raiders of the lost ark Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Let's face it, your the hero of your movie is only as good as your villain is bad. If you've got an amazing, swashbuckling, ass-kicking hero who faces off against someone wimpy, it just feels like you had an amazing appetizer and a lackluster main course. We want villains that we love to hate, not villains that we hate to love, and once we find them, we don't want to let go of them so easily. Just look at how much Darth Vader has dominated the world of villainy. He was in four of the six Star Wars movies, and is still pretty much the poster-boy for awesome villains.

But what about the villains who could have joined him? There's a whole slew of sub-villains who weren't given enough screen time, or were killed off too easily. Villains who deserve to roam the hallowed halls of the bad guys and girls club. We dedicate this Cinematical Seven to those who could have been great, but are instead relegated to the ranks of the Almost Perfect Villains Club.

Darth Maul

Speaking of Star Wars, Did this guy get a bad rap or what? He a Dark Lord of the Sith for pete's sake, yet he hardly talks, zips around on a scooter, and gets killed at the end of the only movie he appears in. He does kill Obi Wan's mentor, sure, but why not keep him around for later? He looked scary and cool at the same time, and wielded very cool double-ended saber. Plus, Ray Park did a kickass job playing him and making those fight scenes look amazing. Unfortunately, one chop to the midsection and he was never heard from again. Darth Vader went on to become a legend, but Darth Maul only became "that guy with the red face and the horns," and no one is rushing to make a movie about his origins. The Star Wars saga actually has a plethora of great villains we would like to see more of: Jabba the Hutt, Grand Moff Tarkin, Boba Fett, IG-88, and more.

I like to pride myself on having a pretty good memory for classic films, but man, my powers of recollection are nothing up against a dedicated film fan by the name of whoiseyevan. A couple of weeks ago I brought you his reworked Ghostbusters trailer as a 1954 classic starring Bob Hope and Dean Martin, and now he's back at work making trailers for Raiders of the Lost Ark and Forrest Gump as if they had been made in the Golden Age of Hollywood.

First up is Raiders, which was an ode to adventure serials of the '30's, but for the remake we've jumped ahead about thirty years. Now, it stars Charlton Heston as Dr. Jones, Anthony Quinn as Sallah, and the great Peter Lorre as everyone's favorite melty-face Nazi, Toht. Once again, you have to marvel at whoiseyevan's ability to find the perfect clips, and if you're as familiar with Raiders as I am, you will spot plenty of scenes that are almost identical -- right down to the monkey.

Now, transplanting Forrest Gump back to 1949 might have been a little bit easier, and it should come as no shock that Jimmy Stewart is standing in for Tom Hanks (especially since Hanks as been called our generation's Stewart on more than one occasion). Which would also explain how whoiseyevan might have selected some of these clips, because Stewart played a lovable man-child more than once during his career. For Gump, most of the clips look like they were taken from It's a Wonderful Life, but there are a few surprises to be had, including who gets to take over the role of Lt. Dan -- which I won't spoil for you because, frankly, it's genius.

After the jump: a trip back in time with Dr. Jones and Forrest Gump...

You can't turn around in a movie without bumping into a professor. If it's not Nicolas Cage as the unlikeliest astrophysicist to be granted tenure at M.I.T. in Knowing, just released on DVD, it's the passel of professors that will undoubtedly be presented in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, due out in theaters next Wednesday. Which kind of professor do you prefer?

My early impressions were formed by seeing the distinguished, imposing Harvard law professor John Houseman dress down Timothy Bottoms in James Bridges' The Paper Chase: "Here is a dime. Take it, call your mother, and tell her there is serious doubt about you ever becoming a lawyer." My impressions changed dramatically when I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones may have been more of a thrill-seeker than an academic, but he was driven by his love for archeology -- and a desire to share his knowledge with his students, no matter how distracted they were by his dreamy looks.

