Here's where I get confused: If you knew a pair of people like the characters played by Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in the new feature-length sitcom pilot What Happens in Vegas, you'd probably hate them. Undoubtedly, in real life, you'd want to punch / mock / immediately walk away from people so outrageously stupid, selfish, and insufferable. So here's my question: Why would you actually PAY for the experience of meeting two such woeful and worthless people? It's not like there's much upside for you...

Pre-packaged movie star detritus of the most inane order, What Happens in Vegas offers an I Love Lucy premise, an Odd Couple leading duo, and a Three's Company screenplay. (I mean, like, season five Three's Company, when you could spot the flaccid punch-lines the split-second the set-up is delivered.) It's not like I went in gunning for the flick, because I happen to think that A) Ashton Kutcher is a fairly funny guy, B) Cameron Diaz is still (often) a generally appealing movie star, and C) "high concept" comedy can sometimes make for one colorful and energetic night at the cinema -- but I've been to writing seminars that offer more humor, creativity, and cleverness than what's on display here. And trust me, writing seminars have none of those things.

Oh, Ashton. He's the little train that just keeps on trying. At least this latest bit of news doesn't have anything to do with romantic comedy. That, at least, is a plus. According to Ace Showbiz, Ashton Kutcher visited Ryan Seacrest's radio show yesterday and told the host that he's starting to think about making a feature film of Punk'd: "I was actually walking down the street in New York yesterday and thought, 'What if I did Punk'd: The Movie? Like a full on feature film of Punk'd.'"

But it also seems to be more than just the passing notion that he suggests. Kutcher went on to say: "I got a plan. But if I reveal the plan then everyone's going to know when it's going down." To me, that says that he's planning one big, full-scale trick on a whole lot of his celebrity friends.

I must admit: I've watched a few episodes back in the day and they can be funny, in the same way any elaborate joke is. But can it make a good feature film? Sure, Jackass headed to the big screen a few times, but that's a whole different sort of film. Shocked celebrity faces and laughter isn't quite the same thing as rabid stupidity in action with crazy injury.

But, what do you say? Wanna get Punk'd?

I will totally admit to bashing this movie when I first heard about it, but I have to say it has some pretty funny jokes. I LOL'd at least four times during this latest trailer (just released by Moviefone) for What Happens in Vegas, and I can't remember the last time I LOL'd at anything starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. See, it's all about Rob Corddry. Put that guy in anything and you're guaranteed a few funny bits. I love the part where Kutcher finds a bunch of hot girls in his living room, and he calls Corddry to tell him there's a hot girl party at his house. The exchange between the two earned bonus laugh points from me. And the trailer is cut together pretty well, with the laughs increasing as it plays out. Kudos to whoever put it together.

What Happens in Vegas stars Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher as two random strangers who meet one night in Vegas, get wasted and subsequently get married by drunken mistake. However, while they're parting ways the next morning -- admitting their stupid mistakes -- both wind up winning a three million dollar jackpot. It was her quarter, but he put it in. When a judge sentences them to "six months of hard marriage" these two strangers -- who now despise one another -- will have to find a way to make it work. Think The Break-Up meets War of the Roses. I dunno, looks kinda cute.

What Happens in Vegas hits theaters on May 9 (my birthday!). Check out the trailer above, or head over to Moviefone to watch it in glorious HD.

That picture up there is the official one-sheet for the upcoming romcom What Happens in Vegas. If we went by this poster, the movie looks like one of those cheek-pinchingly happy romcoms full of Vegas weddings and matrimonial bliss. But this is the movie where Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher fall to the huge Las Vegas cliche -- hitting Sin City to forget their problems, while getting drunk and getting married.

The twist -- they play a slot machine as they decide to dissolve the marriage and win $3 million, so splitting up isn't so easy. They're sentenced to 6 months of "hard marriage" by a judge who freezes their winnings. It's just so romantic! Both of them act like asses to the other, and then, oh my god, they realize that they're meant to be! They fall for each other! Yeah, I'm being really hard on this, but c'mon -- Ashton is notorious for his bad romcoms, and the trailer is just a melange of stereotypes and over-done jokes that doesn't seem to offer anything fresh. Cameron and Ashton get hitched on May 9.

What do you think?

Last month, I wondered how Jennifer Jason Leigh could sign on for an indie romcom starring Ashton Kutcher -- the man notorious for his bad romantic comedies. She was set to co-star in Spread, the classy-titled indie comedy where Ashton is a serial womanizer and Jennifer would be the thwarted lover -- so, not only a goofy Kutcher movie, but one where he gets to cast her off! But now, however, The Hollywood Reporter posts that one week after signing on, Leigh backed out of the project for undisclosed reasons. Her replacement will be -- Anne Heche.

Rumors suggest that Leigh is pregnant, but you can't help but wonder if she just got cold feet. Production is starting immediately, so it's not like the pregnancy worry would impact things that much right now. As for Heche, well, I'm less surprised about her casting, although maybe a Kutcher film isn't the best thing to follow up her success in Men in Trees. Eh, we'll have to wait and see. Maybe this will be a great romcom, and Jason Dean Hall's script and David Mackenzie's direction will make it all come up roses.

I've got to wonder now... According to IMDb, Laura Linney is attached. What on earth attracted Linney and Leigh to a Kutcher romcom?

I just don't know what to say about this news. It's not like Jennifer Jason Leigh only picks the cream of the crop as far as films go. She has done voices for things like Spawn and Hey Arnold!, but for the most part, she picks decent films or some sort of art house/indie fare. So, what in the world made her decide to co-star with Ashton Kutcher in a sex comedy? Well, it is indie, but that doesn't sound like enough of a qualifier to me.

