poor things Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Chalk up another missed opportunity for Lindsay Lohan, as it now appears the gal will not be starring in the upcoming flick Poor Things, no matter what Shirley MacLaine tells us. Lohan originally dropped out last year when she was admitted to rehab (first or second trip for her, I forget?), and now according to The Hollywood Reporter, they're looking at Brittany Murphy as a possible replacement. I say 'looking at' because negotiations with Murphy haven't even begun yet; she's just one actress they're eying for the role. Poor Things also has a new director in Scott Marshall (Blonde Ambition), who replaces Ash Baron-Cohen after the dude dropped out over "creative differences."

Poor Things tells the story of two female con artists who befriend and then murder homeless men for their insurance policies. Sounds interesting enough, although I never knew the homeless were known for their phenomenal insurance policies. The film already stars Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis (as the two female con artists, I believe), as well as Rosario Dawson and Channing Tatum. HR also says that Murphy was cast in Sin City 2; a project we haven't heard much about as of late. I assume she'll be reprising her role from the first film. No word on when Poor Things will finally go into production, but we'll let you know.

Now that Lindsay Lohan is officially out of rehab (and wearing a "Thou Shalt Not Do Anything Stupid" ankle bracelet), the girl should have plenty of time to start shooting the dark comedy Poor Things; that film starring Shirley MacLaine we told you about back in May. Remember how there was talk Lohan would be replaced in the flick, until MacLaine came to her rescue and issued a bizarre statement, saying they were rearranging the schedule of the film so Lohan can shoot her scenes following the 30-day stint in rehab? Remember all that? Well, according to one of the most reliable sources in the world (ahem, Page Six), the plug has been pulled on Poor Things for good. As in, the movie is dead. Page Six cites an email from production designer Fontaine Beauchamp Hebb (I'd like to see that on a birth certificate) to product vendors GE and Dell (both of whom were promised placement in the film in return for cash) that came attached to the subject line: "Poor Things has been cancelled."

Apparently, the body of the email read as follows: "Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news, but I just received a call from Jacky Gilardi, the producer, pulling the plug on the ill-fated film. Apparently, Ms. Lohan's antics in Las Vegas over the weekend have scared the bond companies and all of the funding has been pulled . . . I look forward to working together in the future and trust our next project will not be as fraught with difficulty." It should be noted that one of Lohan's friends called bullsh*t on the email, telling Page Six the actress had nothing to do with the movie shutting down. Says the friend: "It was a mess to begin with. They randomly fired Channing Tatum for Giovanni Ribisi, and then financing fell through because producers spent money like water. It was only supposed to cost $4 million -- Lindsay was being paid nothing for that role." As expected, everyone involved with the film declined to comment. So until final word comes through, I'd say you should chalk this one as another "Lohan ruined everything" rumor. Poor thing ... even when she's sober, she can't catch a break.

If you just returned from vacation in Helsinki, here's a recap of Lindsay Lohan Week. It started last Friday when, after the release of her new stripping clip from I Know Who Killed Me, the trades announced that Lohan had locked in a new role, in the 'elderly robbers' comedy Poor Things. In my post, I noted that it had been a good week for Lohan -- there were "no wild, out of control antics to report this week." Silly me. Later that night, Lohan ran her Mercedes up onto a curb and fled. The cops tracked her down at a local hospital, she was arrested, and then she checked into rehab, which threw her status in the new film in jeopardy -- a fact her publicist owned up to. One of the other stars of the film, Shirley MacLaine, subsequently released a statement of her own, saying the producers were trying to accommodate Lohan and help her with the "blending of mind, body and spirit." Groovy. Who knows what next week will bring? Until then, here are some samplings from the Lohan oeuvre to discuss.

Herbie: Fully Loaded No, she does't play Herbie. I've never seen so many fifty year-old men, sans kids, standing in line for a kids' movie in my life as I did for this one. I ended up seeing something else, but I know Michael Keaton has a role in this, cashing a check as Lindsay's dad, and Matt Dillon plays the heavy, if there's such a thing in a movie about a magical Volkswagen. If Herbie could talk, would he have a German accent?

A Prairie Home Companion I saw this one last year and remember thinking that Lohan did a fine job of handling the workload of an Altman picture, which is considerable. She seemed to be bearing down and trying, and did a good job of mixing in with the large ensemble cast. She certainly brings more to the movie than Virginia Madsen's ill-conceived Angel of Death character. Let's give credit where credit is due.

