lonely hearts Tagged Articles at Cinematical

My favorite film critic is unquestionably Roger Ebert. When I was a kid, I used to get his "Yearbooks" for Christmas every year, and I've watched every incarnation of his television show. I loved Siskel and Ebert, I like Ebert and Roeper, and the show currently exists in a sort of limbo state I call Not Siskel and Not Ebert. Since Ebert's unfortunate illness, the show has tried a variety of "guest critics." Usually these are film journalists -- A.O. Scott of the New York Times does an excellent job and is the closest the show has to a regular. But they've made some very interesting non-critic choices too. Jay Leno, Fred Willard, and Harold Ramis (Egon!) are just a few of the less traditional names they've brought in for the gig. Kevin Smith did a particularly nice job of co-hosting, and has been invited back. But none of these guests could have prepared me for tonight. The show comes on at 1AM here in Los Angeles, and when I saw who was sitting in I actually jolted up in bed, horror-movie style. None other than John Mellencamp was filling in for Roger Ebert! That's right, the "Cougar!" And it hurt so good!

Mellencamp did the worst job I've seen yet on the show, but it's hard to make fun. The guy's clearly not trying to be a serious critic, he's got a pretty decent day job going. He and Roeper reviewed Vacancy, Lonely Hearts, In the Land of Women, and Fracture. Of that list, Roeper only gave a positive review to Women, but Mellencamp loved each and every one, using the word "fantastic" to describe just about everything. He picked the classic documentary Grey Gardens as his video pick of the week. I don't know how they booked him or how it happened, but Mellencamp did seem to be pretty clueless in the film department. Now I suppose I could get on my high horse and say "What business does a musician have criticizing movies? Does Gene Shalit play "guest guitar" for Green Day?" But I actually think it's kind of fun to hear from these unlikely sources. And hey, Mellencamp did direct and star in a movie called Falling From Grace. I haven't seen it, but before you mock, Grace is highly respected by Ebert, who gave it a four-star review back in 1992, and Roeper, who wrote a column then offering money back to anyone who didn't like it. Apparently the staff of NBC's The Office aren't as keen on his film work. On the episode two weeks ago, Kevin said "If someone gives you 10,000-to-1 odds on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude."

To watch the Mellencamp show in full, keep checking the Ebert and Roeper website. Get well soon, Roger! And hurry back! Please!

Leave it to Hollywood to change the basis of a storyline to glam things up a bit. Last year, Martha Fischer reviewed Lonely Hearts for the Tribeca Film Festival. The story is based on the Lonely Hearts Killers -- a murderous and far-from-glamorous duo/couple from the late 1940's. He was a balding, toupee-wearing man with a large scar on the top of his head, she was a 200+ pound woman who had spent her life lonely and ridiculed. That obviously doesn't make for sexy cinema, so the leads were cast with Jared Leto as Raymond Fernandez and Salma Hayek as Martha Beck.

It's actually interesting that the story was so sauced up, since the screenwriter and director is Todd Robinson -- the grandson of Detective Elmer C. Robinson, who was one of the detectives in the case. I guess familial ties can't also ensure accuracy. Now the film, which follows predecessors like The Honeymoon Killers and Deep Crimson, has found itself a U.S. distributor in Roadside Attractions and Samuel Goldwyn films. Beyond Leto and Hayek, there's John Travolta without the Hogs as Detective Robinson, James Gandolfini as his partner, Charles Hildebrandt, Scott Caan as another detective and Laura Dern as a co-worker who is having an affair with Robinson. As Martha described in her review, the story focuses on both sides of the story -- the couple who kill and the police duo who hunt them down. You won't have to wait too long to see the film for yourself, as the plan is to release it next month, on April 13.

As I stare at the picture of Brad Pitt above, knowing that, to some women, he is considered the hottest piece of hot to ever grace the planet Hot, I question what it actually takes to be that kind of man. A real man. With a gun at my side and an open field of opportunity before me.

I mean, is there a "Guide to Becoming a Real Man" manual that I can buy? If I don't follow the manual strictly, does that mean I'm a fake man? And if I did turn out to be a fake man, could I skip work and use that as an excuse? "Well, see sir, I'm not a real man. I'm fake. Yeah, even if I did come into work, nothing real would get done. Everyone knows a fake man cannot do real work. Right?"

Regardless of what your definition of a "real man" is, the following films all feature men with real problems. Okay, one of them is about teenagers, but the director is a real maniac -- so that counts. I think. While I go off to try and figure out whether or not a real man is allowed to crave his Mom's cupcakes, how about you stick here and check out the following real trailers? Welcome to this week's Trailer Park ...