Wait a sec, strike that -- this is actually real. Surfing the net today, I came across a page housing several commercials starring some of your favorite celebs. Oh yes, when their summer home in Tuscany needs a new kitchen or bathroom, odds are you'll spot a high profile celeb or two appearing in a random ad for, say, cosmetics or faster internet or ... whatever it is Nicolas Cage is singing about in the video above.

I'm not sure what he's selling here -- from what I understand, there are several Japanese companies named Sankyo; ranging from pharmaceuticals (Sankyo Pharma) to flutes (Sankyo Flute Company). It would be odd if Cage was selling flutes and playing a piano in the commercial, but I wouldn't put anything past them nutty Japanese. Check out a ton more commercials over here, and let us know if you have a favorite foreign commercial starring a popular American actor or actress. (Personally, this one will always be my favorite!!!)

[via IMDb]

In the original Bangkok Dangerous, the main character (an assassin) was deaf-mute. A very interesting angle for a killer, and one that would've made for good conversations had that aspect of the film made its way into the English-language remake. Ah, but it's not to be. I mean, could you imagine hiring Nicolas Cage for a film and then giving him no lines? Seriously -- the guy overacts as it is; what in the world would it look like if Cage had to tell us everything through facial expressions? There's a chance the dude's cheeks would literally explode on camera.

But anyway, above you will find the trailer for Bangkok Dangerous; a remake of the 1999 Pang Brothers film, directed by the boys behind the original. Here, Cage plays an assassin who travels to Thailand to kill a bunch of people, but falls for a local Thai girl in the process. Cue feelings of regret ... yada yada. For those who saw the original, how do you feel about them removing such a crucial part for the remake?

Bangkok Dangerous hits theaters on August 22.

Twenty-one years ago, Francis Ford Coppola made Peggy Sue Got Married. It was a strange fantasy comedy, one that scored itself some Oscar nominations and starred Kathleen Turner and Coppola's nephew, Nicolas Cage. There's already been talk of how Cage was difficult on set. The actor himself admitted last year to Conan O'Brien that he based Charlie's strange and distracting voice on Gumby, and how his uncle and the studio almost fired him over it.

Now there's more word about his behavior during that production, and he's really not happy with it. In her upcoming book, Send Yourself Roses, Turner discusses her time with Cage during the film, and while the book has yet to hit shelves, the BBC reports that a "defamation, libel, and slander" case has been filed by Nicolas in London's High Court. What has got him so worked up, especially since he already admitted to being difficult?

According to The Daily Mail (via American Superstar), she wrote that Cage was "absolutely determined to prove that he wasn't there as the result of nepotism." And followed it up with: "Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He'd come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket."

So -- was he just a bratty and difficult nephew on set, or was he some wacko who stole chihuahuas? Who knows? It still sounds entertaining. Turner's book is scheduled to hit shelves this month, and also features dirt on Burt Reynolds and Christie Brinkley (the latter of which sounds like Spider-Man, without crime-fighting as an excuse for no-shows).

He may not be a wrestler, but Nicolas Cage certainly knows how to be dangerous in Bangkok. Back in June of 2006, the National Treasure-hunting actor signed on for the Pang Brothers' (Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang) remake of their 1999 action film, Bangkok Dangerous. Now The Hollywood Reporter posts that Lionsgate has picked up the North American distribution rights to the film, which they will push out to us this summer.

Bangkok follows Cage as "an anonymous assassin who travels to the city to handle four kills for an underworld crime boss, but his conscience becomes his enemy when he meets a local Thai girl." You might notice that the deaf-mute angle on Cage's character is missing this time around. Why? According to an old interview with the filmmakers: "We'd like to keep him the same, but we understand that from a marketing purpose Nic needs to have some lines." In other words, they were convinced to change the character? That's really too bad, since that's an interesting angle for a hitman -- someone who can't hear the results of his work. Instead, his girlfriend will get the deaf treatment. Still, it's the Pang Brothers, so maybe that won't matter.

According to Jim Hill Media, Disney registered the following domain names just the other day: NationalTreasure3DVD.com and NationalTreasure4DVD.com. This means that, yes, most likely plans are already underway to shovel out two more National Treasure sequels. A third installment was already set up at the end of National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and now that the film has grossed over $200 million, another Nicolas Cage adventure is all but certain. But when, and what will it be about?

