When the worlds of Washington, DC political intrigue, infidelity, fitness centers and internet dating intersect and collide in a darkly hilarious fashion, you must be watching a film by the Coen brothers. Burn After Reading, Joel and Ethan Coen's follow-up to last year's critically lauded award winner, No Country for Old Men, was actually written by the duo as they were adapting No Country, but the two films couldn't be more different.

The colliding worlds in Burn After Reading involve a CIA analyst named Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), who's summoned to a top-secret meeting only to find out that the secret is he's being demoted due to his drinking problem. Cox blows a gasket and quits rather than taking the demotion, planning to spend his new-found spare time working on his memoirs and refining his drinking. Cox is married to Katie (Tilda Swinton), a icy pediatrician with the worst bedside manner imaginable, and she's less than sympathetic to her husband's life crisis.

Welcome back to another edition of Insert Caption -- the game you won't want to burn after reading ... because, well, how could you win any prizes then? Last week we asked you to give us your best college-esque caption for a photo from the new comedy College. In return for your brilliance, we were shelling out a one-of-a-kind beer pong table. Sweeet! Only one winner this week, so congrats to John R. for his inspiring take on a classic tale ...



1. "Unfortunately, try as he might, Peter just couldn't find his way back into Narnia" -- John R.

See full image and all captions






This week, we're shacking up with our old Oscar-winning pals Joel and Ethan Coen as they get ready to unveil their latest darkly comedic crime caper, Burn After Reading, starring folks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand. Prizes? Oh yeah, check it: One Grand Prize winner will receive one Burn After Reading USB 2.0, one T-shirt, one Water Bottle and two Wrist Bands. Wait, there's more! Four first prize winners will each receive one T-shirt, one Water Bottle, and two Wrist Bands. Sound off below!



Read the official rules for this contest

The Changeling press conference the other day was, not surprisingly, a packed affair, with throngs of journalists crowding in to get a look at Clint Eastwood, Angelina Jolie, and the Jolie baby bump. Honestly, I've never seen so many people so fascinated with the silhouette of a pregnant woman -- the Jolie frenzy here has been interesting to watch. She looked, also not surprisingly, glowingly fantastic. Also on hand to field questions were producer Brian Grazer and his famously spiky hair, and screenwriter J. Michael Straczynski.

What happened to Whit Stillman? I'm not the only one who keeps asking. Cinematical has been posing this question, and trying to answer it, for years. After his deliciously verbose conversational trio, the man pretty much fell off the face of the earth. Instead of delighting in yuppie angst, I've had to pull out my Yuppie Game, get over-dressed and fire up my DVD player to get my fill. However, it seemed like we were on to something in May of last year, when Martha Fischer whetted our appetites with news of Little Green Men, the flick meant to be the return of Stillman. (Without the 80's yuppies.) Then, there was nothing.

Well, what would you say if I told you that Stillman says that John Malcovich and Peter Sarsgaard are attached to the film? After hearing that my beloved Whit was out and about to see a screening of Kind Hearts and Coronets, I decided to see what the deal was with his upcoming alien movie. It seems that Forrest Hartman from the Reno Gazette-Journal had a brief chat with Stillman, who gave lots of info about himself and the all-too-juicy tidbits about the alien movie.

While I'm disappointed that Chris Eigeman won't be bourgeois bitching with the likes of aliens in outer space, at least he's got some meaty male replacements -- and hopefully official word will come on them both soon. And, if you're hoping for more EigeStillman, the director supposedly promises that he has plans for more projects with Chris. That is, if he ever gets them off the ground!

One of the mainstays of science fiction is the premise that the world is going to hell, not literally Hell mind you, but you get my meaning. The threat of apocalypse and the collapse of society are always a good way to get audiences on the edge of their seats. When it is done right, the filmmaker creates visions of the future that are fascinating and terrifying, and hopefully like nothing we have ever seen before. Call it a gut feeling but I'm guessing that if the poster art for the upcoming Mutant Chronicles, is any indication, we're about to get an apocalypse with more than a healthy dose of warfare.

Artist David Allcock posted the first look at his teaser poster for the sci-fi action film starring Thomas Jane and John Malkovich. The official site for the film is already online and includes glimpses of concept art, production videos, and promises of a director's blog to come. The film is set in a distant future where corporations have taken control and instigated all out war. Jane plays the leader of the last front of humanity's resistance to an alien invading force. It's early days, so I'm going to have reserve judgment on this one until I get a look at a trailer. I've seen enough bad sci-fi movies in my time to know to prepare myself for at least the possibility of another sci-fi schlock-fest.

[via JoBlo.net]

It's funny; I'm not not a big fan of blood and gore in the movies, and occasionally I get a little squeamish at the Hostel variety of horror, but show me a guy cleft in two with a broadsword and I don't even bat an eye. Sometimes, I even get a sick little giggle out of it. I've always enjoyed historical epics; why else would I have I sat through all of the classic "sword and sandal" flicks and their various incarnations of the last few years?

Variety announced that John Malkovich has joined an international cast that includes Michael Madsen, Peter O'Toole, and Virginie Ledoyen for Raoul Ruiz's Love and Virtue. The film centers on the crusading battles and romantic intrigue during Charlemagne's empire. The film was written by Mia Sperber and Stefano Prates, who used the epic poems The Song of Roland and Orlando Innamorato as inspiration for the story. The poems are full of all those things that are usually in medieval poems, like treacherous nobles, love-smitten knights, and Saracen armies -- which in the end guarantees at least a few large-scale battle scenes. No word yet on who Malkovich will play, but I'm sure it will involve one of his bizarre accents. Love and Virtue will begin production this March on location in Belgium and Luxembourg.

Odds and ends from Wednesday:

• Okay, so you're probably pretty sick of all the mutant talk by now, what with the tremendous amount of fuss surrounding X-Men: The Last Stand. Well, snap the hell out of it because The Mutant Chronicles is gearing up for production and just added Devon Aoki to a cast that already consists of John Malkovich, Thomas Jane, Stephen Rea and Ron Perlman. Aoki, who you may remember playing the devilish Miho in Sin City, will take on a similar role as a sexy, fearless fighter who puts kicking ass before her two small children. Look for the group MAM (Moms Against Miho) to have a problem with this whole thing.
• In an effort to to tap into the insecure, sexually inexperienced male inside all of us, Dreamworks wasted no time in snatching up the spec script, She's Out of My League, from the writing-directing team of Sean Anders and John Morris. Described as The 40-Year-Old Virgin meets There's Something About Mary, story will surround some ordinary dude who is attracted to, what he believes, is the perfect woman. That is, until his friends and family grow suspicious and attempt to sabotage any chance he has with the girl.
• Director M. Night Shyamalan recently spoke with Harry over on AICN and had some pretty interesting things to say about his upcoming film, Lady in the Water. While he didn't spoil the plot or give away the twist ending (Oh, c'mon -- you know there's going to be a twist ending), he did admit to feeling as if the film had a sort of Coen Brothers feel to it, in that it's very independent. That's also one of the main reasons why Lady went through Warners instead of Disney, so that Shyamalan could be, in his words, "off the map a little bit." Hey, I dig -- so long as that map doesn't lead to the bottom of a toilet.