Just My Luck This is a weird one, which I caught the first half of on cable not long ago. Lindsay plays a young, upscale Manhattanite who angers the gods and becomes the unluckiest woman in the world. Not unlucky, as in, she suddenly becomes un-rich or un-gorgeous or anything serious like that. More like 'I got splashed by cab!' kind of bad luck. She has an opposite, a guy who had terrible luck and suddenly gets good luck after coming in contact with her, but I havent watched far enough to find out what happens yet.

Now that Lindsay Lohan is undergoing a much-needed 30-day vacation treatment process in one of them star-studded rehab joints on the west coast ( I wonder if each addict has their own personal masseuse?), everyone round these parts has been wondering whether La Lohan will remain attached to the flick Poor Things, even though production was supposed to begin this month. In a statement released by Poor Things producers Shirley MacLaine and Rob Hickman, it appears her role will be put on hold while the problem child gets this little publicity rehab stint out of the way.

The statement goes as follows: "In the spirit of helping Lindsay Lohan and her rehabilitation, we have been asked by Lindsay to comply with her wishes to continue working on Poor Things. We are trying to rearrange the shooting schedule to facilitate her working at the end of the shoot to coincide with the completion of her rehabilitation. We wish her love and the blending of mind, body and spirit." I think it's wonderful that she's getting support, but if Lindsay doesn't know or think she has a problem, and doesn't want or think she needs treatment (other than the fact that it will look good for her "image") then what's the point? See, I tend to think the only way to deal with this wild child is to yank this film right from her. Show her that she can't just do whatever the hell she wants without consequence. Actually, come to think of it, they should make her come live with me for a week; show her much life could really suck. "Oh, you're watching another bootlegged Wonder Years episode, Erik? Should I shoot myself now or wait until you heat up those four day-old Chinese food leftovers?"

Wow, I bet no one saw this coming. If you're not sick and tired of hearing about the trials and tribulations of Lindsay Lohan by now, then you seriously need to come over to my place because we're having a ball with this whole "coked up on the side of a road" snafu. Ah Lindsay, you beat Paris and Britney any day. Sometimes I feel as if all these girls get together in a room, throw a bunch of moronic activities into a hat and randomly choose the best way to end their career. "Ooohh, I got 'shave my head and punch a photographer's car!'" "Yeah, well I got 'drive the wrong way on the freeway.'" "That's nothing ladies, I got 'snort some coke and crash my car into a tree.' Beat that bitches!" Oh, but wait -- they're addicts. I forgot. Then again, I'm not so sure rehab can cure an idiot addiction.

Now that La Lohan has officially checked into rehab following the events that took place this past weekend, her future on film is all up in the air. According to Variety, the hard-partying thesp might have to ditch her latest role in the dark comedy Poor Things (which we literally just told you about the other day) because shooting was set to begin this month. Pic, which also stars Rosario Dawson, Shirley MacLaine and Channing Tatum, will either delay its start or feverishly search for an adequate replacement. For my money, I'd bet on the latter. This also brings into question Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me, which is due out July 27. Will Lohan be healthy enough to promote the flick? What will happen? And how long before someone plans a movie about her life with Lohan attached to star? And then, how long until she ditches that role too?

Less than a day after the trades announced that Lindsay Lohan had signed to appear in the film Poor Things, her life appears to have turned upside down again. It's being reported that, earlier today, Lohan ran her Mercedes convertible up onto a curb and into some trees while speeding in Beverly Hills and then fled to a local hospital to be treated for minor injuries. Police, responding to a *911 call, tracked Lohan to the right hospital and arrested her for investigation of DUI. At a subsequent afternoon news conference, they said that a "useable amount" of a drug they've tentatively identified as cocaine had been found while investigating the crash, though they declined to be specific about where exactly.

This is the latest in a laundry list of troubles for the young actress, which have played hell with her filming commitments, and now there's no telling if we'll be reading in the coming weeks about a replacement for Lohan in Poor Things. The domestic gross on Georgia Rule, which currently stands at $14.8 million, seems proof that the actress's uber-dramatic private life isn't exactly translating into box-office gold, so it's unclear if she'll continue to be a bankable star -- especially in teen-aimed romcoms -- after a stunt like this. The next film she'll be seen in is I Know Who Killed Me, which is currently utilizing a rather successful marketing campaign. That one is expected to hit theaters on July 27.

*Typo corrected.