In about an hour, I'll be writing another post regarding a new Moviefone gallery featuring the 25 Best Sex Scenes of All Time. One movie that will not be on that list (mainly because it hasn't come out yet) is Shoot 'Em Up, which arrives in theaters this Friday. Now before I go on, I must warn you that the clip we'll be linking to features both nudity and violence -- so those of you at work or around children might want to wait until the coast is clear. That said, New Line never even needed to market this film at all. All they could've done was show people this clip -- make it their trailer -- and folks would've flocked in masses. For the women, you have Clive Owen. For the men, you have Monica Bellucci. And for the people who couldn't care less about the sex, you have tons and tons of gun play. Need I say more?

The folks over at IESB are currently housing this clip, although no one seems to know where it came from. They claim it sort of landed in their laps, and so they put it up. Was it leaked on purpose? Was it not supposed to be leaked at all? We don't know. But what we do know is that the clip itself is flippin' fantastic -- and if I could simultaneously be typing this post and be on line waiting to buy tickets for this flick, you bet your ass I'd be in both places at the same time. (Actually, when you think about it, technically I could buy tickets online while I write this post. Thus, it is possible. So there ya go.) Parts of this clip were briefly shown in that last R-rated clip, but there's nothing like the whole scene to get you in the mood, so to speak. Here's a brief description to whet your appetite: While Clive and Monica get down to some between-the-sheets business, guys in ski masks burst into the room, bullets go flying, a baby begins crying and, well, the sex couldn't get any better. And Clive's final line -- classic! Check out the clip and let us know what you think -- Shoot 'Em Up hits theaters this weekend.

There aren't enough words in my vocabulary to describe how much I love Michael Cera. Granted, he's nowhere near being the next George Clooney, but no one plays "dopey" better than this kid. Our pals at Moviefone have just released a brand new R-rated clip from the upcoming comedy Superbad, starring Cera and Jonah Hill. Picture Freaks and Geeks if it were R-rated and lasted enough seasons for the geeks to be graduating high school. Although the clip itself is fairly tame (with the exception of a few sh*ts, naked ass slapping, underage drinking and vomiting), it's technically R-rated which means you do need to be over 18 to view it. Yes, that also means you will need to add your name, birthdate and zip code before watching. Additionally, a urine sample is optional, but not required.

In the aforementioned scene, Cera is chatting up one of his female classmates in the school hallway. When she asks him whether he will attend a big party the following weekend, he goes into this whole diatribe about how he has to see whether he has anything else planned -- because there's always "tons of crazy sh*t happening." "Like what?" she asks. It's at that point the clip earns its R-rated status; as Cera begins to describe the super cool time he had the previous weekend -- dressing it up so that it sounds fun -- we flash to the stuff that actually took place, including computer porn watching, beer drinking and a number of other ridiculous activities. From the looks of it, Superbad appears to be the kind of comedy Accepted should've been. Don't get me wrong, I liked Accepted -- but when they opted for the PG-13 rating, they subsequently lost the opportunity to include a ton of raunchy humor. Although Judd Apatow did not direct Superbad, he did produce -- not to mention a majority of his clan of merry misfits all show up in one way, shape or form. Is it wrong for me to anticipate this flick more than The Simpsons Movie? Because I really think that's where I'm heading. Superbad hits theaters on August 17.

Especially if you're right in the middle of eating lunch. A new Captivity clip has surfaced online, and it features what is probably one of the more disgusting ways I've ever seen a character tortured. Granted, these torture flicks aren't exactly my cup of tea (my stomach is so weak, the kiddie rollercoasters in Disney World scare me), so I'm not exactly the world's leading expert. Now here's where I have to warn you -- this isn't the type of thing you'll want to watch at work or at home unless you feel like grossing out everyone around you. It's pretty sick, and I'm surprised it's being shown online (it doesn't appear to be a leaked scene, so chances are After Dark Films and/or Lionsgate released the scene themselves).

I'm also going to describe the scene for those who want to know what they'll be watching before clicking over, so if you'd rather head in surprised then don't read the following. Basically, Elisha Cuthbert is strapped down to a chair and her captor begins pulling severed body parts out of a refrigerator (perhaps it's a heart, couldn't tell -- I refused to watch it a second time). From there, this dude throws the parts in a blender, mixes it up, shoves a funnel into Cuthbert's mouth and begins to pour the delicious red liquid down her throat. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps he's auditioning for The Next Food Network Star: Torture Edition. The film, which After Dark Films insists is coming out on July 13 (after its release date had been pushed twice), tells of a girl (Cuthbert) who is drugged, kidnapped and taken to some sort of torture chamber. From there it appears she attempts to find a way out, while at the same time trying to live another day. Directed by Roland Joffé, it will be interesting to see how Captivity does at the box office. We all know Eli Roth's Hostel: Part II didn't exactly produce the kind of opening numbers the original shelled out, so if Captivity underperforms then this could spell the end of this torture phase (with the Saw films being the exception). Needless to say, I'm just dying to find out.

