As cute, cuddly, and companion-filled as pets are, there's always been that eerie and underlying fear about what they could accomplish if. Would the buggers turn on you and try to eat you if the world's food supply disappeared? Could they become possessed by an old burial ground, like Pet Sematary?

There's no creepy graves in sight, but The Hollywood Reporter posts that Columbia Pictures has picked up a new spec for Neal Moritz to produce called Animals, from newbie writer Mike Sobel. Said to be a horror/thriller, the film will focus on what happens when the Earth's animals turn on humans. (Will they stop being polite, and start getting real?) We're not just talking lions, tigers, and bears, but chipmunks, house cats, and tiny lop-eared bunnies. ALL animals. I'm sort of surprised that comedy isn't mentioned anywhere, so I imagine the protags will only have to deal with the scarier animals. If some bunny goes human-hungry on-screen, that'll just end up looking like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

As for Sobel, he's some guy who worked as an assistant district attorney in New York, and left his job to make it big in Los Angeles a year ago. Hmm... I imagine there are a lot of struggling writers out there grumbling right now. But still, kudos for making it, Mike.

Drunk, hammered, stoned, in the groove... Whatever you care to call it, today's trailers are about being in a chemically altered state.

What Happens in Vegas
I really liked Ashton Kutcher in The Butterfly Effect and I thought he was funny in That 70s Show. Why then does everything else he does make me cringe so? Kutcher and Cameron Diaz play a pair of strangers who have a night of fun together in Vegas and wake up the next day with screaming hangovers and wedding rings. The plan for a quick and simple divorce is complicated when the two win $3 million together. This romantic comedy looks utterly predictable and downright irritating. Dennis Miller is an interesting choice as the judge who sentences the two a period of actual matrimony before they are allowed a divorce. The day this hits theaters I think I'll be busy washing my hair, despite being bald as a plucked chicken.

Animals
This one makes the list today because, as I recall from the book, the story is propelled by a drunken tryst. I had a modest amount of anticipation for this one. I wasn't crazy about the novel Animals, but it was written by John Skipp and Craig Spector, two wunderkind of the late 80's splatterpunk movement -- a style of horror fiction that favors the extreme. I would have thought some of Skipp and Spector's other books like The Light at the End or The Cleanup would have made a better choice for adaptation. That said, Naveen Andrews looks like he'll make a decent lycanthrope, and the oddly hairless werewolves you see in the trailer are surprisingly cool looking. There hasn't been a decent werewolf flick in awhile, so maybe we're due.

According to Fangoria.com, horror novelist John Skipp is making the transition to filmmaker. OK, it's happened before with varying degrees of success. Clive Barker's turns in the director's chair have been relatively few, but Hellraiser is a genuine classic, and Nightbreed was pretty cool (and badly overdue for a director's cut). The less said about Stephen King's sole directorial effort the better, but if you're really curious about it check out my Retro Cinema piece on Maximum Overdrive. Skipp is probably best known for several horror novels he wrote in the 80s and 90s with his former writing partner Craig Spector (I was particularly fond of The Light at the End, The Cleanup, and The Bridge). Skipp and Spector were two of the more prominent authors in the Splatterpunk genre, which was distinguished by its use of extreme violence and gore.

Skipp is writing solo these days and he's in the process of finishing up his latest novel, Jake's Wake. He's also co-writing, producing and directing a film based on that book. He's spent much of the last ten years focusing on his music career, but apparently he's also been prepping for work as a film director. "I've spent much of it studying the filmmaking process at UCLA, IFP and the Hollywood Film Institute." Skipp says he's made a 12 minute spec version of the film and screened it for Re-Animator director Stuart Gordon whose response was "you're a director now," which Skipp says "was all the validation I needed; the feature is in full-on pre-production now, and that is particularly exciting." The movie, which is being co-scripted by Laura Bahr, deals with a corrupt televangelist who is murdered, but returns from the dead thinking he is the second coming of Christ and, as Skipp puts it, "all kinds of grim, gory, mind-bending pandemonium are unleashed." The film will be a low budget indie affair with no big names in the cast, and negotiations are underway with various effects companies to handle the film's many gore effects. Skipp expects to start shooting in the early spring.

