(Warning: Foul language in the clip, and a helping of gore in the final seconds.)

It didn't seem all that surprising when Fergie (Stacy Ann Ferguson) signed on for a role in Grindhouse. It was a pulp, grindhouse film -- one that suited random cameos. But watching her performance above, did you ever think "Gee, she'd be great acting alongside the likes of Daniel Day-Lewis and Judi Dench"?

Variety reports that the singer and actress is in negotiations for a part in Nine -- the musical re-do of Fellini's 8 1/2. She'll play Saraghina, who "introduces Guido to the world of sexuality." Yes, that means she gets to teach Daniel Day the saucy ways of love. Is this for real? Am I the only one wondering how on earth this came to be?

Shooting starts this October in the UK, and features a wickedly diverse cast that boasts Day-Lewis, Marion Cottilard, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren, Nicole Kidman, and Judi Dench.

There is nothing new about the debate over rampant commercialism and Sex and the City. So, I'm not even going to go into whether empowerment can be achieved through shopping. But, Fergie's new theme song for the big-screen SATC has hit the web, and she has no qualms about making an ode to designer labels. Titled Labels or Love, the track sounds like a My Humps redux, and frankly, it's pretty awful. For starters, throughout most of the song I had a hard time understanding what she was even saying. But when you can make out the lyrics, they include such philosophical statements as: "Love is a like a runway," "Stop chasing those boys and shop some more," and "No emotional baggage, just replace it with Dior."

Fans of the show have been awaiting the feature film version with bated breath since the news first hit, and the fever pitch has only risen now that Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker have been letting the spoilers fly. Unfortunately, SATC was never really my thing, so I only have a passing curiosity to see how they translate Carrie and the gang on the screen. One thing is for sure, if this theme song is an indication of the music for the movie, I definitely won't be buying the soundtrack.

Take a listen and tell me what you think: Did Fergie improve upon the original? Or is this track best reserved for the closing credits?

Jenna Jameson. As I'm sure you know, she's a pretty popular porn star who wrote How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale -- a book that stayed on the New York Times bestseller list for six weeks. (I'll refrain from bemoaning a world that lets that happen!) What is there to say? According to her Wikipedia entry, a lot -- rape, porn, implants, women, men, marriage, divorce, miscarriage, cancer. Sounds like an upper, eh? Lots of sex intermingled with heartache. We already know that Jameson wanted Scarlett Johansson to play her. Yeah right. Now IGN is helping the powers-that-be behind the upcoming feature come up with possibilities.

Maybe I'm being a stickler, but I'm having a hard time thinking any actress in Hollywood could pull off Jameson, even if they wanted. The woman has one chin plant (whatever) and sported two, yes TWO rounds of breast implants to make a big triple-D. Unless they're planning to show her life without all the sex (which would be dumb as that would drastically cut into the potential audience), they've got to have a woman with ... at least grapefruits, if not basketballs, resting in their bra.

IGN offers the following actresses: Fergie, Heather Graham, Erica Durance, Rachel McAdams and Jessica Simpson. Okay, I'm on board with Fergie. But the rest really aren't porn-star endowed, since I think they are all sporting their natural curves. Check it out for yourself (no nudity, but of course, there is cleavage): natural, implanted, natural, implanted, natural, implanted, natural and implanted. I wouldn't be surprised if Simpson got even bigger and took on the role. She might be refusing it now, but it isn't like she has many options. I think they're going to have a hard time casting this sucker, so don't be surprised if we're left wondering for a while.

It's only been two days since Spike Lee was announced as the director of an upcoming James Brown biopic for Paramount Pictures and Imagine Entertainment, but already the internet is buzzing with rumors as to who will play the legendary performer. Unfortunately, Starpulse News reports via Page Six (extremely reliable source, I know) that Usher is very much interested in the role. For those who don't know Usher, he's the cocky 28-year-old R&B singer/performer who's kind of like a young Michael Jackson rip-off rolled up into that annoying "cool" kid from high school -- ya know, the one you just wanted to snap in two as he sashayed down the hall, but were too afraid of being sued. Yeah, him.

Another name being tossed into the rumor pile is Fergie (aka Stacy Ferguson) from the Black Eyed Peas -- she'd like to land a part as one of Brown's wives. Unlike Usher (who has yet to make a real name for himself on the big screen, save for, ahem, In the Mix), Ferguson has appeared in Be Cool, Poseidon and has a part in the upcoming Grindhouse. Now, I don't mean to enrage you Usher fanatics out there, but c'mon -- do you really think he's cool enough to play James Brown? Seriously. Maybe -- just maybe -- I'd accept him in the role of a young Brown if, say, they got Eddie Murphy (for example) to step in after the first half hour to play an older version.

What do you think of Usher as James Brown? Do you dig that choice, or do you throw up a little bit in your mouth just thinking about the possibility of Usher in the main role?

[via Filmstalker]

So, it turns out that reports of Grind House's demise were greatly exaggerated. Either that, or Robert Rodriguez and Dimension Films are in complete denial, because they've just officially announced the cast (much of which has already been revealed by glorious internet rumors) for Planet Terror, Rodriguez's segment of the film -- guess he didn't quit, huh? According to Variety, in addition to Rose McGowan and Michael Biehn (both of whom we already knew about), the movie will star Freddy Rodríguez, Josh Brolin, Jeff Fahey, and that great thespian Fergie, from Black Eyed Peas (who knew a roll in an epic bomb would lead to more work?).

Just to review, Rodriguez's film is scary and involves zombies. And that's pretty much all we know -- but hey, who doesn't like zombies? If all goes well and no more directors "quit" or anything, Dimension plans to release Grind House next April, during the long Easter Weekend.