WildThings Tagged Articles at Cinematical

It's funny over here. You're quite safe from penis shots in America because American people don't have penises, so you can't see them in film. Whereas in Britain you can see your penis in film. So since it's an American picture, it's just a bum you see. Ewan McGregor, interviewed by MTV

I apologize for the lame joke in the title, but in this case it rings true. As McGregor insinuated above, there's a certain phobia about male genitalia, so much so that the mere sight of it -- even in its inactive state -- leads to uproar. Why would I mention this today? Watchmen is now out on DVD, and that means full-frontal Dr. Manhattan.

While it's probably one of the most necessary uses of nudity (fake flesh at that), Manhattan's penis sent many conservative critics and moviegoers into a rant-filled panic. Never mind the fact that he's a full-stop superhero who is naked, and has a fulled developed body. Some of the masses expected him to keep prudish sensibilities in mind and Ken-ize his genitalia as he saves the world or works in his natural state. In honor of the Manhattan uproar, here are seven cases where male nudity became the main talking point of the film.

Ah, sex scenes. They've been making bad movies tolerable for decades. But when you put a sex scene with a good movie, well now you're cooking with gas! The Independent Film Channel and The Nerve Film Lounge have just released a list of "The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema." I should warn you up front, the list does not include any scenes from Wild Things, and therefore is completely irrelevant. It's still well worth a look. Here's their Top Ten: 10) Young Frankenstein (pictured), 9) The Big Easy, 8) Secretary, 7) My Beautiful Laundrette, 6) Betty Blue, 5) The Unbearable Lightness of Being, 4) Risky Business, 3) Mulholland Drive, 2) A History of Violence...And their choice for the Greatest Sex Scene in Cinema is...Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie doing some 70's-style (and rumored to be real!) thrusting in Don't Look Now. (The list also includes a sex scene that blatantly ripped off DLN -- George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in the excellent Out of Sight, at #26).

The list contains dude-on-dude action (like Poison at #44 and Brokeback Mountain at #23), chick-on-chick action (like High Art at #42 and Bound at #20), and um..."confused" action (Boys Don't Cry at #27). There's hardcore penetration scenes (like those in 9 Songs at #29 and Shortbus at #38). There's one of the most unpleasant sex scenes of all time -- from Todd Solondz's Storytelling (#31), a scene that cleared out more than half the audience I saw it with. The funniest sex scene on there is probably the puppet porno of Team America: World Police at #14, but I've got to give props to their selection from High Fidelity (#41). It's not a turn-on, but it's one of the greatest depictions of jealousy ever put on film -- John Cusack imagining the mind-blowing sex his ex is having with Tim Robbins. There are some pretty baffling selections on the list, most notably Network at #35. I could ask a million people to pick their favorite sex scenes and I don't think a single person would even consider anything from Network. Network! Just to recap -- the list does not include the Denise Richards/Neve Campbell/Matt Dillon/bottle of champage breastacular extravaganza that is Wild Things, certainly the most paused and slow-mo'd film in VHS and DVD history. But it does include Sidney Lumet's satire on the state of television: Network. What would you guys add to or remove from the list?

Just a heads up, the list is arranged in a baffling and obnoxious way that switches you back and forth between Nerve.com and IFC.com. The only reason I mention this is because it shut down my net browser roughly 100 times, causing me to pull my hair out endlessly re-writing this article. Be warned.