Earlier this month a bunch of us came up with a list of the movie characters we'd love to have thanksgiving with. Now, here's the opposite. The title is pretty self-explanatory, so I don't need to set it up much. But as usual, we invite you to tell us of your own picks for worst Thanksgiving dinner guest. Please try to make it a movie character, though, because none of us know your annoying aunt, and plus this is a movie site.


Hannibal Lecter from Manhunter, The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon and Hannibal Rising

If you were to have Dr. Lecter (Brian Cox; Anthony Hopkins; Gaspard Ulliel) to your Thanksgiving feast, you'd want to prepare and cook all the food yourself. Otherwise, you might end up eating human flesh instead of turkey (or turducken, or whatever non-people-based meal you prefer). Then again, you might actually end up the meal, which is certainly much worse than unknowingly tasting Ray Liotta's brains. So, the best thing is to not even invite the guy.


Graham Young from Young Poisoner's Handbook

Another character who might be an interesting guest, but like with Lecter, you'll need to keep an eye on the food, or at least on the tea. Graham (Hugh O'Conor), aka "the teacup murderer" likes to play with poison, and there's a good chance he's going to spike the dinner or drinks with thallium.

The comedy villain is one of the trickiest characters to pull off. Too often, the villain's scenes are there simply to further the "plot," which, in a lot of comedies, is pretty inconsequential. If a comedy even has a true villain, and many don't, scenes focusing on him or her usually drain the movie of life and make the audience eager to get back to the laughs. But a smart comedy creates a villain every bit as funny as the hero(es). Below are my favorite movie slimeballs, in order of release date. I'd love to hear some of yours.

John Vernon as Dean Vernon Wormer in National Lampoon's Animal House

One of the best traits for a comedy villain to have is that he or she is an "Enemy of Fun." You've met people like this. They hate fun. They hate people who have fun. Dean Wormer is a perfect example. In fact, unlike the other bad guys on this list, you can't imagine Wormer ever having had fun at any point in his life. Smileless, humorless, joyless...but hilarious. The crusty, bitter dean is almost a requirement for college movies, and you can feel Wormer's influence in every flick of its type released since. You certainly wouldn't have Dean Pritchard in Old School without Wormer. Animal House is a movie brimming over with jerks, Doug Neidermeyer would have made a perfectly good choice here, too -- frat guys always make great villains. But you've got to have some sympathy for that dude-- he got killed in Vietnam by his own troops.

Best Line: "The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me."

Ted Knight as Judge Smails in Caddyshack

Stopping just short of actually chewing on pieces of scenery, Knight's work in Caddyshack is a masterpiece of taking it over the top. A master of the slow burn, the man is made of simmering anger and rage. Knight more than holds his own against three incredible comedians: Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and Chevy Chase in his prime. In a lesser movie, Judge Smails would be a generic authority figure, enabling the three comedy stars to do their riffs around him and act out against him. But Knight's Judge is a worthy opponent, and manages to grab just as many laughs as the goofballs. Every bit as influential as Dean Wormer, you can draw a straight line from Judge Smails to say, Shooter McGavin.

Best Line: "I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them."

In less than ten years Netflix has become not just a great company but also a great company model. Despite all attempts from Blockbuster and others to compete with the online rental service, Netflix continues to be the champion in its industry. But will the industry eventually be obsolete with all the other internet distribution options? Netflix CEO Reed Hastings says that DVD rentals will indeed become extinct in the next 20 years, but he says that fortunately for him Netflix is not simply a DVD rental service. "If one thinks of Netflix as a DVD rental business," he told the Wall Street Journal, "one is right to be scared. If one thinks of Netflix as an online movie service with multiple different delivery models, then one's a lot less scared. We're only now starting to deliver the proof points behind that second vision."

One of Netflix's plans for the future is a streaming video-on-demand option, which they began rolling out as a bonus to subscribers in January (I still haven't received my upgrade, which is expected to hit all members by June). Hastings claims that by the end of this year 5,000 films will be available in that format. He defended the relatively small amount (compared to 75,000 titles available via snail mail) by pointing out that Netflix originally started out offering only 1,000 titles on DVD. Netflix has also been planning for the future of high-density discs by stocking every title available on Blu-Ray and HD-DVD, though Hastings told the WSJ that the formats are not renting too well, and the competing brands are neck-in-neck neck and neck for this small market. He also said that he expects little increase on interest in the discs until one brand is declared the standard.

If the average human being were able to listen to radio waves traveling back and forth through the earth's atmosphere, one would be able to cup one's hand to one's ear, listen quietly for a moment, and pick up the words "Food Fight!"

According to a recent Associated Press story, U.S. astronaut Michael Lopez-Alegria, who is currently orbiting 220 miles above the earth in the international space station with two others, loves to check in with Mission Control at Cape Canaveral by quoting his favorite movies.

When told that he had been "reported to Dean Wormer" and put on "double-secret probation," Lopez-Alegria picked up the reference to National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) and responded with, "seven years of college down the drain."

The space station is reportedly equipped with its own DVD library. The astronaut likes to watch movies while exercising. Since Lopez-Alegria arrived at the space station last September, he has picked a "movie of the week," broadcasting snippets of dialogue and music and challenging his earthbound colleagues to name that film.

Some of his favorites have included Caddyshack (1980), Best in Show (2000), O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004). He has gained a reputation for using his quick quips to diffuse a tense situation or to alleviate boredom.

"I think in generations past, we might be quoting poetry or Shakespeare," said fellow astronaut Garrett Reisman. "It seems like movie lines are where our touchstone is."

