Each week, The Exhibitionist comments on the latest news, trends and innovations related to the theater industry, or it discusses long-continuing problems with and complaints against cinemas in general, or it simply relates a specific moviegoing experience of yours truly. But rarely does this column get into the subject of actual movies. Well, seeing as there's not much new in the industry this week, and seeing as I'm fortunately not being dragged to see Sex and the City and therefore have no experience to relate about being a sole male in an auditorium packed with women, I figure this is a perfect time to bring up actual movies. Not just any movies, though: I'm presently only interested in discussing movies about, set in or prominently featuring movie theaters.

The earliest movie that I'm familiar with that significantly involves a theater is Buster Keaton's Sherlock Jr. The silent comedian plays a projectionist who falls asleep on the job then has a dream in which he literally climbs through the movie screen and into a detective film. A similar idea of breaking the boundary between auditorium and screen is used in Woody Allen's The Purple Rose of Cairo and in John McTiernan's The Last Action Hero, both of which involve a movie character who manages to leave his respective film within the film. But nothing tops Keaton's screen-entering stunt, which utilizes special effects that still astonish more than 80 years later.

I was so, so, so excited about Regal Entertainment's announcement last august that the theater chain had developed a new complaint system called Regal Guest Response. The system utilizes hand-held devices that are given to select customers, who are then responsible for alerting management about problems with the film's picture or sound, film piracy or audience disturbances. But it has been almost a year since the company began testing out the walkie-talkie-like contraptions in 13 of its locations, and I was beginning to think the system would never be expanded to the rest of the country. This week, though, the chain, which runs Regal Cinemas, Edwards Cinemas and UA Theatres, is rolling out the devices to 114 theaters.

According to Regal, the test run showed that customer etiquette improved in the locations using the devices. The company did not, however, specify how frequently patrons were tattled on by their fellow audience members or whether the etiquette improvement was based on customers being aware of the system. Apparently if you are a member of Regal's Crown Club (as I am) then you have a good chance of being one of those selected to carry the device into the theater and monitor the screen and crowd. For the rest of you seeing a movie at any of Regal's locations this weekend, be on your best behavior, because the guy seated behind you might just need to push a button in order to have you removed.

In response to this news, New York Magazine has created its own modified version of the device, which offers more amusing complaint options, which are specifically applicable for NYC theaters, including buttons marked "Mentally Ill Person Shouting At Screen" and "Hookers". The magazine also added a button that we all wish we could have in this age of bad movies: "Plot/Cinematography."

Imagine going to the movies on a Saturday night and having your show ruined by rowdy teenagers. Okay, maybe this has happened to you many times, but was it ever 100 rowdy teens? And did the movie you were seeing get shut off in order for the management to take care of the situation? It is no wonder that movie attendance is down when this sort of thing can happen in a nice, suburban multiplex like the Cinemark 8 in Youngstown, Ohio.

This past Saturday night, one screen at the Cinemark 8 was shut down in order to remove 100 kids from the premises. When the police arrived, they had to break up a fight among some teenage girls, at least two of which ended up in custody. One was a 13-year-old who kicked a can of pepper spray out of an officer's hands before kicking another officer in the groin while resisting arrest. The girl's 15-year-old sister was also taken away by the police and charged with disorderly conduct, apparently for screaming at the cops to let her sister go.

A manager at the theater was unable to tell me the name of the movie the kids had been watching, but of all the titles playing at the Cinemark 8 this week, Unaccompanied Minors seems the most likely as well as the most ironic.

Here are some past stories on cinema rowdiness:

Cinema Postpones "Gang Movie" Stomp the Yard

Surprise! People Prefer Movies at Home

Regal Entertainment Has Read My Mind

Theater Vandalism? Don't Blame Jackass

Despite the fact that Jackass Number Two is the most popular movie in America this week, some people around the country aren't all that happy to be showing the crude new release. Over the weekend, I told you how a theater owner in Hoopeston, Illinois closed his cinema for two weeks because he didn't want to book the movie (or anything else), and now comes this photo from a fourplex in Orange City, Iowa. Apparently the people running the theater aren't familiar with a certain four-legged animal let alone the watering-down of its impact as a curse word.

I wish I could have seen their marquee when it featured the following titles: Buttbuttins; The Buttbuttination of Richard Nixon; Baadbuttttt! and the Ron Jeremy classic Girls Who Take it Up the Butt 21.


[via Fark.com]

After reporting last week about plans to soon equip one-third of American cinemas with digital projectors, I received a few comments telling of disappointing encounters with the new format. It got me wanting to do some more research on the technology and the experience, and hopefully soon take in a digital showing somewhere. I haven't yet become an expert on the subject, but I did come across an interesting set of articles in Sunday's Ventura County Star, both written by Allison Bruce, which give the pros and the cons of both digital and film projectors.

Aside from the obvious factors that make digital attractive -- clearer picture, cheaper distribution -- Bruce includes an amusing comment from director Barry Sonnenfeld in which he says studios could easily change a movie that has been badly received by critics or audiences, after it has opened in theaters. He cites King Kong as a good example of a movie that would have benefited had Universal been able to cut out 40 minutes of the film after hearing that viewers complained of it being too long. I highly doubt that any studios would actually take advantage of this, though. After all, isn't that why they have test screenings?

One thing I think that hurts digital, evident from Bruce's article supporting digital, is that most of the format's pros are beneficial to studios and theaters more than to audiences. The cheaper distribution, the ease of projector use, the issues with piracy and the scheduling ideas for exhibitors are all meant to save the businesses money. But will it trickle down the savings to the consumer? No way. In fact, I see digital being used as an excuse to raise prices for the ticket buyers. Consider that the big theater chains are about to borrow a collective billion dollars. It is obvious that we, the audience, will be depended upon to pay those loans back.

Declining ticket sales are forcing theater owners to get creative, and as soon as next year you may be able to go watch your local sports team up on the big screen...in 3-D! In a bid to keep up with technology (ie: Us being lazy and not wanting to leave the couch), theater chains are looking to expand into something like a gigantic living room.

Shari Stone, the President of National Amusement Inc., put it best when she said, "We want to transition our theaters from being traditional movie theaters to being community entertainment destinations, and what better way to do this than sports?" Hmm. While this space would usually be reserved for sarcasm, it's weird, but I kind of think this would be a good idea.

Could you see yourself going to the movies to watch some Sunday football? If not, what else could theaters do to attract more people, aside from lowering their absurd prices?