January's still being pretty skimpy with the DVD treats. This week we get another slob comedy, another football movie, another action movie, another slasher flick and another video-shelf sequel to a movie that nobody really enjoyed all that much in the first place. So please, friends, rent before you buy.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning -- So here we have a prequel to a remake of a classic, and the law of diminishing returns is in full effect. What we were promised -- a dark and nasty tale of Leatherface's icky origins -- is relegated to a sketchy prologue, and the rest of the movie is sub-standard slasher fare in every sense of the term. Points to the team for doling out the gory stuff, but with characters like this (and a pace this glacial) there's very little reason to care who gets sliced and when. Still, the mega-rabid R. Lee Ermey is always good for a few goofy laughs. Extras on the unrated edition include a producer/director audio commentary, a 46-minute 'making of' documentary, four deleted scenes and three alternate endings.

If you read this site very often (and my stuff in particular) you know I don't like going out to the movie multiplex as much as I used to. When I do venture out, I'm usually at some sort of screening and so I'm not exposed to one of the things I actually miss about going to the movie multiplex -- trailers.

A good trailer can make you excited to see a film just like a bad one can make you wonder how something like that ever got made in the first place. Maybe somebody lost a bet or something? Sadly, we'll probably never know. Good or bad, interesting or ridiculous, trailers are still one of the most effective ways to market a film and build awareness of it out there with the public.

Without trailers, the public would have to rely on word of mouth or the press to help them decide which movies to see. Believe me, no studio wants that -- so instead, we get trailers. Over at iFilm they've listed their top-ten worst trailers of the year -- at least according to iFilm users. Some of the cinematic gems represented by this list include Employee of the Month, Zoom and the superbly bad Codename: The Cleaner. Hey, how did that movie get made? Did someone lose a bet or something? Enjoy.

The Farrelly Bros. (remember, they had that one good movie called There's Something About Mary back in 1998?) are teaming up with National Lampoon (sadly, I believe we have to travel back into the 80s in order to dig up the last piece of quality entertainment from these folks) on a new comedy called Bag Boy.

What's essentially an attempt by National Lampoon to revitalize their brand, pic marks the first of four films annually National Lampoon plans to shovel out -- all of which will be packaged together and produced inhouse -- a rarity for the 36 year-old company. According to CEO Daniel Laikin, each flick will have a budget of around $12 million or less and they will focus on developing properties found within their magazine, which ceased production in 1992. So, not only will the comedies be bad, but they'll be based on extremely old ideas. Yay!

As far as Bag Boy goes, it appears they're taking the only funny thing about Employee of the Month and stretching it out into a feature film. That's right, pic will revolve around the world of competitive grocery bagging. And, while I don't want to depress you any further, I do have to note that the script was re-written by Mort Nathan -- yes, as in Mort "Boat Trip" Nathan. Production will begin next year, and there's currently no word on whether the Farrelly Bros. will also direct or strictly produce.

Thanks to one of the best casts we've seen in quite some time, Martin Scorsese had the greatest opening weekend of his career with The Departed racking up a dominating $27 million. The director's previous best was $10.3 million, set back in 1991 with the film Cape Fear. While it's a bit frightening to think that a director of this caliber has never had a pic debut with more than $10 million, do keep in mind Scorsese's films usually open on a smaller number of screens before rolling out on a larger scale. However, with an all-star team of talent, Warner Bros. decided to swing big, throwing The Departed into 3,017 theaters. And boy did it pay off.

Though it made a good attempt to keep pace, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning failed to hack its way to the top, settling for a respectable $19.15 million and the weekend's second spot. With only a $16 million production budget, I'd imagine Texas Chainsaw: The Middle and Texas Chainsaw: The End will show up sooner rather than later. The Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson comedy Employee of the Month ($11.8 million) was in third place after Friday, but bad buzz and a whole lot of youngsters demoted it down one notch to fourth, while the animated Open Season (last week's number one) scored spot number three with $16 million. And knocking Jackass: Number Two ($6.4 million) out of the top five for the first time since its release, The Guardian rounded things out with $9.6 million.

Full numbers after the jump.

