Mark and Michael Polish may not be as well-known a fraternal filmmaking pair as Joel and Ethan Coen, but they could out-weird the Coens any day of the week. Their films range from virtually inscrutable (Northfork) to very strange (Twin Falls Idaho) to merely offbeat (The Astronaut Farmer), but it's clear they won't be getting hired to direct the sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks. So instead, they've formed their own production company, Prohibition Films, and are shooting two new projects back-to-back.

The first is entitled Manure, a title they should reconsider if only to make lazy film critics' jobs a little harder. Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Tea Leoni, and my man Kyle MacLachlan, the movie will explore the world of manure salesmen in 1960's heartland America. Upon reading that I frowned for a moment, but then realized that had you asked me who would be most likely to write and direct a movie about manure salesmen in 1960's heartland America, I would unhesitatingly have said the Polish Brothers.

For a while there, it looked like we would soon be seeing a new Fletch on the big screen, whether we liked the idea or not. However, soon enough, it looked like an all-out mess, with names popping up and disappearing over and over again, from Kevin Smith to John Krasinski. Back in June of last year, word had it that the role would be taken over by Joshua Jackson.

Surprise, surprise, the project has changed hands yet again, and Pacey is out, according to an interview with MTV. "In the way that rights are assigned in this business, when it didn't happen last summer, I think the rights went back to a different person," he said. "So the guy that offered me the job, I don't think owns it anymore, which is unfortunate."

Now, well, it could stay in development hell, or one day shock us all by finally coming together. But who needs a new Fletch when you can have a nice dose of Chevy Chase? However...

You guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognize you anymore!

-- Clark W. Griswold (Chevy Chase)

Before the Griswolds head out on yet another vacation, Clark speaks these words to his children, a sly (for this movie, anyway) jab at the fact that the Griswold kids have been played by four different sets of actors in four different films. He might as well have been speaking for the series itself. Watching this movie again for the first time since its theatrical release, I hardly recognize Vegas Vacation as a Vacation film. If European Vacation was a disappointment, Vegas Vacation is a crying shame -- a sad, laughless cash-in devoid of wit, charm, and signs that anyone is doing anything more than grabbing a paycheck. It's the kind of bad that casts a negative light on the good Vacation films that came before. In short, it sucks.

I still remember the day I went to see Vegas Vacation. At this time I had seen the trilogy (particularly the first and third entries) countless times, but Vegas would be the first I saw in a theater. I am not ashamed to say I was excited. Within about five minutes, I was slumped in my seat and was checking my watch. Why do the makers of movie franchises do this? If you've got a beloved property on your hands, why not put a little care into making each installment work? Just a little! It's not like they didn't have time; Vegas Vacation was released eight years after Christmas. Why sign off on such a lazy, unfunny script?

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas! No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f**king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse!

-- Clark W. Griswold (Chevy Chase)

After European Vacation, no one had any reason to believe the Vacation series would get back on track. Not to mention, almost without exception, movie series tend to get worse as they go along, right? Well, not this time.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ranks just slightly behind the original in terms of laughs, and it packs in even more heart without resorting to schmaltz. Again, I'm going to give a lot of the credit to John Hughes, the sole writer this time out. He makes just about every line funny, memorable, and quotable. He gives us a whole lot of characters, each well-defined and amusing. Hughes may have hit his peak here unfortunately, because after the following year's Home Alone, the man never wrote a great script again. (I think Dutch is hilarious, but even with all my Hughes love I can't call it "good.")

It was a "last hurrah" of sorts for Chevy Chase, too. Chase is really terrific here in what is, I'm sad to say, his final funny starring role (although I didn't see The Karate Dog). Oh, Chevy. What happened? Beverly D'Angelo returns, and is typically great ("Clark! Slow down! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!"). And my Lord, does Randy Quaid step it up here as Cousin Eddie. Chase's exchanges with Quaid are some of the film's funniest moments ("Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"). If Quaid's delivery of gems like "Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!" and "That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year!" don't make you laugh, well ... lighten up.

The hills are alive with the sound of Griswold! This s**t's been around for a very long time!