It looks as if Lopez-Alegria picked a good time to leave earth. He hasn't missed too many quotable movies -- except one. Can someone beam him up a copy of The Departed?

It looks like Richard Curtis learned his lesson when it came to making sappy middle-aged romantic fare, because he has promised that his next comedy project would be what Curtis describes as "Animal House meets Titanic" -- not exactly what you would expect from the guy who made Notting Hill and Bridget Jones's Diary. Curtis' last film was Love, Actually – an inter-connected series of stories about love and romance for the 30-or-older set. The film did respectable business at the box office but it was hardly an honorary member of the Four Weddings and a Funeral club in terms of popularity.

Empire reports that Curtis has selected his next directorial project, a film titled The Boat That Rocked. The pic focuses on a radio station that operates at sea (which I would assume is where the Titanic reference comes in, but I hope he's referring to the romance and not the sinking). Details are still sketchy on the project and Curtis hasn't committed to any casting details. Before Curtis became known as the maker of polite romances, he was a writer on The Black Adder series starring Rowan Atkinson. Well, if nothing else, it proves that the man knows funny, and not just warm and fuzzy funny either, but honest-to-goodness funny.

Odds and ends from the Friday before a looong weekend:

• After originally setting a release date of May 2, 2008, Columbia Pictures has decided to push Bond 22 (ya know, the one that comes after Casino Royale) back a few months and, instead, debut it on November 7, 2008. The next installment in the James Bond franchise has run into a bit of trouble as of late, what with director Roger Michell quitting the project. No new director has come onboard yet, though Richard Curtis (Love Actually) has been rumored to be penning the script.
• You know it's a wacky Friday when Michael Jackson makes it into Quickhits. The pop star (who was recently acquitted of child molestation charges) is in talks with John Landis (Animal House, The Blues Brothers) to direct his comeback video. While this may seem a bit strange to some of you (for many different reasons), Landis has a history with Jackson, having helmed the videos for Thriller and Black and White. Says Landis, "Michael is a genius. He's obviously an eccentric but he really has a great talent." And that talent is?
• In my wildest dreams, I never imagined a film could be described as a 'Jewish blaxploitation movie.' However, The Hebrew Hammer is just that ... and I loved every minute of it. Thus, I was thrilled to hear writer-director Jonathan Kesselman is planning a sequel and calling it Hebrew Hammer 2: Hammer vs. Hitler. (Ed: Will this come before or after his screen version of Beemer?) After Hammer battled Santa in the original, I think it was pretty obvious who the bad guy in the follow-up would be. Anyway, according to reports, Kesselman has written the recent Mel Gibson "incident" into the script. And, apparently, Gibson dies at the end of said scene. Says Kesselman, "I think if Mel wants to truly extend an olive branch to the Jewish Community as a whole, his on-screen death would go a long way in accomplishing that goal." Hmm, I guess that's one way to look at it.

I haven't ever been able to actually prove it, but I swear I remember hearing, many moons ago, that the Tim Matheson role in Animal House was originally written with Chevy Chase in mind. Now, considering how slick, smooth, and smarmy "Otter" is throughout the flick, I don't find that very hard to believe. And while I'd love to see how Chevy Chase would have fit into the Animal House ensemble, I don't know how much I'd love a version of Animal House that doesn't feature Tim Matheson.

One of the undeniable classics of modern Hollywood comedy, Animal House packs a lot of familiar faces and memorable characters into the mix. Peter Riegert's "Boon" is a silver-tongued nice-guy; James Widdoes' "Hoover" strikes a great balance between maturity and childishness; Stephen Furst's "Flounder" is a lovably chubby dork; Tom Hulce's "Pinto" makes for a solid 'reference point' for an audience member ... I could go on an on: John Vernon's hilariously evil dean, Mark Metcalf's absurdly obnoxious jerk, Bruce McGill's profanely inscrutible troublemaker, and (of course) John Belushi's maniacally entertaining party animal. (And that's not even including names like Karen Allen, Donald Sutherland, Verna Bloom, and young Kevin Bacon!)

Odds and ends from Friday/Saturday:

• An interesting trio of stars have lined up to play roles in The Take, to be directed by Brad Furman. According to Production Weekly, John Leguizamo, Rosie Perez and Tyrese Gibson are attached to the heist flick, which was penned by siblings Josh and Jonas Pete. Story will surround a security guard (Leguizamo) who gets caught up in a carefully orchestrated heist. While recovering from the dramatic event, he learns the FBI and police are targeting him as their prime suspect. Damn, talk about a guy that deserves a pay raise.
• While I'm sure Martha is still holding out hope the Weinstein's remake of Akira Kurosawa's classic Seven Samurai will mysteriously disappear and never happen ... like, ever, it does appear everything is going forward as planned since a scribe has now been attached. Screenwriter John Fusco (Hidalgo, Young Guns) has been tapped to bring a little bit of the American west to 16th Century Japan. Seeing as Kurosawa originally used the Western for inspiration during Samurai, this seems like a logical choice. Whether or not the remake should happen in the first place? Well, that's a debate I'm sure will heat up as time goes on.
• Those of you who have been waiting for a sequel to the comedy classic Animal House may get a chance to see the whole thing play out in real life. Authorities recently raided the Alpha Delta fraternity house that inspired the1978 hit film. Located at Dartmouth College, police confiscated a computer, videotapes and two sledgehammers. Though no one is saying what this is all about (and if Alpha Delta is now on double secret probation), the police chief did note that it was not drug related. Animal House scribe, Chris Miller, was a member of the same fraternity when he graduated from Dartmouth in 1964 and later used his experience to help create the wonderful characters we've grown to love over the years.