I could have stolen the more dubious headline from Fark.com, but I'd rather just acknowledge that site's ever-hilarious subbys. Plus, I wanted to get straight to the point. The Ukrainians love Jessica Simpson! Either that or they love Luke Wilson, Penelope Ann Miller or Andy Dick. All of these people star in the movie Blonde Ambition, which opened this past weekend in the Eastern European nation and shockingly claimed the #1 spot at the box office. With a gross of $253,008, it actually beat out also-opener Definitely, Maybe and has already out-done the Ukraine releases of Atonement, which has only made $237,481 in 5 weeks, and Alvin and the Chipmunks, which has brought in $235,158 in 9 weeks. People magazine got a quote from Box Office Mojo editor-in-chief Conor Bresnan regarding the news: ""The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies. When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson's, that's all that's needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So, films like Blonde Ambition will gross more than No Country for Old Men."

Hey, he's right! I can't find any listing for No Country for Old Men grosses in the Ukraine, but Russia and the CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States) do actually like Blonde Ambition a teeny bit better.. The Coen Bros. movie only took in $286,387 in its first weekend while Blonde Ambition grossed $302,531 during its opening. All of this is pretty amazing, considering the Simpson movie barely even received a theatrical release in the States, and even then it only had a per-screen average of $48. I won't go as far as imply that the Ukraine is weak -- as a Fark.com commenter did by linking to this Seinfeld clip -- but it can't be denied that they've got an interesting taste in movies.

Look at movie photo. Insert caption. Win awesome prizes. Repeat. Last week, we asked you to get all kinds of witty for a photo from the new romantic comedy Definitely, Maybe, starring Ryan Reynolds as a guy who definitely knows how to entertain little Abigail Breslin with stories from his past. Throw a bunch of C.D.'s (what are those?) into the equation, and the musical references -- combined with your admiration for Mr. Reynolds -- were plentiful (and somewhat hilarious). Congrats to Bob B. who turned Ashlee Simpson (who's she?) into a household name ... again.

1. "I don't know how she does it, but Ashlee Simpson really knows how to speak to me in a way few artists can." -- Bob B.

2. "Ryan comes clean after castmates uncover a long hidden secret from his past, as Ricky Reynolds, the first American boy in the 1984 reformation of the boy band Menudo." -- Eric W.

3. "I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman"". -- Anthony G.

See full image and all captions

This week, we're heading back to high school with the ever-so-optimistic Charlie Bartlett. The film stars Anton Yelchin as a rich kid who becomes the self-appointed psychiatrist to the student body of his new high school. (And can you guess where he holds most of his sessions? Hint: There's more than enough paper to go around.) One lucky grand prize winner will get to take home a totally sweet original Charlie Bartlett painting designed by pro skater/icon Steve Caballero. You can check out the painting to the right, and click on it for a larger version. Sound off below fellow captioners ... but do take it easy on the toilet humor. Zing!

Read the official rules for this contest

Welcome to another fun-tastic edition of Insert Caption! Last week we asked you to give us your best captions for a photo from this weekend's new release, Fool's Gold. And gosh, we never knew so many of you were obsessed with a shirtless Matthew McConaughey. Is it the muscles? It's the muscles, ain't it? Congrats to Alex C. for dishing out a Dazed and Confused reference that was just too good to pass up.

1. "My drawin' skills... every year I get older, but they stay the same age." -- Alex C.

2. "I think this scene right here would be a great opportunity for me to take my shirt off." -- Radu M.

3. "Here, let me draw it out for you. You see, I take two steps forward, and you take two steps back. We come together 'cuz opposites attract. Get it?" -- KOW

See full image and all captions

This week, you'll definitely (not maybe, definitely!) want to enter our caption contest, in which we're celebrating the upcoming release of Definitely, Maybe, starring Ryan Reynolds and Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigail Breslin. Reynolds plays a political consultant who finds himself in a revealing place when his 11-year-old daughter begins to grill him on his past relationships. One Grand Prize winner will take home one signed Definitely Maybe poster, one Definitely Maybe girls' fitted T-shirt, one photo album, one journal, and one baseball hat. Additionally, two runner-ups will receive one Definitely Maybe poster, one Definitely Maybe girls' fitted T-shirt, one photo album, one journal, and one baseball hat. Sound off below!

Read the official rules for this contest

If snow isn't your thing, but you really like film festivals, you might want to pack your bags quickly and zip over to the Santa Barbara Film Festival, which kicked off its 23rd year tonight. The fest definitely started on the right foot. Or, maybe? No, it was the world premiere of Definitely, Maybe. It's already screened, and according to the fest's blogger, Roger Durling: "I stuck around for half and hour to see how the film played with an audience, and people seem to be loving it! Yay! It's a sweet romantic comedy. I really like it."

