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If I were a more superstitious person, I would start to think that Dimension's Hellraiser remake is cursed. It has been a long time since Clive Barker first signed on to help re-write his original story for the screen ... again, but here we are three years later and not a day closer to a finished product. The last anyone had heard was that Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) had signed up to direct. But, thanks to an update from Barker's Twitter feed, we now know that "Pascal Laugier is regrettably no longer on the Hellraiser remake. I think Martyrs is extraordinary, I don't know much more. I mean why would anyone tell me? I mostly discover these things here or through friends who still buy the trades."

The horror-remake has had a revolving door cast for a couple of years now, and Laugier isn't the first director to walk. Originally, the French directors Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury (Inside / A l'interieur) were supposed to be shooting Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton's script, but Bustillo and Maury soon left the film thanks to "creative differences." Laugier was supposed to be their replacement, and we might be back to square one now that rumors are swirling that Dimension has plans to commission an entirely new script as well.

After the jump: so, will Hellraiser ever get made? Plus some of my fantasy picks for a new director.

If the Mayan calender is correct and the world does end in 2012, it'll be ok because we will have gotten all of our '80s remakes by then! Whew. Fresh on the heels of Total Recall getting its writer, the Oscar nominated Taraji P. Henson joining The Karate Kid, and Jonah Hill's 21 Jump Street plans comes an update on the Short Circuit remake.

According to Variety, Dan Milano of Robot Chicken and Greg the Bunny fame has been recruited to pen the remake for Dimension Films, replacing original writers S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock. He plans to give it a"subversive edge" similar to his Adult Swim work. Contrast that bit of positivity to the enthusiasm from Dimension Films and producer David Foster, who have no plans to change the design of Number 5 to reflect the 21st century, its improvements in robotics, or the fact that a really popular PIXAR film looks an awful lot like him. "We think of Wall-E as an extended trailer for our film, because it's the same face," Foster said.

In my opinion, there's the mentality that just sums all this up. It's just not hollow enough to remake a 1986 movie, but you consider the existence of Wall E as a cross between a fan film and viral marketing, instead of respecting PIXAR for having used Short Circuit as a nice little homage to something original. But that's my black heart showing. If you're an optimist, you may find it amusingly meta.

It's been ages since we've heard a peep about the adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel The Road. After McCarthy's brutal Texas drama No Country for Old Men won four Oscars at the 80th Academy Awards, rumors of future McCarthy adaptations of The Road and Blood Meridian sprung up immediately, with The Road slated for a November 2008 release. Then McCarthy's post-apocalyptic doom-fest was pushed to December, and then ... silence.

But fans of the book -- which was re-released with one of those "Now being made into a real-life motion picture!!!!" stamps a while ago -- can quit their grumbling, because The Road will be released on October 16th, 2009. Once again, it's just in time for Oscar season.

It seemed like a no-brainer to shuffle this genius McCarthy work out the door, especially judging by the cast (helloooo, Viggo), director John Hillcoat, and the few grimy photo stills released to the public. It also bears mentioning that Mr. McCarthy is a tough road to hoe himself, and is known for his dislike for the press and reluctance to get involved in any more film projects after his rumored dissatisfaction with the 2000 adaptation of All the Pretty Horses. So what happened?

Sin City is the series that just can't catch a break. Last week, IESB.net was reporting that the Weinstein Company / Dimension had lost the rights to Sin City, and that the franchise was being quietly shopped around. The rumors were hotly denied by the Weinsteins ... but now The Hollywood Reporter is saying the same darn thing.

While the Weinsteins continue to maintain that they hold the rights, producers all around town are saying that Frank Miller's "estate" has been shopping around those same rights. It's unclear if they have lapsed due to the failure to renew or move on the property, but it seems strange that they could have expired so soon.

This is a rumor that I think we all hope comes true. I'd like to see Sin City land at a studio willing to actually put A Dame to Kill For into production instead of just talking about it. It's been four (count 'em, four) years since Sin City, with "production starting in a matter of weeks!" reports being issued every three months or so. The talent remains enthusiastic and attached. Fans are clamoring for the rest of the sleazy series. It's a no brainer for any other studio, but the Weinstein Company seems to believe delaying films until the end of the world is a sound business principle.

What would you like to see ultimately happen with the next Sin City movie, and who do you think would take the best care of it?

Normally when I find out that a feature film is being made from one of my favorite novels, I immediately prepare myself for disappointment. But, when it comes to The Road, I don't know what to tell you -- for once I'm convinced everything is going to work out just fine. Although that's probably the first time that particular sentence was used in conjunction with anything having to do with Cormac McCarthy's novel. BBC4's arts show Today recently profiled the project, and the highlight of the report was the first audio clip of Nick Cave's original score. It's only a short clip, but from what you can hear it's the perfect musical accompaniment to the tale of a father (Viggo Mortensen) and son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) traveling through an apocalyptic wasteland.

So even though most of us probably never pay that much attention to the orchestral score to most of the films we watch, you can't ignore a bad one. For me, one of the most distracting things about a film is a bad score -- some of my more hated examples include The Perfect Storm and The Last Samurai. I know there are plenty of reasons why a film might fail to connect with audiences, and I also know that this film is already going to be a hard sell. But, as a former Goth who wore way too much eyeliner while listening to Mr Cave's Murder Ballads on repeat, I have every faith that if there is anyone that can pick the perfect mood music for a downer, it's him.

