It would be one thing if You Don't Mess With the Zohan was simply bad; after the recent string of Adam Sandler comedies like I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Click and The Longest Yard, You Don't Mess With the Zohan continues the Sandler career path where low comedy is intended to result in high profits. Sandler's films now seem to function mostly as a kind of philosophical experiment: How lazy, sloppy and stupid can a film be and still make money? And let's not mince words here, or hem and haw and add caveats about a few laughs or good intentions: You Don't Mess With the Zohan is astonishingly, impressively, depressingly bad.

And no, this is not some sneering, soft-handed ivory-tower resident looking down on Sandler's work from a lofty height; this is someone who loves a good smart dumb comedy telling you that if you see You Don't Mess With the Zohan, you'll witness a moment where Zohan -- the Israeli commando-turned-hairdresser played by Sandler -- wishes a sad farewell to someone with his junk. We get a close-up of it -- bulging, frame-filling -- and it waggles a little wave to us, sadly, as Zohan wishes goodbye to a girl he might have loved, eyes sad and crotch engorged.

From its opening frames, The Howling stiffens, stretches tightly, and even occasionally loosens the nerves, all without losing entirely its firm grip on your emotions. Director Joe Dante has a great love for movie lore, which informs the canvas on which he paints and makes repeat viewings essential, while never wavering in his drive to tell the story as quickly and efficiently as possible. That makes the running time fly by; it's only later that you realize how deep an impression the film carves into your subconscious.

Released in May 1981, The Howling was first out of the gate of the unofficial, unrelated "wolf meets man" trilogy that year, beating both Wolfen and An American Werewolf in London into theaters. Working with a budget reportedly ten times smaller than American Werewolf, The Howling made a killing at the box office in relation to its budget. It's fascinating to compare the films, but beyond the vague subject matter of "werewolves," they have little in common. Dante was a proud graduate of the Roger Corman school of low budget filmmaking. As a result, The Howling is a lean, mean tension machine that's much better than its straightforward approach might suggest.

Disembodied voices whisper under abstract video images as the credits roll and stringed instruments saw away in the background. The images resolve into a televised interview with Dr. George Waggner (Patrick Macnee) spouting a soothing brand of psycho-babble. Behind the scenes, the station's general manager (Kevin McCarthy) directs traffic as co-anchor Karen White (Dee Wallace) trawls through Hollywood, preparing to meet with Eddie (Robert Picardo), a suspect in a string of vicious murders.

Seeing as she's had some problems making the transition from singer to actress (I wouldn't exactly consider Glitter, WiseGirls and State Property 2 must-see entertainment), it's only fitting that Mariah Carey would toss aside any Carey-like characters for the time being, and opt to play herself instead. And, in doing so, she may have just landed her biggest film to date. JoBlo tells us that Carey will star alongside Adam Sandler in You Don't Mess With The Zohan; a film that finds Sandler teaming with the brilliant comedic minds of Judd Apatow and Robert Smigel (of SNL fame). Dennis Dugan, who's had his fare share of hits and misses (Big Daddy and Happy Gilmore being hits, with National Security and The Benchwarmers being misses) will direct, while production is set to begin this summer with an eye on a summer 2008 release.

In the film, Sandler will play Zohan, a Mossad agent who's so fed up with his life that he fakes his death to pursue his dream of becoming a hairdresser in New York City. That right there is scary in and of itself. Carey will play herself (a singer who's gone through more transformations than the Autobots) who becomes all mixed up with Zohan's former nemesis The Phantom, thus forcing the former agent to return to his roots and kick some ass. As far as other cast members go, all we know right now is that Rob Schneider has signed on to play an East Yistannen cab driver. Oh joy. Pic will mark back-to-back projects for both Sandler and Dugen; the actor and director also partnered up on this summer's I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which hits theaters on July 20. What do you think of Mariah Carey, the actress? Does her involvement automatically ruin the film for you, or are you happy that someone is finally giving her the big break she so desperately deserves?

Adam Sandler is re-teaming with one of his most frequent directors, Dennis Dugan, for You Don't Mess With the Zohan. We recently brought you news on the film, in which Sandler will play a Mossad agent who fakes his death so he can move to New York and become a hairstylist. Regardless of how this project turns out, it's refreshing to hear a premise that doesn't sound exactly like everything else. Rob Schneider, who has made quite the career of playing strangely accented dudes in Sandler films, has signed on to play a East Yistannen cab driver. Sandler wrote the screenplay with two of today's greatest comedy minds: Judd Apatow (I'm seeing Knocked Up tonight -- jealous?) and Robert Smigel, who has written some of the greatest bits ever to appear on Late Night With Conan O'Brien and Saturday Night Live.

Dugan has worked with Sandler before on two of his better comedies, Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy. They must have a great relationship because Dugan also directed this summer's I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry with Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel and Steve Buscemi, who I hope is not wasted like he was I Think I Love My Wife. Chuck and Larry should be out in July, and the fact that Alexander Payne has a writing credit has me very intrigued to see it. To get a little deeper into the Dugan ouevre, check out two really underrated comedies: Saving Silverman -- a movie I never understood all the hatred for, and Brain Donors, an absolutely hysterical Marx Brothers update with John Turturro that almost no one has seen. Shooting for Zohan starts this summer in Los Angeles and New York, and the movie should be out in Summer 2008.