-- Clark W. Griswold (Chevy Chase)

I'm reviewing all the films in the Vacation series over the next couple weeks, and in preparation I've been re-watching each of the movies. I thought I'd be able to save myself some time and skip National Lampoon's European Vacation, as I just saw it again a couple of months ago. Then I took a seat at the computer and realized I couldn't remember a damn thing about the film. I saw it a few times growing up, I saw it very recently, and yet nothing was sticking out in my mind. European Vacation is that kind of movie -- not terrible necessarily, just instantly and powerfully forgettable.

The movie would seem to have everything going for it. Sure, Harold Ramis was out as director, but was replaced by the great Amy Heckerling (whom I recently saw at an Elvis Costello concert, which earns her unlimited cool points even without the movie career). Heckerling was hot off the excellent Fast Times as Ridgemont High and the cult favorite Johnny Dangerously, and seemed a perfect fit for the material. John Hughes returned to flesh out the story and co-write the script. Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo were reprising their classic roles.

So why is European Vacation so completely underwhelming? I intended to start each Vacation entry with a memorable line from the film, and it took me forever to pick a decent one for European. Where is Hughes' sparkling, endlessly quotable dialogue?

Note: Summer is coming to a close, and I don't have the budget to do much traveling. So I decided to take some Vacation time with the Griswolds instead. All this week and next, I'll be reviewing the Vacation movies, one of the most loved (and uneven) comedy franchises in modern film.

I think you're all f**ked in the head. We're ten hours from the f**king fun park and you want to bail out? Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f**king fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're a**holes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy S**t!

-- Clark W. Griswold (Chevy Chase)

Clark Griswold is my father circa 1988. The glasses. The Izod shirt. The too-short shorts. The unrelenting and misguided enthusiasm for all things family. The barely concealed rage. It's all there. What makes National Lampoon's Vacation work so well, all these years later, is that everyone thinks Clark is based on his or her father. Some of the funniest comedy comes from recognition, and this movie is almost like watching home movies from my youth. Except for the dead aunt on the roof of the car, but we'll get to that in a moment.

They assembled a real dream team for this movie, three giants of comedy at their primes. Behind the camera, you've got Harold Ramis, fresh off his directorial debut (Caddyshack -- not a bad start!). He clearly came to play here, and I'd imagine he had something to do with keeping Chevy Chase's tendency to overact in check. The script was written and based on a short story (click here to read it!) by John Hughes, unquestionably the finest film comedy writer of the 1980s. Disagree with me? Take a look at this list of Hughes scripts produced from 1983 to 1990: Mr. Mom, Vacation, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Some Kind of Wonderful, Planes Trains and Automobiles, She's Having A Baby, Uncle Buck, Christmas Vacation, and Home Alone. The man was a god.

If this isn't one of the stranger projects announced this year, featuring one of the stranger casts, then I dare you to top it. The Hollywood Reporter tells us that a live-action Jack and the Beanstalk flick is in the works. Not only that, but it seems Jack discovered a group of way-passed-their-prime actors to star while up there in the sky. Perhaps the Beanstalk is a time machine, because the last time these folks were popular -- well, let's just say it's been awhile. We're talking Katey Sagal, Wallace Shawn, Gilbert Gottfried, Chevy Chase, Christopher Lloyd and James Earl Jones. I swear -- that's the cast! Next thing you know, they'll be trying to dress up Fred Savage so that he can age-down and play Jack.

As it stands right now, James Earl Jones will play the giant (what, did you think they'd make Darth Vader an errand boy?), Segal will play Jack's worrisome mother, Shawn (who I've always found to be one of the most overlooked character actors) will play the dude who sells Jack the beans, Gottfried will somehow become the live-action goose that lays a golden egg and Chase will play the father of a family who gets lost while on their way to Wally World. Yeah, I wish. Actually, he'll have some sort of cameo as a guy in a labyrinth. As of now, Jack has not been cast. Gary DePew will produce; he was also a line producer on Warner Bros.' Hansel and Gretel, and produced Children of the Corn III and Children of the Corn IV. Well, at least all the films have something to do with children. Beanstalk will mark the first of ten low-budget family films that will be produced through DePew's Avalon production company. Looking at this cast, I can only imagine what will come next: Little Red Riding Hood, starring Cyndi Lauper? Heck, I'd see it.