OK, he's got my attention. I'm not familiar with his solo work, but the Skipp and Spector novels showed these guys knew how to scare. Adding to my renewed interest in both authors' work is the fact that an adaptation of their novel Animals is currently in post-production.

All of my rationale and mental faculties tell me that I shouldn't be into this, but I just can't help it. They say: "back away... Slowly!" But I'm not listening. Variety has just shared the cast list for the upcoming horror film, Animals. A scary movie, I must add, that is based on a novel by Craig Spector, that he adapted himself. Who? He hasn't had too much work in film (he has a big pulpy horror novel career), but his one feature is A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child. It's the installment that got me into the series since it was on weekend television all the time in the early 90's. It's also the movie that holds one of my favorite death scenes -- death by Freddy-bike.

So, he's written up this little screenplay for Highlander:Endgame* director Doug Aarniokoski to direct, and these are the people who will star in it: the guy who already has experience as an Animal Mark Blucas, Nicki Aycox (Jeepers Creepers II), Susan Sarandon's kid and Saved! scene stealer -- Eva Amurri, Andy Comeau (8 Heads in a Duffel Bag) and testicle-collector Naveen Andrews. The movie is about: "blue-collar man in a dying factory town whose life is jolted after becoming involved in a romantic triangle amid a spate of uncontrolled violence." How's that for specifics? Luckily, it comes from a book, so here is some more info -- it's a metaphorical werewolf story: "Syd was just another lonely working-class guy singing the steel-town blues. Then he met Nora. She's sensual, Erotic, Amoral. A creature of the night. And she's luring Syd across the line that few can cross -- and fewer survive: the line that separates man from beast." Oh, how terribly wonderful. I imagine that Blucas is Syd, and hopefully channeling more of the Prey for Rock & Roll mojo, than the lame Initiative lap-dog style, and I would hope that Amurri is Nora, but the role has probably gone to Aycox. Either way, they've ensnared me against my better judgment.

*Thanks to Victoria for catching that this isn't the director's first feature, as Variety reported. He directed Highlander: Endgame in 2000.

I'm not sure I would want to sign on to a movie called Kicked, Bitten and Scratched, but apparently Naomi Watts really took to the material (perhaps because she spent so much time being man-handled by a giant ape). The King Kong actress has signed on to star in an adaptation of Amy Sutherland's Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons and the World's Premiere School for Exotic Animal Trailers. Todd Louiso and Jacob Koskoff are penning the script, while Kristin Hahn, Dana Adam Shapiro and David Rubin will produce.

Developed as a romantic comedy, pic will follow Watts' character as she spends time in a teaching zoo, where students learn how to carefully handle animals such as baboons, cougars, wolves, snakes, rats and Jack Blacks. Wait, scratch that last one -- Jack Black hasn't signed on to this one. In fact, there's no handsome animal-loving male lead yet, but I'm sure one will be hand-picked from the Hollywood jungle sometime soon. I assume the romantic comedy angle will revolve around how easy it is for humans to communicate with animals, but not with each other. Louiso and Koskoff co-wrote The Marc Pease Experiment (which Louiso is also helming), starring Ben Stiller and Jason Schwartzman; he's also starred as the "somewhat pathetic guy" in a slew of movies including High Fidelity and Jerry Maguire. As of now, there's no word on a director.

The first time I heard about the movie Wild Hogs, I thought it might be about ... I dunno, a farm or something. Porcine invaders, run rampant! Farmers in peril! But no, it's actually about a bunch of middle-aged suburban guys who buy motorcycles (get it? hogs?) and hit the road seeking adventure. Waaait a second! This movie has nothing to do with pigs! I felt cheated, enlightened, confused and impressed. More or less.

Which got me thinking (always a dangerous prospect) about what other movies cleverly have animals in the titles ... but aren't about animals at all. There are tons, as it turns out. It's almost like a trend. For example, I'll be seeing a movie next week called Eagle vs. Shark, but it's not about an interspecies showdown; it's about two awkward misfits who fall in love (after dressing up in animal costumes). Here are some more:

Black Snake Moan
What It's Not About: A cobra in pain
What It Is About: A blues musician who attempts to "cure" a nymphomaniac of her sexual urges
What Does the Animal Represent? I've seen this movie, and I still have no idea. Maybe the nymphomania?

