As Scrubs began to wind down over the last few years, the question became: What will happen to Zach Braff? A few years ago, that answer was simple -- he'd be a famous director/star. He had made quite an impact with Garden State, and it seemed like he would continue to make wonderfully music-laden features that balance quirk with a decent semblance of reality. But then, hopes started to crumble. Chicken Little was alright and all -- a family film, so that doesn't count. However, that was followed with The Last Kiss, which didn't live up to expectations, and then The Ex, which ripped out the hearts of Bateman/Braff appreciators and stomped on them.

With his movie path in question until we see what he makes of his sophomore feature Open Hearts, Braff is sticking with television, but behind the scenes. Reuters reports that he and Office alum David Denman are going to jump into a drama pilot for Fox. Considering the oh-so-popular themes on television today, would it be a hospital pitch, or a cop pitch? More of the same for Zach -- he's in negotiations to direct and executive produce Saint of Circumstance. Should things go well, Denman will start as "an office worker who quits his dead-end job to become a paramedic on the night shift." The reason for Zach's involvement -- the pilot was written by his brother, Adam Braff.

So I ask you:

While they might be all sorts of succulent and tasty, poultry gets the crappy end of the slang stick. The chicken is the coward, and instead of a platter signifying all things delectable, turkeys are considered the foolish and often useless. To top that off -- when turkeys hit the celebrity realm, well, they're usually also box office bombs. In honor of our never-ending love of celebrity gossip, train-wrecks, and disaster stories, I present you with seven tasty turkeys in honor of our upcoming turkey day. Many are just a gross waste of potential, and some, I'm sure you'll agree, don't even have half the potential that studios give them credit for. Whatever the reason, they're all riding the stinker train.

Gobble, gobble!


Paris Hilton

She's mocked by many, loved by few, but Paris Hilton seems to be able to outlast even the little train that could. Prison didn't stop her, and neither do crappy movies. Working backwards: Pledge This! was so very bad that it's pretty much off the radar; the same goes for Bottoms Up; House of Wax did alright, but doesn't hold the moviegoer love; and, which Hillz? Yet somehow, somewhere, she got cast in Repo! The Genetic Opera!, which let her loose on the streets of Toronto to gripe over sex tape woes. We keep waiting for her to fall, or go away, but I'm starting to think that this super-skinny turkey is here to stay. She's like one of those inflatable boxing stand-ups that somehow swings its way upright each and every time.

First, Chevy Chase considered returning to the iconic role with Kevin Smith, but that turned ugly. Then, it was going to be Smith directing Jason Lee. Then, it was going to be Bill Lawrence directing Zach Braff. Ryan Reynolds was mentioned a lot, and jumped out to me as a perfect choice. The most recent talk had Joshua "Pacey" Jackson stepping into the role, with Steve Pink (Accepted) at the helm. But it seems the role of Irwin "Fletch" Fletcher is still up for grabs. Now The Office's John Krasinski is interested, bringing the total to at least four appealing television actors who have flirted with the update of the 1985 comedy classic, Fletch. Fletch Won has been passed around like a hot potato, and I'm not even sure what script they're working off of at this point. IMDb lists a script by Pink, Eli Jorne and Charlie McDowell, but it also lists a 2007 release date -- and that ain't gonna happen. I don't know what to believe anymore!

"My name was tossed around a little bit for the role, and it's something that [I might consider]," Krasinski tells MTV Movies Blog. "[Negotiating something like this] is a give or take kind of thing. I read the script, and it is hilarious. It's just one of those things that is so terrifying, to step up and be in a role that was done so perfectly," says Krasinski, adding "I mean, Chevy Chase not only created that role, but he did it pretty damn well." I think fans should be happy with this bit of news. The original film was very important to my youth, and I've been surprisingly pleased with every potential Fletch. Krasinski is terrific on The Office, and would be a much better fit for the material than the admittedly talented Joshua Jackson. I'd be happy to see Krasinski take a crack at Fletch, especially if he can keep the "raised eyebrow looks to the camera" at a minimum. Plus, it'd be a great way for him to earn back some cool points after the sure-to-be-sucktacular License to Wed. "Robin Williams as a Zany Preacher?" The only phrase less likely to get me into the theater would be "Ned Beatty as an Exotic Dancer."

Fans of Garden State will be happy to know that Zach Braff has finally stepped behind the camera once again, except it's not for his follow-up feature film. Nope, according to Vulture, Braff is directing a Dunkin' Donuts commercial starring none other than the ultra volatile "please don't hit me with anything" supermodel Naomi Campbell. I cannot think of a stranger scenario -- here we have the super quirky Braff helming a commercial for a store known for their greasy donuts ... and it stars a supermodel! Has Campbell ever eaten a donut in her life (using them as weapons to attack random assistants does not count)? Braff, on the other hand, is apparently a big fan of the chain. While out doing press for The Last Kiss, he was asked what he liked most about Boston. His answer? "I have never seen a city that has more Dunkin' Donuts on every corner. I love Dunkin' Donuts, and I'm not doing an advertisement, but there's nothing like a nice donut." So there you have it -- the dude digs donuts.

