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Welcome to Cinematical's official liveblogging of the 79th Annual Academy Awards (which is currently being aired live on ABC)! Erik will be your host for the first hour; Monika will bat second and Kim will clean things up. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will get stuck in the bathroom? Let's find out ...

Yes! The dance troupe returns ... for some more rolling shadow-dancing. Okay, that's it for me. Enjoy the rest of the night; Monika is next up to bat. Go Sunshine!

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin. I'm sorry, but Rachel Weisz looks stunning. Damn you Darren! Damn you! She's nervous, but who cares? She's dazzling. Alan Arkin wins! Do push-ups! Do push-ups! And the Academy gets one right. I love it -- he reads his speech like he's toasting a couple at a wedding. Mazel Tov, Alan. You deserve this one.

Best Sound Mixing: Dreamgirls. Jessica Biel and James McAvoy (in his sexy Scottish accent) present the award. Oh, just throw a pint at someone in the audience already! And Dreamgirls (nominated for 8 awards tonight) takes home their first. Thanks Bill Condon! You didn't get nominated for best picture, but it's okay -- your movie made me want to dance. And dance hard!

Best Sound Editing: Letters from Iwo Jima. Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear show up ... and Steve makes a silly sexually-related sound editing joke. (Wasn't it better when they mixed these awards in somewhere in the middle?) Will this be the only award for Letters? Is this Clint's token award? This guy reads his speech like a fourth-grade book report. It's okay dude, the kids won't laugh at you. (I will, though.)

A salute to sound and cinema? Man, I'm getting the shaft in this first hour. Everyone is whistling. Thank God I'm not sober; this is actually pretty entertaining for some reason.

Best Live Action Short: West Bank Story. And the kids get to stay on for one more; Christopher Jada Mohammed Scorsese Smith makes a short joke. Classic! West Bank Story wins. I love these little voice-overs while the nominees walk up to snatch their award. I think this dude jumped out of a helicopter while he was filming, and blew something up. That's what I heard, at least ...

Best Animated Short: The Danish Poet. Oohh, the kids get to do one. How cute? Abigail Breslin and Christopher Will Smith Jada Pinkett Something or Other look adorable on stage together. Where will they be (and who will they be doing) ten years from now? That's what Ryan Seacrest wants to know. The Danish Poet wins. And all I want is for Christopher Jayden Pinkett Wahlberg to drop-kick someone.

Best Achievement in Make-Up: Pan's Labyrinth. After the greatest awards intro ever, Pan's Labyrinth takes home its second award of the night. Take that Click! We're definitely off to a good start -- get these snore awards out of the way, and let the good stuff take over.

Ha, I love the afro Will Ferrell is sporting! He's singing a song about how the Oscars screw comedies each and every year. Jack Black pops up; this could be good. "Leo, do you think you can date supermodels and win awards?" Best. Line. Ever. See, now why couldn't they just have these two guys host? John C. Reilly cuts in! Man, screw the awards -- I want these guys to sing all night. "I'm going to lose 40 pounds to play Ralph Nader." This is (and will be) the best part of the night.

Maggie G. looks good! And yet they give her the throwaway scientific awards category. Man, the Oscars kicked things off in a lame way this year, huh? Where's the juice? Where's the spark? And what's up with the rolling shadow-dancing?

Don't forget, kids, – because I'm absolutely insane, I'm forcing Martha and Erik to help me live blog the Golden Globes tonight. You can start your evening over at TV Squad where, starting at about 6pm, Bob Sassone will be blogging the red carpet arrivals. Then, swing back on over here for marathon coverage. And, of course, don't forget to snark to your hearts content in the comments.

The Golden Globes are less a legitimate awards show than a social experiment: one night a year, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association throws the world's biggest movie stars into a room with the skimmed cream of American TV, gives everyone a lot of booze, and puts the whole thing on television for the world to see. Here at Cinematical, there's nothing we like better than a little experimentation. To that end, we're teaming up with our cousin TV Squad to bring you extensive live coverage of the Globes this Monday night. You'll want to start your evening at TV Squad at 6pm EST, when Bob Sassone will start live blogging the red carpet arrivals. Then, at 8pm, swing back over here. Martha, Erik and I will be tag teaming the rest of the show until all the champagne is gone and the statues are handed out (or until the awards are over – whatever comes first). The morning after the show, we'll have a recap of the film related highlights here on Cinematical; television junkies can head back on over the The 'Squad for the same, but different. In the meantime, stick around, because we've got a slew of prediction posts lined up to get you through the weekend.