john tucker must die Tagged Articles at Cinematical

I already love the sound of this movie because, essentially, it's the story of my life (circa three years ago). And, for some odd reason, Fox Atomic seems to think my life is worthy of the big-screen treatment, as they've gone out and picked up the novel The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen, a former Weekly World News writer. Here's how The Hollywood Reporter describes the story: "Average's" unnamed narrator is a man in his late 20s who hangs out with his friends and girlfriend, plays video games and holds an insignificant job. He reveals to readers his racy thoughts on his girlfriend, watching porn, his disgust with people in general and that he should either live life alone or bite the marriage bullet." It's freaky how similar my life was to the one of this so-called "unnamed narrator," although I was never much of a porn fan. And I don't know who this Chad Kultgen guy is, which means there's no way this book was based on me. Or was it, Chaaaad???

The fascinating part of this story is that interest in the book rose considerably after publisher Harper Perennial produced three one-minute videos promoting it on YouTube. Each one got increasingly more popular, and with more than one million views, book sales went up. For those of you interested in watching said videos (which do contain some harsh, sexually-explicit language -- just so you're warned), you can check them out here, here and here. I found them to be pretty damn funny (especially that third one), and they should serve as a message to those aspirings looking to get your self-published project a little buzz. Go to YouTube! And be creative! Betty Thomas (John Tucker Must Die) has hopped onboard to produce, as well as possibly direct, and there's currently no word on who they're thinking about casting as The Average American Male. Heck, I'll do it!

I ended my subscription to Tiger Beat years ago, I haven't seen John Tucker Must Die and I don't watch Desperate Housewives, so every time I see the name Jesse Metcalfe, I can't place him. First, I confuse him with Jesse Bradford, another young actor. Then, I imagine he looks like a young, male version of Roseanne's Laurie Metcalf (they're not even related, as you can guess by the name spelling). But apparently the guy is quite a heartthrob -- not a teen heartthrob, though, as he's about to turn 29. That should certainly help the appeal of Insanitarium, which he's just been cast in, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The rest of the fairly obscure cast includes Peter Stormare (Fargo), Kiele Sanchez (that attempted new cast-member of Lost from last season), Kevin Sussman (Ugly Betty's "Walter") and Olivia Munn (co-host of G4's Attack of the Show).

The indie horror thriller has been written by Jeff Buhler (the upcoming Midnight Meat Train adaptation), who will also make his directorial debut. The plot involves a mental hospital (aka, umm, insanitarium) where a crazy doctor (Stormare, possibly channeling his character from Minority Report) experiments with his patients, giving them a drug that turns them into flesh-eating psychopaths. Metcalfe plays a guy who fakes crazy in order to join his sister (Sanchez) in the hospital, and save her. That leaves Sussman and Munn, both of whom hopefully get to eat a lot of flesh. The movie is being produced by Mason Novick (film fest sensation Juno), J.C. Spink (The Butterfly Effect), his partner, Chris Bender (Red Eye) and Andrew Golov and Larry Shapiro, who also produced an upcoming movie titled Zombie Strippers.

American theater owners might want to learn from the European markets, because Italy (as I reported in November) and now Germany have won terrific battles in the release-window war. This past weekend German exhibitors put a ban on the Fox blockbusters Night at the Museum and Eragon in order to protest the studio's plan to put the Eragon DVD in stores three months after its theatrical release date. Fox has given in, stating that it will put a minimum of six months between its movies' cinema and video dates.

Both of the movies put on hiatus had been playing in Germany for awhile, and probably earned a majority of their grosses, but Fox still suffered as Night at the Museum fell from the #2 spot to #8 with a whopping 75% decrease in ticket sales. Also, surprisingly, Fox's just-released John Tucker Must Die was hurt; it fell from #4 to #13 with a 72% decrease -- though I can't imagine it would have done too well two weekends in a row. Another incentive for Fox, however, was its need to get Rocky Balboa into German cinemas next weekend. Exhibitors had threatened not to open the film if Fox didn't agree to demands.

Unfortunately for American cinemas, it probably isn't that easy to halt exhibition of any titles they choose to boycott. For some reason studios have a lot tighter hold on the theater business in the States. This news also shows how much Hollywood is more concerned with international box office than domestic. And I guess studios aren't worried about Germans importing American DVDs. If a movie like John Tucker Must Die can do so well over there, when it has been available on video here since November, then there's no worry if Eragon hits stores in the U.S. prior to six months from now.

Recent Theatricals

Accepted -- Quick and painless late-teen college about a bunch of slackers who fabricate an entire university before things get nutty. Not awful, but not all that funny either (Extras: director/cast commentary, featurettes, music videos, deleted scenes, gag reel, etc.)

Brothers of the Head -- The creators of Lost in La Mancha go the mockumentary route with this story of conjoined-twin rock stars. Yeah, you heard me.