While reps for Braff, Campbell and Dunkin' Donuts wouldn't confirm this to be true, filming reportedly took place yesterday back on Braff's home turf in Orange, New Jersey. And after doing some more digging, I uncovered the plot (if you want to call it that) of said commercial. Holy Moly tells us that Campbell is filmed "gardening while wearing an evening gown," (makes sense, right) and when a neighbor annoys her, she throws her shoe through their window. (Get it? Because Campbell throws things and needs money to pay off those who are suing her -- hence, embarrassing herself with this crummy commercial?) What does this all have to do with Dunkin' Donuts? Well, there's another woman who watches the whole thing and "keeps cool" by drinking some sort of iced coffee. Don't you see her? She's wayyy in the back corner. No, behind the production assistant. In the blue jeans. Yes, the one holding a sign that reads "Garden State Was Overrated!"

No word yet on the status of Braff's film Open Hearts (a remake of Susanne Bier's 2002 Danish film), but perhaps the guy signed on to this gig in order to get used to directing again. That would be the most logical excuse. Then again, maybe it's the only job he can find. Time to make the donuts another film, Zach -- whaddya think?

[via Hollywood Wiretap]

Love is spreading through the cinematic world like wildfire. After Paris, je t'aime brought together the likes of the Coen Brothers, Tom Tykwer, Isabel Coixet, Gurinder Chada and other leading directors to create this varied and sectional account of Paris and love, we're now getting one about New York (with a Chinese version also on the way). Producer Emmanuel Benbihy is currently harnessing a new incarnation of directors to whip up New York, I Love You. This collection includes: Zach Braff, Mira Nair, Park Chan-Wook and Fatih Akin.

I'm kind of surprised Ethan Hawke isn't among them, or maybe Richard Linklater. The former, at the very least, is all about Gotham and the throes of love. Benhiby says: "we really want to surprise audiences with young, hip filmmakers with their own personal style and movie language."

Young and hip is great and all, but to me that sounds like they're just trying to commodify the idea, which gives me scary flashbacks to Reality Bites. Each section will be 5 minutes long to create a 100-minute final cut, and a thirteenth director will also be chosen to create transition sequences to "make the movie much more fluid." Please, please don't let the guy have actors' heads swirling on a big pizza! However, it'll be interesting to see what these directors can do with five minutes. Music video directors have jumped from the short story to the long feature, but I wonder how these guys will fair with such a small bit of time to get their point across. We should know soon enough -- they actually want the film to be out for a first-quarter 2008 release.

So, what are your thoughts? New York love -- yay or nay?

Slight morsels for you:

• So we've been filling you in on the upcoming Terminator 4 sequel, which last had rumors of an Arnie return. Now the folks at JoBlo say that Nick Stahl is considering a return in the role that Edward Furlong made famous. (He is part of the "option package" for upcoming sequels.) I'd be surprised if he didn't. We've been robbed of Carnivale, and he's already wrapped up the other films on his docket -- Quid Pro Quo, Ferris Wheel and The Speed of Thought.
• I've finally got some more news for you on Zach Braff's upcoming flick, Andrew Henry's Meadow. In March, there were rumblings that he would be penning an adaptation with his brother, Adam, and Barry Sonnenfeld was in talks to direct it. In an interview with VH1, he's now saying that Cory Edwards will be directing the film, which Braff describes as "if Terry Gilliam had directed The Goonies." It will be his first live-action movie, so I'm curious to see how he deals with the outcast kids who team up to save their parents, like Erik described here.
• Finally, there's more cast to add to the upcoming thriller that Jessica Barnes told us about last month, Pathology, which stars super-absorby hero Milo Ventimiglia. He, Alyssa Milano and Lauren Lee Smith will be joined by Keir O'Donnell, who was one of the Clearys in Wedding Crashers, Michael Weston whose last feature role was the dysfunctional dumpee in The Last Kiss and Mei Melancon, who was Psylocke in X-Men: The Last Stand. The film will get shopped at Cannes, and I'm sure someone will pick it up. What studio can refuse a bunch of young actors starring as medical students who make a game to see who can commit the perfect murder?

In one of those increasingly rare moments, it looks like the movie-going public and reviewers are agreeing that Zach Braff's latest film, the romantic comedy The Ex, isn't worth the attention. In Scott Weinberg's review for Cinematical, he said: "I scanned through the cast list for The Ex I thought, "Hey cool, here comes a little under-the-radar comedy that I'd really LIKE to enjoy. I dig practically every actor in the cast!" It took about fifteen laugh-free minutes for me to get worried, 35 to get annoyed, and then another 28 to get depressed." With the weekend box office numbers in, it looks like the public is agreeing.