Well, Jim Hill says the sequel probably won't hit theaters until Christmas 2010, and in the meantime -- in order to keep the property fresh in people's minds -- Disney will release a bunch of National Treasure-themed children's books; the first of which (Changing Tides, a Gates Family Mystery) already arrived in bookstores back in November. Additionally, there are also some minor rumblings that Disney will also create a theme park ride geared around the franchise. Though a script cannot be written until the writer's strike is over, a top secret plot description is making the rounds -- but keep in mind this might (and most probably will) change. Possible spoiler warning ahead ...

Hill says, the third film will "send the Gates family off to Easter Island and beyond in search of Atlantis. More importantly, the pure, clean power source that was supposedly lost forever when this ancient civilization sank beneath the sea. Which -- were it to be harnessed today -- would immediately put an end to global warming. Not to mention making gas & oil obsolete." Are you a fan of the franchise? Where would you like to see the Gates Family travel next? (And if I asked Weinberg that question, he'd probably say direct to DVD.)

[via Slashfilm]

Most guys probably prefer to look at Penélope Cruz. I think I would rather listen to her. Really, who could resist that cute Spanish-accented voice? I especially like in Vanilla Sky when she says, "I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats." Well, according to The Hollywood Reporter, I'll get to listen to her voice without seeing her body in the upcoming live-action/animated combo film G-Force. But instead of her being a cat, Cruz is playing a guinea pig named Juarez.

If you remember back to my post from last November, Juarez isn't the only guinea pig in the Jerry Bruckheimer-produced movie. There's also Blaster, a Cavia porcellus (aka guinea pig) voiced by Tracy Morgan. Other animals and their respective voices include a mole named Speckles (Nicolas Cage), a hamster named Bucky (Steve Buscemi) and some humans (Will Arnett, Bill Nighy, Kelli Garner and others).

The humans are, of course, live-action and played by real-life actors. The animals, on the other hand, are computer-generated toons (like Alvin and the Chipmunks, I guess). And they're super-smart commandos that work for the government. And they're out to stop a evil billionaire from taking over the world (isn't it enough to be a billionaire?). As we've told you before, the script for the family-friendly action pic was written by National Treasure team Cormac and Marianne Wibberley (aka The Wibberleys) and it will be helmed by first-time director Hoyt Yeatman, who has two Academy Awards -- one for his visual effects work on The Abyss and one Technical Achievement Award "for the identification and diagnosis leading to the elimination of the 'red fringe' artifact in traveling matte composite photography." We'll have to see if the guy can score another Oscar someday for directing, though I doubt he'll manage that goal with G-Force.

The Klingon death blade you see Diablo Cody wielding here is what she used to slay the other box-office contenders over the weekend. Juno leapfrogged from number ten -- already respectable for such a small film -- to number five, coming in just behind Charlie Wilson's War and I Am Legend with an impressive $10.3 million. These numbers were enough to cause Fox Searchlight to press the big button -- Juno will now expand to 2,000 screens next weekend. So far, the film about a wise-ass 16 year-old who becomes pregnant and decides to carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption, has brought in a total of $25.7 million. This puts it well on track to blow Little Miss Sunshine, its equivalent from last year, totally out of the water -- LMS only brought in $59.8 million domestic total.

In other box office news, Cage continued to hold the top spot with National Treasure: Book of Secrets bringing in $35.6 million. In nine days, the film has pulled in $124 million. Meanwhile, although I Am Legend slipped down to the number three slot this weekend, it still pulled in $27.5 million and is just on the verge of breaking the $200 million mark. It will be interesting to see if National Treasure can gain ground on Big Willy over the next few weeks -- it seems to be the film with the most staying power at the moment, but Legend has a big head-start. Sweeney Todd also stayed strong this weekend, bringing in $8 million for a ninth-place finish. Atonement, on the other hand, has yet to find its audience, which will hurt its Oscar front-runner status.