I have to say, I feel bad for all the ladies out there this summer. Not only are the majority of major films geared toward a male audience, but some of the more talked-about female films feature girls being kidnapped, tortured and/or mutilated. What's up with that? Two weeks after director Eli Roth does some very bad things to three unsuspecting female tourists in Hostel: Part II, Elisha Cuthbert gets drugged and thrown in some sort of dungeon in Captivity. Oh, and then next month La Lohan gets kidnapped and has her legs chopped off in I Know Who Killed Me. Man, what happened to the days when a delightful girl could innocently frolic through an open field and not be viciously mangled for doing so? Where's the love?

Most of you are probably already aware of the film Captivity. Back in March, After Dark Films shoveled out a number of controversial billboards onto city streets in L..A. and New York without the approval of the MPAA. Since then, the MPAA suspended the ratings process for Captivity, bumping its release date back a month to June 22. Now, with a spiffy new 'R' rating, Captivity has a pretty nifty website and a new exclusive clip has popped up over at JoBlo. In said clip, Cuthbert crawls around on a floor, pops a VHS tape into a VCR (why are serial killers always way behind on the times?) and begins to watch video of someone watching her. It's kind of creepy, but I can't imagine it leaving too much of an impact after the girl has already been kidnapped. "Now that I have you, here's how I did it. What do you think about the edit job; not bad for a homicidal maniac, huh?"

It's not like there has been any shortage of promotional material coming from Disney for Pirates of The Caribbean 3: At World's End. Already there have been numerous promotional stills, sneak peek video clips, trailers, and a video game. But if you still can't wait, then you now have four new clips on Moviefone to tide you over. We get another look at Johnny Depp doing his best Keith Richards and setting off canons, Chow Yun-Fat in a double cross, a suitably salty Geoffrey Rush, and we even check in on the voodoo priestess Tia Dalma -- there is even a monkey, truly something for everyone. The one thing there is very little of is either Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom, whose parts seem to be shrinking as the franchise goes on. In these four clips, they don't seem to have all that much to do other than stand around and pout.

While the story and plot seemed to elude even the people who worked on the film, with the sheer amount of clips and trailers, I can't help but think that by the time the movie has hit theaters there are going to be very few surprises left. Since producer Jerry Bruckheimer stated that despite all the talk to the contrary, this is probably going to be the film that wraps up this incarnation of the Pirates franchise, Disney seems to be sparing no expense to make sure that the franchise goes out with a bang, not to mention giving that web-flinger a run for his money at the summer box-office.

Here's my question for Eli Roth: "Dude, why did you have to put three brunette's in this film who all look the same?" I have no idea who is who -- then again, when one is kissing the other in a creepy mist-filled pool ... does it really matter? A brand new clip for Roth's Hostel: Part II in up over at IGN; one that certainly had me wondering why in the world these damn characters always decide to run into the woods to hide. The woods are evil girl -- stay away! And I just love these slightly overweight guys (dressed as if they're about to knock over a convenient store) who chase these gals down. "Help! My mailman is trying to kidnap, torture and kill me!"

The clip itself isn't bad; first we have the aforementioned girls "bonding" in a pool, and then we cut to Beth (Lauren German) running for her life (dressed in only a white robe) once she realizes these men in black are after her. As she hops a wall and runs through the woods, she briefly crosses a road and stops a truck begging for help. Of course, the kid in the truck won't help (why would he -- there's only a scantily clad beauty begging to be rescued), forcing poor Beth to choose between running up the road or, yes, hiding in the woods. Guess which route she took? And guess what happens to her? I still haven't decided whether I'm actually going to see Hostel: Part II; part of me (the extremely wimpy part) is a little scared I'll wind up being the guy who throws up in his seat. And no one wants to sit next to that guy. Regardless, I still have some time to make up my mind -- Hostel: Part II hits theaters on June 8.

For those of you {cough} dying {cough} to catch even the tiniest glimpse of Hostel: Part II, a brand, spanking new international clip has just arrived online. Oh yes, I said international -- which means you might want to remove the kids from the room and toss on the headphones, as the characters featured drop more than one F-bomb throughout. The clip itself is the same one that played a few weeks ago at New York ComicCon, and it actually features three separate scenes which, I imagine, are the tamest of the entire film. Based on what director Eli Roth told us, I have a feeling they're having a hard time putting together a trailer when 98 percent of the film is, well, not very friendly.

