No more does the "next Orlando Bloom" crown descend than Ben Barnes begins racking up the lead roles. Currently onscreen as the titular Prince Caspian, Barnes is set to tackle a literary classic -- the title role in The Portrait of Dorian Gray.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Gray is actually in really good hands. It's being helmed by director Oliver Parker, and produced by Barnaby Thompson, the team behind An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest. I thought both were splendid, so I'm immediately intrigued. (Others may disagree, but that's what the comments are for.)

Parker plans to "make a visceral, dark horror story" and says the themes of stardom are as relevant as ever. It's set to begin filming at the end of July.

I haven't seen Prince Caspian yet, so I can't judge Barnes' acting ability. Neither Jette nor Jeffery had anything too negative to say about him in their reviews, apart from his accent. My sister, who beats me to nearly every movie, said he was gorgeous but unremarkable. (Actually, what she said was meaner, but I'm not going to repeat it.) So, what say you Caspian watchers -- think this nice looking boy is Wilde material?

Frankly, I think if they're going to tackle Dorian Gray, they ought to have an actor who really must have a portrait rotting in his garret. I'm thinking primarily of Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp. The way they look just isn't right.

For five years, there have been rumors floating around about another St. Trinian's movie. Based on cartoons from British cartoonist Ronald Searle, there were a series of films in the 50's and 60's, followed by one terribly-received stab in 1980. St. Trinian's is a fictional girl's school full of wicked girls and questionable teachers. In 2002, there was talk about Rupert Everett and Kylie Minogue starring in the feature. However, word fizzled until now, and it is looking, frankly, delectable! Variety has listed the cast set to star in the latest remake -- Emily Watson, Colin Firth, Russell Brand and as earlier reports hoped, Rupert Everett.

I'm not sure on Watson's role. Variety has her in the "central teacher" part as previously played by Joyce Grenfell, but she actually played Sargeant Ruby Gates. Firth will play Geoffrey Thwaites (according to IMDb) and Brand will be Flash Harry, a small-time crook and bad influence on the schoolgirls. But, the best is Everett -- he will cross-dress for this role, playing both the headmistress and her brother. That's enough of a reason for me. Other cast includes Caterina Murino from Casino Royale, Jodie Whittaker from Venus, Talulah Riley (Pride & Prejudice) and Tamsin Egerton. As if that's not enough, there's also cameos scheduled for Richard E. Grant and Stephen Fry. This isn't a film, it's a British film fan's wet dream! Production will start at the end of this month, and will be the directorial debut of Barnaby Thompson, who is co-directing with Oliver Parker.