major movie star Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Everyone who misses Steve Guttenberg raise your hand. I wasn't the only one, I hope. Maybe you want to pretend you didn't love Officer Mahoney, but you know you did. And you probably even enjoyed him in Three Men and a Baby and its sequel, Three Men and a Little Lady, as well as Cocoon and its sequel, Cocoon: The Return. Oh yeah, and Short Circuit? And Diner? Even if you weren't a Police Academy fan (he was in four out of seven of the movies), you had to be able to find something you enjoyed him in. Well, according to The Hollywood Reporter, he's back. Actually, he never disappeared; he was just doing less-seen work. In fact, this new project may be yet another of those little-seen gigs -- but at least he's getting his name in the trades!

Unfortunately, this new gig also seems to be nothing like his old roles. Guttenberg is playing a father whose son falls down a well. Titled The Well, the movie doesn't even sound like a comedy; it's about a divorcing couple whose kid disappears. Could anything be less Mahoney-esque? I doubt there will be even one scene featuring Guttenberg hitting on a hot new police recruit. What a waste. Joining the actor is Irish actress Aislinn Sands and British actor Dominic Rickhards. The Well, which begins filming in Berlin this week, was written by Sabine Leipert and Julia Newmann and will be directed by Stephen Manuel, who just finished a movie called Perfect Hideout, starring Billy Zane. Meanwhile, those of us who really miss Guttenberg can force ourselves to watch him and Jessica Simpson in Major Movie Star, which is set for release by Warner Bros. sometime next year.

Anyway, I'm wondering what you guys think was Guttenberg's biggest career mistake: turning down Big; turning down Ghostbusters; or departing the Police Academy franchise after #4. Also, extra points for the first commenter to tell us what this post's headline references. Bonus extra points for telling me how the Stonecutters fit in, as well.

Although I generally prefer my wings with hot sauce and blue cheese, we're looking at a different type of wing here. This week we're looking at movies that are joined together by the common theme of winged creatures, so one might say we're Just Winging It.

Valkyrie
I'm not sure if the Valkyrie's of Norse mythology had wings of any kind, but whenever I hear the name I always picture the Marvel Comics character Valkyrie who was known for riding a winged horse. Anyway, this new flick from Bryan Singer (director of the first two X-Men movies and Superman Returns) looks awesome. Tom Cruise stars as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, a German officer at the heart of a conspiracy to overthrow Hitler's regime and assassinate the dictator. Knowing that the plot is doomed to fail adds a sense of tragedy to the whole thing, as does the fact that this based on a true story. Kenneth Branaugh and Terrence Stamp also star. Here's Erik's take on the trailer.

Alvin and the Chipmunks
I know, Chipmunks aren't winged creatures, but flying squirrels sort of are and it's not a huge leap to... Oh come on, work with me, people. After the absolutely dreadful teaser trailer (click here to share my pain) that dropped a few months ago (you have only moments to sell us on your film and you give us a poop eating joke?) this full length trailer looks surprisingly less awful. I'm not saying it looks great, but it made me laugh a few times and yeah the little buggers are kind of cute. Jason Lee plays Dave Seville, a down on his luck songwriter who happens upon three talking squirrels whose singing voices make his otherwise crappy songs palatable. This one is coming out right before Christmas, so I'm betting we'll be hearing the classic Chipmunks Christmas song along with the covers of pop tunes you can hear them sing in the trailer.

I thought twice about posting this because I really didn't want to ruin your Friday, but then I'd be disappointing all those Jessica Simpson fans out there. What to do? What to do? Oh well -- There's a new trailer out for Simpson's Major Movie Star, and I can't imagine anyone wanted to premiere it because Millennium Films stuck it somewhere on their website where the only people who could find it would be those searching for information on the film. Which means I expect all of about zero of you to have seen it already. About halfway through the thing Vivica Fox blurts out the line, "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth." After watching this disaster unfold, part of me thinks that line wasn't in the script.

In the film, Simpson plays a really famous actress (that part is funny) who blows all her money, goes bankrupt and decides to join the Army. Essentially, it's like an updated version of Goldie Hawn's Private Benjamin, only Simpson plays an actress whose movies are actually popular. And I give her credit for that performance seeing as she honestly had no real-life experience to draw from. So, what you get are a bunch of stereotypical boot camp scenes; Simpson runs through the mud, says something cute, kisses a guy and throughout the entire thing we get a voiceover from some random dude who's not our regular voiceover guy. It's so bad that it almost feels like you're watching one of those fake trailer mash-ups on YouTube. Between this film (which doesn't have a release date; wonder why?) and Blonde Ambition (which doesn't have a release date; wonder why?), Jessica Simpson's major movie career is heading for a major .... (you fill in the blank).

