I've been told you simply MUST see a Jackass film in the theater, surrounded by a ton of rowdy fans drunk with enthusiasm. That this is truly the best way to watch these guys destroy one another on screen. While I still don't see the Jackass appeal, I'll try my best to reserve judgment until I do actually see one of their films in a packed house (which I probably won't do, but a boy can dream). That being said, Jackass 2.5 is now available online for free ... but you need to jump several hurdles before you can watch. First you need to download software, then you need to enter your personal info so they can verify your age, and then you need to wait for an email with a link to the movie -- and then you need to open your email, click on the link and, finally, the film begins to play. Phew.

But it's a free Jackass movie (for now), and those fans who can't get enough of their antics will most likely enjoy the new material. Based on what I saw, the film is entirely comprised of stuff left on the cutting room floor from Jackass Part Two. So basically you're getting an entire film worth of stuff they didn't think was fun enough for the other film. Like watching Steve-O attempt to fly a kite with his ass. Or watching the fat one (what's his name again?) stand on top of a Port a Potty painted black while the gang fly miniature airplanes at him, a la King Kong. I imagine this type of stuff is a lot funnier when you're watching with a group of other fans, while injecting alcohol straight into your brain, but free is free and, well, what else do you have to do? Apparently, the boys will start filming a Jackass 3 next year, and their new Jackass-related site, Jackassworld.com, will be launching soon.

Whoa, here's a surprise. The Hollywood Reporter has announced that the highly successful Jackass franchise is sending its next film, Jackass 2.5, directly to the internet. It will skip the theaters entirely (though it was originally rumored to be going straight to DVD). The film will be online, free of charge courtesy of Blockbuster Video, for two weeks starting December 19th of this year. You can view the film at blockbuster.jackassworld.com. Then the movie moves to DVD and iTunes, as "part of a light-speed reinvention of the customary distribution-window chain. The domestic release strategy also will be replicated internationally in early 2008, but with different distribution partners." Jackassworld.com will now be the permanent online spot for all things Jackass, with new content due to start February 9th, 2008.

I've got to say, I find this news incredibly disappointing. Now, why would I say that a free movie is a disappointment? Because I effing love the Jackass films! And the reason I love them so much is because they are an absolute blast to watch in the theater! You get a big, rowdy, preferably tipsy crowd together, you go on a Friday night, and you laugh your asses off. It's like Borat (which I would argue Jackass paved the way for). It's just not the same on the small screen, and it's best as a shared experience. Jackass 2.5 is only 64 minutes, which I guess could be part of the reason it's not hitting theaters. But...couldn't they just add fifteen more minutes of Jackassery on tape? I don't know, I'll watch the thing of course, but it's going to be mighty depressing sitting in front of my computer watching something that used to be an exhilarating, hilarious, disgusting highlight of my theatergoing year. Then again, there's always Jackass 3 (which will begin shooting early next year) to look forward to. What do you think?

Get ready for more cringing: another Jackass movie is on its way. This was a given after Jackass Number Two made so much money, and there were reports last year that Jackass 3 was officially greenlit by Paramount. But now we've gotten news that it is definitely happening, with sequences to begin shooting at the beginning of the next year. According to /Film, who heard it on Howard Stern, Steve-O has been told to rest up because they begin production in January. Poor Bam, who expressed at the end of Number Two his hope that there'd be no Jackass 3. I guess he could drop out of this round, as could any other regular who can't take another feature's worth of mayhem and injury. Just as long as Chris Pontius and Wee-Man don't quit.

