If there is one thing I want to learn from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- one damn thing -- it's why the hell Dr. Henry Jones Jr. didn't end up married to Marion Ravenwood. Was she just too much for him? Or did she dump him, fed up with a man who was not only a scattered academic, but a fly-by-night adventurer? Really, that has to be a tough combo when you just want him to take you out to dinner.

With Kingdom of the Crystal Skull not only bringing back Ms. Ravenwood, but introducing the domineering Irina Spalko, I think it's high time we discussed Indy's women. Where would Dr. Jones be without the ladies? Without Marion, he probably would have been in an early grave, without Willie Scott and Elsa Schneider, he may have been spared a few extra scars.

I don't really need to sing the praises of Ms. Ravenwood here. We already know how she was the coolest sidekick of all, the sort of kickass chick who was not only unusual in 1981, but still pretty rare today. She rivals Princess Leia as one of George Lucas' finest characters. (It's rather sobering that the man who gave us Leia, Marion and Sorsha could only conjure up the broken-hearted Amidala years later. Seriously, Lucas, you burned your geek girl cred on that one.) I give Lucas the credit because my gut says it is owed him. When it comes to his action-adventure movies, Spielberg never quite spent the kind of time on his heroines like Lucas did. But he gets major props for the way his moms shine -- Spielberg knows that when you have kids, you don't immediately become a screeching moron -- even if your kids do surprise you with an extra-terrestrial.

I think this photo is officially the funniest still I have seen from a movie, ever. IESB.net was sent four photos from Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull from an unknown source. They are quite grainy, so I bet they were scanned in from some kind of companion book.

There's a very classic and iconic one of Indy cracking his bullwhip -- and I very nearly posted it, but we've seen that before. What we've never seen is a Russian Cate Blanchett getting sucker punched ... by Shia LaBeouf! It's like the entire Cold War boiled down to one single image -- you're going down, Communism! But if Irina Spalko is the uber-villain Lucas and Spielberg say she is, there's no way she's going to take that from Mutt Williams. (Then again, if Rocky IV taught us anything, it's that Russians can be beaten by much weaker opponents.)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (sucker) punches its way into theaters on May 22.