Above: Ray Park as Snake Eyes in G.I. Joe

[Note: Other images removed at the request of the studio ... but picture a bunch of actors wearing black and looking tough.]

We're not sure if they were hoping to release these one at a time, but the website [Bad People Who Leak Photos Online] has gotten their hands on the entire batch of character photos from the upcoming live-action G.I. Joe flick. Included in the images are Channing Tatum (as Duke), Karolina Kurkova (as Cover Girl), Marlon Wayans (as Ripcord), Sienna Miller (as Baroness), Ray Park (as Snake Eyes), Rachel Nichols (as Scarlett) and Dennis Quaid (as Hawk). Almost all of them are wearing this same black, special-ops outfit, which leads us to believe they won't be showin' off the color when it's time to do battle.

G.I. Joe arrives in theaters on August 7, 2009.

If you were hankering for more details about the big-screen G.I. Joe, then today is your lucky day, because Hasbro's Brian Goldner is feeling chatty. MTV news spoke with G.I. Joe's executive producer and managed to score some important details about the feature film. Goldner is chief operating officer at Hasbro, and was responsible for releasing Joe back in the 80's to millions of military-minded children everywhere.

First up -- what the filmmakers have in store for main bad guy, Cobra Commander. According to Goldner: "In effect, this is all about the rise of Cobra Commander. ... For fans, they're really going to love this, because we take them on a journey. ... We have to go through the first chapter and then build from there." Rumors currently have Joseph Gordon-Levitt taking over the role of Cobra, but that has yet to be confirmed.

But it's not just about the bad-guys. Goldner also hinted about some new back-story on some of the more familiar characters, including Baroness (played by Sienna Miller) and Destro (Christopher Eccleston). As for the 'rah-rah military' tone of earlier incarnations of Joe, Goldner says that while the original feel, will still be there, we shouldn't start looking for any metaphors about global politics or foreign policy. According to Goldner: "Clearly, the American military is involved, as are other forces. But at the end of the day, the force that matters is the G.I. Joe force, and the Pit, and all the things that relate to that."

Now, what would a G.I. Joe movie be without the toy tie in? Goldner confirmed that Hasbro will revive the 3 and 3/4 inch figures from the 80's. "[That size] gives people a chance to get all the figures but get all of the vehicles. So it's going to be in that scale. ... Very true to where we were in the 1980s, and then we'll take it forward" -- gee I can't wait for my Marlon Wayans figure with kung-fu grip. G.I. Joe is set for release on August 7th, 2009.

My goodness, it seems like everywhere you turn somebody else is signing up for the big-screen adaptation of G.I. Joe. Variety reports that Dennis Quaid has now signed to star as General Hawk. You know, your typical 'grizzled' military man. He's probably going to have a cigar chomped in his teeth for three-quarters of the film. The news came on the heels of official word that Channing Tatum had been hired to play Duke; the second in command of the elite team with 'kung-fu grip'. Yesterday, Erik had also reported that Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy) will be playing Zartan, but so far there is no official word.

It looks like Quaid is technically one of the biggest name stars in the cast, which includes Marlon Wayans as Ripcord and Sienna Miller as The Baroness. Some of the other 'Joe' characters who will be making an appearance are Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who will play Heavy Duty, Byung-hun Lee as Storm shadow, Ray Park as Snake Eyes, and Said Taghmaoui as Breaker.

So far, there aren't many details about the plot, but what we do know is that Stuart Beattie's script will focus on "A European-based military unit known as Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.), a hi-tech, international force of special operatives that takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer". There are still a few more spots to fill, but it looks like director Stephen Sommers has almost finished assembling his team. Just in time too, since the film is scheduled to start shooting next month. G.I. Joe is scheduled for release on August 7th, 2009.

UPDATE: IESB now says that David Murray (a theater actor, apparently) has landed the role of Destro in G.I. Joe. Destro is the main villain in the film, and is described as the "faceless power behind Military Armaments Research System, the largest manufacturer of state-of-the-art weaponry."

I might not be the biggest G.I. Joe fan out there, but even I am starting to question some of the casting decisions for Paramount's big-screen adaptation. Variety reports that Marlon Wayans of White Chicks fame has signed to play Ripcord in their feature film based on the classic cartoon (nothing against the guy, he was great in Requiem for a Dream, but then again he did star in Little Man). For those of you out there who aren't all that familiar with "the *Greatest American Hero", Ripcord was one of the good guys and was the leader of a paramilitary group. He made his first appearance back in 1985 and was thought of as the "new wave" of recruits after the first round of 'Joes' retired. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is also said to be in negotiations to co-star, though his character is not named.

