empire pictures Tagged Articles at Cinematical
Somebody Freakin' Pinch Me: The Sea-Monkeys Movie?
Filed under: Animation », Deals », Family Films », Newsstand »
Every time we think Hollywood has hit the deepest depths of looniness, someone comes along and lowers the bottom. Get this: Michael Birnbaum's Empire Pictures (no, not that Empire Pictures) has purchased the movie & TV rights to ... Sea-Monkeys. Yes, Sea-Monkeys, those lovable specimens of ever-hibernating brine shrimp that were sold on the back covers of comic books all over the universe. (Coming Soon: X-Ray Specs: The Movie!)Birnbaum apparently sees some sort of Smurfs-style sensation in the Sea-Monkeys, and just wait till you get a load of these Variety quotes: "I grew up with Sea-Monkeys," (Birnbaum) said. "The property's instant name recognition on a global basis makes it a platform from which to launch an animated film franchise." So what he basically means is: Lots of people recognize the phrase "sea-monkeys," and therefore one simply must make a movie franchise out of said phrase. Even better is the quote from Transcience CEO Yolanda von Braunhut, who said "Dozens of producers have inquired about making a Sea-Monkeys film over the years, but Michael's passion and vision made him the clear choice to guide these lovable and telepathic beings who want to be our friends on their journey to the silver screen."
Passion and vision. Lovable and friends. Dude. They're BRINE SHRIMP, tiny little genetically-enhanced Artemia branchiopods (generally referred to as "water fleas") that you probably bought 20 years ago, only to let the silly little creatures die in 2.3 days. Coming soon to a
Tommy Chong and the Evil Bong
Filed under: Comedy », Horror », Casting »
Sometimes you hear about the plot of a new movie and you think, "Damn, why didn't I come up with such a simple concept?" -- while other times you find yourself wondering "Who the hell would make a movie THIS stupid?" Both of those thoughts careened through my brain when I saw the cover for Charles Band's next flick, the inevtiably awful but hilariously stupid-looking Evil Bong. Yes, that's right: Someone finally got the smart idea to make a horror movie called Evil Bong.If the name Charles Band sounds familiar, then you're probably a serious movie geek who's also the same approximate age as yours truly. As manager of Empire Pictures / Full Moon, Band littered the '80s & '90s with low-rent fun-trash such as Troll, TerrorVision, Ghoulies, and the endless parade of Puppet Master sequels. These days Chuck is running an outfit that delivers titles like Doll Graveyard, The Gingerdead Man, and ... yes, Evil Bong -- which stars Tim Thomerson, Bill Moseley, and (of course) good ol' Tommy Chong.
I've got a perfect tagline for the flick: "Evil Bong! It'll make you hungry ... for a good movie."
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