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How to Eat an Oscar Nominee

Filed under: Fandom », Movie Marketing », Oscar Watch »

Ever wished you could lick Leo DiCaprio's cheek? Whisper sweet nothings in Helen Mirren's ear? Our sister site Slashfood pointed the way over to Eleni's Bakery in NYC where you can order a cabooble of celebrity sweets for your Oscar-watching bash. The cookies are a little on the spendy side -- $58.50 gets you either the Best Actor or Best Actress set. Each gets you 16 cookies -- three cookies of each of the five nominees plus a "sealed envelope" cookie. You can also get the Hollywood Quotes set or the Best Picture set.

These are some nice-looking cookies, and frankly, I'm not sure if I spent over $60 (counting shipping) to get them, that I'd let anyone eat else them. I get protective over my favorite Girl Scout cookies when the supply runs low, and those Samoas are only $4 a box. So maybe I'd freeze the Best Actors in a gilded box, carefully individually wrapped in vacuum-sealed freezer bags. The hard part would be deciding who to eat first, and in what order. I'm thinking I'd eat all three of the winners cookies in one mad celebratory moment on Oscar night, along with the sealed envelope. As for the runners-up, I'd eat one Best Actor nominee a month, while soaking in a candlelit, lavender-scented bath, and drinking a White Russian.

Which nominee would you most like to nibble? And would you spend that kind of dough to have these cookies at your Oscar party?

Golden Globes: A Boring Evening Comes To A Close

Filed under: Awards »

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is up to present something. He looks kind of bizarre with a mustache. Best Actress Movie Drama now. The Golden Globe goes to Helen Mirren in The Queen. Looks like her Oscar chances just went up to about 115 percent. It's not even possible that she could lose it now. She must have been cut off in mid-speech. One second she was speaking, and then I turned around and it was a commercial. Nope - my friend says she just got off very quickly.

The Back to the Future commercial again! I demand to know why Robert Zemeckis would allow something like this to be made. I want a full investigation, immediately! Felicity Huffman now....Best Actor...Leo for Blood Diamond....Leo for The Departed...Will Smith for Happyness....Forrest Whittaker for Scotland...Peter O'Toole for Venus. Will Leo cancel himself out? Yep. Forrest Whittaker wins for some movie I never saw, and that everyone told me was mediocre. Whoopee.

Arnold is going to give the award for best picture. The honorable Arnold, I mean. No way he's on crutches for real. This is a gag. Barbell? I think he means Babel. The Golden Globe goes to Babel. Not a bad film. Are they going to let Brad Pitt speak or are they going to make everyone turn off their TVs early? Did the director just make a joke about illegal immigration? That's appropriate for an awards ceremony. He's going on a little long -- yep, he just got the music. Well, looks like that ends a completely boring, uneventful evening. Thank God it's over. Does anyone actually watch this show? I mean, really -- what kind of numbers are we talking about?

Mirren Takes Over Venice

Filed under: Awards », Fandom », DIY/Filmmaking », Newsstand », Other Festivals »

It's time to celebrate Helen Mirren's win for best actress over at the Venice Film festival for her latest role as the title character in Steven Frears' The Queen. She has long been one my top five favorite actresses for her ingenious work in roles like The Queen and The Madness of King George, for which she was nominated, and overlooked, for the best supporting actress Academy Award. I also loved her playing opposite Fionnula Flannagan in the IRA political drama Some Mother's Son. She flashed her comedy chops (and so much more than that) as Chris Harper in Calendar Girls. Oh, and you best believe I own and revere the entire Prime Suspect library.

But I think my favorite role of hers has to be as Mrs. Wilson in the brilliant, yet underappreciated Robert Altman masterpiece (and utter Britfest) Gosford Park. She plays a very on-task head-servant in this old-fashioned murder mystery, wearing little to no makeup, and facial expressions varying only slightly from determined concentration throughout the entire movie. Also one cannot ignore the mysterious inner depths she manages to channel (and so subtly reveal) while doing so little. Folks, this is what makes an actress great.

