Having ranted my fingers off under a coffee high over some Jessica Simpson/Grease casting rumors, I'm going to try and calm down with some less-incendiary casting nibbles from Variety:

• Ugly Betty co-star Vanessa Williams has signed on for a role in Paramount Pictures' NowhereLand. Unfortunately, there's no word on who she will play, although IMDb says her character is called Lori Struthers, but that doesn't help too much. The film, which has Eddie Murphy dipping into his daughter's fantasy world to fix his work issues, already has Nicole Ari Parker signed on for his estranged wife. The flick is currently filming, so we'll probably hear lots more about it soon enough.
• He's been Spawn. He voiced Doomsday in one Justice League series, and the Green Lantern in another. He's currently taking a stab as Gamble in The Dark Night, and now Michael Jai White has also signed on to star in an indie action movie called Blood and Bone. While it's got a 2007 date over at IMDb, Variety says that it has just started lensing in LA. I guess he's already finished shooting his part of the latest Batman then. Whatever the case, he might just be an example how how you can do hero projects over and over without having to stick to just one.
• Finally, there's a new role on the way for Jordi Vilasuso, who you might have caught in his stint as Tony Santos on The Guiding Light, or Eddie Zarouvian in Fashion House. Now the actor has signed on to play Diablo in La Linea. That's the picture I told you about in September that already has guys like Danny Trejo, Joe Morton, and Ray Liotta. Centering on assassins, drug cartels, and Tijuana, Vilasuso's character is a "homosexual drug lord." That's gotta be tough with all the testosterone surrounding this pic.

I have absolutely no idea why, but I'm kind of into Eddie Murphy's new family comedy called NowhereLand. I should be having flashbacks to the disappointing roles he's taken on over the last decade. I could go on and on about how much of a bummer it was that they could make Pirates of the Caribbean into a great series, and then flounder so pitifully with my favorite ride -- The Haunted Mansion. But forget Disney. NowhereLand is about a man named Evan who solves his work problems by exploring the fantasy world of his six-year-old daughter. It's the sort of flick that could be really good if it has some smarts, and I'm hoping that producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura is right when he says this is a role Murphy hasn't played before. I think Eddie not becoming five million different characters would be a good first step. However, I'm probably putting too many positive expectations on this project.

But on to the new castmates that The Hollywood Reporter just announced. Murphy and Thomas Haden Church (who will play his ruthless co-worker) are being joined by Brown Sugar's Nicole Ari Parker, DeRay Davis from License to Wed and ol' Beverly Hills Cop alum Ronny Cox. Parker will play Evan's estranged wife, who can't understand his preoccupation with their daughter's imaginary world, Davis plays his best friend -- "a therapist who calls himself the Man Whisperer and believes that all Evan needs to overcome his troubles is a good cry," and finally Cox plays the boss of a capital fund group who thinks Evan is doing some insider trading, but doesn't care as long as it works. Now all we need is the young tyke and we'll be set.

No, it's not a biopic on Eddie Murphy's latest big-screen role choices. Variety reports that Thomas Haden Church has joined Murphy in Nowhereland, a comedy for Paramount that's already set a release date of September 26, 2008. We previously told you that Murphy would be starring in the flick, with Karey Kirkpatrick (or "KK" as we used to call him back in the schoolyard) signed on to direct. In the film, Murphy will play a once successful financial exec whose career winds up in the crapper. From there things take a strange turn as Murphy's character finds the answers to his problems "within the magical world created by his daughter."

I know, they're traveling to the DMV -- that's what I thought too! But I gather it will be a tad more inventive than that. Sandman, er, Church will play Murphy's ambitious rival at work, and the film also reunites Kirkpatrick and Church; both worked together on Kirkpatrick's 2006 directorial debut, Over the Hedge. You hear Murphy's name, you hear Over the Hedge, and you begin thinking "Did I leave the gun loaded?" However, the good news is that the film was scripted by the on-again off-again writing team of Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson -- two guys who brought us the totally awesome (and very imaginative) Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Solomon also penned Men in Black, and so I do have hope that Nowhereland will turn into Somethingland. Paramount is giving it a late September release, clearly avoiding the August comedy rush. That either means a) they have enough faith to release it during Oscar hunting season or b) they want to keep it as far away from potential competition as possible. I'd opt for the latter.

Eddie Murphy hasn't made an R-rated movie since 1999's Life, and he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to do more any time soon. That seems like a real shame to me, as Murphy is one of the great modern vulgarians. Nearly all of his best roles have given him the freedom to really cut loose and let the expletives fly. Whither the Murphy of 48 Hours? The Murphy of Trading Places? The Murphy of Coming to America? I haven't laughed at Eddie since Bowfinger, and he hasn't had a truly great comedic role since The Nutty Professor over 10 years ago. He seems downright neutered in the children's films especially, and now he's signed on to what sounds like another one. In Nowhereland, Murphy will play "a successful financial exec who finds his career going down the drain and discovers the answers to his problems within his daughter's imaginary world." Sigh.

Karey Kirkpatrick will direct the film. He made his directorial debut last year with Over the Hedge -- the animated movie with the wacky talking animals. No, the other one. No, the other one. Nope. Yeah. That one. Nowhereland was written by Ed Solomon (Men In Black) and Chris Matheson (Mr. Wrong), an occasional writing team who first collaborated on a favorite from my youth: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Solomon was inspired to write Nowhereland when his young son had an idea that wound up solving a business problem. Hope that kid's getting story credit! Now I know very little about this Nowhereland, so I don't want to speculate on its quality. But I wonder if Murphy might have headed his career in a different direction had he won the Oscar for his strong performance in Dreamgirls. Would it have re-energized him? Would he have started challenging himself ... a little bit? We may never know. Shooting on Nowhereland begins September 10th.

Although Eddie Murphy is now "Oscar-nominee Eddie Murphy," he isn't immediately giving up on family comedies and heading into really serious roles. According to Variety, he just signed on to star in a new kiddie fantasy called NowhereLand. If we're lucky, it won't be as childish as Daddy Day Care or Doctor Doolittle, though it does at least involve a child. Murphy will play a financial executive who is given a new outlook on life from his daughter and her imaginary world. Sounds a little like It's a Wonderful Labyrinth.

The script is by Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson, who last collaborated on Mom and Dad Save the World, which I'll admit I guiltily enjoy. Of course, if you're not a fan of that movie, and chances are you're not, they also wrote the Bill & Ted movies! Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura (Constantine) told Variety that like Murphy's character in Dreamgirls, the NowhereLand role is something we haven't seen the actor play before. But if there's anything I want in this world, it is to see Murphy play the role we have seen him play before. That role is any character he played between 1982 and 1990, preferably one with a loud mouth and an asthmatic-sounding laugh.

Basically I would like to see Murphy play his character from The Golden Child, still naive and ever-baffled, but as a father. Then, I would like to see him made up as fantastic characters that dwell in his daughter's imaginary world. And then, I would like to hear myself laughing as much as I do while watching Trading Places. I know this is a lot to hope for, especially not knowing much about the movie's plot, but I like to have my own imaginary worlds. NowhereLand will begin shooting this summer after Murphy's done on Starship Dave.