fired up Tagged Articles at Cinematical

As last year, I want to use this space to highlight some terrific films that came down the pike in the first six months of the year -- and merrily continued down the pike without anyone giving much of a damn. This happens to a host of deserving movies every year; given how much of a miracle it is when an indie actually takes off, there's no avoiding it. But these seven are eminently worth your time; at the very least, I promise they're interesting. Give them a shot.

1. Two Lovers (James Gray) -- Actually my favorite film of the year, this melancholy character study is carried out with such painstaking attention to detail that it becomes akin to one of Henry Selick's stop-motion miracles -- watching it inspires a sort of awe. This is James Gray's follow-up to We Own the Night, and Gray has announced himself as one of our most important newcomers, a master at creating living, breathing, populated, real universes for his characters to inhabit. [Now on DVD.]

2. Julia (Erick Zonca) - This movie barely saw theaters at all -- I saw it in a one-week run courtesy of our local Film Society -- but it might have been a decent investment for an actual distributor. Though it has someone profoundly unpleasant at its center -- the perpetually drunk and nasty title character, played by the incredible Tilda Swinton -- it eventually turns into a remarkably tense little thriller, complete with a classic kidnapping scenario and a chance for the rotten protagonist's redemption. [On DVD August 18th.]

As someone who watches most new releases, I wind up listening to critics on the margins. If the logline and advertising make a movie look brutal, and I'm not obligated to see it, I'll sometimes skip the screening (if there is one) and wait for the critics to weigh in. If the reviews are middling-to-decent, I'll bite the bullet and go. If they seem to confirm my initial impression, I might let that particular film pass.

Except sometimes that method fails me. As I've learned over the years, and as an experience last week proved for me beyond a shadow of a doubt, the mainstream critical establishment is not to be trusted when it comes to comedies; in particular, when it comes to the type of comedy that conceals intelligence under a sophomoric facade. Time and again, I've seen comedies panned, gone anyway, discovered a smart and funny gem, and wondered what the hell everyone's problem is.

An example. James Berardinelli introduces Fired Up! with this horrifying line: "Move over, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer!" "No one in this movie has an idea in their bubbly little brains," moans Roger Ebert. The Detroit News' Tom Long calls it the latest in "a million-mile-long line of purposely dumb adolescent sex comedies" (though he does give the film a C+ for not being "painful"). On and on like that, to 30% on the tomatometer.

It would be a shame if the stinging loss the Jonas Brothers suffered at the hands of fellow Disney Channel pop superstar Hannah Montana doesn't give those nice-looking boys an inferiority complex. Still, it's hard not to note how the $12 million debut for Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience compares to Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: The Best of Both Worlds Tour's $31 million bow. Adding insult to injury, Hannah Montana managed the feat on just under 700 screens, while les freres Jonas had 1,300 to work with. I'm not too up on the trends in tween girl entertainment, so I invite analysis in the comments. I thought the Jonas Brothers were nearly as much of a sensation as Hannah/Miley.

The Jonases did kick the crap out of the aging, ailing Street Fighter franchise, the latest installment of which opened to a powerful $4.65 million (albeit on around 1200 screens). The best part is that, though Fox declined to screen the film for the press (junketeers excepted, natch), it scheduled midnight shows for the film around the country. I was required to attend last Thursday night, and I was one of five people in the theater. Interest in the film may have been wildly overestimated.

The whiffs from Jonas and Street Fighter (relative from Jonas; absolute from Street Fighter) allowed Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail another week atop the box office, despite the hefty 60% second weekend drop typical of the Perry franchise. With a total gross of nearly $65 million, Madea Goes to Jail is already the most lucrative Tyler Perry movie ever.

Tyler Perry is undeniably an enormous cash cow for Lionsgate. His films are inexpensive to produce (though no doubt Perry himself is commanding a steadily bigger paycheck with every film), and the least of them (the non-Madea-related Daddy's Little Girls) grossed $30 million; Madea's Family Reunion made upwards of $60. As a pure brand-name draw, I thought Perry might be fading a bit; his two 2008 offerings, one of which featured the profane, drag-tastic powerhouse Madea, both ended up toward the bottom of his filmography. Nothing doing. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail made an eye-popping $41 million on a slow weekend, handily toppling the previous Perry opening record held by Family Reunion. Has there ever been another film (or set of films) with such niche popularity (in this case: African-American, Christian) but such minimal crossover appeal?

(By the way: I haven't seen any of Perry's films, but I find the photo that accompanies this post so inexplicably funny I'm almost tempted to go watch this one.)

Screen Gems' Fired Up!, the only other film to go wide this weekend (perhaps as part of a conspiracy to make people watch the Oscars) made $6 million and landed in 9th place, which actually isn't wretched for the cheap, low-expectations release.

The other notable story from the charts is Friday the 13th, which lost an awesome 81% of its opening-weekend gross and dropped from first place to sixth. Horror films with big openings are notoriously susceptible to big second-weekend drops, but 81% is almost unprecedented -- the only wide release this decade to suffer worse is the infamous Gigli. Among horror films, only Captivity (77% in 2007) came close.

Next week, we'll see what kind of "Oscar bump" Slumdog Millionare gets, but it doesn't need much help: with a slight screen count boost, it rose to #5 this weekend and is almost at $100 million.

The full top 10 after the jump.

The poster for Fired Up! emphasizes the letters "F" and "U," as if it were almost, but not quite brave enough to do something dirty. It's ostensibly a movie about two horny teenage high school football players (played by thirty year-olds) who sneak into cheerleader camp to get laid. It sounds like it could be a kind of Porky's and Meatballs sandwich. But the PG-13 rating that's required to lure in horny teenage boys prevents the characters from saying or doing anything dirty, like taking off too many clothes or having sex (in fact, there's arguably more male flesh on display here than female flesh). And so instead of sneaking, the boys have to pretend that they're on the team. And thus all the jokes, and the plot, go about halfway, then pull back in shame -- unless they're gay jokes, in which case anything goes. (Strange hypocrisy, that.)

Only Eric Christian Olsen as football captain Nick has enough of a carefree attitude to lighten things up; he's the one that makes a funny face or a snarky comment anytime anyone says or does anything stupid -- which is nearly all the time -- but even he can't save the entire film. His pal is sensitive Shawn (Nicholas D'Agosto), who has the misfortune to fall in love with his teammate Carly (Sarah Roemer), thereby losing interest in his mission. He can't have Carly because 1) he has lied to her about his reason for sneaking into cheerleading camp, and 2) she has an obnoxious boyfriend, a med student called Dr. Rick (David Walton) who sings along with Chumbawumba in his convertible BMW ("it's like the soundtrack to my life!"). Carly is also the only woman smart enough not to fall for the duo's seductive sweet-talk ("I don't usually open up like this") but she's even dumber than all the rest of the women, since she has fallen for Dr. Rick's annoying shtick.

1. Friday the 13th: $40.7 million
2. He's Just Not That Into You: $19.6 million
3. Taken: $19 million
4. Confessions of a Shopaholic: $15 million
5. Coraline: $14.7 million

Both of this week's new releases are comedies, and both make me think this could be a good weekend to stay home with a good book.

Fired Up
What's It All About: Two high school jocks decide they like the male to female ratio at cheering camp better than football camp, and actually improve the lackluster cheering squad's chance to compete.
Why It Might Do Well: I lack the optimism to even make something up.
Why It Might Not Do Well: A plot that seems to blend Porky's, American Pie, and Bring It On to say nothing of a 33% rating at Rottentomatoes.com will probably keep this one out of the top five entirely.
Number of Theaters: 1,800
Prediction: $6 million

New Line insists on "reimagining," but from reading the reviews I take it nobody's buying.

Anyway. Friday the 13th set a horror remake opening weekend record, grossing $40.7 million over the three days and $45.2 including President's Day Monday. That beats Marcus Nispel's Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake by more than $12 million. It's also roughly the second best President's Day weekend opening ever, behind only Ghost Rider and just about tied with 50 First Dates and Daredevil.

Confessions of a Shopaholic opened to a halfway decent $17.3 million, while The International more or less flopped with $10.7 million; the marketing for the latter really pushed the evil bank concept, complete with a shot of an ATM offering "murder" "corruption" and "extortion" as options instead of "withdrawal" "deposit" and "check balance." Maybe people thought it was a comedy.

It was another good weekend for holdovers, with Taken, Coraline and -- once again -- Paul Blart: Mall Cop all doing well. Taken's $81-million-and-counting is really remarkable. $120 million is assured at this point, with more possible. "Sleek, preposterous and breathlessly entertaining" appears to be a good formula. Meanwhile, maybe if I stop mentioning Paul Blart in these posts, it'll go away? Seems unlikely.

Leading up to the Oscars, Slumdog Millionare should be close to $100 million by the big night. The Reader also saw a late bump this weekend; a Kate Winslet win on Sunday can't hurt.

The full 4-day top 10 after the jump.

Friday the 13th
This is the new full length trailer for the reimagining of the classic horror franchise. Sexually active young adults being stalked by a big dude in a goalie mask. Aside from a Jason who is much faster than the lumbering killing machine in countless sequels I don't see anything new here. This hits theaters on Friday February 13.

Terminator Salvation
OK, this is really just a preview of the preview which is kind of lame. Entertainment Tonight is going to have the official first look at the full Terminator: Salvation trailer next tuesday, but this clip from the 12/4 shows some intriguing bits. Terminator 3 pretty much killed my interest in the series, but between this and the teaser trailer they've definitely got my attention. Salvation begins on May 22.

Donkey Punch
Despite a title that implies some bizarre form of animal cruelty (and the actual meaning of the term is even more disturbing) this is a horror suspense yarn about a good time gone very wrong. Three girls out partying in Spain meet some guys and go back to their yacht. One of the girls ends up dead after some rough sex games and the plot is off and running. The trailer makes me think of Wolf Creek, another young-people's-vacation-turns-to-horror movie. Look for this in theaters on January 23 in limited release.

Goodness knows the world wasn't asking for the equivalent of National Lampoon's Bring It On (alternate title: Take It Off), but if we had to be subjected to the forthcoming cheer romp that is Fired Up!, why has it taken nine years to cash in on the trend? I can't otherwise understand how else this comedy -- the trailer for which we've included after the jump -- has gotten off the ground.

See, it's about a pair of high school football players (played by 31-year-old Eric Christian Olsen and 28-year-old Nicholas D'Agosto) who opt out on their team training in order to tag along with the all-female cheerleading squad to their cheer camp/competition. Besides, with 300 ready-and-waiting young women at their alleged disposal, what are the odds that one of our guys will instead want to hook up with the cutie (Sarah Roemer) calling their bluff? And what chance could there possibly be that she already has a dick-ish boyfriend who can't help but make them look like more sensible guys in comparison? Might hilarity ensue?!

Check out this collection of old and new faces, courtesy of Variety:

• He became super famous, or at least, super recognizable after jutting out his lower lip and playing Bubba in Forrest Gump. Now Mykelti Williamson is doomed to some terrible death -- or at least, he's doomed to be surrounded by it. He's picked up a role in the next accident fest -- Final Destination 4. Unfortunately, there's no word on who he'll play -- whether he'll have a bit part, or figure prominently. Either way, you'll get to see him in 3D! In the meantime, you can catch him in Vice, a new drama starring Michael Madsen and Daryl Hannah.
• Then we've got Saturday Night Live alum Nora Dunn. Recently, she's been hanging out on the Pineapple Express, but now she's also getting spiritual -- or at least, into the spiritual business. Dunn has signed on to play a literary agent in the upcoming Jeff Daniels film The Dream of the Romans, which I told you about the other day. Daniels stars as a reclusive writer of spiritual books who gets hounded for advice by a few eager fans.
• Finally, there's more talent signing on to the Patrick Swayze comedy Fired Up, which focuses on two guys who sign up for cheerleader's camp to pick up girls -- AnnaLynne McCord (Nip/Tuck) and Jake Sandvig (Sky High). There is no word on McCord's character (although I bet it would be safe to assume that she'll be a cheerleader), while Sandvig will play some dude named Downey. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. (I really hope this is good, for Swayze's sake.)