Variety reports that Kutcher and Leigh will star in the comedy, which has the lascivious name of Spread, and Ashton's Katalyst shingle is producing. The film will "chronicle the adventures of a serial womanizer (Kutcher); Leigh will play a thwarted lover." It's Jason Dean Hall's first feature script, and will be helmed by David MacKenzie, the director behind Young Adam and Hallam Foe. Maybe Ashton nabbed the part because of his production company?

Yeah, I know that I'm being hard on the guy. But really, aside from That '70s Show, or even Dude, Where's My Car?, he's left a wasteland of crappy romcoms -- Just Married, My Boss's Daughter, Guess Who, A Lot Like Love... I'm pretty sure What Happens in Vegas will soon be on the list as well. But you have to give him credit -- he still keeps getting the roles.

Just after Christmas last year, Erik Davis threw up a still from What Happens in Vegas, the new movie starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. The romcom is about two people who fall into the typical cliche -- they've both had some problems in their lives, so they go to Las Vegas to blow off steam. There, they meet, get trashed, and get married. However, this time around, there's a big catch. Just as they're about to part ways and hunt down someone who can get them an annulment, they win $3 million. A judge then freezes their money and sentences them to, well, their marriage. Following the usual romcom rules, the two despise and torment each other, yet grow to love one another.

I'm betting this isn't one of those films that's going to go very far. (Because I Said So!) It will probably pull in a decent chunk of change right away and then fizzle off quickly, unless the big laughs aren't being shown in the trailer, which was just posted on the film's official website.

The one bit of this that I actually enjoyed -- a scene of Kutcher urinating into a sink. However, my appreciation of that scene wasn't because it was funny, but because I once knew a guy who would relieve himself in basement utility sinks rather than use the bathroom in the middle of the night and risk waking anyone up. But that's just my experience...I hope.

[via JoBlo]

Yesterday, we unloaded a bunch of movie pics on you from Universal Pictures upcoming 2008 slate (including two new pics from The Incredible Hulk). Today, we have a few more for you, courtesy of Universal once again, as well as a few other studios who have also unveiled their 2008 calendar. The first image (see above) is from 20th Century Fox's upcoming comedy What Happens in Vegas, starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. The photo comes with the caption: "A night of debauchery culminated with impromptu - and soon regretted - nuptials for Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz in What Happens in Vegas." Considering these are two of the most annoying actors working today, here's hoping what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Zing!

From Disney's official 2008 preview comes the first image from the animated film Bolt, which you can view below. Bolt stars the voice of John Travolta as a dog who is the star of a hit TV show. However, when Bolt accidentally gets shipped from his Hollywood soundstage to New York City, he sets out on a cross-country trip through the real world. Here's more from the synopsis: "Armed only with the delusions that all his amazing feats and powers are real, and with the help of two unlikely traveling companions: a jaded, abandoned housecat named Mittens (voice of Susie Essman) and a TV-obsessed hamster in a plastic ball named Rhino, Bolt discovers he doesn't need superpowers to be a hero."

OK, so while it probably isn't the most exciting news I've heard today, it certainly is a scoop on some unlikely casting. Sources for ComingSoon are reporting that Michelle Pfeiffer is set to star alongside Ashton Kutcher in the Rick Moody adaptation, Personal Effects. The film is based on Moody's story, Mansion on the Hill, from the book Demonology. Kutcher will play Andrew Wakefield; a young man who is hired by a high-end wedding planning business right after his sister is killed in an accident on her own wedding day. In the original story, Andrew is irreparably damaged by the loss of his sister and even seeks out a bizarre revenge against her fiancée. The story then cuts between Andrew's memories of his sister and his new life in the business of marriage. David Hollanger wrote the adaptation and is also attached to direct. Hollanger is an American TV writer and producer and Personal Effects would be his first feature film.

I think it's fair to say that when you think of the darker side of character studies (the story is from the same man who wrote the Ice Storm after all), you don't think of Kutcher -- but maybe he will surprise us all, you never know. Details about the film are pretty sketchy at this point, although news of the film is already making its way around the net. That is unless this is all somebody's idea of a practical joke. Kutcher is currently filming the comedy What Happens in Vegas (which seems a little better suited to his talents) and Pfeiffer is in talks to star in Chasing Montana. Effects is reportedly set to start filming on location in Vancouver, Canada later this month. But on the off chance there is somebody out there who is waiting with bated breath for Kutcher's dramatic debut; stay tuned, and we'll let you know as soon as we hear something official.

If it wasn't for those Shiny Happy Fabio followers, comedian Zach Galifianakis would've stopped Bubble Boy before his journey even began. (He was the ankle-weight-wearing bus dude who wouldn't give the kid a nice, cheap discount.) Since then, he's been a hacker, a homeless man, Santa, a friend of time-traveling Tru, and taught a certain kid about hunting Into the Wild -- just to name a few. Now he's got two more roles on the way, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

One of the roles will be in Tom Vaughn's What Happens in Vegas. He's going to play "Dave the Bear," Jack's (Ashton Kutcher) anti-marriage best friend who is less than happy when Jack marries Joy (Cameron Diaz) during a drunken night in Vegas. As I told you when news broke on the project, the pair get hitched and then undermine each other to get the big payout they win in Vegas. I imagine the Bear will plot against the aptly-named Joy, as THR says he's playing her nemesis.

For role number two, Galifianakis is going to get scientific by starring in the Disney/Bruckheimer flick, G-Force. His role is that of "the lead government scientist in charge of a guinea pig commando program, helping [to] send the highly trained elite agents on a dangerous mission." Elite animal agents, that is. Sounds like appropriate wacky-scientist casting to me. But for now, we've got Largo, Visioneers, and Little Fish, Strange Pond on the way -- all of which are in post-production.