That's good news, because the film has been in the works for what seems like eons. Cinematical first posted about the story all the way back in September of 2005, when Ryan Reynolds signed on to star. Since then, a cast was collected that features the likes of Abigail Breslin, Isla Fisher, Derek Luke, Elizabeth Banks, and Rachel Weisz. The film focuses on a Manhattan dad (Reynolds) who has to deal not only with his divorce proceedings, but also questions from his 10-year-old (Breslin) over his pre-marriage life. Trying to stay in PG territory, he discusses three women he had relationships with -- without telling her which one ended up being her mother. Since this is a romcom, you can imagine what happens after such happy reminiscing.

For non-fest-goers, the film will, suitably, hit screens on February 14, and you can check out the trailer over at Moviefone. Man, it's hard to believe Billy Simpson is now playing a dad.

Lots and lots of casting news to report on today. Aren't we lucky? Check it out:

• My main man Ludacris (he's not actually my main man, I just feel a little bit more hip introducing him that way) has joined the cast of Fred Claus, where he'll play an angry elf. The rapper-turned-actor has been doing all he can to drum up interest in his mad skills ever since he co-starred in last year's Best Picture, Crash. Here, he joins a cast that already includes Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey, among others. Pic is set to crash (no pun intended) onto the scene at some point during next year's holiday season.
• The adorable little (and I mean, little) Abigail Breslin (yes, she was Little Miss Sunshine) has been tapped to star alongside Ryan Reynolds in Definitely, Maybe for Working Title and Universal Pictures. In the flick, she'll play the inquisitive daughter of a divorced dad hell-bent on asking her pop some difficult questions about his love life. Awww.
• Sissy Spacek, Troy Garity and one of my favorite musicians, Dave Matthews, have signed on to star in Lake City, with Perry Moore and Hunter Hill co-writing and directing the pic. Spacek and Garity will play an estranged mother and son who reunite "under dire circumstances" to save their home. Though we're not exactly sure which character he's playing, Matthews (credited as David Matthews in the film) will take on the role of villain. Production is set to begin next week in Virginia.

Erik told us about a month ago about Definitely, Maybe, a movie that, sadly, is not the story of feuding brothers with bushy eyebrows and a little rock band on the side. Instead, it's a romantic comedy about "a soon-to-be-divorced political consultant who has to answer some hard questions from his 11-year-old daughter as he explains his promiscuous past." When the film was announced, much of the cast was already in place, including Ryan Reynolds (who, despite Erik's mean remarks, will completely rock this grown-up part -- seriously) as the political consultant and Derek Luke and Isla Fisher in unspecified supporting roles.

Today, reports indicated that a few more major openings are close to being filled -- and by names that will make this movie very popular among men, despite its chick-flick potential: Elizabeth Banks and Rachel Weisz are in negotiations to join the cast. According to this morning's Hollywood Reporter, Banks will play the college girlfriend of Reynolds' character, while Weisz is in talks to play the girl who replaces Banks in the consultant's heart. At this point, though, does it even matter? I'm guessing the names Weisz, Banks and Fisher will be more than enough to make this a must-see for a large segment of the population.

Odds and ends from Wednesday:

• In what's sure to be a powerful follow-up to 2004's Hotel Rwanda, director Terry George is set to take on the story of a different battle. This time, instead of traveling to war torn Rwanda, he's visiting any town USA. George has signed on to direct Reservation Road, an adaptation of Jonathan Burnham Schwartz's novel. Pic, which was also penned by Schwartz, surrounds two families who collide when one father accidentally kills the son of the other father in a horrible hit and run accident. While one father tries to hide from the event, afraid of facing the harsh consequences of his actions, the other makes it his mission to find the unknown man who killed his son.
• Hey look, Ryan Reynolds is still acting! Shouldn't there be a petition online by now preventing him from scarring us any further? If not, can we start one? Universal Pictures have just picked up Adam Brooks' script Definitely, Maybe, lining up Reynolds, Derek Luke and Isla Fisher to star in the romantic comedy. Reynolds will play a soon-to-be divorced political consultant who struggles to answer some hard questions from his 11-year-old daughter about his past relationships. Politics and fatherhood? This one should be easy for Reynolds to screw up.
• While doing press for the upcoming My Super Ex-Girlfriend, director Ivan Reitman talked a bit about his first directorial effort in five years, while also dishing out some info about the highly anticipated Old School 2. That's right, they're back ... and they're even older! While Reitman will once again be producing the sequel, he did say Scott Armstrong and director Todd Phillips were currently working on the script. However, since the three lead actors (Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson) have come a long way since then, substantially increasing their price tag, Reitman said the whole thing comes down to whether Dreamworks can afford it. Personally, I see no need for an Old School 2. The first one was fine, leave it alone. Spend the money on something more original for once. Please. For the sake of comedy, I beg you.