Concert films are constantly at war with themselves. If the musical act is transcendent, then a filmed document will never come close to reproducing the experience of seeing and hearing the act live, in the same way that an ordinary photograph can only serve, at best, as a reminder of a moment. Even a great, exact reproduction is still just a copy, not the original. If the act is merely average or worse, then why bother to record it?

The Rolling Stones have been captured performing in concert on film or tape numerous times, so the challenge that lay before Martin Scorsese was to do something different. After all, this is the man who redefined concert films with The Last Waltz in 1978, in which he eschewed the prevailing wisdom that a concert had to include generous allotments of time devoted to the concert goer's point of view. Instead, Scorsese kept the action tightly focused on the stage, allowing the audience to enjoy the interplay between the members of The Band and various guests who shared in the group's final performance. He balanced that with lively interviews; in the process, he helped to establish Robbie Robertson as a viable solo personality in the eyes of the film industry.

I should amend the previous paragraph to read like this: "The challenge that lay before Martin Scorsese was to do something different or so I thought!" As it turns out, my expectations for Shine a Light were far too high.

You like Martin Scorsese, right? You're a fan of The Rolling Stones, correct? Well, get ready to have your "19th Nervous Breakdown." AOL is reporting that the release date for Scorsese's Stones documentary has been pushed back. Waaay back. Seven months, to be exact. Just a couple weeks ago, Monika told you the film would be released in both conventional and IMAX theaters on September 21st. But now we won't get it until "sometime next April." What's the reason? Why can't we get no "Satisfaction?" A spokeswoman says that more time was needed to set up the promotional campaign for the film, because the band is on tour in Europe until August 26th. Isn't that a "Bitch?" I've got serious "Mixed Emotions" about this. I mean, "I Know It's Only Rock n' Roll...But I Like It!" I'll stop.

The documentary is called Shine a Light (also the title of one of my favorite Stones songs), and its concert footage was shot over two nights last fall at the beautiful Beacon Theater in New York. Guest performers for the shows included Buddy Guy, the almost impossibly cool Jack White, and Miss Dirrrrrty herself -- Christina Aguilera. The film will intersperse footage from the shows with career-spanning documentary material. Hopefully it will be as fascinating as what Scorsese did with his Dylan doc, the excellent No Direction Home. Scorsese also directed one of the greatest concert films of all time -- The Last Waltz, which documented the final show of The Band and included terrific performances from the likes of Bob Dylan, Van Morrison, and -- with a hunk of cocaine visibly dangling from his nose -- Neil Young. Scorsese has used Rolling Stones music in nearly all of his films. I'm surprised he didn't have the monks in Kundun dance to "Start Me Up." Hell, he's used "Gimme Shelter" three times -- in Goodfellas, Casino, and The Departed!

Have you heard the one about Keith Richards snorting his father's ashes? The whole story was a joke -- at least that is the current spin, anyway. Whatever the truth, though, the story has gotten Richards into a bit of trouble with Disney's publicity department. Although the Rolling Stones guitarist is one of the main attractions of this summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, his inability to keep his comments family-friendly are a concern for the studio. Now Disney's senior vice president for publicity, Dennis Rice, has decided not to let Richards aid in much of the promotion of the blockbuster sequel. However, considering Rice is about to leave Disney for a new job at United Artists, we can't be sure that his replacement will agree with this decision.

In the movie, Richards plays Teague Sparrow, father of Johnny Depp's popular character, Captain Jack Sparrow. He will likely be drinking a lot on screen, but because of the PG PG-13* rating there shouldn't be any self-parodic gags involving drug use. As for outside the film, Disney should expect nothing else from Richards than more good-humored remarks, appropriate for kids or not, and should have realized this upon hiring him for the movie -- just as they should have expected he'd be 'wobbly' on set. I think that for the adults who are interested in At World's End, his involvement in its publicity would be favorable. In fact, I think Richards could help attract older folks more than he would turn off offended parents (their children will scream if not permitted to see this, I'm sure).

In addition to stating the distance being made between Richards and the movie, Rice also mentioned that Disney still has not confirmed plans to go further with the Pirates franchise. He says At Worlds End completes the trilogy and that no decision has been made yet to continue the characters' adventures past this third movie. If you remember, we have only so far been given the news that Depp wants more, Keira Knightley doesn't, Orlando Bloom is not needed, director Gore Verbinski is noncommittal, screenwriter Terry Rossio is uncertain and producer Jerry Bruckheimer is down for more as long as Disney is willing.