I'll admit that I'm looking forward to it. It's funny, though, because when the first Jackass: The Movie came out, I was working in a movie theater and I refused to watch it, even for free. I didn't even like cleaning up the auditorium during the final credits. It just wasn't my cup of tea. But then some friends dragged me to the sequel -- which I reluctantly paid for (or maybe a buddy bought mine) -- and actually found ways to appreciate it. Plus, I laughed my ass off, too. By the time they dragged Mark Zupan out for some wheelchair shenanigans, I was sold. And I think that most moviegoers have reason to like Jackass too. Aside from not having a plot, it has all that audiences crave these days: gross-out comedy; action-packed scenarios; a little bit of the torture horror; some sports sequences; and, of course, male nudity. Plus, there's occasional homages to people like Buster Keaton and Busby Berkeley for the cineastes. For those who can't get enough of the hijinx, and don't want to wait until whenever Jackass 3 hits theaters (I'd guess a year from now), there's also the straight-to-dvd outtakes compilation Jackass 2.5, which hits stores this Christmas.

I've never been a fan of Jackass, although I will admit to being inebriated several months back and finding the original movie to be somewhat funny. I think Johnny Knoxville and his clan of morons know who their audience is, and they subsequently provide their fans with tons and tons of memorable material. That said, following the success of Jackass: Number Two (and contrary to what they might have said immediately following its release) it seems the boys aren't done with all the stunts and disgusting behavior. In fact, Knoxville even said there was so much footage leftover, as well as stuff they never got to shoot, that at one point they'd have to release another film. So, folks, I bring you ... Jackass 2.5.

Yup, the boys are back again, and some brief footage from their latest flick was recently leaked to SlashFilm. In it, the tiny fellow (sorry, I haven't had a chance to memorize all their names) points to a television monitor and claims they're right smack in the middle of shooting the "opening to 2.5." Peter from SlashFilm then updated his post to include this little tidbit: "Bam Margera apparently made an appearance on the Howard Stern Show earlier today, and let it slip that the Don Vito teeth pull which was shown in the television ads and movie trailer will be one of the cut segments featured on the all new release." Awesome! I love me a good teeth-pulling session. Additionally, SlashFilm says Jackass 2.5 will go straight to DVD and arrive on shelves this Christmas.

I bet the Jackass crew has done a dangerous stunt using a fireman's hose. I've never been able to bring myself to watch either the TV show or the film -- I'm not particularly interested in watching a guy wax off all of his body hair while getting kicked in the scrotum -- but I'm sure a professional fire hose has come into play at some point in their careers. Now, four of the risk takers will appear in a scripted film produced by Madonna's Maverick Films and HBO -- with a fire hose as the inspiration.

Hosed will be a comedy about a volunteer firefighter who has big aspirations but little physical talent. Finally, this Good Samaritan is "assigned to a firehouse where he has to deal with a band of misfit firefighters from the wrong side of the tracks," as described by Hollywood Reporter. Chris Pontius, Preston Lacy, Steve O, and Jason Acuña will be the 'misfits.' We know these guys can be naked, struck by a taser gun and maced, all at the same time, but do they have the acting chops to even pull off an Adam "Tex" Davis (Just Friends) film? We'll have to wait until it's released to find out.

As far as the story goes...an inept volunteer firefighter and four unruly veterans? It sounds like blind leading the blind. Let's hope that whomever they cast as the inevitable mishap firefighter is enough to carry the film on his clumsy (yet hopefully broad and attractive) shoulders.

MTV stars Dirty Sanchez had the UK premier of Dirty Sanchez: The Movie on Thursday. Considered the "Welsh Jackass" and then some, (English censors had requested the removal of a sequence featuring a man sucking excrement from the anus of a live rabbit) the film follows our injury prone friends through a pact with the Devil as embodied by Howard Marks, aka Mr. Nice (a former philosophy professor and international cannabis smuggler with connections to MI6 and the Mafia) to re-enact the seven deadly sins; sloth in Wales, anger in Moscow, envy in Ko Phi Phi, lust in Bangkok; pride in Tokyo; gluttony in San Miguel, Mexico; and greed in the Dominican Republic.