The Road has yet to find a solid release date, but will hopefully arrive in theaters this fall.

O great Cinematical readership, we call upon you to exercise your remarkable intellect, imagination, and wit, so you can help name a new social networking thriller. (Especially those of you who know that there's a difference between Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace.) According to The Hollywood Reporter, none other than Dimension Films plans to make a teen thriller ripping off resembling Ten Little Indians, only "with a Web 2.0 twist."

Social networking may become a hot topic for movies. You might remember that plans were announced last year for Aaron Sorkin to write a movie about Facebook for producer Scott Rudin. The official Facebook group page for the project has logged more than 3,800 messages, and Sorkin has been responding with surprising frequency. In a post yesterday, for example, he appeared to indicate that the script has not been written yet.

So maybe Dimension Films can beat them to the punch. Dimension's Bob Weinstein is quoted by THR as saying: "Online social networking is a widespread phenomenon that interests me greatly. Combining it with a suspense thriller is a new and fresh way to explore this new trend." (By the way, his name was just claimed on Twitter with the message: "I just joined the 21st century," though it could be someone else.) Will they create a new, entirely fictional social network, or team up with one that already exists?

The flick is currently untitled, which is where you come in. What should the thriller be called? To get you started, James Rocchi suggested, via Twitter, the tagline: "You're Unfollowed!" followed by a pickaxe smash. Tell us your suggested titles in the comments section.

It is no secret that horror maestro Clive Barker has not had good luck lately with feature films. But to his credit, it hasn't made him bitter about seeing his work translated for the big screen. In an interview with MTV, Barker got the chance to weigh in on the upcoming remake of Hellraiser for Dimension Films -- and judging from his comments, he seems to be in a good place with the project. Barker told MTV, "I never get tired of revisiting [characters] if there is a good story to be told." He seemed genuinely excited about what he has planned for the story of a puzzle box from another dimension and the 'human pin-cushion'.

Back in February, Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton were hired to work on the re-write of the Barker-approved script. But the project had another setback when the French directing duo of Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo (À l'intérieur) left the project due to "creative differences." So for now it looks like Pin-Head and the Gang are without a director. Hopefully, Dimension can get the ball rolling on the remake, because I don't think Barker could take another disappointment at the box office.

After the jump...find out what Barker really thinks about PG-13 horror.

No! For the love of God, make it stop!

According to Variety, Dimension Films is remaking that whimsical 80's classic Short Circuit. S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock, the writers behind the original two films, are set to write the remake. The film will reportedly be similar in theme to the original, but will factor in advances in technology. (Really? Last I checked, we didn't have sentient robots who could be your pal!)

This has to stop. I'm too young to see my childhood paraded before me like this, a demented nightmare of what once thrilled and delighted me. I loved this movie. It has honestly been a long time since I saw it, so I doubt it has held up -- but I love my memories of it. I also cherish my memory of the sequel. My parents took me to see it, it was a sold out showing. And I think it was only ten or twenty minutes in before I realized how horrible it was. I do believe it was the first time I was exposed to the realization that sequels were made for money, and were often wretched. Up until then, all the sequels I had ever seen (which probably amounted to Empire Strikes Back) were awesome and worthy continuations of characters I adored.

I realize I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but this trend has to stop. What's next? The Goonies? Gremlins? The Karate Kid? Big Trouble in Little China? Oh no, I've given them ideas.

So today is the day I officially feel old. Variety reports that Ice Cube has made a deal with Dimension Films for his comedy script Janky Promoters; a title that had me running to Urban Dictionary to figure out what the heck 'Janky' meant. But mid-life crisis aside, back to the real news: Cube will be producing the film along with Dimension and his partner Matt Alvarez, and will also star.

The story centers on two hip-hop promoters who are given the chance to put together an all-star show in California. When the two discover that they are in way over their heads, wackiness ensues. Bob Weinstein tells Variety, "This feels a lot like Uptown Saturday Night to me, a caper film where you have these music promoters who are slightly shady but are good enough guys that you root for them, this is going to be R-rated, and it appeals right to the core of Cube's audience." Thankfully, Cube is getting out of the kiddie flick business (at least for now) and Promoters is his first script since the Friday series finished back in 2002.

OK, so a musical comedy starring Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson has got to be a step up from a Tyler Perry movie, right? For Sharon Leal's sake, I certainly hope so. The Hollywood Reporter announced that Leal has joined the cast of Malcolm Lee's comedy musical Soul Men. The film centers on, "...bickering backup soul singers who haven't spoken in 20 years but reluctantly travel cross country together for a tribute concert to honor their famous former band leader." Leal will play Jackson's daughter Cleo, and thankfully will not serve as a love interest for either of the men. Leal starred in 2005's Dreamgirls as Michelle Morris, Effie White's replacement in the girl-group. Jackson and Mac will do all of their own singing and dancing for Soul Men, so I can only assume that since Leal has musical experience, she will be doing the same.

Christopher had first brought us news of the film last November. At that time, the only cast that had been announced was King of Comedy, Mac and Jackson. Surprisingly the project managed to escape being hit by the writer's strike that has been delaying productions left and right, and is set to start filming on January 21st (I guess Leal was hired just in time). The script was written by Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone, whose other credits included the Coen's Intolerable Cruelty and Man of the House -- neither of which is probably the best calling card for a screenwriter. Soul Men is scheduled for release on October 10th, 2008.