Now in its 11th year, the CineVegas Film Festival is still trying to establish its identity in the festival world. Should it be glitzy and glamorous (and gaudy and tacky) like Vegas? Or should it be a champion of up-and-coming indie films with no stars and no Hollywood connections? Either way, CineVegas has already settled on one point: Its parties are every bit as dazzling and boozy -- and numerous -- as you'd expect from a Las Vegas-based fest.

Cast in point: Friday night's official 10th anniversary party, held poolside on the roof of one of the Palms Resort Casino's buildings. The DJ-facilitated music was thumpin', the bars were giving out complimentary vodka drinks courtesy of sponsor Grey Goose (they stopped just short of filling the pool with the stuff), and there were plenty of tasty snacks and desserts. Everyone was there, including the film critics and reporters (who tended to be under-dressed), the filmmakers, and the CineVegas pass-holders (who tended to be over-dressed, which is the general rule in Vegas).

And you know who else was there? Britney Spears.

So, over on Vanity Fair, they have this piece up on the relative importance of Britney Spears and why even respectable magazines such as VF have dipped their toes into covering, first Paris Hilton, and now Britney. Matt Pressman ponders in the piece:

In fact, this recent spate of "serious" coverage, combined with the uncomfortable fact that no dinner conversation can proceed for more than 15 minutes without the name Britney being invoked, raises a sinister question: is Britney Spears-along with, perhaps, President Bush-the most important cultural figure in America?

Maybe in Pressman's house, Britney is a frequent topic of dinner conversation, but she's certainly not in mine. If we're not talking to the kids about their current obsessions (Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, My Little Pony and Twilight), we're talking about how to best get our fledging organic garden going or mulling over the latest in the ongoing Clinton-Obama debacle. But Britney? Not so much.

Long story short: A two-year-old video featuring Heath Ledger at a party where drugs were being consumed was purchased by Entertainment Tonight for a large sum of money (some are saying $200,000), and the show, as well as The Insider, planned to air the video in an attempt to "understand why Ledger died." Ledger's former PR firm sent out a mass email protesting the video, folks everywhere cried "poor taste" and ET ultimately decided not to air it. One imagines said video will arrive on YouTube within 24 hours, and at that time it will be everywhere; the secret video everyone will pretend they didn't watch.

Here's my question: Where do you draw the line? Almost everything these shows put on the air is in poor taste. So, instead of the Ledger video, they'll do 15 minutes on Britney Spears -- what she wore to the hospital, what she said to the doctor, how big her sh*t was that morning. This stuff -- this stalking of Britney Spears -- is okay. Airing a video showing Heath Ledger drinking a beer, while some dude snorts coke in the corner? Not okay. That's in poor taste. You should respect the Ledger family. What about the family of every other actor or actress who's caught doing something stupid? Where's the respect for them? There is no respect. You think the folks at ET respect Ledger or his family? They couldn't give two sh*ts about these people ... unless something they do is going to bring them more viewers. Hence, the video.

It's a pretty sick world we live in. I've watched this TMZ show on television, where the staff gets together and they write a bunch of stuff on a board. At the top of that board, it should read: How Will We Ruin Someone's Life Today? Isn't it sick to know that all of these people -- the shows, the websites, the magazines -- make all their money off humiliating other people? That that's a huge business; the business of humiliation. And then they go home at night to their wife, their significant other, their children -- and they attempt to be a good role model. " Help Jimmy with his math homework after you're done photo-shopping that pic of Britney's vagina, please."

It's about to get a smidge gossipy in here, but once I read these stories back-to-back, I had to write up these bits for you...

First up: Early Obituaries
There's death pools for the masses, and early obits written up by the press just in case the sometimes-inevitable happens. Why waste time writing it up and losing the scoop if you can just hear the news, grab the story, and click "publish"? Well, that's what the Associate Press thinks about Britney Spears, according to Ace Showbiz. The AP have confirmed that they are preparing a blurb for that possibility, and editor Jesse Washington says: "We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it's easily one of the biggest stories in a long time. I think one would agree that Britney seems at risk right now. Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody, and hope that we would never have to use it until 50 years from now ...but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared." Topping this off, Ace says she has chronic mood disorder and is predicted to die in six months if she doesn't get treatment. Poor Spears. Her problems seem never-ending.

Meanwhile... Morgues!
While some people are waiting for Britney to hit the slab, Yahoo reports that Lindsay Lohan will have to visit one. Still in her first legal drinking year (21), Lohan will have to work at a morgue as part of her misdemeanor drunk driving punishment. She's gone to rehab, done some community service, and now she has to do two 4-hour days at the morgue -- "part of a court-ordered program to show drivers the real-life consequences of drinking and driving." Topping that off, she'll also have to spend two days in a hospital ER. I'm sure that will be all sorts of scary for Lohan, but considering how many damned stars and celebs drink and drive, I think all of them should be put in this program.