Movies have produced so many memorable professors that it's hard to narrow down the list, but here are my other favorites, and why:

• Gary Cooper, Ball of Fire (Good-hearted and modest).
• Orson Welles, The Stranger (Cold-hearted and scary; an alluring phony).
• Jerry Lewis, The Nutty Professor (Makes you feel better about yourself).
• Peter O'Toole, Creator (Zestful and enthusiastic; encourages free thinking).
• Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society (Funny, if a bit too manic and pushy).
• Michael Douglas, Wonder Boys (Wounded, but can still teach life lessons).

Who are your favorite movie professors?

Crank: High Voltage comes out this weekend, which sends Jason Statham back into a frenzied pinball movie world that has his sweaty bald head running at top speed to keep himself alive ... again. So if you want to keep your levels pegged at 11 this weekend, you might want to consider one of these other movies that have pure Russian racehorse levels of adrenaline pumping through their veins. When we say adrenaline fueled, we don't just mean hyperkinetic, no-attention-span-editing and lots of boring action sequences. That might even qualify Hannah Montana: The Movie for this list.

No, we mean you're on the edge of your seat, neck and shoulders tense, and eyeballs propped open like Malco McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. Cinematical urges you to try this at your own risk, and does not recommend any artery-clogging snacks in the midst of your movie madness. You'll need those suckers wide open to keep the heartpump chugging away, and you can consider yourself exercised for the month of April if you make it through at least three of these movies by Sunday.

Crank

Before writer-directors Neveldine and Taylor concocted another way to brutalize Jason Statham onscreen, they originally did it in this underrated film from 2006. I went into Crank with zero knowledge of the movie, other than the fact that the guy from the Transporter movies, Snatch, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels was in it. I'd hated the Transporter series, but loved the other two so I thought I'd give this a shot. 87 minutes later, I peeled my sweat-soaked back from the theater seat and staggered out to the car. This is non-stop, pure over the top action, and it's well worth seeing. Just take your meds before watching.

Finding out how your favorite movies came to be is generally very rewarding and educational. You seek out The Seven Samurai, and thank the film gods that a robotic shark failed to work. At the very least, you can win trivia contests by knowing what Rosebud was, and impress your friends by telling them who was originally cast as Aragorn.

And then there's the stuff you wish you had never known. This week, you may have been one of the Indy fans who eagerly downloaded the Raiders of the Lost Ark transcript, where George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Lawrence Kasdan hashed out ideas for one of the greatest film characters of all time. Cool stuff. Useful if you aim to write books or movies someday. Then I read this bit about Marion and Indy, and their ideas for their early love affair gone wrong:

GL: I was thinking that this old guy could have been his mentor. He could have known this little girl when she was just a kid. Had an affair with her when she was eleven.

LK: And he was forty-two.

GL: He hasn't seen her in twelve years. Now she's twenty-two. It's a real strange relationship.

SS: She had better be older than twenty-two.

Let me get this right out of the way: I love the folks over at Moviefone; they're cool people. We've hung out together, thrown back a few cold ones and even high-fived on one or two occasions. But this latest list ... well, I'm a little upset. Moviefone has counted down the top 40 films from the '80s, and while I certainly agree with a lot of the films on said list, their placement is completely out of whack. Here's their top five: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1), Blade Runner (2), Raging Bull (3), Empire Strikes Back (4) and This Is Spinal Tap (5). Don't get me wrong -- all dynamite flicks -- but Back to the Future at 21, Ghostbusters at 40 (!!!!!), E.T. at 20 and The Breakfast Club at 27? And don't get me started on the fact that Ferris Bueller's Day Off didn't even make the list -- just thinking about it sends murderous shivers down my spine. What's up with that Moviefone?

