So, over on Vanity Fair, they have this piece up on the relative importance of Britney Spears and why even respectable magazines such as VF have dipped their toes into covering, first Paris Hilton, and now Britney. Matt Pressman ponders in the piece:

In fact, this recent spate of "serious" coverage, combined with the uncomfortable fact that no dinner conversation can proceed for more than 15 minutes without the name Britney being invoked, raises a sinister question: is Britney Spears-along with, perhaps, President Bush-the most important cultural figure in America?

Maybe in Pressman's house, Britney is a frequent topic of dinner conversation, but she's certainly not in mine. If we're not talking to the kids about their current obsessions (Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, My Little Pony and Twilight), we're talking about how to best get our fledging organic garden going or mulling over the latest in the ongoing Clinton-Obama debacle. But Britney? Not so much.

The current issue of Entertainment Weekly features a cover story on "The 50 Smartest People in Hollywood." Last week, Monika commented on that list, stating that it's not as fun reading about smarties as it is reading about the dummies. Well, in response to EW, New York's Daily News ran its own list of the "Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood." Not surprisingly, sitting in the number one spot is Lindsay Lohan. An obvious choice since she's been the subject of more bad decisions -- at least that the media has concentrated on -- than any other celeb out there. Well, maybe Britney Spears (shockingly far down at #14) has made more. But Lohan has also made bad career decisions in addition to her bad personal-life decisions. Go ahead and sift through Cinematical's coverage of Lohan throughout the past year or two; I challenge you to find one smart idea she's had (entering rehab doesn't count).

Since this is a tabloid, though, the Daily News' list is hardly about career smarts. Most of the people on the list are there because of their scandals, controversies and apparently unforgivable, ongoing problems. That is how Shia LaBeouf -- who should be on EW's list more than Ben Affleck should -- can be considered dumb, despite the fact that his public drunkenness arrest has hardly dented his career. Same goes for Russell Crowe, whose phone-throwing incident was more than two years ago. Other celebs are easily agreed with: former Oscar hopeful Courtney Love; almost-threw-it-all-away-at-the-beginning actress Vanessa Hudgens; K-Fed (only #38?). Check out the rest here.

[via Fark.com]

While his ex-wife Britney Spears continously attempts to dig herself out from under a pile of nonsense, Kevin Federline is slowly piecing together the type of career his old lady could never achieve. According to Hollywood.com (via In Touch Weekly), Federline has booked a gig in the new Keanu Reeves flick Night Watch. Although, technically, this isn't his first big-screen role (he played a dancer in You Got Served), this will be his first film that people might actually like. Go Kev! No word yet on who he's playing, but so far it's being described as a "small, but notable" role. Based on the film's description, I can take a few guesses as to who this dancer-turned-golddigger-turned-actor might be playing.

Plot revolves around a veteran LAPD cop (Reeves) who becomes an alcoholic following the death of his wife. When his former mentor (Forest Whitaker) frames him for the murder of a fellow officer (K-Fed???), our cop must find a way out of the jam that's been created for him. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say K-Fed will either play that cop that's killed (while undercover as the worst white rapper in history??) or some meaningless street thug who knows more than he's letting on. Hugh Laurie, Chris Evans, Naomie Harris and Common also star, and since we're looking at another gritty LAPD-related thriller, there's only one man capable of delivering the goods -- writer-director David Ayer. Based on a story by James Ellroy (L.A. Confidential), who also helped co-write the screenplay, Night Watch (previously known as The Night Watchman) is set to hit theaters sometime next year.

This might just be a marriage made in cheesy Baltimore heaven. On the one hand, you've got the prolific King of Filth, John Waters. The man not only delights in the usually undelightable, but he makes it look classy and seem perfectly sensible. The strange and perverse are his playground, and he particularly delights in controversial media names -- which is why Patricia Hearst pops up in all of his films these days. However, she might have to start fighting for his affections, as it seems like he's ready to wash in the current name of unpopularity -- Kevin Federline.

It makes perfect sense. Federline has been a media trainwreck ever since he left his pregnant girlfriend, Shar Jackson, for one Miss Britney Spears. From there, each morsel has gotten more terrible than the last. He turned people off with Chaotic and then assaulted our ears with his debut CD, Playing with Fire. Following tradition, where other people cringe, John Waters chuckles with glee, the lone Federline fanboy thrusting his lighter high into the air. In an interview with Canoe.ca, he is imagining his marriage to the media train-wreck while bad-mouthing Kevin's latest forgotten love interest. Now this would be something to bump up his cred. A marriage to Waters might be just what the guy needs now that Britney isn't around to prop him up. Unfortunately, I doubt they'll follow Alan Cumming and Grant Shaffer down the aisle. However, Waters giggled at the thought of casting Federline in his upcoming films. He's already used portions of Hearst's life to bring Cecil B. Demented to the screen, so maybe it's time Waters gave the music world his brand of Baltimore sleaze.

Kevin Federline Wants to Act ... In Movies!

Move over Britney, your hubby is dreaming big ... screen, that is. Aside from trying to establish himself as the next hot singer, Kevin Federline would also like to act -- not as a real father and husband -- but in movies. Speaking to In Touch magazine, the pop-something notes he's been offered a few scripts -- one actually had him playing a drug dealer opposite Casey Affleck. Says Federline, "Sometimes I wake up in a comedic mood, and sometimes I wake up in a serious mood." Yeah, well, it doesn't matter when and how I wake up, I'm never in the mood to see Kevin Federline in anything except, maybe, a mug-shot photo.

Lohan Fired!

While, at one point, she was dangerously close to losing her job on the film Georgia Rule, Lindsay Lohan's careless off-screen actions have caused the actress/singer to be dropped from her UK record label. According to a report in The Sun, record company bosses were fed up with Lohan after she failed to do any promotion for her new album across the pond. Please, the girl can barely get out of bed in the morning, you really expect her to get on a plane and travel half-way across the world?

Sagat and Those Filthy Penguins!

Comedian Bob Saget was forced back into the editing room recently after those involved with his upcoming March of the Penguins spoof were afraid the first version of the film was too insane. In fact, Lewis Black (who voiced a penguin in the pic) felt that, not only would Farce of the Penguins be denied a theatrical release, but the folks behind the film may even be arrested. Arrested? What the hell are they doing to these poor penguins? Black says, "It's not just completely filthy, but it's certainly a funky little movie." Okay, there's pushing the envelope ... and then there's raping the damn thing. Yet, how come I want to see this film so badly?