* I forgot that the Pirates movies have too much adventure violence for a simple PG. Thanks for the reminder, Caitlin.

You probably aren't familiar with him just yet, but Ben Whishaw is an actor worth taking note of. He was nominated recently for the BAFTA Rising Star award (Eva Green won it), mostly for his starring role in Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, which was one of my favorite films of last year. He's also been racking up roles in which he plays famous people (one day he could even catch up to Val Kilmer and Gary Oldman). Last year he was Keith Richards in Stoned, this year he can be seen as one of many Bob Dylans in I'm Not There and now he's in negotiations to portray the poet John Keats in Jane Campion's Bright Star.

The period romance takes place in the early 19th century, focusing on Keats' romance with Fanny Brawne, who has already been cast with Australian actress Abbie Cornish (who is rumored to also be in talks for the next Bond film.) The couple's romance only lasted a couple years before Keats' health deteriorated due to his suffering from tuberculosis. He died a year after they separated, at the age of 25. As much as we could do without another tragic, tear-jerking romance film, with Campion behind the camera this could be one of the better ones. And in addition to further boosting the careers of both Whishaw and Cornish, it could, as many Campion films are good for, garner some acting nominations for the pair as well. Next up for Whishaw is a new adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited.

As one of the few film critics to actually enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, I can honestly say I'm looking forward to more from the franchise, even after the current trilogy ends. Well, actually, I'd probably lose interest if Johnny Depp did -- not that it seems he will ever let go of Jack Sparrow. As you've probably read here and there, a fourth installment is still up in the air, and even screenwriter Terry Rossio isn't sure if it will go ahead. "It's like the fourth Indiana Jones picture," he told Moviehole. "There are forces in play to make it happen, and forces in play to make it not happen. I think we will try to write a screenplay. I can't say if we'll be able to solve the challenge of making a good fourth film, or if our screenplay will be enough to get a film made."

Last summer, Jerry Bruckheimer stated that if Rossio and Ted Elliott continued to write 'em, the producer is interested in making 'em. And this was before Dead Man's Chest went gangbusters in theaters and on DVD (Disney shareholders will likely demand more sequels if the profits keep coming.) Obviously the series will eventually dwindle in quality, as does any franchise, but considering most reviews of Dead Man's Chest were negative, this shouldn't matter. Other tidbits that Rossio shared with Moviehole include the series' origins, the difficulty of back-to-back sequels and the subject of Keith Richards: "Well you don't hire Keith Richards to get a guy who shows up in the morning, on time wearing a suit and tie," he said. "You get a guy who shows up at night, on time, with a bottle of wine. There were good times on the set."

Ever since this past summer -- when a rumor leaked out that Keith Richards might have a role in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End -- folks have been itching to know more about the part, as well as what Richards would look like all decked out in Pirate garb. Well, a scooper sent in a pic to Coming Soon that features Johnny Depp (as Captain Jack Sparrow), Martin Klebba (as Marty) and -- whaddya know -- Keith Richards (as Captain Grant Sparrow).

So, if you didn't believe the announcement that Richards actually does have a part (and, trust me -- things went back and forth so often, I don't blame you for being a bit skeptical), then this pic should certainly serve as proof of his involvement. There were also a bunch of rumors that claimed Richards showed up to the set blasted each day, and had to literally be carried from his trailer to the set. Judging by this picture, the dude certainly looks somewhat tanked -- then again, that could be the way he looks sober. Scary. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is set to swing into theaters on May 25.

Note: Click on the above picture to view a larger version.

(Editor's Note, 9:29PM PST, 12/29/2006 -- Picture removed.)

(Editor's Note, 2:56 PM EST: This pic seems to have been pulled from Coming Soon; we'll keep you posted on future developments.)

Everyone is more or less aware that Johnny Depp modeled his famous on screen persona Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean after the aging rocker Keith Richards, right? Okay, good. Hang onto this fact, because it is relevant to today's story. After much finagling, Keith Richards was brought to the set of the third film in said pirate-y franchise, and lent his acting talents to a brief scene wherein he portrayed Sparrow's father. Fox411 tells an interesting story about this shoot, claiming it was "more or less confirmed" for them by actor Bill Nighy. The story goes something like this:

Richards, left alone in his trailer until it was time for his scene, chose to indulge in some form of excess, and showed up a bit "wobbly." Director Gore Verbinski had to hold Richards by the shins to keep him upright, and when he told Richards "you've got to keep straight," Richards replied "if you'd wanted straight, then you got the wrong man." Beyond said incident -- or possibly aided by said incident -- Depp and Richards reportedly had a great time together on set, and likely put together an extremely amusing scene or two. I suppose we'll find out for sure when it hits theaters.