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
What It's Not About: A tabby trapped on top of a house ... in the summer
What It Is About: A Southern family in crisis
What Does the Animal Represent? Maggie "The Cat" Pollitt (Elizabeth Taylor), who tells her neglectful husband, "You know what I feel like? I feel all the time like a cat on a hot tin roof." (Ever the romantic, he replies, "Then jump off the roof, Maggie. Jump off it.")

10 Zen Monkeys has a pretty interesting article posted about squirrels, jazz music and Alvin & the Chipmunks. Apparently there's been an Alvin movie in development for a couple of years, spearheaded by Simpsons writer John Vitti.

Although the movie seems to be swirling on the edge of the whirlpool that is "development hell," the article covers some interesting facts. Did you know that the original creator of the Chipmunks, Ross Bagdasarian Sr., first came to fame by recording the song Witch Doctor in 1958? It's no surprise that the witch doctor in the song ("ting tang, walla walla big bang") sounded like Alvin. Bagdasarian would record on a reel-to-reel machine running at half-speed. When the tape was played normally, voila, Chipmunks! The success of Witch Doctor let Bagdasarian play around with the concept, and later in November of 1958, he released The Chipmunk Song. It went on to sell an astounding four and a half million records in seven weeks. From that one song was born the whole concept of Alvin, Simon and Theodore. It gave birth to a television series, tons of merchandise and made an overnight star out of the squeaky-voiced star.

Bagdasarian Sr. died abruptly in 1972, and his son, Ross Jr. and wife Janice, picked up the torch and brought a new Chipmunks series to television in 1983. They have since produced numerous albums and worked on numerous direct-to-video Chipmunk movies including: The Chipmunk Adventure, and Alvin & the mini-Munks. According to the Chipmunks.com site, Alvin & the mini-Munks is a blend of puppetry and CGI that is a work in progress, but it is unclear if this is the same film that Vitti is developing. We're guessing it's not. Hopefully something will happen to bring this project together. It has such an incredible backstory, and Alvin & the Chipmunks are great characters for a family-friendly franchise that needs to be reintroduced to a whole new generation of kids.

ALVIIIINNNNNNNN!

PS - as an added bonus, check out this both creepy and fascinating sound file which plays the Chipmunks at normal speed, and then half speed. You'll hear how Ross Sr. had to speak/sing when recording the Chipmunk lines.

The Air Bud movies are consider by many critics and scholars to be the greatest movies ever made about a dog that plays sports. There have been five movies in the series so far; two were theatrical releases and three were created specifically for video. It's been three years since the last installment came out, and people across the globe have been screaming, "Why, Hollywood? Why won't you make another movie where a dog does things with a ball for two hours?"

As it turns out, the Air Bud franchise hasn't breathed its last. This year will see the theatrical release of Air Buddies, at least according to IMDb. This time the plot apparently revolves around Buddy's puppies, who set out to rescue him and his wife Molly from dognappers. It sounds as if sports doesn't play a major role in this installment. This is unfortunate, because after seeing Bud play basketball, football, soccer, volleyball, and baseball, I was hoping the next movie would somehow involve fencing. I really wanted to see a dog running around with a sword in its mouth and jabbing people in the shins. Maybe they'll do that for the next movie.

Apparently the Air Bud series isn't enough for the suits at the Humane Society - they want more animal movies, and they want them now! To that end, they've created Animal Content in Entertainment (ACE), a division of the organization that was founded with the express purpose of encouraging "writers, producers and directors to make movies and TV shows featuring story lines about animals." Well, sure. I mean, on some level, we all secretly long for the glory days of Lassie and Old Yeller. Don't we?

In addition to bugging filmmakers about dog movies, ACE will present itself as a sort of animal clearing house to the film industry, providing assistance ranging from fact-checking to story ideas; from script consultation to discounted stock footage. Plus, if the division expands as the Humane Society hopes, it may soon be offering large grants to independent filmmakers - of course, they have to be making animal movies. Still, though, money is money.

I wonder if ACE will have any noticeable impact in the industry. I have to admit that the thought of push for more TV shows and movies with an animal focus sounds sort of insane to me - advocating such a thing is weird by itself, but imagining that an audience exists for these films and shows is a leap not many studios seem likely to make. (And, yes, I've heard of March of the Penguins. I'm thinking that's an exception rather than a grand, new, animal-movie rule.)