Nicolas Cage and Alex Proyas are not names that are synonymous with quality. Proyas in particular is a director who seems of late to just be happy being a studio go-to guy. He's as comfortable standing by and watching Will Smith mess up a piece of decent sci-fi as he would be off directing unique passion projects like Dark City. Nevertheless, he still seems to have a good eye for a story with a hook, and I'm finding the premise of his next film, just announced in Variety, a bit intriguing. Proyas will direct Cage in Knowing, a movie about a teacher who discovers a time capsule buried in the yard of an elementary school. Inside the capsule are accurate predictions about the future up to the present day and beyond, with the beyond part being pretty scary. Just that much alone brings up questions -- how do they authenticate such an item? How do you quickly get past the notion that some prankster just put the thing in the ground last week?

The project originated with novelist Ryne Pearson and a script has been rewritten by Stiles White (nice name) and Juliet Snowden. No word yet on supporting cast, but I certainly hope they get someone who can tamp down Cage's excessive hamminess, as evidenced in the ads for his latest film. By the way, if I see that trailer for National Treasure: Book of Secrets one more time, I'm going to personally drive to California and knock on the door of the marketing offices of Disney and explain to them that their tagline -- "What is it about treasure that makes history so fascinating?" -- makes absolutely no sense, grammatically or logically. Come on, people.

Last night I was watching The Rock with a stranded house guest (first snow = flight cancellations) who really loves Nicolas Cage. Near the beginning of the movie (one of my favorite guilty pleasures), she asked why Cage does these kinds of movies, and I replied that he must simply love doing dumb action. It's got to be easier and more fun than trying to win another Oscar, that's for sure. It's not surprising, coincidentally, to find some quotes from the actor on ComingSoon.net this morning in which he proposes a couple more dumb action movies he'd like to star in. The interesting thing, though, is that they're more sequels -- something Cage hadn't seemed too interested in prior to National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Of course, the only reason he never did a sequel before is more likely because his movies weren't big enough hits to warrant a follow-up. I doubt he would have turned down Snake Eyes 2.

The first movie he asks for is Ghost Rider 2, which he says could happen if only someone gives him a call. It's actually pretty surprising that nobody has contacted him about a Ghost Rider sequel considering it made more than $200 million worldwide, and it had a shockingly great opening -- the best 4-day President's Day weekend gross ever, in fact. Plus, director Mark Steven Johnson claimed last summer that there were talks for GR2. Cage said it would be "fun" to return to the comic book character with the flaming skull head (see: he does it cuz it's "fun"). The other hoped for sequel is a third National Treasure (the second, Book of Secrets, is out later this month), though he is interested in expanding the series so "it becomes more and more International Treasure." Maybe Cage is jealous of Indiana Jones, but he'd like his character, Ben Gates, to have to travel to London, Paris, Egypt, Africa, Asia and more. He said, "that would be a lot of fun for me." (see: he does it cuz it's "fun"). Well, Nic, here's what would be a lot of fun for me: Con Air 2. As long as you enjoy doing dumb action, why not bring back the funniest, dumbest action you've ever made?

I love talking animals as much as the next guy, but does Steve Buscemi always have to play some kind of toothy rodent? Actually, it's possible he only did that once, for Charlotte's Web (I'm not sure what kind of animal he is in Home on the Range). But wasn't that enough? Sure, he kinda looks rodent-like, but I'm sure he has the range when we're not looking at his mug. Anyway, according to The Hollywood Reporter, this time around it's a hamster named Bucky, who Buscemi will provide his voice for in the Disney movie G-Force. As we told you a few months back, G-Force is a Jerry Bruckheimer production that mixes live-action and computer animation and is about a group of genetically enhanced commando guinea pigs who have to stop an evil billionaire with world-domination dreams. Other voices will be provided by Nicolas Cage, as a mole named Speckles, and Tracy Morgan, as a guinea pig named Blaster.

