Yes, the horrifying idea is true. Spooky Dan over at Bloody-Disgusting.net sat down with Rob Cohen, ostensibly to chat about The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and a startling bombshell was dropped. Cohen revealed that Paramount has snagged the rights to the 1987 cult classic The Monster Squad, and plans on remaking it in fairly short order. Cohen is going to produce, but isn't interested in directing.

The Monster Squad is a delightful horror-comedy about a group of middle school students obsessed with Stephen King, werewolves, and vampires. In a tidy plot twist, Dracula suddenly appears in their calm suburb, calls forth a few familiar minions, and makes plans to take over the world at midnight. It's the movie that proved, once and for all, that Wolfman has "nards." After languishing in cultish obscurity (and imprisoned on VHS), the movie had a resurgence once all us children of the '80s came of age, and is now available in a wonderful DVD package.

All of this is why the flick ... doesn't need to be remade. It's the perfect product of the '80s, one of those snarky movies the decade was rich in. Obviously Paramount is thinking that its ongoing popularity makes it an instant hit; I'm sure they will lamely explain this as a way to introduce the movie to the younger generation. But that's why we have DVD. I can introduce it to my future children just fine, thanks.

I never thought I would live to see the day when my entire childhood was remade. Surely Space Camp and The Goonies can't be far behind. What does that leave? Only Flight of the Navigator and An American Tail. Surely, the latter is being tossed around. I mean, two-dimensional animation doesn't speak to today's youth. Make it stop, Hollywood! Make it stop!

It's official! According to Variety, the School of Rock band is getting back together. Jack Black is returning to reprise his role as Dewey Finn, Richard Linklater will be sitting in the director's chair again, and Mike White is writing the script. Talk of a sequel has been flying for weeks, so this really comes as no surprise.

In School of Rock 2: America Rocks, Finn will lead a group of summer school students on a cross-country field trip that delves into the history of rock and roll. Expect lots of cameos as the students study the roots of blues, rap, and country. I'm putting my money on B.B. King already and Snoop Dogg. Maybe Bono and Bruce Springsteen, too. (Actually, that would be pretty cool.)

I'm of two minds on this. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the first movie; in fact think it was probably the first Jack Black movie I actually liked. But does it really lend itself to a sequel? While it's encouraging that the entire team is coming back, we all know that's never a guarantee of comedic success. How many awesome comedy sequels can you name?

Plus, there was that whole story about White weeping as he wrote the script. I'm still weirded out by that. Barring a fiery schoolbus crash, or the children discovering that Britney Spears was allowed to cover the Rolling Stones, why would you shed tears? Hmm. I think my official position has shifted from lukewarm to DO NOT WANT. What about you?

Gotta respect a producer who "takes his ball and goes home" when a studio balks at his chosen subject matter. Frankly I think there's way too much compromise in the movie biz, especially when you consider that film is supposed to be a balance between commerce and art. Lately it seems like the commerce has taken over. Like cancer.

Anyway, I just fan-ranted for a minute, but that's what happens when the name David Fincher comes up. For a while now, the director of fine films like Seven, Fight Club, and Zodiac has been planning to produce a new adaptation of the famous Heavy Metal magazine. If you're even slightly familiar with the publication (or this 1981 movie, which is highly uneven but certainly worth seeing -- and hearing!) then you know that any sort of Heavy Metal movie would inevitably be rated R. Sex, violence, profanity, monsters, huge barrels of cleavage ... Heavy Metal trades in all that stuff big-time. (Plus it's the home of several fantastic artists.)

But according to Hollywood Insider, Paramount got a little skitchy about the project's subject matter. "Too risque for mainstream audiences" is how EW's Nicole Sperling describes it. Mr. Fincher and his collaborators (Kevin Eastman, Steve Niles, and several others) are now offering the project around Hollywood, and it shouldn't take too long for the guys to find a buyer: I can't imagine that an animated feature like this would cost all THAT much, plus it's probably good politics to be pals with David Fincher. Plus, and most important, this project would certainly make some sort of a profit. Obviously it's not a 4,000-screen mid-July tentpole release, but dang ... there's plenty of room at the multiplexes for something different.

Even if that something different is actually based on a 35-year-old magazine.

So, who's going to San Diego Comic Con this year? Are you excited? Pumped up? Mildly interested? Pretending you don't care in order to impress someone of the opposite sex, but deep inside really do care and, as such, are counting down the seconds? It's okay, we're friends -- we can talk. This year, myself, Scott Weinberg and Elisabeth Rappe will be on the ground at Con representing Cinematical, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we're ready to get our geek on.

Aside from the very cool Masters of the Web Panel on Thursday morning (7/24) at 10am (which yours truly will take part in), we've been anxiously waiting to see which studios show up and with what product. Looks like Fox was first out of the gate, as I've been told they'll be there with bells on ... along with panels for Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg, John Moore and Mila Kunis expected to attend so far) and The Day The Earth Stood Still (Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Scott Derickson and Erwin Stoff expected to attend so far). There will also be an advanced screening of The Rocker, with Rainn Wilson in attendance for a Q&A. Of course, this is all tentative until everything is finalized next month.

On the other hand, Anne Thompson brings us the unfortunate news that Paramount will not be hosting a panel or bringing any stars to this year's Con. Apparently, a Paramount spokesman told Thompson that "the timing was off this year." Thus, fans will miss out on potential presentations of G.I. Joe, Star Trek, Transformers 2 and The Last Airbender. Sucks. Though you never know ... plans may change and there could still be a surprise or two. Here's hoping we get something, anything, from one of these highly-anticipated films.

UPDATE: Paramount's fishin' around today, so I don't think they're out just yet. More when we know ...

