Everyone I talk to is disappointed with the way the Oscars turned out. Everyone either complains that they were too boring or that there were too many train wrecks on the red carpet. I have one friend who was dissing what the woman who was up for most original song was wearing. A composer? You're dissing a composer? That's not fair. That person never meant to be seen by mllions of people. So I don't know if I've gone soft. or if the last few awards shows have been soooo bad that my standards have been lowered, but I actually enjoyed the Oscars.

But before I go into who I liked and why (and on the subject of what's fair) I want to talk about something I think might have a profound impact on Hollywood if it were implemented. I want to suggest that the person responsible for the outfit stand on the carpet next to the outfit ... now if the celebrities chose to go out on a limb and dress themselves then they should stand alone (like criminals choosing to represent themselves in court), but in most cases I think the stylists should stand up and take the claim or blame for what they have created. And knowing a lot of stylists personally, I can tell you that what you will find is two things: 1) hopefully being held responsible will cause that person to do their job objectively and maybe produce less train wrecks on the red carpet and 2) that most stylists don't know how to dress themselves. It would really be interesting. And then that is who we should talk to when we talk about what their celebrity is wearing. Can you imagine?

[To Jennifer Hudson's stylist] "So what did you choose to put Jennifer in tonight, one of the biggest nights of her life ... the apex of her Cinderella story ... the crowning event that should change her career path and life forever?"
[Stylist] Well I went to the floor at Macy's and picked up a turd brown dress by Oscar De La Renta with pockets in it.
[Interviewer] Why turd brown?
[Stylist] We like earth tones
[Interviewer] Why the pockets?
[Stylist] Not sure ... I thought Jennifer might need a practical place to keep her acceptance speech. Or maybe a pen to sign autographs with. Or gum, or credit cards, or something. What if her hands get cold?
[Interviewer] OK ... good looking out (wink) And what is she wearing on top? Is that a silver or gold python cropped mini jacket/shrug that doesn't seem to fit?
[Stylist] Yes, well ... we wanted Ms. Hudson to have some edge and glamour ... you know ... be current, and push the fashion envelope a little.
[Interviewer] Hmm .... it looks like something from the Jetsons cartoon
[Stylist] I see your point....well look at animation today ... the Jetsons were ahead of their time.
[Interviewer] The proportion is all wrong, the fabrication is cheap, and I think that matching it with that brown dress is a bad idea.
[Stylist] Well she can take it off when she gets inside.

I guess because I'm not a dedicated Hugh Grant fan I don't quite understand the impulse to handcuff myself to him. It might not have been the actions of an overzealous fan, but that's what happened to the star at the Dutch premiere of the romantic comedy Music and Lyrics with Drew Barrymore. Hollywood.com reported that Dutch TV personality Cielke Sijben from 101 TV approached Grant as he walked the red carpet at the Amsterdam Pathé theatre and without saying a word, calmly shackled herself to him. It is assumed that Sijben was performing a prank for a show for the network but that didn't make the incident any less bizarre for those nearby.

An onlooker at the event commented, "It was incredible. She appeared from nowhere and Grant couldn't believe it was happening." Police later arrested Sijben, but not before Grant had to stand attached to her for almost ten minutes before fire fighters could arrive to cut the handcuffs. Grant said nothing while waiting to be freed, but as soon as the cuffs were off he went back to working the press line alongside co-star Drew Barrymore. After Grant had fulfilled his publicity obligations he was described as seeming to be "relieved when he disappeared into the theatre--she could have been a maniac." Not to mention that the sensation of wearing handcuffs probably brought back some unpleasant memories.

Holy crap, I'm live-blogging the red carpet coverage on E! Keep refreshing the page if you want to live...or just want to watch me make fun of Ryan Seacrest, like, a lot.

5:30: Okay, so how long before Isaac Mizrahi attempts to french kiss one of the Brokeback boys just to see if, ya know, he can grab a spot in the sequel?

5:32: Oohh, they have a blimp - I think I just saw Tom Sizemore's crack den!

5:33: Seacrest opens up the red carpet with Alba's Playboy news? Yeah, I can see how that connects to the Academy Awards.

5:35: Okay, when they do the whole 3 circle conversation, it gives me a headache - especially when Mizrahi mentions underwear.

5:37: Does anyone else think Ryan Seacrest's Oscar "lounge" is, well, a little bit Brokeback?

5:43: Seacrest is interviewing John Legend in the Oscar "lounge" and all I want to know is whether or not those people in the background are having real conversations or just going back and forth with stuff like, "Holy crap, I'm on E! right now!"

5:45: Seacrest reads the Oscar menu and they are serving grilled cheese sandwiches. Classy!

5:46: Noah Baumbach and Jennifer Jason Leigh are the coolest couple ever! Mizrahi is officially a doof for thinking understudies are funny.

5:50: Seacrest is back in the "lounge" going over designers. Once again, this has so much to do with the films. However, you can keep up those pics of Scarlett Johansson.

5:54: The topic of conversation has gone to who does and doesn't have extensions. Is this important to a woman? I have no idea.

5:56: Giuliana says people who show up early are tools. I love it. Oh, and take a real close look at Guiliana. Is it me or is it a bit cold out there?

5:58: Hey Ludacris made it to the "lounge". Man, Seacrest has all the VIP's!

Don't forget, kids, – because I'm absolutely insane, I'm forcing Martha and Erik to help me live blog the Golden Globes tonight. You can start your evening over at TV Squad where, starting at about 6pm, Bob Sassone will be blogging the red carpet arrivals. Then, swing back on over here for marathon coverage. And, of course, don't forget to snark to your hearts content in the comments.