Hostel: Part II picks up right where the last one left off, literally. Roth cut the film so that you could remove the credits from Part I and it would seamlessly flow into Part II. However, instead of a group of guys signing up for some wicked torture sessions, this time Roth kicked it up a notch and used females. This, he says, will make the film that much harder to stomach. In the clip, we get to watch three of the girls hanging around in some sort of steam pool, getting massages and enjoying their time abroad. Little do they know that some very bad stuff is about to happen -- case in point: in the following scene, we see Heather Matarazzo (how far she's come since Welcome to the Dollhouse, huh?) hanging upside down, naked, and with some sort of sock stuffed in her mouth. At the same time, a large bulky man turns a wheel attached to a track which pulls Matarazzo closer to the action. Also starring in the film are Bijou Phillips, Lauren German and, um, Roger Bart. (Sadly, you Desperate Housewives fans might want to stay away from Hostel: Part II, or else you'll never look at Bart the same way again.) Hostel: Part II hits theaters on June 8.

With less than a week before Zack Snyder's 300 crashes into theaters, MTV has an exclusive 300-second clip in which those lovable oiled-up Spartans prepare to battle the scary Persian Immortals ... and one giant beast of a man. After King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his crew plow through a number of Persian soldiers, using their dead bodies to build a strategic wall, along come an army of masked men -- the deadliest fighting force in all of Asia -- the Immortals. Will Leonidas and his 300 men have what it takes to slaughter their toughest competition? I guess you'll have to wait till March 9 to truly find out.

If this balls-to-the-wall clip isn't enough to whet your appetite, feel free to check out Moviefone's behind the scenes tour of 300; along with a video intro from Gerald Butler himself, you get to scope out the men, the sets and the filming of that already famous scene in which Leonidas and his soldiers push a herd of Persians off a cliff. If anything, it's fascinating to watch how Snyder turns a group of men falling onto a mat into some spectacular visuals -- the kind of stuff most people will have no problem shelling out ten bucks to watch unfold in front of their eyes. Will it live up to the hype? Will it stand tall alongside those fantastic battles featured in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy? For you Frank Miller fanatics, I'm sure this will be one helluva long week.

After the whole 300 debacle in Berlin, I'm trying hard not to get too hyped up about a film anymore. Sure, there's stuff I'm looking forward to -- and then stuff I'm really looking forward to -- but I need to check myself and not let the anticipation consume me. Last time I tapped into my spring anticipation meter, there were four films racing to the top: 300, Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz and Danny Boyle's Sunshine. Unfortunately (and I just realized this now as I was writing), Sunshine's release date has once again been pushed back ... all the way to the fall of 2007. Ugh. WTF?

Since we now have a good FIVE months before Sunshine hits theaters, that should leave plenty of time for Fox Searchlight to promote the heck out of it ... starting with a brand new clip from the film which you can check out right this very second. I'm not exactly sure how this scene fits in, but I do know a group of people are watching Mercury pass by the sun, as a pretty Boyle-esque score quietly captivates us and the pic's main characters (although I don't think they can hear the music). In Sunshine, a group of astronauts are sent to revive the sun after the lights go out and Earth begins to freeze over. Director Boyle has successfully given us a zombie flick, a beach flick, a druggie flick and a kids flick -- how will he fare with a sci-fi flick? Based on the trailer, this one looks like a keeper. Now, if they could only change their minds and switch that US release date from fall 2007 to, like, tomorrow.

Even though the UK got their native Severance way back in August (with the R2 DVD due next week), we Yanks won't get to see it in theaters until April 6th -- unless Magnolia Pictures bumps the release date because, well, that's the day Grindhouse is opening. Various fest-goers have already been able to enjoy Christopher Smith's twisted little horror flick (myself included), but the Average Joe horror geek will have to wait until Magnolia (finally) unleashes the goods.

In the meantime you can head over to The Film Asylum and check out one nifty little clip from the flick, although I'm a little bit bummed; this snippet represents one of the most surprisingly amusing moments in the film, and it kinda stinks to have it ruined before you see the movie. Oh well, it's still funny. Enjoy. (There's also a trailer that's certainly worth watching.)

The flick stars the hilarious Danny Dyer, the luminous Laura Harris and a whole bunch of Brits you might not recognize -- but that doesn't stop 'em from being quite amusing before they're stalked, staked and hacked to death by a bunch of ravenous freakoes deep in the mountains of Eastern Europe.

Oh, and there's a bear.