Reactions to the film were a little, how shall we say -- negative? "The Movie is ultimately more repulsive than funny" and "the big screen spin-off of the popular MTV series of the same name is full of stomach churning stunts and vomit-inducing idiocy and is about as depraved as any film could possibly hope to be" So, there's nothing I could really say to top that , is there?

Dirty Sanchez: The Movie has yet to announce a North American release date. I wonder why?

I'm sure many cineastes had the same reaction to this week's box office list: cinema is now officially dead. The day Jackass: Number Two -- isn't it clever how the title is a reference to fecal matter? -- becomes the most popular film in America is the day each of us ought to give up and become plumbers. I'm talking all film critics, as well as Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, David Cronenberg, Steven Spielberg, Hou Hsiao-hsien, Wong Kar-wai, Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep, Charlie Kaufman, etc. Throw in the towel, guys. It's over. It doesn't matter anymore. I'll meet you at the bar, and I'm buying the first round.

It gets worse: At the same time, the esteemed film critic/screenwriter/film director Paul Schrader (Taxi Driver, etc.) has published a brand-new film canon in the most recent issue of Film Comment, and the news is not good. Schrader started out writing a book, but realized that film will no longer have a place in the 21st century and gave up after 20 or so pages. He does list his 60 great films for inclusion in the canon but (with the exception of Wong's In the Mood for Love) they're all products of the 20th century.

Yes, film art is gone. All you have to do is perform stupid stunts, point a video camera in that general direction, and you've got a classic.

On this edition of Movie Pics, we have two beautiful entrees and those half-eaten, fast-food leftovers your friend stuck in the fridge last week. Check it out:

• Correct me if I'm wrong, but this may be the first still from No Country for Old Men (pictured above). Directed by the Coen Brothers and based off Cormac McCarthy's novel, pic revolves around a hunter (Josh Brolin) who stumbles upon dead bodies, some heroin and more than $2 million in cash. To some of you, that may sound like one helluva night out on the town. However, our hunter is not so lucky, as he soon finds himself caught up in a world of violence and mayhem.
• In the same New York Times article that features No Country for Old Men, there was also a new photo from Paul Thomas Anderson's upcoming oil flick, There Will Be Blood. As the article states, both films were filmed in Marfa (not Martha), a tiny Texas town with a population of 2,400. Anderson's film, however, is based off Upton Sinclair's novel, Oil!, and centers around a turn-of-the-century prospector (Daniel Day Lewis), his family and the early days of the oil business.
• And, finally, a few pictures and film clips have surfaced from Jackass: Number Two, a (sequel?) to the 2002 masterpiece in which a bunch of morons run around and take turns torturing themselves, their bodies and audiences everywhere. Yeah, that about sums things up as far as Jackass goes. Enjoy!

Hooray for Friday:

• According to the great Johnny Knoxville, another Jackass movie is currently being filmed. Yippee, more screen time devoted to morons hurting themselves! Can you handle the excitement? Yes? Well then, how about the irony that Knoxville decided against The Dukes of Hazzard 2 because, as his costar said, "the reviews [were] just so bad", but is going ahead full force with this sequel? The mind boggles.
  

• Bad sign #295 for Dallas: director Robert Luketic has left the project, reportedly because he's unhappy with some of the casting choices. He didn't mention any names but I think it's clear that like many of you, readers, he too hates JLo. Though Fox is acting like they'll get right back on the horse (Betty Thomas is rumored be in line to take over), the fact is that the film has been quietly pulled from their fall release schedule - get ready to wait.
  

• Robert Englund (that's Freddie Krueger to you) has signed on to direct only his second feature, and his first in nearly 20 years, a horror comedy called Killer Pad. The movie is about three friends who move into a house in the Hollywood Hills, refusing to believe that it really has "a dark history." While it would be sort of refreshing to see a movie in which everyone just does laundry and hangs out in a decidedly non-haunted house, I'm guessing that's not going to be the case here: all sorts of blood and nastiness is undoubtedly in store for the lads.