Borat Comes Under Fire!

As Sacha Baron Cohen prepares to release his film, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, the poor schmucks caught up in Cohen's cross-country practical joke are pissed. And they want you to know there's nothing funny about being a fool. George Matthews Marshall -- who was one of the men suckered into believing Borat was a real person -- claims the whole thing was "disgraceful" and "disgusting." Marshall explains, "He intimated we might have favored slavery ... we were horrified." Now, if that's not the perfect tagline for this flick, I don't know what is.

Save the Rocky Statue!

After discovering the famous bronze Rocky statue (Um, remember Rocky III?) was placed in storage by city officials in Philadelphia, Sylvester Stallone has been fighting to find the thing a permanent home. Although there was a campaign to stick Bronze Rocky at the foot of the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps, museum bosses felt poor old Rocky just wasn't artsy enough. Now, no one knows where to put it. Hey, worse comes to worse, I have a ton of friends who would love to throw that puppy in their living room. Just an idea. You can get back to me. I'll be here.

Depp Records Entire Album of Sea Shanties!

Not for nothing, but when Johnny Depp is finally finished with all this Pirates of the Caribbean nonsense, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy disappears, only to be caught hijacking cargo from a ship in the Atlantic a few years from now. Yes, he's that obsessed with this role. According to reports, the actor has joined forces with folks like Bono, Bryan Ferry and folk singer Eliza Carthy to produce an album full of sea shanties with plans to use the songs in Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Keith Richards (who is set to play Depp's father in the third installment) was supposed to appear on the album as well until -- I love this part -- he was injured after falling out of a tree. I have no idea what in the world a 63-year-old man would be doing up in a tree, though it makes for one hilarious story.

Odds and ends from Friday:

• There's always been something about Cary Elwes that doesn't sit right with me. I'm not exactly sure what, but the dude definitely strikes me as somewhat creepy in a stalker-ish kind of way. Lucky for him, this makes Elwes perfect for the part of the child-molesting step-father in Garry Marshall's upcoming Georgia Rule. The actor recently signed on to the film in which he'll play an all around great guy and husband who, at times, secretly molests Lindsay Lohan, his step-daughter. Sounds peachy.
• 20th Century Fox desperately wants to be cool. And they're proving it by picking up an untitled comedy pitch by Derek Guiley and David Schneiderman. Story is based on a real-life seminar for adults who feel as if they've lost touch with what's "cool" these days. Pic will follow four ad execs who wind up in a high school where they find themselves reverting back to a teenager's mentality. I assume this means there will be tons of note passing, keg-stands and sloppy make-out sessions. Hey, I'm game.
• According to British newspaper Daily Express, Keith Richards begged the producers of Pirates of the Caribbean to let his fellow Rolling Stones bandmates appear in the third installment of the franchise along with him. Richards thought it would be a hoot if Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood and Charlie Watts could play a vile pirate crew that hangs around Richards' character. Apparently, however, producers denied his request saying the script doesn't allow for it. Not for nothing, but one Rolling Stone is enough. Throw the whole band in there and now you're coming dangerously close to something The Simpsons would do. Just my two cents.

A few new bits of info have hit the net regarding the third and final installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Not much has been said about Captain Jack's last trip (well, we tried, but Disney made us remove the news) and so any small bit of tasty goodness is worth reporting. According to Jim Hill via his website, the man has gotten his hands on the plot summaries for four of Disney's highly anticipated films due out in 2007. Along with POTC part 3, he dishes the dirt on Meet the Robinsons, Ratatouille and Enchanted.

With a working title of Pirates the Caribbean: At World's End, the plot description does seem a bit vague, but still manages to give up a couple spoilers, depending on how much you know and how hard you look for them. As expected from the title, look for sh*t to hit the fan as our favorite characters collide in some sort of climactic battle, while navigating their way through treachery and betrayal. The actual description isn't too far off from the one I just gave you, but feel free to check it out for yourself.

However, one small tidbit did surface out of the mouth of Tom Hollander, who will be playing the role of Lord Cutler Beckett in Dead Man's Chest. According to the actor, Keith Richards will indeed be making a cameo appearance in World's End, most likely as Captain Jack's father. Previous rumors had him possibly playing a role in Dead Man's Chest, but due to conflicts with that whole Stones thing, the casting remained up in the air. Hopefully it's true this time -- I know my fingers are crossed.

[via JoBlo]