Maybe the most irritating thing about Roland Emmerich's generally unwatchable 10,000 BC was leading man Steven Strait's bizarre accent. Totally indeterminate -- he trilled his r's and drawled occasionally -- it was clearly meant to indicate in some uncertain way that what we're watching takes place a Very Long Time Ago. Hello? The movie is called 10,000 BC and the characters are already speaking English. Making them speak weird English isn't exactly adding verisimilitude. I don't know who Emmerich thought he was fooling.

I always find this sort of thing annoying, and sometimes vaguely insulting. I'm perfectly fine with characters who speak English even though they're not supposed to -- it's easier that way, and I can suspend disbelief. But if you're going to go that route, why add constant, pointless reminders of the very fact you're trying to dodge? Part of the reason I admire The Hunt for Red October is that John McTiernan said "screw it" and let Sean Connery keep his Scottish brogue as a Soviet submarine captain.*

You know, for a movie that probably isn't the best idea to begin with, a lot of people certainly seem to be lining up to work on it. Just days after rumors swirled that Rob Zombie would be taking over the Conan remake for Millennium/Nu Image, now Doomsday director Neil Marshall has also been added to the list of possible directors for the fantasy update.

Rumors of Marshall's involvement first surfaced over at IGN, where it had also been confirmed by one of their sources that Zombie was in talks with the producers. That same source then threw Marshall's name on the list. Marshall joins John McTiernan, Zombie, and Hitman director Xavier Gens as possible candidates to direct. It has since been confirmed that Zombie will not be taking the reins, and instead is off working on the biker flick Tyrannosaurus Rex. According to IGN, Gens has also been in talks with the producers, but so was Zombie and look how that turned out.

The production has struggled since the beginning; first there were battles over the rights to the franchise, and after a few false starts, Millennium/Nu Image was left standing and they are now the proud new owners of the film. Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer have been allowed to work on the script during the strike thanks to an agreement between Millennium and the WGA. IGN also reports that Millennium/Nu Image will not be choosing their director until the script has been completed. By then who knows how many more names will have been added to the list. Conan is tentatively scheduled for release in 2009.

[via Comics2Film]

He's battled creepy aliens. He's fought The Mist. Now that his second foray into the world of Stephen King is over, Thomas Jane is getting some less freaky action. According to Variety, he's signed on to star in John McTiernan's new flick for Arclight Films called Run. This won't be a Die Hard sort of film contained in small spaces. At least, not completely in small spaces. Instead, it sounds like Die Hard meets The Fast and the Furious.

Jane seems to be replacing Karl Urban, who originally signed on to the project back in 2007, and is not mentioned at all in this latest bit of news. To be shot on location in Argentina, the action flick will focus on "an American Interpol agent happening upon a conspiracy during a thrills-and-spills high-speed pursuit across the country." Now, you might remember that this cross-country car chase (at speeds over 120mph) is the one that has a 51-minute chase scene, so it sounds like the flick will get maybe a bit of an intro and something to wrap it up, with the chase plunked down in the middle. This is the guy who brought us John McClane, so I can't be totally pessimistic, but McTiernan better be on his game if he wants this to work.

Exorbitantly long chase scenes need good cars, and the cast are going to get some sweet rides. According to Arclight head Gary Hamilton: "This is an unrelenting action-thriller in true McTiernan style, creating acrobatic mayhem in exotic locales. BMW has come onboard to provide the cars, and Roush Performance is designing a Super Mustang for the film, setting up what will be a spectacular vehicle stunt-action chase movie." So, the question becomes who will win: the BMW guys or the Mustang guys?

Well, either John McTiernan took a pass on the offer or AICN had their collective legs pulled when news came that Die Hard helmer McTiernan was in talks to direct the Conan the Barbarian update for Millennium Films. Dark Horizons has now reported that French director Xavier Gens told film site Le Film Francais.com that he was in line to direct the fantasy update. After the drawn-out battle for the rights to re-make the 1982 film, it seems like the production is still having a little trouble finding a director or a star. Although AICN did name Gerard Butler as one of the contenders for the role (I guess he has plenty of experience in a loincloth already). Gens is probably best known as the director for the video game flick Hitman -- which might not be the best calling card if you take the cringe-worthy score of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes as any indication of the man's abilities.