Of course, there was no way that Braff was going to de-throne Spider-Man 3, even with mixed reviews. However, it also couldn't match La Lohan's Georgia Rule and a bunch of other flicks. With a weekend gross of just $1,355,000, The Ex slid into to a comfortably disappointing #12, after the 7-weeks-out Blades of Glory. Is this final confirmation that Braff is a one-hit wonder (Did anyone like The Last Kiss?), or that he should stick to his own material? As much as I liked Garden State, what would bother me much more than Braff being washed up is that Jason Bateman will once again fade into oblivion. Luckily, Bateman has a number of chances to wipe away this professional blip, such as Peter Berg's The Kingdom and Tonight, He Comes. As for Zach, he's uhh, got Chicken Little?

He may not be that great a director, but Barry Sonnenfeld is good enough for comedic sci-fi/fantasy fare like the Men in Black and Addams Family movies. When he doesn't have cool production design or special effects to fall back on, he tends to deliver worthless titles like Big Trouble and RV. Of course, he has exceptions: Wild Wild West was an awful effects-driven pic and Get Shorty was a great film without any fantastic elements. Still, we must be thankful that his next project deals with the supernatural. Based on the myth of Pandora's Box, the movie is simply titled The Box, and is about a directionless college graduate who is tricked into opening the infamous container, unleashing the evil out unto the world.

The script is being written by Evan Spiliotopoulos, who penned Pooh's Heffalump Movie (as well as its direct-to-video Halloween-set sequel) and has worked on scripts for other animated pics, including The Jungle Book 2, Tarzan II and Lion King 1½. For the future he's also written an animated version of The Nutty Professor, which features the voice of Jerry Lewis rather than Eddie Murphy, and the animated sci-fi film Terra. Although The Box will be a live-action "summer event film", it is likely to have a lot of the same family-friendliness as his 'toon work (though he also wrote the erotic thriller, Bare Witness). Let's just hope it is isn't as childish as The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, which is also a modern version of the Pandora myth, or as silly as Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, which deals with the box as a threatening archaeological find. It is surprising that there hasn't been a great update of the myth, actually. The Box won't be it; but it should at least be as entertaining as any Sonnenfeld effort. The director is still currently linked to the Zach Braff-co-scripted Andrew Harry's Meadow as his next project, but The Box could be his first priority, as 20th Century Fox is fast-tracking its production.

Here is a list of actors who appear in Jesse Peretz's The Ex: Jason Bateman, Zach Braff, Amanda Peet, Charles Grodin, Mia Farrow, Amy Poehler, Fred Armisen, Amy Adams, Donal Logue, Josh Charles and Paul Rudd. Every single one of 'em is a very talented actor who can really deliver the laughs -- given the right material.

Here is a list of actors who appear in Jesse Peretz's The Ex without delivering one single laugh over the course of 81 resoundingly wretched minutes: Jason Bateman, Zach Braff, Amanda Peet, Charles Grodin, Mia Farrow, Amy Poehler, Fred Armisen, Amy Adams, Donal Logue, Josh Charles and Paul Rudd. It's almost like a world's record: How long can a movie stocked with really funny people go on without doling out, at minimum, one mild chuckle? Comedy experts may one day look at The Ex with a scientific eye. Aspiring filmmakers should check it out as a lesson plan from Bizarro World: Make a movie that's the exact opposite of The Ex and it could be the funniest film ever made.

Since humor and "what's funny" are entirely subjective things (meaning that you might find "cripple humor" the pinnacle of all things hilarious whereas I can't help but see such material as obvious, desperate and witless), I'll leave my "zero laughs" opinion at the door and just explain how terribly-made The Ex is. (Basically picture the lamest, longest sitcom pilot you can possibly imagine.) You may have heard of this movie under its original title (Fast Track) or knew a little something about its three or four previous release dates, but it's now limping into theaters with no fanfare whatsoever, desperately hoping to dupe a few fans of Scrubs and Arrested Development into buying a ticket.

Good news, Zach Braff fans: We're unveiling the poster for his new romantic comedy The Ex below. Those of you who possess the infinite wisdom and impeccable taste to be loyal devotees of Braff's TV show Scrubs will be glad to know that, if The Ex trailer is any indication, the film appears to have a very similar comedic sensibility to the wacky medical sitcom. Braff stars as a big-time underachiever who's forced to become the breadwinner for his family when his successful lawyer of a wife (Amanda Peet) gets pregnant. But when his new job pits him against his wife's wheelchair-bound ex-boyfriend (Jason Bateman), he realizes that "nothing burns like an old flame" ... and that it really sucks to get beat up by a guy in a wheelchair. Get an exclusive first look at the poster below (Click on the image for a larger version).

Get more about The Ex | Watch The Ex trailer | See Zach Braff photos