Earlier today, Elisabeth shared with you a Slate story that questioned whether United Artists photoshopped a picture of Claus von Stauffenberg so that it would look more like Tom Cruise when they were promoting the casting of the actor in Bryan Singer's Valkyrie. That post is over here. Read it. Love it. Investigate! In the same Slate story, however, they talk a bit about Mission Impossible 4. There's been rumblings recently of a new Mission Impossible -- how Cruise and Paramount's Sumner Redstone wined and dined one another -- leading many to believe they may patch things up and move forward on a sequel. Wonderful. Fabulous. Let's hold hands.

Not so fast. Slate says Paramount offered Cruise the chance to produce the sequel (they have to since it's in his contract), but not star in it. Not star? Cruise? No way. And that's exactly what happened: Cruise turned down their offer. Now, says Slate, Paramount may hold off on making a new Mission Impossible until their contract with Cruise's production company expires. This will then free them up to go out, cast some hot young stud as the new Ethan Hunt (or some other random Hunt-type dude), and continue along with a fairly popular action franchise.

But should they?

David Chase, the creator of The Sopranos -- you know, the greatest television show of all time -- has signed on to write, produce, and direct his first feature film, for Paramount Pictures. Calm down, fans of Tony and the gang -- this will not be a Sopranos flick. In fact, Deadline Hollywood Daily doesn't have much about the movie at all, other than that it's "an original drama," and that Brad Grey, Chase's Sopranos producing partner and CEO of Paramount, brought him on board. Chase says of their relationship: "Brad has always been adventurous as a producer and looked for different ways of doing things. I look forward to once again working with him, and now his team. For years, Brad has been a great partner, who helped enable me to do what I need to creatively."

Returning the love, Grey says "David is one of the great storytellers of our time, and his debut as a filmmaker is both highly anticipated and long overdue." I second that! "In truth, David has been creating cinematic-quality filmed drama for more than a decade – spanning nine seasons and 86 episodes of The Sopranos. Having worked with David as a producer, I'm delighted to be with him again and to bring his unique vision to the big screen." The Sopranos indeed delivered an hour-long movie each week, and each was better than 99% of films. I simply can not wait. And with the Sex and the City movie likely to be a big hit, here's hoping Chase can be talked into dropping that Sopranos movie on us and making my life worthwhile again.

Hell ... what if this "original drama" is the Sopranos movie and they're trying to keep it secret? There have been rumors swirling lately, and I don't stop believin'.

Looks like we'll be getting another Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer as soon as this week, as The Hollywood Reporter tells us Paramount plans to debut the preview through a newly-created widget they hope will be passed around the internet like a virtual joint. Originally, their story claimed the trailer would hit this week, but they've since updated the story, saying, "While Paramount plans to launch the widget this week, the studio declined to state when the new trailer will debut."

Apparently, this widget will be used for a number of Paramount promotional material (roughly 10 videos total, including stuff for The Love Guru), as the studio attempts to benefit from blogs like this one who'd like to give their readers a chance to watch right away rather than click off to somewhere else. It's a smart move -- one that will probably cut down on the amount of YouTubed trailers embedded on various sites -- which is something the studios are probably itching to do. A contest will also launch along with this new trailer; one that will give two fans a chance to attend the Indiana Jones world premiere, as well as become red-carpet correspondents. Winners will be chosen based on whomever distributes their Skull widgets the most.

Stay tuned to Cinematical, because as soon as this new trailer hits, we'll have it for you right here. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull arrives in theaters on May 22.

With the announcement today that Paramount is attempting to lure Sam Raimi into developing and directing several films based on the popular Jack Ryan character, it would certainly appear as if the man is officially done with Spidey. Of course, there's always a chance he'd stay on as producer, but will that be enough to bring back his original cast? Probably not. Paramount is targeting the summer of 2010 for their first Ryan flick, which -- from what we hear -- is right around the same time Spider-Man 4 would hit theaters (if all things stay as planned). The next Superman flick is also supposed to touch down that same summer, so it will be interesting to see a re-vamped Spidey go head-to-head against a sequel they really can't f*ck up.

Variety claims Raimi is not out of the running to direct another Spider-Man film, but since he's in the middle of helming Drag Me to Hell, it would be near impossible for the man to deliver both a new Spidey film and a Jack Ryan film at the same time. Both franchises are in need of some serious work, and it will take time to develop. There's been no word on the current Spidey script, other than it's being worked on -- so for all we know, that could be just about ready to go. Of course, the strike probably didn't help much. What do you think?

The man fanboys (and girls) love to hate has landed another comic book property.

Variety reports that Paramount has purchased the rights to Jim Shooter's Harbinger, with an eye to giving Brett Ratner the franchise. He's looking for the chance to start a franchise from scratch -- and probably regain the goodwill of comic fans everywhere.

Harbinger is a story about superpowered people, humans who are the next stage in evolution. But unlike the mutants of X-Men, their powers must be activated by the Omega Harbinger. The series follows one Harbinger teen, Peter Stanchek, as he teams up with others to bring down Toyo Harada, the Omega, who has used his powers to slowly conquer the world. I think it's pretty much faded into obscurity, though at one point, it was popular enough to boast a Frank Miller cover on one of the issues.

Will the Harbinger fans be up in arms at the choice of Ratner? Will people just be annoyed in general, X-Men 3: The Last Stand being too dreadful a sin to be forgiven? Or will this be his way back into the fold? I know what annoys me -- producer Alexandra Milchan's Blade Runner comparison! "The movie is in the vein of a young Blade Runner, as this 17-year-old gifted kid helps other kids tap into these parts of their brains." Has no one in Hollywood actually sat down and watched Blade Runner?