Gens entrance into the Hollywood blockbuster scene probably didn't quite work out as he had hoped. First, there were rumors that there were arguments with the studio over Hitman's rating, and then finally there was talk that Gens had been pulled from the project altogether. There was some PR back-pedaling surrounding the problems with Hitman, but even if the rumors weren't completely true, it could not have helped his reputation. But since Gen's involvement in Conan is still a rumor at this point, fans probably shouldn't get too worried just yet. Let's just wait until we hear something a little more official. Conan the Barbarian is scheduled for release in 2009.

So the last that most of us had heard from action-director John McTiernan was that there was the very real possibility that he was about to be incarcerated for four months -- however pesky little details like prison time have never stopped the rumor mill before; so why start now? Ain't It Cool News reports a rumor that originated on the French film site Mad Movies, that Nu Image has McTiernan at the top of their wish-list of directors for their new spin on the Conan franchise. According to the article (and what I could make out with my high school French), Nu Image wants to entrust their fledgling trilogy to the man behind some of the best (and worst) action films of the last 20 years. With a projected budget of $80 million, it makes sense that Nu Image would want an action vet like McTiernan behind the camera.

Back in June, Christopher reported that New Line had snagged the rights to the franchise from Warner Bros. But as we all know, that was not to last, and by August Millennium Films had secured the rights to revive the franchise. There are still plenty of unanswered questions when it comes to the Conan remake, though it has already been confirmed that the film is going to go with an entirely new approach. So far, the buzz has Gerard Butler (300) in the lead to take over the part, but like so much surrounding the film it's only a rumor at this point. So in the midst of all this speculation, stay tuned to Cinematical for any official updates that come our way.

Well, the Pellicano case gets deeper ... and deeper ... and now, a pretty well-known director may be going to the pokey because of it. Infamous 'Private Eye to the Stars' Anthony Pellicano has already served 2.5 years for possession of illegal weapons; Yahoo reports that he's also facing an 111-count indictment for wiretapping, bribing police and other illegal activities in the pursuit of his craft. On Judge Dale S. Fischer heard arguments regarding an earlier guilty plea entered by director John McTiernan -- of Die Hard and The Hunt for Red October fame (and Rollerball infamy) -- when faced with the serious charge of lying to an FBI agent as part of the bureau's ongoing investigation into Pellicano. McTiernan earlier claimed he only retained Pellicano during his divorce; it turns out that McTiernan also hired Pellicano to wiretap an associate during the making of Rollerball.

McTiernan was hoping to withdraw his guilty plea, based in part on his state at the time he answered FBI inquiries -- claiming that he had just taken a long plane flight, was taking antibiotics for a sinus infection and had just ceased taking anti-depressant medication. Well, Judge Fischer isn't having any of it -- and hit McTiernan with not only an $100,000 fine but also a four-month jail sentence. McTiernan has until Jan. 15th to turn himself into authorities -- it's not as if he did a perp-walk while cuffed straight to the paddy wagon -- and his counsel says that McTiernan will appeal. The question to me is if McTiernan will actually see the inside of a cell; we all know that famous people don't, technically, do time -- but, technically, is a director famous? Stay here at Cinematical for more. ...

Lionsgate must be very happy with its upcoming comedy Good Luck Chuck. The movie is the directorial debut of Mark Helfrich (unless you count his second-unit work on Critters), who is better known as Brett Ratner's editor of choice. According to Variety, the studio has already signed Helfrich for a follow-up, this time trusting him with an action-thriller titled Five Killers. The movie is yet another hitman story, and it sounds like a lot of other movies we've seen before. You know the plot: a perfect hitman or assassin becomes the target of other hitmen. Let's see, there's The Bourne Identity, Assassins, Grosse Point Blank, Road to Perdition, this weekend's new release Shoot 'em Up and the upcoming Hitman. And there's certainly more indie neo-noirs that I didn't bother to see and so can't cite as examples (feel free to list them in the comments section -- I know I'm forgetting some classics). This one was written by Bob DeRosa, who co-scripted Jieho Lee's The Air I Breathe, which screened earlier this year at the Tribeca Film Festival. DeRosa is currently co-writing Lee's next movie, an adaptation of the video game Kane & Lynch: Dead Men.

