Have a happy Canada Day with these casting bites!

When I heard that Gore Vidal was going to pop up in Shrink, I went into literary fangirl heaven, which quickly became a fan rant. The movie stars Kevin Spacey as a shrink who isn't able to deal with a personal tragedy and becomes a burn-out pothead. And now The Hollywood Reporter posts that some young blood is being injected into the indie. Jesse Plemons (Friday Night Lights) gets to co-star as a pot dealer named Jesus. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's the shrink's drug connection.

Meanwhile, Doris Roberts, who became a household fixture as the overbearing mom and grandma on Everybody Loves Raymond, has picked up a new film gig. Variety reports that she's starring with Ernest Borgnine in a new film called Another Harvest Moon. She'll play "a relentlessly peppy septuagenarian in a nursing home." The film has got a pretty sweet cast that boasts the likes of Piper Laurie, Anne Meara, Cybill Shepherd, and Amber Benson.

Finally, there is Brian Baumgartner. Variety has posted that The Office star has picked up a gig in Into Temptation. This is the flick about the prostitute who plans to kill herself on her birthday, and the priest who tries to talk her out of it. Baumgartner will play a fellow priest named Fr. Ralph O'Brien.

For those of us who'll never get enough Andy Griffith, it was a real treat seeing him in this year's Waitress. In the film, he's a crotchety but lovable old diner-owner and guide to Keri Russell's "with child" pie-making protagonist. The best part about his role was how subtly crass he could get at times. If you haven't seen it (do it!), just picture Ben Matlock saying the following line: "I saw that look on a woman's face before. Her name was Anette. I made sweet sweet love to her all through the summer of 1948, and she had that look on her face all through the fall." Well, now we don't have to settle for stories from youth, because in Griffith's next movie he plays a guy on the prowl. The indie pic is titled Play the Game, and it casts the 81-year-old opposite Battlestar Galactica's Paul Campbell, who will play his grandson.

According to Variety, the plot centers on the inter-generational duo as they go out and pick up girls, the younger teaching the widowed elder how it's done. But of course the kid's game plan fails to work for grandpa, according to a synopsis from a 2003 script reading of Play the Game, and even causes problems for the old man when it ruins his chances with the woman of his dreams. The cast includes Everybody Loves Raymond Emmy-winner Doris Roberts, who I assume plays Griffith's love interest, and The Practice's Marla Sokoloff, who probably plays Campbell's -- though wouldn't that be an interesting twist if it was the other way around? Will we at least see him attempt to woo a girl who could be his great-granddaughter? Or hear some more naughty talk from ol' Andy Taylor? We'll just have to wait and see. The indie rom-com was written and is being directed by Marc Feinberg, and shooting began in Los Angeles this week.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas! No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f**king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse!

-- Clark W. Griswold (Chevy Chase)

After European Vacation, no one had any reason to believe the Vacation series would get back on track. Not to mention, almost without exception, movie series tend to get worse as they go along, right? Well, not this time.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ranks just slightly behind the original in terms of laughs, and it packs in even more heart without resorting to schmaltz. Again, I'm going to give a lot of the credit to John Hughes, the sole writer this time out. He makes just about every line funny, memorable, and quotable. He gives us a whole lot of characters, each well-defined and amusing. Hughes may have hit his peak here unfortunately, because after the following year's Home Alone, the man never wrote a great script again. (I think Dutch is hilarious, but even with all my Hughes love I can't call it "good.")

It was a "last hurrah" of sorts for Chevy Chase, too. Chase is really terrific here in what is, I'm sad to say, his final funny starring role (although I didn't see The Karate Dog). Oh, Chevy. What happened? Beverly D'Angelo returns, and is typically great ("Clark! Slow down! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!"). And my Lord, does Randy Quaid step it up here as Cousin Eddie. Chase's exchanges with Quaid are some of the film's funniest moments ("Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"). If Quaid's delivery of gems like "Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!" and "That's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year!" don't make you laugh, well ... lighten up.

   • Big Momma's House 2 - In Martin Lawrence's desperate minstrel show, the comedian reprises his role as undercover FBI agent Malcolm Turner, again donning a fat suit to become the sassy, black Southern matron Big Momma. He has to stop a potentially destructive computer hacker, and the movie is broad, shameless and pandering in most every respect. Lawrence appears to assume that we automatically like him and Big Momma, and does little to endear them to us any further. Incessant mugging, weak slapstick and Teflon catchphrases fill in the many cracks of its already shaky foundation, leaving a hammy house of horrors that should have been condemned when it was still a half-baked pitch.
    • Grandma's Boy - Adam Sandler's longtime second-banana, Allen Covert, gets his shot at a lead in this stoner comedy, but despite his appealing, aw-shucks demeanor, the movie, about a 36-year-old video game tester who moves in with his grandmother and her two roommates, is just irredeemably stupid. It is sad to see three lovely ladies like Doris Roberts, Shirley Jones and Shirley Knight stooping for laughs like this, though based on the fact that practically no one saw it in theaters (or will go out of their way to rent the DVD), it is a very minor tragedy.

Okay, I'm not against older people having hot sex or anything - heck, I hope when I'm 71 I'm still having some wild times. But do we really need to see Shirley Jones, matriarch of The Partridge Family, getting it on with a 24-year-old in the flick Grandma's Boy? I don't think so. In the film, Jones and her housemates, played by Shirley Knight and Everybody Loves Raymond's mom, Doris Roberts, get into a stash of hashish, which they mistakenly think is tea. The old ladies brew up the hash and drink it and, presumably, senior citizen naked romping and other such merriment ensues with a group of "fun loving young men". And no, kids, I'm not making this up.

As if the fact this movie stars both Rob Schneider and David Spade wasn't enough to keep me far, far away from seeing it (unless I'm forced to review it for some karmic injustice I committed in a previous lifetime), old lady stoner sex is definitely the topper. Maybe it's just me, but seeing a movie starring two actors who I would pay to stop making movies, combined with a bunch of horny old grannies getting it on with young men whose idea of "fun" is boffing a bunch of stoned old ladies just isn't my idea of time well spent. What's next? A movie with a "hot lesbian sex scene" with Shirley Jones and Florence Henderson, aka Mrs.Brady? Hey, and then David Cassidy and Barry Williams walk in on them, and boom-chicka-chicka-boing-boing...