As for the live-action roles, new to the cast are Bill Nighy, as an industrialist, and Will Arnett, as an FBI agent. And thank goodness for them, because the actors previously brought on to appear in the movie were too obscure for me to handle. They included Gabriel Casseus (Black Hawk Down) , Zach Galifianakis (Into the Wild), Kelli Garner (The Aviator) and Jack Conley (Fun With Dick and Jane). I know in a movie like this it's all about the talking animals, but with Nighy we've got ourselves a real movie. And with Arnett we have a funnier movie. Bruckheimer told THR that this will be another movie to be enjoyed by everyone "from the smallest kid to the oldest grandparent." He also pointed out that the movie's director, Oscar-winning visual effects master Hoyt Yeatman, came up with the idea with his son. From there it was apparently passed on to National Treasure screenwriters Cormac and Marianne Wibberley (aka The Wibberleys). G-Force is currently in production and expects a May 2009 release (Just a hint to Bruckheimer: it might make sense to add an extra dimension to this movie, since I think everything else animated coming out that month is going to be in 3D).

I don't have much against Mickey Rourke. Sometimes, I would much prefer to watch him than Nicolas Cage. Other times, it's vice versa for me. Neither is really a better actor than the other, and neither is particularly better looking. But for Hollywood, there's a definite difference between the two actors. Cage is a big star who can sell a movie. Rourke isn't, and hasn't been for about twenty years now. Sure, he's great in minor roles in big movies like Sin City and Once Upon a Time in Mexico, but as the lead in your movie? Are you sure you don't mean to be making a low-budget, straight-to-DVD flick instead? Certainly Darren Aronofsky (The Fountain) has no intention of sinking so low, but then its his film where Rourke just replaced Cage, according to Variety. It isn't known why Cage ducked out of The Wrestler, which he was attached to a month ago, but he's left us with one of the most unbalanced casting changes I've ever seen.

Rourke, who was arrested last week for riding a Vespa while allegedly intoxicated, will now play Randy "The Ram" Robinson, "an over-the-hill grappler who returns to the ring for one last shot at glory." The actor has been on a upward slope lately in terms of Hollywood success, but for awhile it seemed we'd lost the actor who was so good in Diner, The Pope of Greenwich Village and Barfly. But will he carry The Wrestler? Reports from the IMDb message boards claim that Cage had actually been doing research backstage at a Ring of Honor show. Now that research has been wasted, but maybe Rourke will have time before the January 7 start date to do his own research, or at least find out from Cage what he observed. Also, if Aronofsky wants this movie to be as big as it could have been, he might want Cage to lend his face, a la Face/Off, to the less-bankable Rourke.

Nicolas Cage as a parent? Variety says that Cage has signed up to play "a father who goes in search of his college-aged American-born Muslim son, who's missing overseas" in The Vanished. Cage is 43, so he's certainly old enough chronologically to play the parent of of a college kid. But maybe I'm just fixating on the buck-toothed role he played in his uncle's Peggy Sue Got Married, wherein Kathleen Turner desperately wanted to avoid having him father her child. Or maybe it's Raising Arizona, where he stole another family's quintuplets. Or Leaving Las Vegas, in which he drank himself to death, or Face/Off, where he made John Travolta's daughter think her dad was coming on to her, or the kind of fathers he played in Matchstick Men , The Family Man and The Weather Man.

In real life, Cage is probably a wonderful father to his children, but his performances tend to be all over the map, so we'll wait to see how his collaboration with director Hany Abu-Assad (Paradise Now) turns out. Does Cage's character in The Vanished disapprove of his son's decision to become a Muslim? I would count on it. Does he love him anyway? Of course. Will he come into conflict with racial and religious prejudice? No doubt.

The Vanished is described as a thriller, but it's being made for Focus Features. That, along with the subject matter, clearly signals the film as possible Oscar bait. (For comparison's sake, Focus's releases this fall are Eastern Promises and Lust, Caution, Reservation Road and Atonement.) Cage will next be seen in the sequel National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which hits theaters on December 21. He starts filming Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler in January and moves on to The Vanished in April. I wouldn't be surprised if they're aiming to complete it in time for the Toronto and/or Venice film festivals next September.

Down-on-his-luck private eye Tam (Aaron Kwok) is asked by a man to find a woman who is trying to kill him. Tam takes the case but instead of locating the mysterious woman he starts turning up dead bodies. Welcome to the off-kilter world of The Detective, directed by Oxide Pang. He and his brother Danny Pang made Bangkok Dangerous, which they are remaking in English with Nicolas Cage, The Eye , which is being remade by two French directors in English with Jessica Alba, and The Messengers, which isn't being remade because it was shot in English and made a good deal of money in relation to its budget.