I have a feeling that Five Killers will be heavily influenced by Ratner, because Helfrich probably has the guy's style imprinted in his brain after editing all three Rush Hour movies, as well as The X-Men: Last Stand, After the Sunset, Red Dragon and others. Actually, Helfrich has worked on a lot of bad action movies, such as I Come in Peace, Striking Distance, Stone Cold and Action Jackson. It would be great if he learned something from John McTiernan back while editing Predator or even from Tony Scott while working on The Last Boy Scout, but it's doubtful. Five Killers will be produced by Christopher Pratt (The Air I Breathe) and Chad Martin. We will get our first chance to see Helfrich's worth when Good Luck Chuck is released September 21. As for The Air I Breathe, with which we can judge DeRosa, the film currently has no release date in the U.S. (it opens in the UK on December 14.

I remember very little about the Pierce Brosnan / Rene Russo version of The Thomas Crown Affair. I know that A) I liked it, B) that Rene Russo was frequently topless in it (see A), and C) there was a really cool scene with a bunch of dudes in hats. The film grossed a respectable $70 million back in 1999, and was a huge hit on video. And now a sequel is underway. You'll remember Thomas Crown was a remake of the Steve McQueen / Faye Dunaway original, which did not spawn a sequel. So are they coming up with an original story for TCA Part 2? Of course not, silly! Brosnan told Filmstalker that the sequel will be based on the Peter Ustinov classic Topkapi, and will be called The Topkapi Affair.

Moviehole is reporting that the screenplay is based on the novel Light of Day (this one, by Eric Ambler), so I suppose the script pulls from both sources. Casting has already begun on the sequel, and Brosnan says "This version of Topkapi will have a different part, different woman, and different affair. The guy is a little bit more seasoned and we're using wonderful locations this time." Wait, who is this different woman Brosnan is talking about? How do you one-up the gorgeous Rene Russo? Believe it or not, they did -- Angelina Jolie has reached a deal to play the love interest. The plot for this new adventure centers on getting the Kasikci Diamond out of Topkapki Palace, which is in Istanbul. The IMDb lists the screenwriter as Harley Peyton, whose last produced script was 2001's spotty Bandits. No word on a director yet, but let's hope they bring John McTiernan back. Mr. Die Hard stooped to making Rollerball, for crying out loud. Expect The Topkapi Affair in 2008.

It's been five years for John McTiernan, but it looks like the Die Hard director has finally decided to jump back in the ring for a few more rounds. We recently told you how the guy had signed on to helm the action-heavy Run (a film that, apparently, sports "100 pages of car chases"), and now the Hollywood Reporter tells us McTiernan won't stop there. Nope, he's just been tapped to helm the Las Vegas action thriller High Stakes for Persistant Pictures and Velvet Octopus. Hmm, should we expect 100 pages of card chases then (zing!)?

Written by Ronnie Christensen, story is set in Vegas and revolves around two friends who find themselves up sh*ts creek without a paddle when they realize that they've become the living collateral of a high-stakes bet. I'm not sure whether they're the ones who made the bet without collateral (making it so their lives are in danger once it's revealed they can't pay up), or if someone is actually using them as collateral. That would be odd. "What are you using for collateral?" "Oh, I have this guy Steve and his friend Chuck. Yeah, if I lose and can't pay, just take them." With Matt Rhodes producing, pic is scheduled to head into production this fall. McTiernan's last two big-screen efforts (Basic, Rollerball) barely made a dent in my memory, but I'm a big fan of some of his other flicks (especially the two Die Hard films, Predator and, yes, even Last Action Hero). He'll have a couple shots to prove he's still got it, or else I have a feeling his next leave of absence might be a tad longer than five years.

At his best he gives us Predator, Die Hard and The Hunt for Red October. At his worst ... Medicine Man, Last Action Hero and Rollerball. Such is the up and down career of action specialist John McTiernan. (Plus he seems to be having some non-Hollywood problems as well.) According to Variety, the director's next film is called Run, which will star Karl Urban as "an Interpol agent who, while pursuing a murder suspect, uncovers a fraud conspiracy." (Action fans know Mr. Urban from The Two Towers, Doom, The Chronicles of Riddick and The Bourne Supremacy.)

Despite his recent track record (ugh, Pathfinder), Urban will anchor the $30 million production. We're told that the screenplay has "100 pages of car chases," but nobody mentions who actually wrote the thing. And wow! 100 pages of car chases! That's almost as exciting as that movie that promises a 51-minute chase scene! Hell, why not just hire Jeff Gordon to race across the highway for 93 minutes? Who needs plot, characterization or conflict when you have ... cars going real fast!? Plus ... did I miss something? Why would a movie called RUN have an hour-long CAR chase? Oh I'm so confused.

Unfortunately for Patrick Dempsey fans, McTiernan's new project is not a remake of this classic thriller.