Mummy director Stephen Sommers will helm the script written by Stuart Beattie. The update of the story now has it set 10 years in the future and the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (G.I.J.O.E.) are still saving humanity from an arms dealer. News of Wayans joining the cast came just a few weeks after it was announced that Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (LOST) and Said Taghmaoui (The Kite Runner) would be joining Sienna Miller and Ray Park in the cast as 'Heavy Duty' and 'Breaker'. So for fans who might be keeping track, so far making appearances in the film will be; Ripcord, Heavy Duty, Breaker, with the possibility of Scarlett and Storm Shadow also popping up. Shooting is set to begin in Los Angeles this February and G.I. Joe is scheduled for release on August 7th, 2008.

*Correction: Joes were known as the "Real American Heroes"

Here's one of the great disappointments of 2007: Hot Fuzz only earned $23.6 million in the U.S. despite being one of the best reviewed and most hilarious comedies of the year. Now, here's something even more tragic: the Wayans brothers are set to make a similar movie, one which will probably be a huge hit, easily doubling or tripling the box office of Hot Fuzz. According to Variety, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans will parody cop actioners in the same way they spoofed horror films in the first two Scary Movie installments (3 and 4, which the brothers hate, were made by David Zucker). The main difference with this project, though, is that most of the gags and send-ups will have to reference relatively old movies. Unlike the Scary Movie franchise, which attempts the most timely of horror allusions, this new project won't have as many contemporary releases in the cop action genre to make fun of.

Well, there are at least two old movies the Wayans have to joke on: The Last Boyscout and Bulletproof, both of which starred their formerly better-known brother Damon. No matter what, though, the Wayans' cop movie (probably to be titled "Cop Movie") will not be as funny as Hot Fuzz. It may not even be as funny as Loaded Weapon 1, unfortunately. But it will likely share the same type of replication-as-parody sequences as that 1993 action spoof. The only thing that can keep one from being too cynical is that the Wayans did give us a lot of brilliant comedy on In Living Color, and we can always hope for a return to that talent despite our having put up with White Chicks and Little Man. This time around, the Wayans brothers will be making comedy gold at Paramount rather than at Scary Movie's Dimension, with Keenan Ivory Wayans once again directing. Whether or not this will affect their involvement with the Munsters movie is unknown.

Hopefully we'll never again have to see Marlon Wayans' face on the body of a little person, or covered by a white-girl mask. If he and his brothers (Shawn and Keenan Ivory) want another franchise (they are still going with the Scary Movie series), they could possibly make one out of their next project. The Wayanses are turning their comic book Super Bad James Dynomite into a live-action feature film for Rogue Pictures with Marlon starring as the title role. Dynomite is a 1970s blaxploitation-era detective -- ala Shaft and Dolemite (which is apparently being remade) -- who has been in prison for the past 35 years, or so. When he's released in the present, he retains his 70s look, complete with exaggerated afro, and sets off to find the criminal who framed him.

The comic is full of adult material, so turning it into a franchise wouldn't be as easy as it has been for superhero titles. The Wayans brothers aren't reported as being interested in sequels, but I'm sure Rogue would love a franchise if the guys were down and if the first movie does good business. Of course, there are a few reasons why the movie might not be too successful. The most important of these reasons is that blaxploitation doesn't need another homage. Between the Shaft remake, Jackie Brown and the spy comedy Undercover Brother, we've seen enough tributes to and jokes on the genre recently to last us another 35 years. Plus, the Wayanses already covered the territory with the blaxploitation spoof I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. The bottom line, though, is that the original films are just too enjoyable by themselves to require any kind of hindsight rehash. If Dynomite is only a single shot film, Rogue should be fine. The studio also just bought another script from Marlon and Shawn, which was co-written by Xavier Cook and Mitchell Marchand (The Wayans Bros. television series).

A good parody is hard to spin beyond the here and now. Take "Weird Al" Yankovic, for example. The pop-music jokester has put out 11 regular albums since 1983, when the accordian-playing nice guy's spoof of The Knack's "My Sharona" (titled "My Bologna" and recorded in the men's room of his college radio station) started his career as a musician, comedic icon and food fetishist when it blew up on The Dr. Demento Show. However, every hilarious and unforgettable cut like "Eat It", "Like A Surgeon" and "Smells Like Nirvana" that hit was matched by fade-away tracks like the New Kids jape "The White Stuff" (an ode to Oreos), the Rocky III goof "Theme From Rocky XIII (The Rye Or The Kaiser)" or the misjudgment "Taco Grande" (a riff on Latin rough-boy Gerardo's only hit, "Rico Suave"). The secret to a successful parody is complex, involving a careful balance of picking a song that is big enough, worthy of a good-natured dressing down and most important, funny. The same is true with movies, and the latest in the popular Scary Movie series is a great example of what can go right and wrong with such an attempt.