But all hope is not lost, Wonder Woman is coming!
Justice League is kaput, and that whole live-action project for the lady with the lasso isn't going anywhere, but that doesn't mean we can't get more Wonder Woman. TV Guide reported recently that their sources say that there's a straight-to-DVD animated Wonder Woman feature on the way, and Keri Russell will be voicing the epic, Amazonian heroine. That leads me to wonder (pun!), should she pull off the voice well (and these rumors are true), could Russell also make it work in a live-action setting? Stay tuned!

I admit it: I have a pretty big soft spot for Russ Meyer's Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! It was the first movie I rented after moving out of rural land and discovering urban video stores that had all the old classics, hard-to-find flicks, and cult greats. It marked a new era in my movie-going life, but I think that even if this was some movie I hated, or never even heard of, I'd still throw up in my mouth a little over this piece of news. Liz Smith over at Variety says that Quentin Tarantino is itching to remake the 1966 cult classic. Normally, this would be fine. I usually enjoy, or even love, what he puts up on the big screen. But cult fans -- Tarantino seems to have lost his marbles.

Smith goes on to say that he's got his first casting choices set -- Kim Kardashian (Sure, why not?), Eva Mendes (I can dig it...), and Britney Spears. Yes -- wacky, unstable, and driving 100 mph towards a sturdy, brick wall, Crazy Lady Spears. That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Hell, I'm even with Smith on ditching Spears and picking up La Lohan. Why? The latter might have her share of tabloid turmoil, but at least she's got some acting chops in there as well. A little craziness and some acting talent -- that's just what a Pussycat remake would need. Besides -- would he wants Spears on the set? Just imagine the tabloid fodder that would bring.

Yes! I must forget this news for a bit to maintain my sanity, so let's play a game: Should Britney get the gig, and bring her tabloid life to the film set, how would it play out? Muse below!

So I've been watching this whole Britney Spears drama unfold today, and it got me thinking about the kind of biopics we'll be seeing in 10-15 years; the sort of stuff that will be based on the fascinating lives people are living right now. I hate to be the one who says this -- and as much as she's a total trainwreck, I still hope she pulls through -- but are we really that far away from waking up in the morning to TMZ breaking the news of Britney Spears' unfortunate death? Yeah, you've got Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton -- two giant headaches; there's no denying that. But Spears is in a league of her own. She's right there. She's on the verge of leaving this planet ... and it's almost like the media want her to die in some absurd way because they'll have their story of the year.

And then after she dies, MSNBC will run non-stop coverage (though it's an election year, so Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood will win out in the end), interviewing the editor of In Touch Magazine 30 times throughout the day, asking them this same question: How come no one was there to help this girl out? And while the editor from In Touch Magazine talks, they'll show the same music video montage -- Britney in a school girl uniform, Britney in leather, Britney at the VMA awards. Larry King will bring on her mother. Then her father. And if he's lucky, he'll get a pregnant Jamie Lynn. The trifecta! You go Larry! The film sites (including Cinematical) will try to find a way to spin the story in a way that announces which jackass first nabs her life rights for a biopic, and that will be it. The end of Britney.

Until the day comes for a biopic. And we run through the names of a few up-and-comers trying to decide who should play Britney. I'll probably write the post, and say something like -- "I vote for Lohan, since she already knows how to sing and could probably pull off a believable Britney." And how ironic would it be if that performance is what nabs Lohan an Oscar nod? Nah ... too soon. Too soon. Maybe Jamie Lynn would play Britney, in a fitting tribute to the girl who taught her how to have stupid sex at 16. But you know what? It doesn't have to go there. Now is the time for her f**king family to drop whatever sh*t is stored in that warehouse they call an attic and get this girl some help. Because when and if it ever happens, I want Britney to star in her own biopic. And I want it to end with her smiling at the camera, with her middle finger in the air, as she goes ... "See, I survived. And f*ck you Perez Hilton!" (Only the MPAA will ask her to remove the word 'f*ck' in order to get the film down to a PG-13 rating. And we'll probably write a post about it.)

Things haven't been smooth sailing for Britney Spears. She's been tabloid fodder for ages now with tales of her emotional instability, messing up enough that Kevin Federline has become the stable one, and most recently, the fact that her lawyers have quit, saying that she's "impossible" to represent. It hasn't been pretty. You'd think that with her buckets of personal trouble she'd dip out of the spotlight and regroup, but not quite. MSNBC reports that she might be headed back to the big screen to star in a film called Memoirs of A Medicated Child.