The one good thing Jessica Simpson's been able to do regarding her film career is to stay far away from the tabloid nonsense. Unlike Lindsay Lohan, films aren't shutting down completely just because the girl decided to go out to a club on a Saturday night. Unfortunately for Simpson, however, she just doesn't seem to have the big-screen chops. The roles she picks are awful, and her performances are even worse. But she's hot, has big boobs and a manager/father who will stop at nothing to transform his prize possession into a major movie star. Coincidentally, that's the name of Simpson's next film -- Major Movie Star -- and a few more names have just been added to the fantabulous cast list. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Vivica A. Fox, Steve "Mahoney!" Guttenberg, Ryan Sypek and Cheri Oteri will star opposite Simpson in the comedy.

Additionally, Olesya Rulin (High School Musical), Keiki Agena (Gilmore Girls), Jill Marie Jones, Aimee Garcia and Gary Grubbs will also show up in the film at some point. Ah, the film -- we're being told it follows a "somewhat clueless movie star who impulsively enlists in the U. S. Army Reserve after discovering her boyfriend is gay and her cousin/accountant has stolen all her money." Why those two unfortunate incidents would make someone want to join the military is beyond me, but that's what they're going with. Filming has already begun at Camp Minden near Shrevport, LA, and Steve Miner (who's also helming Day of the Dead) is directing. HR also lists exactly who's playing who (Fox as an intimidating Sgt., Guttenberg as a controlling talent agent, etc ..), but you can head on over there to fill yourself in. No word on a release date, but expect this one to hit on a weekend where the competition is so weak, a Jessica Simpson movie actually looks enticing.

Not yet, sweetheart. Variety tells us this morning that Steve Miner has been tapped by Millennium Films to direct Jessica Simpson in Major Movie Star, a film that will have her playing yet another dumb blonde. Are these the only roles she can get? Or is she specifically looking to play up the "I'm an idiot" angle just like she did on that reality television show? The production poster (which you can see to the right) had been floating around the Cannes Film Festival where, I imagine, one or all of the whopping 12 producers were trying to sell off international rights to a world that's probably just as sick of this girl as we are.

Essentially, we're looking at Private Benjamin 2 here ... except no one's going to come right out and say that Major Movie Star was "inspired" by the 1980 comedy starring Goldie Hawn. Simpson will play a pampered movie star who decides to enlist in the military in order to prove to a producer and a studio that she's the right gal for an upcoming military-themed picture. As previously mentioned, there are currently 12 producers circling the project, which has been in development for five years now. The original script was penned by April Blair (and I can see how 12 producers would probably equal five years worth of notes), and shooting is set to begin next month in Louisiana. Miner, who's known more for his horror flicks, just wrapped Day of the Dead for Millennium and, now, is probably gearing himself up to work with the worst zombie of them all.

Tooling around the internet this morning, a number of movie posters from the Cannes Film Festival have somehow found a way invade my computer screen; one of which just happened to be the production poster for Charlie Kaufman's (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) directorial debut, Synecdoche, New York. Philip Seymour Hoffman stars as a theater director who, while attempting to create a life-size replica of New York inside a warehouse for a new play, struggles to maintain the several different relationships he has with those of the opposite sex. ( I imagine the poster should make a lot more sense to people now.) Of course, since it's also written by Kaufman, look for lots of weird things to happen along the way. Catherine Keener, Michelle Williams, Hope Davis and Tilda Swinton also star.

Apart from Synecdoche, New York, we also have posters from flicks like Paranoid Park (the new Gus Van Sant flick), Leo DiCaprio's The 11th Hour (in which he attempts to be as cool as Al Gore), Tenderness (featuring Russell Crowe sporting a wicked mustache) and a new Jessica Simpson film called Major Movie Star (which in and of itself is a major contradiction). She wears an army-style bikini, and I imagine the film will have her joining the military as a dumb blonde -- gee, keep them original ideas coming boys. I don't get it, is it Simpson's goal to only star in films that are either inspired by or based on old 80s flicks and 70s TV shows?