I guess when it comes to listing the best '80s movies, I'm more inclined to stick films that defined the decade in top spots moreso than films that were critically acclaimed (not that some can't be both). I mean, I definitely do not think Bull Durham (9) should beat out Aliens (10), The Terminator (13) or The Shining (14) ... but maybe I'm missing the total and complete awesomeness that is Bull Durham. Check out their list over here and let us know where they got it right and where they went wrong. (Trust me, I've already gone after them about the Back to the Future placement because if we don't protect Marty McFly, who will?)

I'm a foodie, so I'm always wowed by the fan cakes that pop up, but this ... this (pardon the pun) really takes the cake. The above should look familiar -- it's an Indiana Jones/Raiders of the Lost Ark Idol Cake, courtesy of Clever Cake Studio. Clever indeed!

Forget old Indy, his son, and the new episodes and sequels. Blech. There's nothing quite like the original, real thing. The only thing that could make this cake better would be to geek it out with a sensor that could tell when the bag is switched with the idol -- without, of course, the tumbling walls and booby traps, that is. To add those would just be a bad idea. Nevertheless, the kid who got that cake is pretty darned lucky.

Or maybe not. I don't know that I could eat something that looks that cool. I'd probably want to leave it out and see how many people practice switching the bag for the idol.

[via Accidental Hedonist]

Fans of Raiders of the Lost Ark might want to look away right now as what you're about to watch could cause serious damage to your soul. A brief snippet from the upcoming Raiders of the Lost Ark Special Edition DVD has leaked online and, in it, there seems to be a little update from George Lucas. I kinda like the small touches added and think fans will get used to them after awhile. Yup, don't worry ... they'll just blend into the background. I mean, really, who cares about this old flick anyway? It's so ... 1981-ish. That said, I'm sure folks are already in the process of creating an "Indy Shot First" t-shirt. Check it out up top, then let us know what you think? Should we start a petition? Has Lucas lost his mind? And how could Spielberg agree to something like this? Sound off ...

[Thanks Matthew]

If you missed any of our special Indiana Jones coverage last week, here's a recap of what went down:

Discuss: So, How was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

Retro Review: Raiders of the Lost Ark
Retro Review: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Retro Review: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Cannes Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (James)
Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Scott)

Interviews: George Lucas, Shia LeBeouf and Cate Blanchett
Interviews: Harrison Ford and Karen Allen

Cinematical Sevens:

Indiana Jones Influences
Favorite Indiana Jones Moments
Indiana Jones Knock-Offs
Who Else Could've Played Indy
Watching Indy Through the Years

Special Features

The Exhibitionist: Indiana Jones and the Lost Art of the Serial
Monday Morning Poll: Your Favorite Indiana Jones Sidekick
The Geek Beat: Illumination
Discuss: The Women of Indiana Jones
Jeffrey M. Anderson's 400 Screens 400 Blows - How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Spielberg

More after the jump ...

Indiana Jones is a franchise of moments. Some die-hard fans may recall the precise steps the hero took to locate and procure the Ark of the Covenant (i.e. the plot), but damn near everyone remembers "Snakes... Why did it have to be snakes?" The series is defined and embodied by individual flourishes, images and icons that stubbornly refuse to leave fans' minds, and sometimes even get stuck in pop culture as a whole. As for which ones, well -- that may be different for different people. This is a list of moments that represent Indiana Jones for me: the moments that always evoke a knowing smile or elevate the pulse; the moments I look forward to every time I watch. Some are obvious, some are not, and some of the obvious ones are missing -- but hey, make your own list.

1. Raiders: "Start the engine!"

Oh sure, most people would probably list Indy and Satipo navigating the booby traps of ancient temple to retrieve the golden idol in Raiders' deservingly legendary opening sequence. And yes, that's cool. But what I love even more is a moment that comes a few minutes later: with Rene Belloq and the Hovitos on his tail, Indy comes barreling across a plain, hollering at his companion to "START THE ENGINE" of a waiting seaplane. It's intense, absurd, exciting, funny: everything everyone loves about the series, in the span of a few seconds.