asylum Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Yep, there's actually a movie called Transmorphers, and it slides into "select" video stores just in time for the theatrical release of Transformers. Some call it copy-catting at its most shameless, some opt to call it fortuitous timing ... and most people will never even hear of Transmorphers, aside from the hardcore movie geeks and the curious 14-year-olds of the world. Produced by the outfit that gave you The Da Vinci Treasure, Pirates of Treasure Island and Snakes on a Train, Leigh Scott's low-low-budget Transmorphers is (of course) unquestionably, obviously and in all ways blatantly BAD ... but here's the key question: Is it any fun?

Everyone has several different definitions of "fun" and one of mine is this: A cheap knock-off turkey that mixes the giant robots of Transformers, the sexual politics (and uniforms) of Starship Troopers, the hero of Pitch Black, the subterranean existence of The Matrix, the post-apocalyptic struggle of The Terminator, a whole bunch of arbitrary emo angst borrowed from Battlestar Galactica, and about fifteen other components from sci-fi flicks as varied as Serenity and Jason X. It's a weird and grungy little concoction, but between the florid bouts of soap opera whatnot and the special effects that fondly remind one of Land of the Lost -- there's definitely enough here to warrant an 83-minute visit, but (seriously) only if you're well-versed in the art of bad cinema. There's enough bad acting, ripe writing and chintzy production design to fill three Uwe Boll movies, but like the works of that particular master, there's something brain-twistingly amusing about the whole goofy affair.

A few months back I shared (with much amusement) the news that the Transmorphers were scheduled to be released from The Asylum just in time to ride the massive global wake of Michael Bay's Transformers ... and now we have a trailer to share! (The Asylum, as you no doubt remember, is the production company that gave you The Da Vinci Treasure, Pirates of Treasure Island and the legendary Snakes on a Train. Up next: Universal Soldiers, Aliens vs. Hunters and Invasion of the Pod People!)

Click right here to enjoy all the low-budget and shamelessly "borrowed" stylings of Leigh Scott's Transmorphers -- which actually kinda looks like fun, if you ask me. (Then again, Mr. Scott's Hillside Cannibals, Dragon and The Hitchhiker also looked "kinda fun." Well, maybe not ... the DVD cover art was nifty, anyway.) Provided the Asylum guys don't skimp on the action, I can forgive some semi-sketchy special effects. Looks like Transmorphers (starring Matthew Wolf, Amy Weber and Eliza Swenson) is scheduled to hit video stores on June 26. So THAT explains why Paramount decided to bump Transformers up and day and a half! I knew there had to be a reason! Poor Michael Bay must be shaking in his gold-lined boots.

But back to the trailer. Thoughts? Comments? Lawsuits?

[ Thanks to Film Ick for the heads up. ]

Oh man do I love those knuckleheads over at The Asylum. Seems like whenever a big movie arrives, they're just one step ahead (or a quick step behind) with their own (much cheaper) version. Beginning in the summer of 2005, when David Latt (whom we interviewed right here at Cinematical) preceded Spielberg's War of the Worlds with his own rendition of the same story, these guys have been churning out the B-movie cheese at a really impressive clip. Here's a recap:

• King Kong -- King of the Lost World
• The Exorcism of Emily Rose -- Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers
• When a Stranger Calls -- When a Killer Calls
• The Hills Have Eyes -- Hillside Cannibals
• The Da Vinci Code -- The Da Vinci Treasure
• The Omen -- 666: The Child
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates of Treasure Island
• Snakes on a Plane -- Snakes on a Train
• Eragon -- Dragon
• The Hitcher -- The Hitchhiker
• Primeval / Rogue -- SuperCroc

But the best is yet to come. According to the IMDb, the flick is known as Robot Wars, but over at the official Asylum website, you'll see a gloriously cheesy poster with the title "Transmorphers" plastered all over it. Written and directed by Asylum regular Leigh Slawner, Transmorphers is scheduled to hit video shelves on June 26 ... just about a week before Michael Bay's Transformers invades the universe. The cast includes names like Amy Weber, Matt Wolf, Eliza Swenson and Griff Furst as "Itchy," and the official plot synopsis goes like this: "A race of alien robots has conquered the Earth and forced humanity underground. After three hundred years of domination, a small group of humans develop a plan to defeat the mechanical invaders in the ultimate battle between man and machine."

Awesome! Can't wait to see it -- and whatever those Asylum lunatics cook up next. My suggestions for future projects: The Born Spy, Fantastic Five and Harvey Putter and the Clan of the Griffin. Anyone else have any ideas?

Odds and ends from Monday:

• I don't know about you, but I sure was wondering which project David R. Ellis would choose to follow up Snakes on a Plane. Monkeys on an Escalator? Elephants on a Corporate Retreat? Nope. Nada. Zip. Variety announced that Ellis has been tapped to direct Asylum for Hyde Park Entertainment. Though no snakes are involved in this one, pic will center around a group of college freshman who learn their dorm used to be an insane asylum. Not for nothing, but my college dorm was full of nutjobs. However, something tells me the infamous "freshman fifteen" is the least these kids need to worry about.
• Ahh, there's nothing like taking a nice, relaxing cruise to help reignite your marriage. Well, that's unless you're part of a horror script that was just picked up by Touchstone Pictures. Brothers Noah and Alexi Hawley unloaded their script, Dead in the Water, which marks their first sale as a writing team. Pic will follow a couple who, while traveling on a cruise, become engulfed in some horrific nightmare after the ship picks up a mysterious man at sea.
• Are you one of those people who walk around quoting lines from Wall Street constantly in order to impress friends who wish you would just shut up already? Well, 20 years after the original film starring Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen hit the screen, comes word that a sequel is definitely in the works. According to Moviehole via "someone at FOX," Oliver Stone and Michael Douglas are currently writing the script, which would be set 20 years after the first. Story will pick up as Gordon Gecko is released from prison and will follow the sleaze as he attempts to adapt in a completely different world. Most likely, Sheen will not be back. But, knowing both Stone and Douglas are involved does make me feel somewhat good about it. You?

You know those movies that really stake a claim in your memory banks -- even if you can't always remember the title? As one of the planet's biggest and most verbose horror geeks, I can't tell you how many emails I've received with this question: "What's that movie where the girl gets chased around her apartment by a freaky voodoo doll??" (OK, I can tell you: Maybe four emails in seven years.)

Anyway, the movie in question is an anthology called Trilogy of Terror, and it's a Zuni Fetish Doll that pursues the shrieking young woman (actually Karen Black) around her apartment in the film's final segement. And to say that this movie has made an impact on folks would be a massive understatement -- even my mother knows this movie! (There was even a sequel, but it's not all that good.)