Golden Globes: Best Actress - Drama

Filed under: Awards »

In a choice that proves the Hollywood Foreign Press likes people with issues as much as the Academy does, Felicity Huffman wins for her apparently incredible work as a transsexual in Transamerica. She's wearing an awesome dress, by the way - despite that, however, the crowd is bored. Or at least she thinks it is. Happily, she's ignoring them and just doing her thing. (Aw. Her mom thinks little Felicity is on a TV show called The Women. That's sort of close - I wonder which one of them is Joan Crawford.) She also salutes "the men and women who brave ostracism, alienation, and a life lived on the margins to become who they really are," (Thank you, Tivo.) which strikes me as much classier than Tom Hanks outing a guy to honor him when he won for being marginalized.

Golden Globe Predictions: Best Actress - Musical or Comedy

Filed under: Comedy », Music & Musicals », Awards », DIY/Filmmaking », Oscar Watch »

Because the Golden Globes split up (don't even get me started on why I think this is a stupid idea) their best actor and actress awards into two categories - drama and musical or comedy, I feel they're a bit easier to predict. This is a fun year for best actress seeing as the category is dominated by award virgins (talking film here), mixed with an indie veteran and an old timer. While the veterans have won the last two years (Annette Benning and Diane Keaton), I feel this is the year where some new blood will ultimately rise to the top. Let's check this out...

 The Nominees:

  1. Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents) - With her performance as the widowed Mrs. Henderson, hell bent on doing something a bit more daring with her life, Judi Dench once again finds herself amongst the year's best. The old timer in this group of five, Dench has proved before she doesn't need a ton of screen time in order to scoop up an award. In 1992, she won the best supporting Oscar for Shakespeare in Love after only 8 minutes on screen. However, with a quiet film (Jette described it as "one of those "prestige" pictures that you can watch with your dear old Mom ... provided your Mom won't be offended by the unclothed young ladies.") and tough competition, will it be enough to score the Globe?
  2. Keira Knightley (Pride & Prejudice) - This film is based on the Jane Austen novel; Knightley plays Elizabeth; one of five sisters whose lives are turned upside down when two gentlemen arrive in their neighborhood. According to Ryan, Elizabeth is "an 18th-century fox, with tucked hair as short as a witch and legs taut and soccer-trained to deliver a swift strike to the generous derriere of her doppelganger, Bridget Jones." After taking home a Hollywood Film Award for Best Breakthrough Actor in 2004, this is Knightley's first time playing with the big boys...and it's all but guaranteed that it will not be her last.
  3. Laura Linney (The Squid and the Whale) - Known for taking on roles of women who seem completely wholesome on the outside, yet complex on the inside, I would consider Linney an A-list indie actress. She's been nominated for both a Golden Globe and an Oscar for her performances in You Can Count on Me and Kinsey, however she's never quite been able to acquire the recognition she deserves. In The Squid and the Whale, Linney once again plays a troubled woman whose passion for writing leads to the downfall of her marriage and an affair with a younger man. Though her performance is powerful, as usual, it's only worthy of a nomination...not a win.
  4. Sarah Jessica Parker (The Family Stone) - Like me, you're probably wondering where in the world Sarah Jessica Parker came from this year. Well, we know where she came from but what the hell is she doing with a Golden Globe nomination for, of all films, The Family Stone? This is Parker's first time on the film side of the Globes after previously winning for Sex in the City on the television side. Here, she plays an uptight girlfriend brought home for the holidays to meet her man's large and extremely WASP-like family. Though the film is labeled a comedy in its previews, there are definitely deeper and more dramatic elements to it. For all we know, Parker could steal a surprise win this year, but I wouldn't go and put any money on it.
  5. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) - Breaking away from the light and delicate romantic comedies, Witherspoon surprised us all with her portrayal of June Carter in Walk the Line. Playing Johnny Cash's road companion and eventual love interest, Witherspoon delivers a spoonful of southern charm with a mix of gritty "stand by your man" attitude. This is a whole new arena for the Legally Blonde actress and some feel she's a lock all the way through Oscar. Like her co-star, Joaquin Phoenix, she will have to win here in order to prove they're right.

My Prediction:

  • Reese Witherspoon - If I were a gambling man, I'd go with Sarah Jessica Parker here. Because she sticks out and because the Globes are notoriously known for their wacky surprises, you'd think Parker was lined up perfectly to be one of those surprises. However, since the performances in Walk the Line cannot be ignored and because I feel Brokeback Mountain will take home the big awards, Witherspoon will join Phoenix in side-by-side best actor and actress wins.
 
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