The Friday numbers are in folks, and it appears The Departed has jumped out in front with a demanding $8.4 million. Aside from extreme violence and cursing, audiences are also in the mood to see some horrific chainsaw action as Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning followed not too far behind with $7.2 million.

The weekend's third new release, Employee of the Month, limped its way out of the gate, but (as of today) still manages to hold on to the weekend's number three spot with $4.1 million. Open Season (3.8 million) and The Guardian (2.9 million) round out the top five. With Columbus Day reaching our shores on Monday, this weekend should certainly bring in this fall's biggest box office numbers, what with an eclectic choice of an Irish Mob crime drama, a classic horror prequel and a major commercial comedy. If things remain this way, it will also be the first weekend since September 15 where the top three slots feature films making their debut. Stay tuned to Cinematical for the final numbers later this weekend.

To be fair, Employee of the Month is not a bad movie. It's just not a very good one either. Pic, which takes place in a Costco-like store called Club Super, feels a lot like its setting; the cast, the jokes and the story all come in bulk with very little quality attached to them. Dane Cook (who's recently made the transition from world's most popular stand-up comedian to that dude who stars in mediocre films) plays Zack, a guy who still lives with his grandma, has no car and never aspired to be anything more than box boy at the local Club Super -- a job he's owned for years.

While Zack has perfected his underachiever status, Vince (Dax Shepard) is the complete opposite. As a cashier (known to have the fastest hands in the Southwest with a 9.1 pass-through rate), Vince has won employee of the month 17 times in a row. At the beginning of the film, the employees of Club Super are told that if Vince wins the prize for a 18th time (a new store record), he will be awarded with a brand new Chevy Malibu. Vince wants that Chevy. In his mind, he deserves that Chevy. Thus, his mission is set: win employee of the month one more time and all of his wildest dreams will come true. And things are great ... until she shows up.

A few changes have been made to the release dates for some upcoming films. So, in case you're interested in that sort of thing (admit it, you're a release date nut!), stick around and check out the following:

• Those of you itching to catch Jessica Simpson ruin another movie with her horrible acting skills won't have to wait as long anymore seeing as the release date for Employee of the Month has been moved up from September 29 to September 15. The comedy (which currently sports some brand new posters) also stars Dane Cook and Dax Shepard.
• No one knows what's going on with the upcoming Pulse, except that the film has swapped more dates than Lindsay Lohan. Originally, pic was supposed to hit theaters on July 14, only to have its release pushed back to September 8. Now, it seems they've settled into August 8, though, with still a month to go, chances are this puppy will be heading somewhere else. We'll keep you posted.
• The supposed last martial arts-related film in Jet Li's career also has a new release date. Yeah, and Sean Connery is really retiring too. C'mon Jet, you'll be back kicking ass in no time -- just admit it already. Li's Fearless has been pushed back to September 22 after originally settling down to an early August bow.
• Man, and here I was really looking forward to a new werewolf flick. Seriously, I was. I like werewolves. They're cute. Anyway, something is up with the new flick Skinwalkers, as its release date has been pushed back from December to sometime in April 2007. Either production is running long or the filmmakers want to wait until the season's change and the sun stays out longer. Yeah, that joke failed. I'm out of here.

(That, I feel compelled to point out, is a sarcastic headline though, given that among the employees is one Jessica Simpson, I'm sure the suits involved are ok with their movie's likely lack of quality, and will be laughing all the way to the bank.) The storyline of Employee of the Month sounds a bit like Stacked, except with a different buxom blonde, and set in "a Costco-like" joint instead of a bookstore. The centeral characters are a pair of best friends (played by Dax Shepard and Dane Cook) who are jolted out of their workplace boredom by the arrival of a "hot new cashier" (I'll let you guess who might be playing that role). In an effort to impress said hottie with their ambition, the friends launch into a "an all-out war to become the store's next employee of the month." Also in the cast are Harland Williams and Pedro Efren Ramirez, both of whom coworkers of the big three. Needless to say, the hilarity will never, ever stop, and the movie will draw the same, inexplicably-large audiences that welcomed Cook's last effort, Waiting... (despite the absence of Ryan Reynolds).

The movie starts shooting this week in New Mexico, so it should be available for our viewing pleasure by the end of the year.