible internet forum available to them: MySpace, websites, forums, message boards, etc. The fan who gets his banner in the most unique and/or impressive location will receive a guaranteed on-camera appearance in the very next View Askew film. Nine runners up will also get some manner of swag.

It is an interesting idea, and I'm curious to see how it turns out. Do you think it will help Smith generate interest in his film, or will it cause an irritated backlash against what could be perceived as internet graffiti? Clever or desperate -- or possibly a mix of both? I'll be impressed if a banner actually makes it somewhere other than message boards and movie/geek websites.