First, Chevy Chase considered returning to the iconic role with Kevin Smith, but that turned ugly. Then, it was going to be Smith directing Jason Lee. Then, it was going to be Bill Lawrence directing Zach Braff. Ryan Reynolds was mentioned a lot, and jumped out to me as a perfect choice. The most recent talk had Joshua "Pacey" Jackson stepping into the role, with Steve Pink (Accepted) at the helm. But it seems the role of Irwin "Fletch" Fletcher is still up for grabs. Now The Office's John Krasinski is interested, bringing the total to at least four appealing television actors who have flirted with the update of the 1985 comedy classic, Fletch. Fletch Won has been passed around like a hot potato, and I'm not even sure what script they're working off of at this point. IMDb lists a script by Pink, Eli Jorne and Charlie McDowell, but it also lists a 2007 release date -- and that ain't gonna happen. I don't know what to believe anymore!

"My name was tossed around a little bit for the role, and it's something that [I might consider]," Krasinski tells MTV Movies Blog. "[Negotiating something like this] is a give or take kind of thing. I read the script, and it is hilarious. It's just one of those things that is so terrifying, to step up and be in a role that was done so perfectly," says Krasinski, adding "I mean, Chevy Chase not only created that role, but he did it pretty damn well." I think fans should be happy with this bit of news. The original film was very important to my youth, and I've been surprisingly pleased with every potential Fletch. Krasinski is terrific on The Office, and would be a much better fit for the material than the admittedly talented Joshua Jackson. I'd be happy to see Krasinski take a crack at Fletch, especially if he can keep the "raised eyebrow looks to the camera" at a minimum. Plus, it'd be a great way for him to earn back some cool points after the sure-to-be-sucktacular License to Wed. "Robin Williams as a Zany Preacher?" The only phrase less likely to get me into the theater would be "Ned Beatty as an Exotic Dancer."

When Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence signed on to write and direct Fletch Won (based on the novel by Gregory McDonald), everyone assumed Zach Braff would take over the character so hilariously portrayed by Chevy Chase in 1985's Fletch and the 1987 sequel, Fletch Lives. Heck, Braff knew he was perfect for the part, and even went so far as to talk about playing Fletch shortly after Lawrence's deal was announced. However, months have passed and nothing has ever been made official. But now, according to TVGuide.com, word has it that Braff reluctantly had to turn down the role due to scheduling conflicts. Bummer.

Lawrence, who's in New York scouting talent for the film, said: "Zach is writing and directing his own film [Open Hearts] at Paramount. I'm very happy for him. We were looking forward to doing this thing together, but when you get an opportunity like that, you've got to take it." With a seventh season of Scrubs on the horizon, it would have been impossible for Braff to take on his own film (a directorial follow-up to the highly-praised Garden State), as well as Fletch. Something had to give. And, unfortunately for us, Fletch got screwed. Since filming on Scrubs picks up again in August, I'm not sure when Lawrence plans on shooting Fletch Won. I assume the first thing he has to do is secure a star; someone who possesses enough comedic talent to take on this iconic character. Will they go after, say, Vince Vaughn? He's Chevy-like. Or, they can stay younger and target another sitcom actor-turned-big screen star. Perhaps someone like Topher Grace fits that bill? Personally, I say they revert back to the Kevin Smith version, and find a way to snag Jason Lee. He's the perfect guy for this role. What do you think?

[via IGN]

For the past half century, Harvard University's Hasty Pudding Theatricals has honored the greatest names in entertainment. Since 1951, it has given its Woman of the Year award to Katherine Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, Meryl Streep and others of tremendous talent. In 1967, it began handing out a Man of the Year award, too. Recipients have included Paul Newman, James Stewart, Robert DeNiro and Steven Spielberg. This year's winners are Scarlett Johansson and Ben Stiller.

Now, I know I could be in the minority here, but I just don't see Johansson and Stiller being in the same boat as some of the past honorees. But I think maybe the theater group hasn't chosen Johansson specifically for her acting (or her gallbladder). I think they just want the "Sexiest Woman Alive" to lead their parade (perchance in a Cinderella costume?). As for Stiller, well, I'm sure he should be a fun guy to have around at a premiere party for HPT's latest theatrical production. He isn't the first comedy star to be honored, and at least he's still in his prime, unlike 1993 honoree Chevy Chase.

Looking through the list, it seems most of the elder greats have already been given awards in the past, but surely there must be somebody more deserving than these two. Okay, granted Stiller is a huge box office success this year, though his draw is likely temporary, but Johansson hasn't shown herself to be a great actress and so far she's been "box office poison." Who should have gotten the awards instead?