According to 2 Guys and A Dream Films head Tommy Parker, the film will be based on the story of a man named Mark Black, who "was medicated as a child after he broke a bathroom window at school. He then battled with medicine for 27 years." Apparently, he finally got out of this pill cycle when he was in prison and started refusing his meds. This sounds like a fairly serious story, right? It's like Garden State without the romantic adventure. But as if the inclusion of Spears wasn't enough to throw this project into doubt, Andy Dick is also on the cast list, along with Adam Ropp, Samantha Falk, Ross Tyler, Peter Iacangelo, and Julie Gribble.

What would make them want Spears? (Or Dick, for that matter?) Sure, she's got the tabloid presence, but if she can't even make it to court hearings for her kids, how will she make it to set everyday when production begins later this month? Did they learn nothing from LiLo's problems last year? Personally, I can't begin to take this project seriously, but it has piqued my interest in a train wreck sort of way... How about you?

The current issue of Entertainment Weekly features a cover story on "The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood." Last week, Monika commented on that list, stating that it's not as fun reading about smarties as it is reading about the dummies. Well, in response to EW, New York's Daily News ran its own list of the "Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood." Not surprisingly, sitting in the number one spot is Lindsay Lohan. An obvious choice since she's been the subject of more bad decisions -- at least that the media has concentrated on -- than any other celeb out there. Well, maybe Britney Spears (shockingly far down at #14) has made more. But Lohan has also made bad career decisions in addition to her bad personal-life decisions. Go ahead and sift through Cinematical's coverage of Lohan throughout the past year or two; I challenge you to find one smart idea she's had (entering rehab doesn't count).

Since this is a tabloid, though, the Daily News' list is hardly about career smarts. Most of the people on the list are there because of their scandals, controversies and apparently unforgivable, ongoing problems. That is how Shia LaBeouf -- who should be on EW's list more than Ben Affleck should -- can be considered dumb, despite the fact that his public drunkenness arrest has hardly dented his career. Same goes for Russell Crowe, whose phone-throwing incident was more than two years ago. Other celebs are easily agreed with: former Oscar hopeful Courtney Love; almost-threw-it-all-away-at-the-beginning actress Vanessa Hudgens; K-Fed (only #38?). Check out the rest here.

[via Fark.com]

When you become an actor and star, there's lots of tricky scenarios to contend with. Beyond all the losses of privacy, you really have to watch what you talk about. There's all sorts of embargoes by the studio to keep actors from spilling secret details; there is the challenge of answering questions and being charming without giving away too much personal information; and finally -- there's the challenge of not saying something that could be taken the wrong way and erupt across the lines of news and blog feeds out there.

Columbus Short, star of Stomp the Yard, was recently asked about the turmoil that is Britney Spears. For those not familiar with the particulars of Ms. Spears' work, Short used to be her tour choreographer, and he whipped up her dance moves for her "In the Zone" tour. So, according to Jam!, he was recently asked about her troubles. His response: I really don't have any thoughts. I think we need to just stop talking about it and then she'll die... (horrified pause). Um, not literally. That's not what I meant. I meant she'll start to heal. Uh, next question?

Whoops! I see how he could confuse dying and healing, can't you? Talk about a big blunder. I have this feeling that he won't be commenting on other people and their issues in the future. Otherwise, he might have to be Quarantined from more than just a building full of rabies. Looking on the bright side, at least it was brunt-of-the-joke Britney. If he had let some important movie news slip, he might be finding himself back on the concert circuit.

So you're Sir Ben Kingsley. You've been knighted. You've won an Oscar. You're a pretty big deal actor who recently married a relatively-unknown, younger, attractive actress like the ol' devil you are. So you decide to go out on a night on the town with your wife. Of course, being any sort of notable actor or celebrity, you get stopped by the paparazzi. What do you imagine they'll ask you? Something about your work? Something about your new wife? How about super-important current events?

The other night, TMZ caught up with Kingsley and asked him to comment on Britney Spears. (Because you're dying to know, right? And he's certainly the one to go to with such a question.) After the disbelief: "Britney?" He is thoughtful, telling the camera that everyone deserves to be happy. Then, he decides to make this whole encounter a little more interesting. He follows with: "She's my role model, really. An inspiration, should I say?" He then goes on about his own "morning mantra," which consists of him saying: "Give me, give me, give me, give me..." Before leaving, he says: "It starts my day, and my day gets better and better!" Classy! I'm usually not a big fan of the random questions, but if only all actors could come up with something on the spot like Kingsley did, they'd be a heck of a lot more fun, which would give these things some sort of point. Maybe this cleverness is why he always attracts those young, model-looking women.

But I should tie this a little more into film and less gossip. So, here's my proposal: someone needs to put together a new movie -- it will star Spears and Kingsley together. He's the experienced pro, she's the young, flighty mess. Heck, they could make it a reality film, where she had to follow the word of Sir Ben and turn her life around. I know that I would go see it. There would be the humor of Kingsley to keep things clever, and the struggling Spears to titillate those who love nothing more than to watch a celebrity crash and burn. And maybe throw in that crying Spears fan for good measure.