The Pang Brothers are quite prolific; in the last five years or so, they've made three other films together as a team, Oxide has directed four others on his own and Danny has made three solo efforts. I very much enjoyed the energy and style of Bangkok Dangerous and The Eye, admired certain elements of The Eye 2, and was bored silly by The Messengers, but I haven't seen their other work. The Detective opened strong in Hong Kong last week, earning HK$1 million on its first day of release, according to Hong Kong-based entertainment news site batgwa.com. The Detective also opened in Singapore last week and opens today in Malaysia. Reviewer Kozo of LoveHKFilm.com calls it "more of a ride than a complete experience, but Oxide Pang puts together a very enjoyable ride." Stefan Shih of movieXclusive.com had some reservations yet wrote: "still recommended for the visuals, sound design and [Aaron] Kwok's charismatic one man show." The film also received a positive nod from Cammy Zulkifli of Cinema Online in Malaysia.

Aaron Kwok has been a romantic pop idol for many years while also starring in movies in which his dramatic talents have sometimes been questioned. Entertaining blogger Soupdragon commented in her review: "He's an obsession just biding its time before it takes over all over again. ... Sometimes you rediscover [old obsessions] and find it's going to be a blatant case of not-stalgia ... Other times you remember exactly why they were obsessions [in the] first place. This is a clear case of the latter." She puts the film on the top of her list for 2007. Sadly, The Detective doesn't appear to have North American distribution yet.

Note: This is the premiere entry in a new, weekly Cinematical feature focusing on the art of screenwriting. Welcome!



"That movie sucked! I could write something better than that!"

How many times have you walked out of a film saying those very words? Well, why don't you put your money where your mouth is, Buster Brown? If you can write something better, then by all means -- write! Writing is one of the few professions you can just do. You don't need lots of fancy equipment, you don't need lots of money, you just need a computer (heck, pen and paper will do) and an imagination. It's fun, it's free, and if you're really good at it, you could make a ton of money and get to sit in your underwear while you work. And really, isn't that the American dream?

"But Patrick," you're probably asking. "Where do I start? How do I know what to write about? How will I know if my stuff is good? And who the hell are you, anyway?"

Friends, I'm here to answer all of those questions and much, much more. "The Write Stuff" is a brand new column here at Cinematical devoted to the art of screenwriting. Every other Wednesday, I'll be giving writing advice and tips, answering your questions -- talking shop. On alternate Wednesdays, I'll be interviewing major Hollywood screenwriters about their craft (next Wednesday the interview series kicks off with Adam F. Goldberg, co-writer of the highly anticipated Fanboys, and the upcoming film adaptation of classic cartoon The Jetsons). Ideally, this dual approach will give you two valid perspectives -- one from the writer trying to make it, and one from the writer who's already made it.

We're not keen on picking up British rumors, but this latest one wouldn't surprise me in the least. According to IGN (via sources like The Daily Express and Star Magazine), none other than Nicolas Cage might be the current frontrunner for the lead role in that long-planned Magnum P.I. film. This one has been circling actors for awhile now, with folks like Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey and George Clooney rumored to be in talks at one point or another. The Daily Express claims that the film sort of fell apart 18 months ago when both Clooney and Ricky Gervais (who was slated to play Magnum's Brit sidekick Higgins) rejected the film as if it were a cute girl at a bar that's had way too many drinks.

If Cage does sign on -- apart from pissing off fans of the original television show starring Tom Selleck -- producers will then look to cast the role of Higgins right away with an eye on a 2009 release. IGN alludes to the notion that folks could be looking to sign its cast and rush into production for fear that a strike might destroy Hollywood and all mankind in the near future. The Daily Express cites that Cage "likes the mix of comedy and crime-solving in the script." Gee, ya think -- that one line practically describes every movie he's in to begin with; why wouldn't he be keen to do it? I just hope they don't make the guy grow a really outlandish mustache. Hey, I liked the way it looked in Raising Arizona, but something tells me the guy can't pull it off anymore. So far the only one signed on to the big-screen Magnum P.I. flick is director Rawson Marshall Thurber, who previously helmed the comedy Dodgeball and is gearing up to release his follow-up flick, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh.