Let's imagine Tony Soprano in one of his 3 am near-comas. Rich food and stress is keeping him awake, as the rest of his family sleeps soundly in their Jersey mini-mansion. Having just loaded an extra-extra large hot fudge sundae into his gut, he's half-awake on the sofa, watching television. This is a scene that happened repeatedly during The Sopranos, when Tony would sometimes see an old movie that would cut him to the quick, or else plant a seed of doubt in him, tipping him off to some unsuspected treachery in his world. Tonight's screening is a weird, weird film from 1968...so damned weird that the next day, Tony wouldn't be sure if he didn't doze off during it, adding plot details from his own dream-life.

Skidoo by Otto Preminger--a resounding, loathed failure in its time--has a cult, like almost all failures do. It includes the first appearance by the reliable character actor and acting teacher Austin Pendleton. Also making her debut was the famed pioneer African-American model and Warhol star Donyale Luna (memorable from this photograph you've seen in every beauty salon, in which Luna's leanness and sinew is visually contrasted with a line of elephants). (here's a famous photo of her) Unique casting compliments a really one-of-a-kind musical/satire that shows how beyond "good" and "bad" some films are.

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." - Groucho Marx

That famous line is one of Groucho's best, but it is always attributed as being un-sourced. Did he actually say it? Was he in fact mis-quoted? Where did the line come from? I guess it doesn't matter. But if you're planning to dress up as Groucho for Halloween this year, you'll be wanting to memorize some of his lines, because doing an impersonation is necessary for certain costumes, such as that one. Last year I dressed up as Harpo instead of Groucho, because I'm terrible at remembering exact lines, always mis-quoting people and characters; for Harpo all I needed was to close my mouth and honk my horn.

Anyway, there's a new list over at The List Universe laying out the 15 most mis-quoted or mis-remembered lines in cinema, and I thought it would come in handy to any of you dressing up as movie characters this October 31. Going as Dracula? Don't say, "I want to suck your blood." Or as Tarzan? Don't incorrectly utter the words, "Me Tarzan, you Jane." Other famously mis-quoted lines come from Casablanca, Star Wars, Star Trek, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Frankenstein, Apollo 13, The Lives of a Bengal Lancer, She Done Him Wrong, Blonde Crazy and White Heat (poor, mis-quoted Cagney!). Sure, a few of them are just barely off the mark, and I think the list is being a bit picky with the Forrest Gump quote, but nonetheless these are lines we think were spoken, yet they never were -- except the Sherlock Holmes one, it seems.

Of course, most of the films come from a time before we could re-watch movies over and over again on VHS or DVD. However, a few were released in the modern, repeat-viewable era. Either way, it is strange how all of these mis-quotes became so commonly attributed and how they exist so prominently within the popular consciousness -- enough that parodies tend to mis-parody the mis-quotes, such as one of my favorite lines from UHF, "Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers." I guess maybe it wouldn't be as funny if the movie had correctly imitated The Treasure of the Sierra Madre by instead using the longer, " "Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badgers!"

If you're a true movie geek, you probably refuse to dress up at Halloween in anything but a movie-related costume. I guess I'm not a true movie geek, because two years ago I went as Family Guy's Quagmire, who as of yet is not in any movies. Last year, though, I was Harpo Marx. I haven't decided what to be this year yet, but it isn't definite that I'll be something with cinematic reference.

Of course, if I was a real, hardcore movie geek, I wouldn't just settle for the basic, predictable movie-themed outfit. I'd go for the gold, and be an uber-geek. How? I would doubly dress up as a movie character who is dressed up as somebody or something else. To do so, I would pick one of my favorite non-Halloween costumes and disguises depicted on film (it isn't as fun dressing as a character who is dressed up for Halloween). However, most of these would be difficult to achieve -- or at least too obscure to wear to a common party, where the crowd isn't as film familiar as you. If you attempt any of these, good luck! And please, please send me a photo.

1. Harpo Marx and Chico Marx as Groucho Marx in Duck Soup (1933, Leo McCarey)

See, now if I had really wanted to be geeky (or pretentious), I would have not just dressed as Harpo last Halloween; I would have dressed as Harpo dressed as Groucho. In one of the most famous sequences in any Marx Brothers film, Pinky (Harpo) and Chicolini (Chico) each disguises himself as Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho) in order to steal some war plans. The real gem of the sequence, of course, is the "mirror scene" (watch it if you've never seen it before, please), where Pinky pretends to be the reflection of Rufus until Chicolini appears and ruins everything. Although historically it was only Harpo and Chico who were often mistaken for each other, or for twins, all three brothers look so alike here, that when they're all together, it is almost difficult to tell who is who. If you want to pull this double-costume off, it won't be hard -- Grouch faces are easy to do, and then you just need a sleeping cap and gown -- but I doubt you'll get much tolerance when you constantly correct everyone who thinks you're simply Groucho.

Today is Groucho Marx's birthday -- he was born in 1890. As someone who has a cat named Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho's character in Duck Soup), I felt I had to commemorate the occasion. And I thought, what better way to start a Monday than with a reminder of the famous stateroom scene in A Night at the Opera?

A Night at the Opera isn't one of my favorite Marx Brothers movies; I'm much fonder of their earlier films Duck Soup, Horse Feathers, and Monkey Business. I realize a lot of people will argue with me, but I feel like the opera bits tend to slow down the comedy. However, no one can argue that the stateroom scene, in which 15 people manage to cram themselves into a tiny room, is a wonderful gag. The contract-signing scene is also memorably funny. The cast includes Margaret Dumont, who was the Marx Brothers' best straight man, as well as a young Kitty Carlisle. More info, trivia, and photos can be found at the Night at the Opera fan site.