John Tucker Must Die -- Teen movies must stop: A bunch of girls get revenge on the campus womanizer. How nice. (Director's commentary, featurettes)

King Kong: Extended Edition -- Because Peter Jackson's remake wasn't already long enough, they added another 13 minutes back in. (Filmmaker commentary, 3-hour documentary, 38 MORE minutes of deleted scenes.) OK, I want this.

The Da Vinci Code -- Admit it; you were bored by it. (Ten featurettes.)

Catalog Picks

Forbidden Planet: Special Edition -- The classic sci-fi grand-daddy (which was based on The Tempest, dontchaknow) gets re-issued in a normal SE and a swanky LE that comes with a Robby the Robot toy! (Documentaries, deleted scenes, lost footage, random fun.)

The Green Mile: Special Edition -- Frank Darabont's second Stephen King adaptation (after The Shawshank Redemption) pales in comparison to the first, but the chemistry between Tom Hanks and Mike Duncan is still pretty effective. (Director commentary, deleted scenes, feature-length documentary, featurettes.)

Maniac Cop -- It's about a cop -- who's a maniac. It comes from Bill Lustig (Maniac) and Larry Cohen (The Stuff), plus it stars Tom Atkins, Richard Roundtree and Bruce Campbell. Not saying it's a good flick, but if you know these names you'll have fun with Maniac Cop. (Filmmaker commentary, featurette, interviews.)

Direct-to-Video

Raptor Island -- I've never seen it, but it stars Lorenzo Lamas & Stephen Bauer, was written by the guy who did Megalodon, and is about an island full of velociratpors. See it quick, before Raptor Island 2: Raptor Planet hits the Sci-Fi Channel!

Strangers With Candy -- Apparently it's got some kind of cult fanbase. I'll have to give SWC a whirl sometime, but everyone tells me to start with the series first. (Filmmaker commentary, 18 deleted scenes.)

I was trying to think of some clever line about how undercover cops busted the pirates, but it wouldn't come so I'll just give it to you straight: Miami Vice knocked Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest off the top of the box office heap this weekend. In its opening three days, Michael Mann's return to his classic 80s TV show made about $22 million on just over 3000 screens, as compare to POTC3's $20.5 million (from about 3500 screens). The folks at Disney probably aren't shedding too many tears, however, because their movie's domestic haul has now reached a company record $358.4 million in only four weeks of release.

In addition to Miami Vice, John Tucker Must Die also had a successful open this weekend, earning a very solid $14.1 million in its debut. The Ant Bully, on the other hand, was a disappointment for Warner Bros., taking in only $8.1 million from 500 fewer screens than John Tucker. Based on the charts, it looks like all the kids were seeing Monster House instead; the film hung strong with $11.5 million, good enough for a solid fourth place in its second weekend.

And, though it didn't make enough overall to get into the top 20 this weekend, Little Miss Sunshine did great business in just a few theaters, taking in a staggering $50,980/screening.

Full numbers are after the jump.

John Tucker is the kind of boy whose powers of attraction are a mystery to everyone outside his immediate presence. Not smart, blithely fake, and not particularly interesting, he coasts by with a combination of bland good looks and the mysterious draw of Popularity, a phenomenon that feeds on itself -- he's popular, and therefore people like him. Especially girls. As played by Jesse Metcalfe in Betty Thomas' new film, John Tucker Must Die, the movie's title character is nothing more than a pretty picture, almost totally lacking in personality. Much like Metcalfe himself on-screen, Tucker replaces emotions with bright smiles, and soothes all worries with a confident word.

To give the womanizing Tucker his comeuppance, Thomas and screenwriter Jeff Lowell provide a trio of exes who, during an unexpected PE volleyball game (their regular teacher had a heart attack induced by John Tucker's charms), discover that they're all dating him at the same time. Though originally mollified by his ernest insistence that each of them is, in fact, his only secret girlfriend, the three are jarred out of their Tucker-nosis by Kate (Brittany Snow), a newcomer whose mother (Jenny McCarthy) has dated a fleet of her own John Tuckers. Taking Kate on as a sort of teacher-cum-apprentice, the girls resolve to teach the lying, cheating Tucker a lesson. If they can't make him undatable (they can't), they'll break his heart instead.

Are you having a bad day? Does it feel like, no matter what you say or do, nothing will change the fact that today just sucks? Or maybe that was yesterday. Come to think of it, maybe your bad day won't happen until next week or next year. But it's coming. I guarantee it.

So, what's the problem? Addicted to drugs? Are you questioning whether or not your child is the devil? Did someone put you in charge of defusing a neutron bomb that's in the hands of a bad-ass gang? Woman problems? Are your three ex-girlfriends currently plotting your death? Okay, maybe you're just depressed that, because of global warming, the world may be coming to an end shortly. Look at the bright side, at least there won't be any more bad days.

Well, if the day is not going so good and you're desperately looking for some sort of escape, check out the following trailers. Perhaps you can find a way to relate to these characters since, well, they're not having the best days, either. But who is? Welcome to this week's Trailer Park...